I'm a weird expert in Japan

I am a weird expert in Japan Author: Kotomine Satsuki

My name is Si Tiao Lian and I’m a violinist.

But most of the time I’m not giving concerts, but doing weird jobs.

For example, there is a light novel writer who gained weight inexplicably, and there is a school idol who was cursed for refusing a confession.

Or a girl with low presence who suddenly gained attention that she didn’t deserve.

But now, my life is in the hands of a girl named Kasumigaoka Utaha.

It's not that a hatchet is a good boat, it's just a simple, literal meaning.

Because I was turned into a bat.

This is also the reason why I became a weird expert.

This book is also known as "No One Understands Weirdness Better Than Me", "Mr. Shijo Doesn't Want to Fight Weirdness", etc.

PS: The main stage is White Album 2 + the stranger heroine, and the background world view is provided by Kaguya-sama: Love is War + the epilogue of the Monogatari series.

PS2: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t watched the Monogatari series. It is essentially a youth love story with supernatural events.

PS3: Although I believe you have heard of "Love Cycle"_(:з」∠)_

Chapter 1: Overweight Girl and the Complaining Bat

shhh-

Utaha Kasumigaoka opened the bathroom door and went to the dressing room. She took a bath towel from the shelf and wrapped it around herself, then untied the towel tied to her hair.

Wait until your long hair is spread out behind you, then use a hair dryer to dry your hair in front of a mirror.

The moisture she felt on her fingertips had almost dissipated, so she turned off the hair dryer, unplugged it and put it back in the cabinet.

Tomorrow is the entrance ceremony for the first semester of the third grade, so I need to go to bed early.

How much... As for when I fell asleep, I don’t know.

Staying up late has become a habit for Shiyu, but in fact her sleep pattern is not that regular.

As she was thinking about these trivial matters, she was about to leave the dressing room when she caught a glimpse of the electronic scale on the wall.

"……Well……"

After thinking about the scale for a few seconds, Shiyu stretched out her foot and stepped on it.

As the second foot stepped on the weight, the numbers on the electronic screen soared at a rapid rate, and finally stopped at a little over 100KG.

"Is it still like this?" Shiyu frowned and muttered.

Then, as if unwilling to give up, she untied the bath towel and stood on the scale naked.

This time, the number on the electronic display moved back to the decimal point and stopped at exactly 100KG.

Although I was expecting that there might be an instrument failure, there was nothing wrong with the numbers.

She tested it with various items in the house, and her parents also weighed themselves routinely, and the numbers showed no error.

So it could only be her weight.

but……

Thinking of this, Shiyu turned around and looked at the mirror in the dressing room.

My body is reflected there.

The body shape has not changed, the convex parts are convex, and the concave parts are concave.

However, there was nothing wrong with the scale. Shiyu had checked it many times and was sure of it.

She looked at her naked body in the mirror, lowered her head and pinched her waist and abdomen with her hands. She could feel the flesh, but it wasn't noticeable if she put her hands down.

Waist? Bust? Hips?

Pinch different parts of the body with your hands in turn.

Where did I gain weight? But I went to the clothing store to measure my weight and it didn't change.

Shiyu was puzzled, even though she thought she didn't care much about these things.

But the unexplained extra weight of nearly 50 kg still makes people feel frustrated... and a little uneasy.

But uneasiness was just uneasiness, so she opened the door of the dressing room and went straight back to her room.

My parents have to work the night shift these days... They won't be back until the early hours of the morning, so there's no need to worry about being seen like this.

As she opened the closet to choose a nightgown, Shiyu glanced casually around the room.

The sudden appearance of a black object on the bed made her heart tremble unconsciously.

Looking closely, it looked like a bat the size of a palm.

"Where did it come from?" she asked herself, looking at the half-open window.

Kasumigaoka Utaha doesn't really hate small animals, but that's limited to things like puppies, cats, and hamsters that look relatively cute.

Bats...are somewhat of an exception.

Despite her small size, she still cares.

So he took a clothes hanger from the closet, approached carefully, and tentatively poked the little bat lying motionless on the quilt with the hanger.

If they have fainted or died, wrap them in a handkerchief and bury them in the flowerbed in the yard below the building.

"Hmm...huh?"

There seemed to be a childish voice.

Like a teenager's voice.

She thought there was someone at home, so she quickly covered her chest with her hands and looked around, then checked the living room and her parents' room.

I am the only one at home.

After making sure everything was safe, Shiyu returned to the room again and found that the bat had climbed up, supporting its body with the claws on its wings and looking at her with its eyes fixed on her.

She also looked at the little bat.

Unexpectedly, the little bat raised its paws to cover its face.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to peek!"

A clear boy's voice echoed in the room.

“…speaking…”

Shiyu was stunned. She had no time to consider the common sense that bats only emit ultrasonic waves that humans cannot hear. She blurted out words in surprise.

"Anyway, I might have scared you. If you want to talk, please wait until you put on your clothes." The little bat continued.

"It's not an illusion." Shiyu said, "Why did you fly into my room, Mr. Bat?"

"I'm not a bat."

"Still a bat that can only tell bad jokes."

"Anyway, something happened to me, so I ended up in your room."

"Hand... No, take your claws away."

The little bat took its claws away, only to see Shiyu, who was still naked, but squatting in front of him so her underwear was not exposed. So it had a speechless expression on its face.

"Excuse me, are you an exhibitionist, young lady?"

"This is my room. It's my freedom to wear clothes or not. But I want to ask you, who landed here without permission, are you a peeping Tom?"

"Don't you have any sense of shame?"

"Being seen naked by a bat is just like being seen naked by a cat or a dog. Is it different because you can talk?"

"I told you, I'm not a bat."

"Then what are you?"

"It's the human who was turned into this." The little bat hesitated for a moment.

"Your answer is quite indecisive. Actually, you are just a delusional person of the same type as Morgana."

"Unfortunately, as far as I know, there is no impression space in this world, and I was not born there."

"He even knows about games. It seems that he is Mr. Bat who has very deep contact with human society."

Its harmless body shape doesn’t make people feel creepy, but instead has a cute vibe and is very talkative.

Shiyu unknowingly forgot about her fear, and her emotions were controlled by the novelty.

"For the third time...I am not a bat."

"So... Mr. Talking Mouse?"

"Have you ever seen a mouse fly?"

"Then Mr. Flying Mammal."

"Are you ready to give up defining my category?!"

"What about Mr. Mouse who can fly?"

"It's just a combination of the first two names. There's a limit to how lazy you can be!"

"Then the vole hunter."

"Is this a nickname? Normally bats don't eat voles."

"But bats generally don't speak human language, do they? Mr. Flying Vole, the cannibalistic one."

"I'm not saying I'll eat it!"

"That... or vampire bats?"

"Okay! I'll suck your blood next!"

The little bat retorted through gritted teeth.

Shiyu felt very happy.

Not only can it talk and make comments, but it can also make expressions that are very similar to humans.

Now looking at the panting little bat, Shiyu has already started to consider whether to raise him.

"Since these names are not good, why don't you decide one for yourself?"

"Then..." The little bat said halfway, "Don't even bother deciding! I have a name!"

"Was it named by the previous owner?" Shiyu asked with a smile.

"Was your owner also the one who gave you your name?"

"What a ruthless fellow."

The little bat obviously gave up on the verbal struggle and uttered a syllable, "Ren (れん/Ren), that was my original human name."

"Lian? Which Lian?"

Shiyu stood up and turned to the desk to get paper and pen.

"I told you to put on your clothes!"

The little bat, or Lian, covered his face with his claws.

"What a bat that asks for a lot."

Shiyu then slowly picked up the nightgown that had fallen on the ground and put it on. She then took out her underwear from the closet and put it on. Finally, she wrapped a warm shawl around her body.

"Is this okay?" She stood beside the desk, facing the bed.

Lian slowly put down her claws, "Yeah."

So Shiyu wrote a few words with the same pronunciation and placed them in front of Lian, "So, what is your name?"

Lian stretched out his claws and patted the word "Lian".