Super Dimensional Injustice Exchange Group

Not to mention that he caused me both mental and physical harm.

Most of the time he just doesn't use his brain.

For example, when I left, I wrote a letter saying that I went to see him despite my illness, and he never thought about why I was sick. I said that I stayed with him so that she would forgive me, otherwise she would not want to take medicine. The reason was that I was angry with him, and the disease would relapse, and medicine was useless. I gave up treatment at that time, so when my father and I went to the hospital, the doctor said that I needed surgery, and I didn’t think it was necessary to spend more money.

Let me put it this way, I stayed in Anqing for seven days, and I didn't drink any other water, I just drank alcohol. But my physical condition is better than when I met him.

He never used his brain and felt that his emotions were heavy, but he didn't know why.

For example, let’s take a simple question as an example. If he really knows to tell me every time he gets off work and goes to bed, do I need to tell him every day?

For example, if he takes the initiative to talk to me and try to find a topic to talk about, can I keep asking him questions?

I'm saying this because he didn't do it.

He never remembers what he promised. I continued to get along with him because of those three sentences. It's not that I must force him to fulfill his promise, but he didn't consider that he didn't do what he promised, and he couldn't be angry with me for deleting him. But I still added him back. To continue to comfort him. Because I regard him as a friend, and friends are not about you helping me and I helping you. If you don't do it, I won't do it either. Even if I know that he is actually the one who doesn't value feelings. I will still continue to think of ways to not make him sad.

Because when I see my friends and other people sad, I feel very uncomfortable.

He only felt bad for himself, and didn't notice that others were also bad. He was still playing games with a clear conscience. He didn't know that others couldn't eat or sleep well.

He thought I had done something unforgivable, but he never thought that he had done countless unforgivable things first. I forgave him every time.

I would think that maybe being treated like that would really make me sad, and I would not be able to forgive others. In fact, he has done many things that are unforgivable.

Even though we had quarrels and broke up with our friends when we were young, we would eventually make peace.

Just because I have always been good-tempered doesn't mean I really don't have a good temper.

He pursues the bubble-like happiness that he can never achieve, but shrinks in the tortoise shell he has built for himself, turning his sword against the people who are truly with him and care about him. When others get hurt and run away, he feels lonely and feels that others look at him with strange eyes.

Close your eyes, cover your ears, and only have your mouth open to speak.

Every time I persuade him, tell him not to do that, but in the end he will hit the wall, and no one can pull him back, and then it will be a mess, and finally it will cause everyone's mental stress to max out, dragging everyone into hell, just like the school will issue a notice every summer vacation not to let people go into the water, but some water ghosts will not listen and want to go swimming, and then put the blame on others. As if I will feel better if I do that. It's not just this time, I was like this when I was in the group before.

In fact, he never considered that the reason others looked at him strangely was not because of his interest, but because of his stupidity.

If we really asked him to play games, that would be fine. But he would come up every time to play games, and when he was unhappy, he would say something disgusting to everyone and then run away. Are you in the mood to continue playing?

Is this a bad character? This is called being uneducated.

Having a bad personality is not an excuse to hurt those close to you.

In many cases, he did things that I could not forgive, and I did not need to care about him in the beginning. But every time I softened my heart and felt uneasy. I thought of the people who accompanied me at that time.

When I was depressed, Lingqi came all the way from Nanjing to my hometown to hang out with me. Was he idle at the time? No, he had to finish his paper in my room. He came to my hometown just because I was upset. I had a quarrel with someone and deleted him. Later, Shijie asked me why there was no news about Lingqi. I said I didn't know, but I kept looking for Lingqi's contact information on my phone, and the result was a stranger.

I spent the rest of my life regretting the things I did and the people I hurt. I also regretted not doing anything when friends quarreled with each other, which eventually led to some of my friends leaving me. I let things develop, so the worst thing happened.

Just know that I was a jerk before, so I don’t want to be a jerk now.

But if I really want to say that I feel guilty towards her, I don't feel guilty at all. I actually know that she is the one who has been doing things that are not good for me and this relationship.

It's just that I don't want to be like him, a loser, and get angry at people close to me. I can only say that I will bite my tongue and swallow it. For example, I don't eat sushi. I don't watch Bilibili anymore.

But I won't be like him, pointing my finger at him and scolding him. I won't be rude to her. When he came to me after a long time, I always remembered how he messed with my mentality, which led to me not even playing that game with my roommates and not eating sushi. But when he came to me, I was still as enthusiastic as before, and then I took the responsibility on myself when I deleted him. In the final analysis, I didn't want to make others feel uncomfortable.

If others are uncomfortable, I will also be uncomfortable.

It wasn't until the end, after he murdered me, that I really couldn't stand it anymore.

He was different from the people I knew before. After I met him, I didn't have any happy memories. I was also sick. I had a second shock that night. On the night of the murder, I almost went into the kitchen to get a knife. But I calmed down in the end. Because I didn't want to die at home. My family would be sad and my brother would be scared.

I told the editor that I didn’t want to be recommended this week.

When an author writes a book, it has to be recommended week after week. Originally, I was supposed to recommend it this week, but I said I didn’t want it anymore. I said I might die. The editor thought I needed to have an operation, and I said, I really needed to have a special operation.

I plan to commit suicide in the ancient village after the book is recommended.

This time, it wasn't because I was impulsive, but because I was tired.

It's not that I'm tired of using my emotions to deal with this stick, but that I'm too tired.

It took me three years to piece together this life and these interpersonal relationships that I had patiently put together, and they were destroyed so easily. Now I have to look back and say that I was not a good enough friend to him and did not treat him as a family member.

The relationship between him and me is actually like that between a farmer and a snake. Or it is like a small amount of kindness breeds hatred. It is because I treat him as a friend and don’t care about his temper and stupid things, so he thinks he is very good to me. So he thinks that I deleted him and am not a good friend. I don’t treat him as a family member. In the end, he still bites back.

But he didn't think about the mess he left every time he played games. Where did this friend go? He left others alone all night. When did he realize that I was not in the group and was no longer by his side? It was definitely not two days after I left the group.

You say they are your family, but you find it annoying to receive their care, right? You find it annoying to receive their gifts, right?

Are you happy to hear such words? It is because you treated him as a friend and tolerated him that you were killed by him.

I just don't believe in that. I just look at how it's done.

We can't say he is a liar, we can only say he is ignorant.

If I really treat him the way he does, will he be happy if I pretend to be dead and don't reply to him every day when he adds me? Or will he be happy if I point my finger at him and scold him?

He would definitely not be happy if he killed someone and treated them in his way.

Maybe she wouldn't feel bad if I treated her coldly. But she didn't remember saying that when she saw me delete him as a friend, he added me so many times that he was thrown into the filtered notifications.

It's not that I chose suicide because the relationship broke down. It's because he deliberately provoked me.

He simply couldn't remember what I told him at the beginning, to calm down, think clearly and delete me. I also told him to just say it if he hated me. I was very rude to her because I cared about her feelings, not because I really wanted to stay. If he had said that, would I not have left?

He would say he wanted me to give up, but really he just wanted me to die.

I don't mind saying this at all. I was murdered by him. Some people don't cry until they see the coffin. If things don't happen to you, you will never know the seriousness of it. You think you can handle it, and then when you can't handle it, you push the things onto others and pretend to be pitiful, thinking that will make you feel better.

My problem now is that my heart, throat, stomach, esophagus, and eyes all have problems. There is blood in my spit, and I often feel short of breath. And the most important thing is not the physical problem, but the mental problem. I am very repulsive to people now. I don’t want to hear anyone’s voice, and I don’t want to see anyone. I have no interest in anything, whether it is playing games, watching videos, watching animation, or even writing and reading novels. I can’t do anything. Not to mention making money. When I last chatted with someone, I asked them not to reply to me. What I said was that I didn’t want them to take notes, but in fact I was afraid that they would mess with my mentality like Bing Yuxin did.

I am afraid that they don’t know anything and will stand on that person’s side and speak for him. Just like when I saw Nana’s comments on Tomato, I said a few words and then uninstalled Tomato. I am afraid that Bing Yuxin will leave his impression of me in my comment section, and I am afraid that others will stand on Bing Yuxin’s side and speak.

So I ended up not wanting to eat with my family. I didn’t want to hear anyone’s voice. I uninstalled QQ and WeChat. I didn’t even want to look at my phone. I ended up looking for some childhood games to reminisce, but I still didn’t feel like playing them at all.

I changed my QQ and lay at home, ready to wait for the next recommendation to seek death.

But if I died so soon, I hadn't paid off the money I owed Benzi, and I had just returned from Beihai. If I died, my two roommates who had serious mental problems might also encounter some problems. In addition, I was the last person to keep in touch with Bing Yuxin. If I committed suicide without saying anything, everyone would be dragged into hell by him. He himself would also be questioned.

I wrote him a letter, hoping that he would not be sad. I wanted to take care of his feelings. I said some nice things to him, asking him how kind he was. Although I knew that he would still stay in his shell and push the responsibility away. But I didn't want him to really be responsible for murder. So I told him that I had never said those things. This way he would feel better and would have an excuse, saying that I had never said them. But did I really not say them? If I really didn't say them, he would remember how to pick on my weak points. You will understand if you think about it.

I really don't know what he wants. He added me as a friend and said he doesn't mind being fucked. I feel tired when I talk too much, and he thinks I'm just sulking if I don't talk. He always takes it out on people who care about him. I really don't know who is mentally ill, him or me. I pulled out what I said in the group before, hoping that he would remember a little bit. If he really wants to be fucked and really wants to play around, I can satisfy him.

Because he actually doesn't know what he wants. A relationship, a friendship, a close friend? Or a piece of plasticine that won't get angry no matter how hard you try.

But in fact, I know that he will definitely not really add me, because he is avoiding the fact that he killed someone. I don't want to make him realize this reality by telling him the truth. I just want him to reply when Benzi asks him about it, so as to minimize the impact of the matter.

Just like I didn’t want to tell him that I quit the group because he pissed me off. I kept trying to keep the matter small.

I have said that I was very sober and calm this time, and I also told Benzi that I was not acting rashly, because I knew there were some things I couldn't say to him, and if I did, he would feel uncomfortable, because he might think that he was also responsible.

Originally, I had no mental problems. I lived with three other people in Beihai. When they were all emo, I was the only one pretending to be happy like an idiot. When they were sad, I would comfort them and bring them drinks and food. In many cases, I didn't want them to talk to me about money. But Benzi would remember the money and transfer it to me. Except after I met this person named Bing Yuxin, I felt uncomfortable.

I had always told them that the sooner they died, the sooner they would be reborn in another world. But before the day I went back, they said they wanted to be reborn as beautiful girls, and I kept silent. I had always talked to them about this topic. I felt very tired. Being a human. I didn't want to be reborn, travel through time, or reincarnate after death. Even if I was a beast or a cat, I didn't want to be reborn. I just wanted my soul to fly away. So the cover of the book was Wang Hassan. It was because I met him in this life.

I have been thinking that all I have done is meaningless. Others will not remember my good deeds, will still make me angry, and will still take away my interests.

I made friends with Bingyu not because I wanted to get something from him. I never wanted to say that making friends with people is to get something from them. When I was with the author's friends, everyone would still give me py, and I couldn't get anything from him, and it was impossible for him to really satisfy my desires. But the problem is that it's no longer about getting something, but only about losing unilaterally.

I have been angry in the group for so many times, and in the end, I was told that I am not a good friend.

I was so angry about what he said and did that I lay in bed for more than ten days. I didn't want to make him sad so I went back to find him, but what I got was that we are no longer a family.

I told him about my taboos in the hope that he wouldn't be so sad, but what I got was that he used this as a stab in my heart.

I don't like him at all. I just don't want to see a friend sad.

I have always wanted to maintain my humanity and be a good person.

But when I'm with him, my humanity just disappears so quickly. But if I just kick him out for this reason, I won't have any humanity left.

Thus, I was caught in a dilemma.

Actually, I don't mind talking about how he shirks responsibility and spreads rumors. It's better for me that he feels better that way.

Because I really don’t want to make a big deal about my affairs and make everyone uncomfortable. So I said goodbye to everyone and quit the Internet. I told others to live well and not give up the love for interests and stories. I have handled everything well.

Even if he killed me, I can't ask him to pay with his life. Because it's hard to change what has happened. It's better to minimize the damage.

Therefore, I also avoided telling him directly that he had any responsibility, and in the interludes of the book, I also talked about how good he was to me, and that I myself had no intention of living. This way, if he really heard the news, he would feel better and avoid realizing that he was the one who killed me.

I said, he could have saved me. I accidentally lost him. In fact, I don't need to be saved at all, I just need to live. I know that he was the one who pushed me into the abyss. He never saved me, he just kept making me angry.

I said that I had no intention of living in the first place, because this idiot would not listen to me. The person who tied the bell must untie it. But he would just think that I was forcing him. So I still tried to make him feel better.

I don't want my departure to change anything, because no matter what I say or do, it may not change anything.

So actually I don't like people talking to me with their bad manners, but when he doesn't say it, I still notice it. I don't want my relationship with him to change anything. At the beginning, I just wanted to leave a not-too-bad memory.

I've done a lot for him, but all I ask is for him to not mess with my mentality.

Later, when I was lying dead, my friends found my other QQ and asked me to play mahjong. I played mahjong with them.

They asked me if I wanted to talk on the phone, and I used the excuse that they didn’t want to talk on the phone. In fact, I didn’t want others to hear that I was coughing and coughing up blood.

I could only tell Hua what happened to me. Even if I told Hua, I didn't want to put all the responsibility on him, and I didn't say his name. What I told Hua was that I felt the world was fake, that I couldn't do anything, and that I felt it was missing.

But the world is fake, but the days we spend are not fake. I've gotten used to not being able to do anything.

The truth is, he killed me.

No one really wants to die. Just like other depressions, no one would say they really want to die. I am the same.

I know what kind of network I have, and I also have things I want to do.

Even without these, death would be painful, no matter how it happens.

But how long do you think I can remember this?

I may never forget this. I've said before, I remember everything from kindergarten clearly. Every time I think of this person, my heart aches.

This doesn't mean I have done anything to feel guilty about, nor can I say I have done anything happy.

The reason why he was able to come to me happily was because he put all the pressure on me.

Just talk about some things that have no sympathy at all. Just wearing women's clothes once and want to quarrel.

I held my anger and wrote some disgusting, flattering and touching words, but I just wanted to minimize the matter and make everyone less sad. I wanted him to avoid thinking that he was the one who killed him.

If you feel disgusted, you won’t think too much about it.

It's just because I'm hopeless that I say those things.

I went out for a walk that night. It was raining and quite cold outside.

I went out again the next day. I brought the box cutter I bought with me. I bought some food and a Coke at a convenience store on the way. The bottle was broken. When I went to the ancient village, I was still telling the clerk at the Lawson convenience store that he was working hard that night.

Later, I cut my finger in Xijiang Ancient Village. I used to avoid touching my finger because I write stories and need my hands to make money. Later, someone came out with a flashlight and I saw it, so I went home. I didn’t want to be discovered and sent to the hospital, which would cause a sensation in the city. When I got home, I found that I had brought the key with me. My mother had just come back from work and asked me what I had done. I pinched my finger and said I went to buy a drink. The blade of the utility knife is very thin, so the wound is almost healed now.

That day I told the editor and Benzi about my last words. Don't think about it. Last words don't say as much as mine. I just told Benzi to find Bing Yuxin. I didn't say anything to belittle him that night. I don't want others to know that he is a nuisance and a burden.

He also has parents and family, and I also call his mother "Mom" or something like that.

As for his family, what makes me sad is not that such a big thing has happened, but that others will treat him as a nuisance and a burden, and he will be hated by everyone.

Then when I got home, I ordered some lobster, clams and snails. Then I finished the clams and some lobster.

I turned off my phone and just wanted to get a good night's sleep.

When I woke up the next day, I found that my dad's remaining things were thrown away. I felt really bad. That was the first time I showed my sadness.

Then when he got up, he saw the notebook and asked me what happened. He told me that the person had run away.

I am really tired. I really can't bear this any longer.

Because this idiot made me have to get up in the middle of the night to tell Benzi what she had done, and then I was so angry that I went to the hospital to get oxygen.

Before that, I had never said anything bad about him, nor did I say anything about her using me as a punching bag.

This kind of thing made me unable to sleep well.

But the saddest thing is not that I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep, but that I had to confess all the hurtful words and things with my own mouth.

Many people will think this sentence is very teasing and bitchy. But I said that only those who have really lived in the worst-hit area of ​​a mental hospital for a period of time can understand my feelings.

Even mentally ill people can't understand what other mentally ill people are thinking, so ordinary people certainly can't understand it either.

He keeps calling his friends and family, but when he really gets angry, his friends and family disappear into nowhere. He self-righteously plays a boring game of friends instead of really considering other people's feelings.

He talks a lot about morality, but he does things that hurt others.