It's weird to apply for Witch Academy as a boy

"I also work part-time as a teacher in the psychological counseling room of the Witch Academy. In the Witch Academy, every student may feel stressed for various reasons, and at this time most of them will come to me, and I will quietly listen to what they have to say to me."

"Are you interested in coming? I see fatigue in your eyes. It's a kind of emptiness caused by long-term self-spiritual exhaustion. It seems that you are trying to fill yourself with these books?" Dina stepped forward in front of me, pressed one hand gently on the cover of the book I was holding against my chest, and asked with a smile.

"It's not good for you to do this~"

"Um... Actually, I'm fine. There shouldn't be too many problems." I forced a smile and faced Dina. That's why I just said a few words to this teacher in a hurry last time and ran away. I can't deal with a woman like this at all.

"Hmm~ Alchemy, it seems that you have chosen a development that causes hair loss the fastest." Dinah Langdon did not directly deny what I said about myself being fine, but changed the subject, "I have also met many children who have become mentally abnormal due to studying alchemy. This time I can help you with counseling for free. Just consider it as a way of thanking you in advance for the new cute little one you are about to bring to me~"

"Um…"

I held the books and nodded. I naturally knew what the new little cuties she was talking about were. She was referring to those silly dreams.

It seems that this cat witch has started to miss my little ones whose bodies have not yet been fully shaped.

But I still followed her out of the library, as if she had an inexplicable charm that took me to her other residence.

Cat psychological counseling room.

"Meow~"

When we arrived here, the cats that had gathered here suddenly dispersed and walked towards here as if to welcome their owner. They looked at me with curious eyes. I don’t know if it was an illusion, but I saw the light of wisdom in their vertical pupils. They surrounded me, rubbed their faces against my calves, and made purring sounds as if they were enjoying it very much.

"It seems they like you very much." As Dina Langdon's voice rang out, I woke up as if from a dream, and my body stiffened subconsciously... but I quickly covered up the unnatural feeling at that moment.

Although there is no evidence that this extraordinary witch used any spells or methods on me, it is very problematic that I followed her here so obediently.

But seeing the enthusiastic little cat suddenly jump into my arms and meow in front of me, I suddenly felt like my whole body and mind were healed.

"Although the college has a psychological counseling room, not many students know about it, so most of those who can find it here are lucky." Dina Langdon opened the door and led me inside.

What comes into view is a soft light green hue, and a faint sound like background music slowly rises.

But if you listen carefully, it disappears into silence. The layout inside is like the most common living room layout, giving you the illusion of being back home.

Every detail here, including the furniture, sofas, pillows, green plants, and the lazy kittens, lies quietly on the cat climbing frame. They only open their eyes slightly to see if anyone is coming when I pass by.

"Okay, now that you're here, sit down and relax. It's time for you to rest." Dina came behind me, put her hands on my shoulders, and gently pressed me against the sofa. The soft sofa made me sink into it.

"Now...you are my guest, the most special guest, so relax."

"Yeah." I agreed softly, holding the cat that jumped into my arms at the beginning, and carefully stroking its fur, over and over again...

"Okay~ Xiaohan, have you heard of meditation?"

"Meditation? Which kind?" I asked curiously. After all, I have been exposed to quite a lot of meditation now, including the meditation to nourish mental strength before entering school, the witch meditation method I learned when I entered school, and the meditation method with the help of the spell book effect from the dean.

"It's just the most common meditation, the kind where you close your eyes and calm your mind. Have you ever tried it?" Dina asked with a smile.

"No..." I shook my head, indicating that I had never done so, because there was no point in doing so. It could not improve my mental strength, nor could it bring about other improvements.

"Your eyes tell me that you really don't, because... it's not worth it, right? I see your disdain for this most primitive act of meditation."

"That's normal. It's really normal because it can't bring you any visible improvement, right? But... this just reflects your impatient nature. Any effort will be rewarded. The mistake is never the effort itself, but the personal choice. Let me lead you to experience the most primitive meditation~"

Dinah Langdon came up behind me and then put her hands over my eyes.

"Since you don't resist, then I'll take it as my tacit consent that you will cooperate with me."

"Now...close your eyes, breathe calmly, empty your mind, inhale~"

As Dina spoke, he subconsciously followed her instructions, his chest rising and falling, and it was as if time had slowed down.

"Your breathing is still a little disordered. Now I will teach you some experience in meditation. The first step is breathing."

“Do you find it unimportant? The act of breathing is just the act of exchanging air between your lungs, but it actually reflects your own condition.”

"Adjust your breathing. The real purpose of this behavior is to allow yourself to confirm the existence of your true self."

"Just like when you are nervous, you will subconsciously take a deep breath, but deep breathing cannot eliminate the emotion of nervousness, and you don't need to eliminate this emotion, because your consciousness, that is, your essence, is above emotions such as nervousness and impatience. Feeling your breathing will make you gradually understand this. Don't let your emotions control you, but you control your emotions..."

Under the guidance of Witch Dinah, I seemed to have entered a completely new spiritual realm, different from the selflessness of the initial meditation, nor like the practice of advanced meditation, but a higher level of sublimation...

This is a feeling I have never experienced before, the feeling of being free from all worries and being completely in control of myself, a feeling that is indescribable, until... there is a crisp snap of fingers.

Snapped!

"Ok?"

I woke up suddenly and consciously wanted to relive that feeling again, but everything was like waking up from a dream and there was no turning back. I subconsciously stroked the cat in my arms, but found that I had nothing in my hands.

"You're awake now. How do you feel? This kind of induced spiritual meditation is usually most effective the first time. From your appearance, you seem to be recalling the past."

"No." I shook my head to deny this statement. I don't deny that the state is really wonderful, but I can't always be immersed in that state.

"He's a stubborn child." Witch Dinah smiled and shook her head, as if she had seen this kind of situation many times. "Can you tell me your past story? You must have been a child who lacked love..."

"..." I pretended not to hear the request made by Witch Dinah. I don't like to talk about the past with others like this. The night of the exchange competition was a special night. I clearly said that I had said goodbye to the past.

"Don't you want to say it? Your thoughts are written all over your face. No one... can truly say goodbye to the past. I'm not saying whether saying goodbye to the past is right or wrong, but I'm stating the facts. No one can do this. The remaining choices are obvious. Facing it is the only thing you can do. Just don't deceive yourself."

"Self-deception..."

"Yes... The essence of self-deception is actually your own meaningless mental exhaustion. The more you don't want to care, the more you care."

"You must have been a very obedient child in the past, right? People praise you for being precocious and sensible, but you know very well that your heart is suppressing loss and trauma. Most of your energy is used to take care of your own emotions, which is the root of your internal friction..."

I lay quietly without saying a word, letting Witch Dinah speak. Was she right?

Half right, that was myself in my previous life. At this moment in my second life, I am experiencing it again. I see it more clearly than anyone else, but Dina is right, I am just deceiving myself.

It has become a habit for me to use my energy to soothe my inner self, and it is even taken for granted, so I will not express it, nor do I want to express it...

"You always think too complicatedly. Your eyes have already given the answer to the other person's first sentence. The impatience in your eyes before the words are even spoken is the best proof, because you know that this will be a meaningless conversation."

"But dialogue and communication are part of the meaning. Speaking is no longer a simple acquisition and exchange of information, but also a process of promoting relationships and feelings. It is an art of communication. It is sad that you have lost the ability to appreciate the beauty of this art."

"After saying so much, I don't expect you to change all at once, or even... you don't have to change. It is precisely because everyone has different experiences and thoughts that there are different ways of speaking and the collisions between communication, whether it is pleasure, embarrassment, joy, or anger. When you can control your emotions, these natural emotions will become the seasoning for you to enjoy the conversation. Otherwise, you are just a slave controlled by emotions."

"Haha~ It seems that I have been talking to myself. I can see that you have listened to me. I have to say that you really know a lot. You are the person with the clearest mind I have ever seen, but the most confused life... It is difficult to imagine what kind of evolution the outside society has experienced to give birth to someone like you. It seems that I need to take a long vacation to experience life in the outside world and feel the changes in the outside world." Witch Dina smiled and shook her head and said to me.

"Maybe I'm just an exception?" I stood up and said.

"That only shows that your experience is very special and worth recalling. When you read your past as if it were a story, you won't be so tired. I'll tell you this first. When you truly understand it, I hope my words can still echo in your ears, proving that what I said was not in vain."

“Thank you. I now understand what a closed loop of education is.”

"That's why I said you know too much. You know what? As a psychologist, what we fear most is meeting someone like you. It makes us feel powerless and we don't know where to start." She shook her head and said with a smile.

"So it was a mistake for you to trick me into coming here."

"The word 'cheat' is so ugly~ I'm just curious about you, and I didn't say it's wrong~" Dina changed her previous gentleness, and this change was as smooth as a cat, "Then... let's change the subject~ Those stupid dreams, I heard from the dean that you plan to turn their bodies into kitten girls, right? The finished product made by the dean, I think it must be worth rua."

"That might be too early..."

"Really? I'm already looking forward to their innocent appearance at the Witch Cat Cafe. Can you give me a specific time?"

"I'm afraid that's not possible, but... Teacher Dina, as an extraordinary witch, did you go to so much trouble to bring me here just to ask when Yu Meng will arrive?"

"Of course~ I expressed my desire when we first met. I'm only interested in the cat girl Yumeng. What bad intentions can a cat have? The cat just wants to know when the new partner will come."

"Really?" I just didn't believe it. From the beginning, Witch Dina gave me a gentle but dangerous feeling, just like when I first met Teacher Ji Niang.

But time will give me the answer, I just need to wait slowly.

"Of course it's true~ But guiding confused children along the way is also something I really like to do. I can see the most primitive desire and persistence for something in your eyes. It's a pity that you are working in the wrong direction. When you don't know what to do, it's best to put everything aside and start looking for the answer from yourself~"

Chapter 290 Growth in Two Lives and Growth in One Moment

“Looking for the answer from within yourself…”

After leaving the psychological counseling room, I subconsciously looked back. The feeling was different from when I first came in, but the cats were gone, as if they had never existed.

Maybe those kittens were just illusions, but the feeling of caressing them at that time was very real.

If I put aside other things and just met Witch Dina for the first time here, I would think she would be a very good, gentle and understanding psychologist, but I was deceived by her, which reminded me of Teacher Ji Niang.

When I first met Teacher Ji Niang, it also brought me a lot of pressure. I was afraid of her ulterior motives, afraid of her covetousness, or afraid of the unknown. But after getting to know Teacher Ji Niang, I found that even a witch who claimed to be extraordinary seemed... to be the same as ordinary people, with her own emotions, her own thoughts and her own pursuits.

Is the same true for this witch Dinah?

Her eyes that seemed to be able to see through many things about me seemed even more terrifying than my clairvoyance. Even though I could see through the real world with my clairvoyance, Witch Dinah's eyes seemed to be able to see through people's hearts. No one liked to have their secrets exposed to the eyes of others.

So... Dina doesn't seem to be very qualified as a psychologist. At least she makes me feel distant from her, and there is also information gap. She seems to know a lot about me, but I don't know her. She is like a black cat, sitting quietly and carrying a bit of mystery.

All I know is that she loves cats, is the boss behind the Witch Cat Cafe, and is a psychologist who doesn’t work often. So what?

She is just like an ordinary person, or... a cat, observing people's emotions.

She treats emotions as condiments, savoring them carefully and enjoying them.

But I treat emotions like the tides, I stand in awe and watch them rise and fall.

Actually, I have already shown it clearly, right? I get nervous when facing other people's enthusiasm, and I watch coldly when facing other people's anger, or even smile at them. I am not an expresser, but just a bystander, a fool who can't turn his thoughts into words and shout them out, and a coward who can only turn grievances into sharp blades to stab himself.

Witch Dinah was right. I couldn't say goodbye to the past. I came to a new environment, which seemed to be a new beginning, but it was like giving a poor person trillions of wealth. He wouldn't spend it.

I came to Witch Academy, but ended up living like this.

Think about what I expected myself to become at that time?

A cute girl who can act like a spoiled child... a girl who can talk freely and has no worries... will have many friends...

But now I still live like before. I don’t act like a spoiled child, nor do I dare to talk freely. I have not become a girl without worries, and I still have no friends!

Maybe in my previous life I could say: Sorry, I lived like a dog the first time I was born as a human being, but I have been born as a human being the second time and it is still the same, so this is my problem.

So Dina gave this answer...Look for the answer within herself.

Have my two tragic lives taught me anything?

I have read countless chicken soups and understand that most of the children with psychological problems have problems in their family and environment, and it seems to be the same for me.

But I also understand what a strong person is. The will of a strong person will not become decadent due to changes in the environment or hardships, so I understand that my family’s misfortune is not a reason for me not to become a strong person.

I will subconsciously put myself in the role of a strong person, but maybe I have never been a strong person from the beginning?

Or is it that no one is strong at the beginning?

It is said that environment shapes heroes. A person's life is like a parabola, with a starting point, a highest point, and an end point.

People do not have the option of turning back. When they can turn back, it is probably when they have entered old age and are powerless to change the situation.

Perhaps this is a fact that only a supernatural witch with an eternal life can see through.

They can experience the life of an ordinary person countless times, constantly reflecting and summarizing, so they will see through many things, as long as they live long enough.

My mind is filled with these chicken soups, and now I feel their toxicity.

They will impose their views on me and make me willing to believe them.

But they don’t explain the facts to me or lead me to think about why this is the case.

So...thinking is really important.

Thinking is not simply to deny those viewpoints, but to think about why such viewpoints are put forward, and then summarize the answers you want.

I want to know what a strong person is. Is it someone who can endure the hardships of the environment without changing, or someone who is shaped into a strong person by the environment? What will we come to when these two views collide?

The strong will always be strong, and suffering will only make the strong stronger?

No, suffering is just suffering. Strength is inner strength. Suffering only shows others a person with a strong heart. This has no meaning for the strong person.

Therefore, the strong do not like and do not expect others' evaluation and comments.

Therefore, those who pursue the ideas of others and hope that others will recognize that they are strong are completely putting the cart before the horse. On the contrary, it is the extreme lack of self-confidence in their hearts that will lead to this state.

Even if these two people have exactly the same strength, the stronger one will only be the former and not the latter.

Sometimes, thinking it through is one thing, but doing it is another.

Think about... and do..., integrate knowledge and action.

This seems to be a very obvious truth.

For some reason, I thought of what the dean told me, that the magic of unity of knowledge and action is not as simple as it seems.

How is it not simple?

I don't know, but I'll try.

I have always believed that what the dean meant by "not simple" was the derivative effect of the spell book of the unity of knowledge and action, but now it seems that is not the case.

My use of the magic of unity of knowledge and action mostly involves concentration of mental power and verbal suggestion.