It's none of my business. I'm just a lunch box seller.

It's none of my business. I'm just a lunch box seller.

Author: Li Goudan before his death

Summary:

【170 million words, completed work】

I just sell boxed lunches, not bento boxes.

What does it have to do with me whether you live or die, or whether the world is destroyed or not.

What? People died, the world was destroyed, and no one came to eat lunch?

If I can’t sell my lunch boxes, I can’t pay back my loan? If I can’t pay back my loan, will my IQ be taken away?

What are you waiting for!

We can’t go to the Three-Body System. We have to run away anyway. Can’t we just choose a good place?

The one wearing the gas mask, the Rain Country will be named Xiao from today on. I advise you to learn your lesson!

Hey old comrade whose chin is like a coconut shoe, if you dare to move your hand again, I will chop you off immediately!

What if he can't die? Immortality doesn't mean he will always be alive. Let him experience the superposition of death and immortality!

Volume 1: There is a box lunch restaurant here

0001 New store opens to the world

Just imagine, if a fist-sized meteorite fell from the sky at a speed of more than Mach 50 and hit a hapless person on the back...

Will this unfortunate guy evaporate on the spot, or explode on the spot?

……

"Boss, is it true that I can eat as much as I want here for only 120 Mora?"

The little girl floating in the air asked curiously and surprised. The blond boy next to her stood in front of the cashier, his face full of confusion and shyness.

"Mora?" The boss, who looked like an American brown bear, frowned slightly, then relaxed his brows and replied with a smile: "Before you came, it was indeed 120 Mora per serving. But that price was mislabeled, actually..."

"Look, traveler. I told you it couldn't be so cheap!" The four-headed little guy floating in the air acted very serious. "The owner of this restaurant is not a fool. How could it be possible..."

However, the shop owner did not wait for the little one to finish his words, and continued with his unfinished words: "A set of lunch boxes costs 12 Mora. Free refills, unlimited, but no waste. In addition, those who are less than 8 meters tall will be charged according to the child standard, 20 Mora per set. Thank you, both of you, a total of Mora."

"Hey!" the blond boy and the floating little thing exclaimed together.

Then, the little guy floated in front of the "brown bear" and put on a posture of teaching a younger generation, pointing at the boss: "Boss, are you doing business or charity? Aren't you afraid of losing money?"

"Pay compensation?" The boss laughed and asked, "Flying fat lady, you are all going to pay me gold coins, why should I pay compensation? Look, as the first batch of customers of this store, how about I give you an 8% discount and give you two free soda drinks? How about that?"

16 Mora, two sets of dishes come with a drink, unlimited!

This seemed like a fantasy to the blond boy and the floating little kid. This behavior of treating business as charity was simply too crazy!

but……

It was strange that on the road to Mondstadt, there shouldn't be a situation where you can't see a village in a whole day. And there was nothing related to "animal protein" except various wild fruits. After eating a large and a small fruit for two consecutive days, I didn't want to fill my stomach with fructose and plant fiber anymore.

But as the saying goes, a penny can make a hero fail, and the fledgling traveler is still far from being a "hero". When the traveler with a clean pocket encounters the problem of eating, eating a free meal becomes a very cost-effective option.

However, eating a free meal also has choices and goals!

First of all, you can't go to a restaurant with exquisite or even luxurious decoration. Because the prices of dishes in such restaurants are too high. Even if you don't get beaten to death after eating, you will have to be detained in the restaurant and wash dishes to pay off your debts for a year or so.

Secondly, you can’t go to a shop that is too old, too run-down, or too run-down. After all, they earn their money through hard work, and those who eat and dine in such a shop must have a dirty heart!

Coincidentally, at this time, a restaurant named "Old Mine School Lunch" suddenly appeared on a deserted road more than 100 kilometers away from Mond City.

The sign of this home appliance is bright and shiny, but the inside of the fast food restaurant looks old and outdated, full of traces of time. Fortunately, the restaurant as a whole is old but not dirty, the large window is clean and bright, and the nearly 200 square meters of the restaurant lobby is spotlessly clean and well organized.

So...

A sign like "Old Mine School Boxed Lunch" is very strange. It is neither luxurious nor old and shabby. From the outside, it looks like a restaurant of a certain size, which is just right for them to "take action".

Of course, the main reason was that the two were really hungry. Anyway, they had prepared a free meal, and then they would continue to eat for free while paying off their debts by washing dishes, just as a rare rest during the journey.

But who would have thought that they had enough money, but not all of it. Even though the restaurant owner gave them a 9% discount, they were still 2 moras short of the cost of the "children's meal".

"Boss, can I..." The blond boy turned out to be not mute. He finally spoke and asked hesitantly, "Can I use the ingredients to offset the meal expenses? We don't have much Mora left."

"Can you use ingredients to deduct the meal fee?" The boss squinted his eyes at the blond boy, and then glanced at the floating little guy. He answered carefully: "There is nothing wrong with using ingredients to deduct, but our store has just signed the "Anti-Discrimination Declaration on Labiaplasty" and the "Convention on Combating Illegal Trade in Labiaplasty". Therefore, our store firmly resists the evil act of using labiaplasty as ingredients, and cracks down on all criminal activities of reselling labiaplasty!"

"Hate it! Paimon is not a fat cat!" But as soon as this sentence came out, the little guy who called himself Paimon immediately corrected him: "Paimon is not an ingredient, let alone an emergency food!"

"Okay, okay, it's not fertilizer, nor is it emergency food."

In short, after paying 14 gold coins and two and a half kilograms of wild apples, one kilogram of mushrooms and two wax apples (sunset fruits), the traveler and Paimon finally got their stainless steel plates!

But when they got to the self-service area, they found the stainless steel basins on the food rack...

We can't say that there's nothing in the basin, we can only say that there's nothing in it except air.

Looking at the food bowl in front of him which was cleaner than his face, the traveler could not help but turn his head and look at the shop owner with a confused look on his face.

"I'm sorry, our store just opened for trial operation today. Excluding the lesbian customers who came to drink soda and asked me to sign the Declaration and Covenant, you are the first batch of successful paying customers of our store."

Paimon pointed at the buffet area angrily and questioned the boss: "Where are the dishes? How can you do this? No matter if the boss gives us a discount or not, we have already paid!"

"So what are you going to eat?" The boss, who was over 190cm tall, supported the low counter with one hand and said to Paimeng with a smile, "Because you are the first wave of customers of our store, I can cook something special for you! Tell me what you want to eat and I will cook it for you. There is no limit on the quantity."

Then, the traveler and Paimon had something in their hands that was rarely seen in normal boxed lunch restaurants - a menu PAD. Paimon held back his saliva and randomly ordered on the PAD. After receiving the menu, the restaurant owner pointed to the refrigerated display cabinet in the dining area and told them to get whatever they wanted.

"I'm in a good mood today, so there's no limit on the drinks." Then the boss warned them: "Minors are not allowed to drink!"

After the adult and the child drank soda for about 30 minutes, they achieved a happy life of "four dishes and one soup, leading to a well-off life".

Braised pork slices, grilled meatballs, soft fried pork tenderloin, three fresh vegetables, and a pot of blood sausage stewed with pickled cabbage and white meat. Although these dishes are not delicacies, the four fried hard dishes paired with the fragrant and chewy Komachi rice will make even the starving ghost feel full of happiness and satisfaction.

Paimon, with rice grains on his lips, raised his empty bowl and shouted, "Boss! Give me another bowl of rice!"

The blond boy resumed his muteness again, raised the empty bowl in his hand and gestured to the boss with a smile.

"Go and help yourself!" The boss pointed at the rice cooker, "Eat slowly, this pot of rice is enough for both of you..."

"boom!"

Before the boss could finish his words, the glass door of the restaurant was slammed open from the outside. Then, a white-haired burly man who was about the same height and build as the restaurant owner stumbled into the restaurant.

"Boss, the ground outside your store is a bit slippery."

However, the muddy footprints on the white-haired man's lower back betrayed him. In other words, the man was kicked in.

This was indeed the case. Just after the white-haired burly man steadied himself, a light-haired woman who looked wealthy at first glance and a man with a feminine face and eye shadow followed him into the hotel.

The three of them were all wet, looking like they had just come out of the water. The blond-haired woman was complaining something like, "Is there never a time when it doesn't rain in the Rain Country?"

This complaint naturally caught the attention of the Traveler and Paimon. After all, when they looked out of the window, let alone rain, the sunset outside had already dyed the sky as blazing as a raging fire.

"How could it rain on such a nice day?" Paimon put down the empty bowl in his hand and looked at the three people who had just entered the store in confusion: "You three are really weird, could it be that you were attacked by the Water Hill Shaman and became mentally disturbed?"

However, Paimon's teasing made the three of them feel as if they were facing a formidable enemy. They immediately took up a defensive formation, ready to resist the enemy's killing move.

"Little girl who can fly, who is your relationship to the Sandaime of the Iwagakure Village?" the white-haired burly man asked warily.

However, Paimon asked the burly man, "What is the Sandaime of the Hidden Rock Village? Is the Hidden Rock Village in Mondstadt or Liyue? Is there anything delicious there?"

The boss also hurriedly tried to smooth things over, saying, "Everyone, enjoy your meal without worries. You are probably not from the same world. Besides, are you three adults worthy of being afraid of a fat little girl?"

"Paimon is not a fat lesbian, but Paimon is indeed a cute little girl!"

The strong trio: ...

Seeing the three men put down their guard, Paimon turned around and pointed at the TV on the wall of the restaurant and asked, "Boss, Boss! Can you make the omelette rice in that magic frame, too?"

"Omurice?"

It turned out that Travel Channel was broadcasting a food documentary, and the protagonist on the screen was exactly the omelet rice that Paimon mentioned. Strictly speaking, it should be the popular lava omelet rice.

"This is very simple." The boss asked with a smile: "Would you like to try one?"

"Really?" Paimon seemed very excited when he heard his boss's answer.

"why not?"

At the same time, the three members of the battle team couldn't help but salivate when they saw the runny omelet rice overflowing with egg core the moment it was cut.

"You guys want to try Omurice, too?" the boss asked the three people. "Besides Omurice, what else do you want to eat? This is the first day of business, so we don't have any ready-made meals. You can order whatever you want, and we won't charge you anything extra."

"45 taels per person and you can eat as much as you want!" The white-haired strong man muttered quietly, "This is much more cost-effective than the Bingliang Pills!"

"It has to taste better than Bingliang Pills," the wealthy beauty emphasized.

"Come on, is there anything in the world that tastes worse than Bingliang Pills..."

The white-haired sturdy man stopped talking halfway because there was a devil food called "Super Soldier Food Pills".

The feminine handsome guy seemed uninterested in the topic of "how bad are the Bingliang pills". He changed the topic and questioned: "Don't you think it's strange? This small shop doesn't look like the style of the Rain Country at all, and it's even different from the decoration style of any other country. But looking at the newness of the furnishings in this shop, how long it has existed..."

"It has been here for 30 years!" The boss, whose hearing is beyond imagination, answered, "This is my family's private property. Before it declined, our boxed lunches were well-known far and wide. But later... Oh, it's too complicated to explain. Anyway, the store has been closed for nearly 10 years. I just bought it and it just resumed business today."

After saying that, the boss collected the meal bill of 135 taels for three people and handed over the menu.

"Choose what you want to eat. I'll make you some omelette rice first. Juice and soda are free today. As for beer, Snow Beer, Tianhu Beer, Harbin Beer, and Kings 100 Beer are free. Laoshan, Tsingtao, and Taishan Craft Beer require additional payment."

The beautiful lady chose orange soda, the feminine handsome guy picked a bottle of peach oolong, and only the white-haired strong man chose the Snow Beer "Draught" with a blue label and green bottle.

"After you finish your meal, do you have anything else to do?" The boss kindly reminded: "If you have other important things to do, don't touch that bottle of wine. The delivery guy said that this kind of wine is called 'Laoxue', it gets you drunk quickly and is very strong. It's easy to get a headache after you sober up."

But the white-haired man didn't care and said, "I am a wine expert! It's just one bottle, how could it be possible..."

However, 15 minutes later, when the boss brought four servings of lava egg rice to two tables, the sturdy man who had just called himself a "drinking hero" had already become distracted. Next to his wine glass, two empty bottles of Lao Xue were lying upright and upside down, depicting the scene of the heavy drinking that had just ended.

"It seems that the guy who delivered the beer didn't lie." The boss nodded seriously.

The sturdy man stared at the boss in amazement, then slapped the table and exclaimed happily and heroically: "Really... good wine!"

"Hey, Jiraiya!" The beautiful woman shook the strong man and asked him, "You don't have to be so exaggerated, right?"

"Why don't you open the bottle and try it, Tsunade. You'll know once you try it."

As a result, 5 minutes later, the beautiful girl named Tsunade also showed signs of distracted eyes.

"Orochimaru, why don't you have one too!" Jiraiya advised the feminine handsome guy, "Since there's nothing else to do tonight, why not treat yourself and stop looking so sullen all day long!"

"cut……"

Orochimaru pretended not to see anything and stood up from the table and walked to the empty window of the semi-open kitchen.

The boss who was cooking didn't care about others watching him working in front of the "planetary engine", and was even willing to take the initiative to chat with Orochimaru.

"This beer is really strong. No wonder the beer delivery guy called it 'Mundao Donkey'. Be careful, my friend. The beer delivery guy said that if you drink this beer too fast, it will easily turn into small bubbles or fountains."

(Author's explanation: When you sit down and spray, it will be a small flower, and when you lie down and spray, it will be a small fountain.)

Stunned donkey?

Hey!

Orochimaru looked back at the drunk Jiraiya and smiled sincerely.

"Yeah, some idiot has drunk himself to death."

"It's his fault for drinking too fast." The boss told Orochimaru: "If he drank slowly, he wouldn't get drunk so quickly."

(Author’s explanation: “Zierle” is a northern dialect, which means to drink slowly and taste.)

"Judging from the boss's accent, he is not from the Land of the Rain?" Orochimaru asked tentatively.

"Don't say I'm not from the Land of Rain. I'm not even from your world!" The boss explained nonchalantly, "Even the two kids at the other table are not from your world. It's pouring rain outside the window you see. But what they see outside the window is the red sunset."

"Haha, boss, you really know how to joke."

"No kidding! Because my little restaurant... you can think of it as being sandwiched between many different worlds. It can appear in many worlds, but it doesn't exist in these worlds." Then he turned around and asked Orochimaru, "Is it hard to understand what I said?"

"Yes." Orochimaru nodded decisively.