You don't even want to call me godfather

"...Okay, okay, just slowly change your tone and don't act like I'm bullying you."

Little Sarita tilted her head helplessly, and she touched the girl's hair and comforted her.

“Hehehe, Sister Sarita is the best!” The girl scratched her cheek. She seemed to have suddenly thought of something and raised the picture book in her hand. “Look, look, this is the picture book I asked my mother and grandmother for. Sister Sarita, come with me to the riverside behind to paint!”

"You," Little Sarita smiled, and the movement of rubbing the girl's hair became a little bigger, "First of all, I'm not good at drawing. If I draw something messy, don't laugh at me."

"Oh no, no, hurry up, if it's any later it will be dark and you won't be able to see anything clearly!"

The girl eagerly took Iris's hand and walked towards the door, leaving the room.

Iris was the only one left standing in the room. She had witnessed everything that had just happened. Her younger self and the girl were just like the cat, oblivious to her existence.

Looking at the two girls walking away hand in hand, she pursed her lips and a hint of worry flashed in her eyes.

She was very sober and knew that everything before her was just a fact of the past, and what she saw was just a dream.

The girl who was particularly close to little Sarita was her best friend during the years she was in the orphanage. Even her habit of sitting by the river to paint was due to this girl always pulling her along.

"Meow-"

The sound of a cat's meow interrupted Iris's memories. She turned around and found that the orange cat that was on the windowsill just now had jumped outside. It walked slowly to a tree, nestled in the shade, and continued to take a comfortably nap.

Iris shook her head, shaking those long gone memories out of her mind, then she sighed deeply and walked out of the room.

The layout of the welfare home was exactly the same as she remembered, the rooms on both sides of the corridor, the graffiti on the walls, everything in front of her was as if the government's extermination of the family had never happened.

The young girl and the children who regarded her as their sister lived an ordinary but happy life, with no one disturbing or disrupting this peace.

"Hurry up, it's too late!"

Iris stood in the middle of the hallway as several children ran past her.

They did not walk in the middle of the road, but deliberately walked around Iris, which made Iris doubt whether these children could see her.

But what difference does it make whether she can or not? She has always forgotten the past, treating the injustices she experienced in the past as a dream.

So, what does it matter if I have one more dream?

"Don't sleep! Today is Lisa's birthday, you must not be absent!"

At this moment, another voice reached Iris's ears.

Lisa?

Iris was stunned for a moment, and while she was stunned, a child pulled another sleepy child out of the room and rushed downstairs.

She hesitated for a moment, then decided to follow their steps and go downstairs.

The children did not stay in the hall. They ran straight to the library. Iris followed them into this place that she was very familiar with.

Along with the smell of books came the noise of children. The moment she stepped into the library, the lights went out.

Next, a few candles on the cake on the desk in the middle of the library lit up.

The candlelight illuminated the faces of the children around. They were singing the birthday song in unison, blessing the protagonist of today's birthday party, Lisa.

Lisa was surrounded by other children. She looked obviously at a loss. After all, she didn't even know when her birthday was, but the children in the orphanage set the day she first arrived at the orphanage as her birthday.

After a song, the lights in the library came back on and the children surrounded Lisa enthusiastically. Under their gaze, Lisa took a plastic knife and cut the ridiculously large cake.

Even Iris couldn't help but smile in this situation. She certainly remembered Lisa's birthday. At that time, her relationship with Lisa had not yet developed to the point where they depended on each other as they did later. But the change happened when...

Thinking of this, the smile on Iris's face suddenly froze, her pupils suddenly shrank, and her hands couldn't help but reach deep into her clothes and grasp the two daggers.

The day the government wiped out the welfare home was Lisa's birthday.

Goosebumps ran up Iris's back. She widened her eyes and turned her head stiffly to look at the entrance of the orphanage.

The street lights outside were dim. At this time of day, the night lights should be on, but now it was abnormally dark.

Iris swallowed, took two steps back, turned her toes, and walked towards the door.

The welfare home, which used to be warm and cozy, now looked so gloomy that people couldn't help but start to imagine. Iris was highly concentrated, her eyes almost went through the door and the wall. As she took a step forward, she slowly drew out the dagger and held it in her hand.

She stopped in front of the door.

The dead silence outside the door formed a sharp contrast with the laughter of children in the library behind.

Iris saw it. She saw the government officials standing across the street not far away, the people she called "men in black" back then, the murderers who ruthlessly strangled the children.

They stood there, they just stood there, the guns in their hands reflected the cold light under the moonlight, and they were the weapons that would snuff out the lives of the children in the near future.

At this moment, Iris even felt that she had difficulty breathing, as if something was strangling her throat. Even though she had grown into an indispensable part of the Cascade family, these people who had left an indelible psychological shadow on her during her childhood still made her feel chilling and creepy.

However, behind her were those children, the children whom she had been unable to protect back then. No matter how scared she was or how violently her hands were shaking, she could not retreat at this moment.

She needed to protect them, she had to protect them, even if all this was a false memory, she couldn't become a shirker again.

"is it hard?"

A voice sounded in Iris's head, identical to her own voice, but with a slightly different feel.

"Don't you want to face it? Or are you afraid to face it?"

The voice in her head seemed to be urging her on, goading her, trying to sway her with provocation, but Iris just stood there, her hand gripping the dagger getting tighter and tighter.

"……Do you need help?"

As if she had finally heard the question she wanted, Iris took a few deep breaths, almost as if she was relieved.

The voice in her head is herself, but also the questions asked to her by another "her".

Iris narrowed her deep purple eyes, and she took one last look at the "black clothes" who were already walking towards her, then closed her eyes.

After a moment, she opened her eyes again, and the deep purple in her eyes turned into a dull gold like a chrysanthemum, and her expression changed from uneasiness to pity.

That was the mercy shown to those "in black".

……

It didn't take long before all the "men in black" fell in a pool of blood.

Iris knelt in the bloodstains on the ground, the dark gold in her eyes flickered a few times, and finally turned back into dark purple.

With her own strength, she prevented the tragedy of that night. The battle was so long that even the sky had turned pale and the sun was shining on the earth again.

Iris closed her eyes and felt the faint warmth brought by the sun. This feeling was like having a good dream.

But the dream disappeared in an instant. She knew and remembered clearly that the real ending was that she was alone, standing in the bright red library, holding Lisa and the picture book tightly in her arms.

At that time, she didn't understand those complicated things, didn't understand why people were calculating against each other, and didn't understand why her mother left.

But even when faced with something that she herself didn't know what to do, she still comforted Lisa and told her that everything would be fine.

While feeling lost, I mustered up my courage on my own.

Now that she has grown up and matured, she has long since relaxed her attitude towards the past, but she still doesn't understand one thing.

Why do all good things always fail to have a good ending?

The morning light blurred the picture, and the elegy bid farewell to her wish. She opened her eyes, stood up, smiled with blood all over her body, and looked back at the welfare home.

A silent stroke, soft and holy.

Chapter 91: Speechless

"You came."

In the secret room, Adam turned around and looked at Koshei.

"Click."

Almost at the moment he finished speaking, Koshe had already raised his gun, pointed it at him, and pulled down the hammer.

"who are you?"

Koshe had seen too many bizarre things during his trip to Lateran, whether it was Clowell who was inexplicably trying to kill him, or being reborn after death.

But the man in front of him, who looked almost exactly like him, refreshed his cognition again.

"Who am I?" Adam was not surprised by Koshe's action of drawing his gun. Or rather, he expected this situation. He raised his head slightly and looked at Koshe. "You know this question very well in your heart, Koshe, you are not slow."

As Adam finished his words, he began to walk slowly towards Koshei.

"I don't understand what you mean." Looking at Adam walking towards him, Koshe stepped aside and kept the same distance from Adam. He also noticed the disappearance of Iris. "Where is Iris? What did you do to her?"

"Personally, I think it's better not to let her see our meeting. After all, you don't even understand the current situation, right?" Seeing that Koshe was deliberately keeping a safe distance from him, Adam simply stopped and said, "Adam, this is my name in Lateran. You should have heard it from those fallen angels. If you can calm down, I will explain everything to you. Of course, it all depends on your own wishes."

Adam stretched out his hand, spread his palm, pointed to the sofa next to Koshei, and motioned for him to sit down.

Koshe was silent for a moment, constantly looking at Adam. Adam looked much older than Koshe, and the burn mark on his face reminded Koshe of Clowell, who also had a similar wound on his face.

'Can I trust him, Msisha?'

After only a few brief exchanges, Koshe was still unable to determine the pros and cons of the current situation and had to ask Msisha.

"If you can't even trust yourself, who else can you trust, Koshe?" And Msisha's answer made him feel even more complicated. "But even if you can't make a subjective judgment, don't worry about anything. Don't forget that you can use my power now."

Msisha's meaning was obvious. He had the hounds and the cubs as trump cards, so he didn't have to worry about whether Adam's intentions were against him.

At worst, we'll just fall out.

"So, can you give me a chance to explain it to you now, Koshe?"

Seeing that Koshe chose to sit down after a long silence, Adam also sat on the sofa opposite him.

The two of them stared at each other in silence across a coffee table.

It’s a wonderful feeling, looking into the eyes of my future self and my past self and having a conversation across time.

But it was obvious that the atmosphere of this conversation did not seem very friendly. At least the muzzle of the gun in Koshe's hand never left Adam.

"Cha-"

Before starting the conversation, Adam picked up the cigarette box on the coffee table and took out two cigarettes.

He struck a match, lit his own cigarette, and handed the other to Koshei.

Koshe hesitated for a moment and chose to take it. Adam also leaned forward and helped him light the cigarette before the match burned out.

"call--"

Both of them took a deep puff of the cigarette, and after the smoke remained in their lungs for a few seconds, they exhaled together, their movements exactly the same.

"Koshei, let me ask you, do you believe in... a closed loop of time and space?"

Adam asked after a moment.

He held out a hand to Koshei, palm up, as if hoping he would take it.

"If you want to believe, just hold my hand and I will let you see with your own eyes what I have been through."

The familiar yet unfamiliar expression on Adam's face made Koshe hesitate for a moment.

Looking at the weathered lines on Adam's palm, he paused, and finally held his hand.

……

In the dream, Iris was standing outside the orphanage, her face bathed in sunlight, so calm that no emotion could be seen.

Rustling sounds began to be heard from the welfare home behind me, and some children who had woken up early began to move around in the home.

This sense of distance across time made Iris feel somewhat uncomfortable. She tried again and again to avoid the haze spreading from her memories, but in the end, only her own remains were left behind.

"Da, da, da, da."

Just as she was immersed in unforgettable grief, the sound of horse hooves suddenly reached her ears.

Iris looked in the direction of the sound, and her vision, which had been blurred by the blood, suddenly became clear.

"iris."

It was that familiar figure, Koshe, looking into her eyes.

At this moment, relief appeared in her eyes, but her smile made people feel heartbroken.

But the next moment, Iris' smile froze. She saw Koshe's lips move slightly, as if he said something. Then he raised the gun and pointed it at his head.

"boom!"

"ha--!!"

In reality, Iris suddenly opened her eyes and took a deep breath.

Her eyes widened and her breathing became rapid, as if the scene of Koshe's suicide was still replaying before her eyes.