You don't even want to call me godfather

"woke up?"

Cecia stood beside her, watching her, seemingly unsurprised by her reaction.

Iris did not answer. The scene just now was quite shocking to her and she had not yet recovered.

"Go out," Cecia turned her head to look outside the small room, as if she had sensed something, "I think it's almost time."

Iris paused for a moment, looked at Cecia in confusion, then stood up and walked out of the small room.

At this time, Koshei just walked out of the secret room. The two of them pulled aside the curtain almost at the same time and noticed each other.

Not only Iris, but also Koshei looked a little lost at this moment. Iris didn't know what he had just done, let alone his meeting with Adam.

The two looked at each other and fell silent.

"Here, this is the only kind of tea here. If you're not used to it, you can go buy it from the store across the street."

When Iris came to her senses again, she was holding a cup of hot tea in her hands.

She looked up and saw that Cecia had returned to the chair where she had been sitting, stretched out her arms and lay down again, as if the existence of Koshe and the irises had nothing to do with her.

Koshe was also holding a cup of tea. He swirled the tea in the cup, his eyes were a little dazed, and he seemed a little absent-minded.

Iris sat opposite him. She looked at him with her lips slightly parted, as if she wanted to say something but hesitated.

"Koshe..." After a long silence, she took the initiative to bring up the topic, "I...had a dream."

Chapter 92: For Whom

"I saw you riding a black horse in the wilderness, and then you said goodbye, and then there was a gunshot." Iris looked at the door and the photos on the door, looking a little absent-minded. "I heard you pull the trigger, Koshei, leaving me and everyone behind, and leaving without saying goodbye."

Koshe listened to Iris's description of the dream, his lips slightly parted, not knowing what to say.

Even he himself didn't know whether this kind of thing would really happen. After a long while, he just silently lit a cigarette for himself.

"...You know, Iris, ever since my father passed away, I thought I could just keep moving forward, keeping that damn rhythm, left, right, left, right, left, and never have to stop. Then Destiny left, and I was completely broken." Koshe shook his head, his hand holding the cigarette swinging left and right at a loss. He pursed his lips, "But sometimes, a man needs to persevere, to protect those who need protection, and the people I love. We both agree that life after that is earned, and we will all remember this when our time comes."

Outside the store, the rain gradually stopped, and a cool white mist rose up. The mist was just like Koshe's heart. Even the iris could not guess the intention behind his words.

The heavy and complex society depicts a fleeting brilliance like a shooting star, which is regrettable.

"What kind of existence am I in your eyes, Koshe?" Iris asked after a moment of silence, her eyes focused on Koshe's hand, watching the smoke rising from his cigarette butt. "After Destiny left, I took her place, both as a wolf hunter and as your deputy. But every time you look at me, your eyes reveal nostalgia and a special feeling. I just can't figure out what... I am. Am I Destiny's replacement, or a substitute for Angela you mentioned?"

"I have never regarded you as a substitute for anyone, Iris," Kosh paused. He knew how his abnormal behavior made Iris feel. "The matter between Destiny and Angelina is my own problem, but you are a great friend."

"But... no matter what I do, I can't seem to be able to fully take on Destiny's original position." Iris intertwined her fingers, just like her current mood, full of contradictions. "I'm not like Destiny. I have been by your side since childhood, and I don't know you as well as she does. Even if there are things I can't understand, I can only choose to trust you unconditionally."

"You don't need to keep thinking about how to win over others, Iris. This idea is stupid. You are you, and you naturally have your own advantages." Koshe narrowed his eyes and raised the corners of his mouth. "It's good as it is now. Your loyalty to the family is the fundamental reason why I trust you."

Iris picked up the teacup and tried to cover up her restless emotions by drinking tea.

Although Koshe always likes to attribute everything to family, the emotions Koshe revealed during the time they spent together were not just about family.

It's just a man who suddenly lost everything and a woman who has been forced to get used to losing, relying on each other.

"Actually... there are some things I want to confess to you." After a moment, Iris put down the teacup, raised her head, and looked directly into Koshe's eyes. "About my life experience... I have thought about it for a long time, and hesitated whether to tell you."

"For example, you are a Gaul?"

"Eh?"

Unexpectedly, Koshe calmly said what Iris wanted to say first.

"If... Iris had not become a victim and had grown up smoothly, you would have achieved great things with your ability. I often think so." Koshe's brows gradually frowned, as if he was conflicted by his own thoughts. "A well-known scholar, politician, or perhaps an excellent musician, a female pianist, Gaul... When I found your hometown, the clue was gone. It's not difficult to guess that your mother must have erased your past. Even I can't find out clearly."

"Why……"

Iris was a little bit unbelievable at Koshe's answer, and her eyes were evasive.

"I have always wondered why a Gaul would come to live in Syracuse. It was not until the Knight of the Four Nations mentioned the Battle of the Four Nations that I suddenly realized this. You are not the only one whose lifestyle is limited, Iris," Koshe laughed softly, looking a little helpless. "As long as we live in this world, we will be chased by certain things. We are all just people bound by the past."

Iris was silent. When the Knight of the Rings was talking to Koshe about the Battle of the Four Kingdoms and the fall of Gaul, she was so preoccupied with her own pain that she didn't even think about why Koshe would care so much about this matter.

But now it seems that she herself is too easily affected by emotions. At least in this respect, she is far inferior to Koshe.

"I remember my father once told me not to name small animals casually, because you don't know when you will lose it, and it will make you very sad, he said," Iris took a deep breath, the lights in the store made it difficult for her to open her eyes, she sighed and said with emotion, "I have wanted to put all these things behind me countless times, and even wanted to live like an ordinary person, and finally write on my tombstone, an ordinary person, but the world is so unpredictable, even in Syracuse, I still can't escape the fate of losing the people around me."

"Everything we have suffered so far is only because of our birth, Iris, because of our nature, because of our background. These are a pair of hands that belong to the devil. From the moment the baby opened his mouth to breathe, it belonged to the devil. Perhaps in our bodies, in our blood, there is wildness in our blood, like an earthquake in the water, which is out of control." Koshe lowered his head and looked at his hands. "We all live in a place between life and death, waiting to move forward. Those who guided us in life just left. Witnessing so many deaths, in the end, we will accept it all. We will shake hands with the devil and walk past them."

"Devil?" Iris frowned slightly. She more or less noticed something unusual in Koshe's words, and then she realized, "You mean... the military commander?"

Koshe didn't answer. He shook his head and said, "I will solve the matter of Clowell. It's just an insignificant misunderstanding. Don't worry."

"Is this so..."

As always, Iris did not ask any further questions. She believed in Koshe, just as Koshe believed in her.

From the day they first met, she had an extra guide, an extra expectation that had nothing to do with resignation, and was less confused and at a loss when faced with setbacks.

But this time it was different. Iris closed her eyes, and in the dark vision, the figure seemed to stand in front of her again. It was Koshe who pulled her out of the abyss, gave her salvation, and told her that she was not unwanted.

The past has become the wind, but her original intention has not changed. She has been waiting at the starting point, waiting for someone to run with her and look up to her.

Koshe had undoubtedly shone her light during her lowest period, and now it was her turn to respond to him with her own light.

No birth deserves unconditional care and acceptance, she just... doesn't want to be a burden to anyone.

"Come to think of it, didn't you promise Hong that you would bring her a gift when you return to Syracuse?" Suddenly, Iris stood up, and before Koshe could react to her thoughts, she took the initiative to say, "I heard from Hong that the child is looking forward to your gift."

"Why did you suddenly think of this?"

Koshe put out his cigarette and stood up. Although he asked this question, his body movements proved that he intended to go choose a gift with Iris.

"Well... after all, we are leaving Rutland soon. We need to finish everything before we leave, right?"

Iris's reason was irrefutable, but it made Koshei feel a little uncomfortable, like she was hiding something.

"Yeah, that's right," but after a brief thought, Koshe agreed. He followed Iris to the door, raised his head, and looked at the sky that was beginning to darken. "The rain seems to have stopped, so let's go."

"…Did you get your cigarette, Koshe?"

Just when Koshe was about to step out, Iris suddenly reminded him.

"Hmm...wait for me a moment."

Koshe touched his pocket, looked back into the store, and indeed he had forgotten his cigarette box and lighter on the table. He then turned around and walked back into the store.

Looking at his back, an imperceptible look flashed in Iris's eyes. As she turned around, her figure immediately became blurred and finally disappeared completely.

Koshe came to the table, picked up the cigarette box and was about to put it in his pocket.

But his movements slowed down for a few seconds, as if he sensed something. Even Cecilia, who was dozing off, opened her eyes slightly, as if she also sensed something was wrong.

At that moment, the sound of Iris' heartbeat suddenly stopped in his perception, or disappeared.

Koshe turned around suddenly and ran to the door with all his strength, holding onto the door frame and breathing heavily nervously.

Looking at the empty doorway and street, Koshe couldn't help but tighten his hands on the door frame, even causing it to deform a little.

"iris……"

Just a dozen meters away from Koshe, Iris, who was in a hidden state, leaned against the outer wall, raised her head, and took a deep breath.

Then, she headed back in the direction they came from without hesitation.

Her footsteps created ripples in the puddles on the ground.

Chapter 93: To no avail

"How's your injury, Charlie?"

Outside the church, Clowell leaned against the church door with a cigarette between his fingers. He turned his head and looked at Charlie who took off his helmet and asked.

"Ah, it's much better now." Charlie tilted his head slightly, revealing a few scars on his neck that had just scabbed over, and said with some helplessness in his tone, "You know, Clowell, this kind of thing happens all the time."

"Let's find a psychiatrist to help you with your treatment someday." Clowell only glanced at his injury, then looked away, raised his hand, and took a short puff of his cigarette. "Believe in science more. After all, God doesn't have time to cure your shell shock."

"People must have faith in life. This is what you said to me when we were still on the battlefield in Ursus, isn't it?" Charlie pinched the collar of his armor, twisted his neck, and then stared at Clowell's profile. "Those demon-like inner guards, when we were trapped in the black fog, even though our trachea was stung by the cold air and our armor was corroded by the falling black snow, it was your words that gave everyone hope. But now... why have you lost your faith, Clowell?"

"We have discussed this topic many times. You clearly know the reason, Charlie." Clowell frowned, as if forcing himself to calm down. "But you, what did you see in the place that the Ursus people call 'the country'? What did those inner guards do to you?"

"That kind of thing, I can't describe it in words..."

Charlie was silent, and Clowell's fingers holding the cigarette kept tightening. He knew Charlie was hiding something from him, but he couldn't force Charlie to say it.

In the end, he just threw away the cigarette that had been pinched and deformed and sighed deeply.

"Here, take a few pills at a scheduled time later."

Crowell pulled a tablet of pills from the inside pocket of his coat and handed it to Charlie.

"Hmm?" Charlie was stunned for a moment. Out of trust in Clowell, he took the medicine, broke a pill, swallowed it with saliva, and then asked, "What is this?"

"You should have asked before you took it," Clowell deliberately put on a serious expression, and then he couldn't help but sneer at Charlie's increasingly uneasy look, "Don't worry, it's just some antibiotics. You don't even know what will hurt you during a shell shock attack, so it's better to always have some antibiotics on hand."

"I see……"

Charlie is not actually a serious person. As a Lateran, the Sakota race is mostly optimistic. He is just not good at speaking and is not very cheerful.

"Okay, it's almost time, the rain has stopped, it's time to start preparing," Clowell stamped out the cigarette butt under his feet, wiped his hands on his clothes, and looked up at the sky, "You should think about it carefully, Charlie, I believe you won't let me down."

Charlie stuffed the medicine into the gap between the armor and the clothes. He did not answer. Clowell's plan against Koshe still made him hesitate, but he also knew that he had no right to resist.

No matter how good the relationship is, there is no room for negotiation on such matters, especially with someone like Clowell.

"Don't be so stern, Charlie. When this is over, let's go to your favorite dessert shop and enjoy a good meal. It's my treat."

Seeing that Charlie was unmoved, Clowell patted him on the shoulder for the last time and left in one direction.

"I just...can't understand why you are so persistent, Clowell."

Looking at Clowell's departing back, Charlie pursed his lips and raised his question in a voice that only he could hear, talking to himself.

"I'm not the type who can survive with intelligence. Everything I've experienced and endured over the years is just for today. No matter what the result is, I have to do this. This is my way of survival, Charlie."

Similarly, Clowell, who was walking away alone, felt Charlie's gaze behind him. He was of course aware of Charlie's suspicion and confusion about him, but he had no choice.

His expression was gloomy, he walked slowly, and clenched his fists.

"That being said, if we really want to do this, then we have to uh-"

When Clowell's figure faded from Charlie's sight, Charlie shook his head helplessly and prepared to put on his helmet again.

But just as he picked up the helmet tucked under his arm, the puddle on the ground behind him rippled, and then something he couldn't see suddenly tightened around his neck and covered his mouth.

……

Crowell walked down the street, walking slowly, observing the streets he passed through and planning in his mind how to use the terrain.

He was not sure that he could definitely deal with Koshei. He did not have much time, and if he mobilized a large number of manpower privately, the Pope would soon find out. He had to, and could only, end it tonight before the Pope showed up in person.

Thinking of this, Clowell suddenly stopped.

On the road in front of him stood a man of special status, a man known to everyone in Lateran.

"Long time no see, Commander Klovair."

The man put one hand in his pocket and held a strange staff in the other hand, walking towards him leisurely.

Finally, she stopped only a few meters away from him, slightly raised her head, not realizing her own overstepping behavior.

"Mastema?"

Clovel frowned. He didn't know that Mostima had returned to Lateran. Logically, the registrar at the entry point should have reported this to him.

"The person in charge of registration is my old classmate, so I came in like this." Mostima smiled as if she could see through Clowell's thoughts. "Don't worry, I won't disturb your leisure time, nor will I hinder your great plans, but the premise is -"

"premise?"

Clovel didn't care about Mostima's attitude. She was the daughter of Xila and the only fallen angel whose fall was acknowledged by everyone as an accident. Her influence in Lateran was not low.

"The premise is that you can explain to me why my brother was assigned a special mission to murder the monarch of another country." Mostima's smile became more obvious, but also more dangerous. "Azazel, it is impossible for you not to know him."

Clovel was speechless. Mostima's appearance was indeed beyond his expectations. Azazel was a master in sniping. He had read the list of students in every military academy class, as well as the comments of the instructors. No one's performance and ability could compare to Azazel, the rising star.

Even Abel Khan, who was well-known in the army at that time, was not as good as him.

If possible, Clowell wanted the beheading of Koshei to be carried out silently and with one blow, and Azazel was the perfect person.

But that was when Mostima was not present. He was able to use his identity to suppress even Xila, and Mostima was like a bomb that could explode at any time and could not be controlled by him.