Longmen Memoirs

Chen Mo asked himself this.

Maybe not. I just realized her identity, so I approached her in a despicable manner. And at this distance of being accepted by her, I inevitably hoped to embrace her【}

I just don’t want to lose this girl who once called me familiar. I just slowly got used to her existence and got used to finding a position that truly belongs to me in this strange world. And I placed this position in the world without any consent. On this girl.

The bits and pieces that we once gradually became blurred, became my only persistence in the increasingly cruel past over the years. Perhaps in this process, the name Tallulah itself became my obsession, and Not the girl who bore Tallulah's name.

Vina is right.

She said that I had left myself in the past. She said that I lived in my past. Even though I thought I was moving forward, I kept standing still.

Because I am afraid that I will go far away, look back, and be alone.

People always think too highly of themselves. The smarter they are, the more they make stupid mistakes. The smarter they are, the more they tend to be stymied by inconspicuous things.

That girl I thought I loved, it wasn't until I actually saw her that I realized how ridiculous I had been in the past. I saw myself clearly, but I was still willing to do it.

Chapter 6 Most people step into the same river, but they may not make the same mistakes again.

Chen Mo's eyes softened.

It seemed that after walking for a long time, he finally arrived at the end he wanted, although this end was different from what he had imagined in his mind, not as warm and not as fulfilling as he wanted.

This conflicted with the result he thought, but it was not too different. It was unexpected and reasonable.

The girl in front of him was exactly what he expected. Even though time passed by, it was inevitable that they would feel alienated from each other due to being separated for too long, but this sense of alienation seemed to remind Chen Mo and Tallulah that they both Still alive.

This is enough.

People can't expect too much, and they can't expect too happy endings, because expecting too much is always easy to fail, because if you have too high expectations for something from the beginning, the results will often be unsatisfactory.

"I have never dared to have high expectations, Tallulah. It is enough for me now. I have confirmed that you are still alive, and I can meet you again. For me, this is enough." It’s the best outcome.”

Even in the days we were apart, I have gone through so much for this reunion, even though I may have become a completely different person than you think.

It doesn't matter, none of this is important. What's important is that now I have a result.

"Don't feel sorry, Xiaota, and don't feel embarrassed by this, because I had already made this preparation before coming here, so when you answered that you can't leave with me, I wasn't too disappointed, but I won't just If you leave like this, I will stay, at least until I confirm that one day you no longer need me, at least until I can make myself feel safe, I will stay here."

When they were children, Chen Mo and Tallulah both thought that they could stay by each other's side and grow up with each other. They thought that this was the future they could imagine, but it didn't seem that difficult for him.

But it wasn't until I grew up that I realized how naive I was when I was a child. I didn't understand anything when I was a child, so I thought that what I wished for would happen, so I thought that I had made a promise to someone, and that promise could last a lifetime. really.

Tallulah had her own ideals and her own companions, but when the person she once thought appeared in front of her again, she had already made her own choice, but this choice was too disappointing for Chen Mo , disappointed but not heartless, because the little relationship between them has long been washed away by time, and looking back, only the naive and unrealistic delusions in the memory are left.

Logically speaking, Chen Mo himself was the one who broke his promise, so when this result was before his eyes, Chen Mo shouldn't complain too much.

The past, even if you don't want to, can never come back.

After the joy of meeting had passed, what was left for Chen Mo and Tallulah was the unfamiliarity they had not seen for many years and the tacit understanding of each other. In reality, they became strangers to each other. In reality, they both had more ideas of their own. And there seems to be no other person in these thoughts.

But they all have a glimmer of extravagant hope, Tallulah's reluctance hidden deep in her heart, Chen Moyan's insincere loss, and Chen's inability to mention it to Tallulah.

If one day, when it is confirmed that Tallulah can go on safely, Chen Mo may return to Longmen, but maybe that day will never come. Maybe Chen Mo just has a little extravagant hope for his little tower. It is difficult for him not to He has extravagant hopes, because the girl in front of him has already been engraved in his life.

Chen Mo is always greedy, greedy and extravagantly hopes for more, greedy and extravagantly hopes for Xiaota and Chen, and is trapped in this extravagant hope, and it is difficult to get relief.

He couldn't let go of Chen Huijie, but he couldn't let go of Tallulah either. He could turn a blind eye to Weina's unspoken feelings, because the monarch of Victoria should not be an infected person, because the relationship between him and Weina was enough for him to convince himself He had thought about answering the fox, but the fox's rejection still made him feel relieved.

Sometimes Chen Mo thinks that he is really selfish. He clearly understands that he can't give anyone a stable future and can't promise anything, but when it's time to let go, he can't help but want to pay close attention.

Tallulah breathed a sigh of relief, her shoulders relaxing.

She didn't expect so much about Chen Mo. She knew nothing about Chen Mo's experience, but this was not her fault. She was just relieved because she had hesitated before, and Chen Mo's answer might disappoint her, even if Tallulah had already guessed his answer, but only when he said it could she truly feel relieved.

"That might take a long time," Tallulah said.

Because she didn't know where the road she was taking now would lead, and she didn't know how long it would take for the infected to actually get a piece of land where they could live safely.

"It can't be longer than these years." Chen Mo raised his steps.

"But I..."

"Tallulah." Alina seemed to understand what Tallulah wanted to say, and she called out Tallulah's name. Looking at Tallulah, Tallulah was in Alina's eyes. I saw a hint of intolerance.

She knew what Alina was worried about.

"I always have to say it, Alina. Lies will always be exposed. Rather than wait until then, it's better for me to speak out myself."

"But you...Mr. Chen Mo."

Alina's hand hanging in front of Chen Mo was gently clenched. She was halfway through her words but did not continue after all.

Chen Mo didn't speak, but Tallulah's eyes fell on him.

Chen Mo's figure was reflected in her red eyes. She stood in the heavy snow falling from the sky. The wind and snow blew the girl's silver hair. Under the straight black Ursus military uniform, snowflakes fell on her shoulders.

She asked aloud:

"You've already guessed it, right? I may not be able to wait that long for you, you liar."

"I've guessed this possibility since I heard about you being among the infected."

"Have I let you down?"

"Are you referring to yourself when you grow up, or are you referring to becoming an infected person?" Chen Mo asked.

Tallulah was silent for a moment.

"...all of them."

"Then have you ever thought about what if I was the one who became infected?" Chen Mo asked: "What would you do if it were me? My answer is the same as yours, Tallulah."

Tallulah didn't answer.

Chen Mo spoke softly.

"I know what you are thinking, but my answer will not change. Whether you are the little tower in my memory or the infected Tallulah, my answer will not change because of this."

"Actually, I was worried, Tallulah. I also considered this result before I found you. I considered what I would do if you were not an infected person."

In Tallulah's stunned eyes.

Chen Mo smiled.

"I never thought that one day I would feel that being infected is a good thing."

The way back is actually not that long.

But this short journey made Tallulah feel as if a long time had passed. She was filled with panic and fear when she arrived, and she met a friend she hadn't seen for a long time next to Alina. She might be interested in Tallulah. The term "friend" is too frivolous, and the relationship between her and Chen Mo is much more complicated than friends.

Tallulah had not seen him for more than ten years, and in a short period of time, Tallulah felt the joy of repeating it, the joy that Alina was safe, the memories that were brought back by the reunion, and the things that happened because of it. The reality and unavoidable strangeness and alienation. Although Tallulah tried her best to hide her inner uneasiness, she still could not erase the strangeness towards Chen Mo.

Is the liar still the same liar in her memory?

Tallulah didn't dare to think about it, and she didn't dare to have too many extravagant hopes. Along the way, most of her extravagant hopes would come true. She only didn't want to experience this feeling with Chen Mo again.

But what should happen will still happen, and when Chen Mo asked Tallulah whether she would leave him, Tallulah already had her own answer. She knew what this answer meant to Chen Mo, and she also knew that Chen Mo She wished she could give an answer, but she couldn't.

In fact, when she decided to embark on this path, Tallulah never considered personal feelings again. She did not allow herself to be hindered by these small thoughts, and her ideals could not tolerate these insignificant emotions.

But when Chen Mo actually appeared, Tallulah understood that perhaps she had had these thoughts in her heart, but she thought that the person who made her have these thoughts might never be seen again in her life, so she never I have considered this aspect.

Maybe there were more things, Tallulah thought about it, but didn't say anything. Maybe she was also selfish in her heart. She selfishly hoped that Chen Mo could stay, even though she knew that if he stayed, she decided to stay with her. , this road that does not belong to him will drag him down.

But it is inevitable that people will be reluctant to let go of things, even if she is Tallulah, even if she keeps saying that her only hope is that the infected can live safely, other than that, she has no more wishes.

But she also has her own thoughts, because after all, he is not a saint, and even a saint has his own emotions.

Chen Mo knew this very well.

But he didn't mention it, didn't expose the little selfishness in Xiaota's heart, because no matter she was Tallulah【>@

There was a silver-haired girl that she longed for. She had grown up in a time she didn't know, and when she finally walked on this road, he stumbled to find her.

Maybe Chen Mo should have come back long ago. Maybe he should have given up the war in Kazdaele. If so, he would not have met Chen. If so, he should have met Xiaota earlier.

If that were the case, would it be any different? Would I not have so many conflicts at that time? Would everything get what I wanted?

Chen Mo didn't know.

But it was precisely because he didn't know that he could only keep the eyes in front of him.

"Tallulah! You're finally back, but you're not answering the communication. What's going on?"

It wasn't until the moment before the sky finally darkened that the returning Yeti team members saw Tallulah returning.

"Sorry, I lost my communicator and couldn't receive your message."

"What happened? I heard from the shield guards that you suddenly ran outside. We thought..."

"It's all right."

Tallulah shook her head. "By the way, where are the medics? Someone is injured and needs treatment."

"It's okay, Tallulah, it doesn't hurt anymore, don't worry about me."

"It's better to check it, otherwise I won't worry."

Only then did the snow monsters realize that she was holding a long box that they had never seen before, and standing next to him was a strange man who did not belong to the camp. Tallulah seemed to know him, because they were so close Very close. The snow monsters rarely see Tallulah so close to a man. Maybe Tallulah is like this when she is usually with the soldiers. After all, she has no airs, but the snow monsters still smell it. A hint of something unusual.

Several snow monsters looked at each other.

"Big sister."

Petrova lowered her voice and glanced at Frost Star quietly.

Several snow monsters looked over at the same time, as if they wanted her to get ahead.

Froststar understood what they were thinking. She remained calm on the surface and still had an indifferent expression on her face. Her gray eyes looked at the man standing next to Tallulah.

"Tallulah, this is..."

"He is my friend, Chen Mo. This is Shuangxing, a very outstanding warrior and the captain of the snow monsters. Even I suffered some losses at her hands."

"A little? More than that, Tallulah."

Frost Star frowned slightly, seemingly dissatisfied with Tallulah's words.

"If you're not convinced, we can practice again."

"Okay, I admit that you are very powerful." Tallulah did not argue and asked, "Has everyone in the camp been settled?"

Shuangxing was a little surprised. In her impression, Tallulah was not so easy to talk to, especially every time she trained. She had always been very serious about this, but now Tallulah's answer was different from usual. If it was normal, Tallulah La doesn't say soft words so easily.

Her eyes couldn't help but fall on the man next to Tallulah again.

Tallulah was in a good mood, Froststar could tell without having to guess.

"Except for you, everyone has confirmed their safety. The guerrillas have returned. The remnants of the pickets dare not come up at this time. However, this stronghold cannot be used to avoid being surrounded. We have to find a new place to stay. point."

"What do you mean, Mr. Patriot?"

"It's the same view. Everyone is waiting for you to come back."

"Sorry for worrying you."

"Besides, Tallulah, can you guarantee the person you brought back?" Frost Star asked, "You should know our current situation."

Tallulah glanced sideways at Chen Mo.

"I can guarantee that, Frost Star, [

"Since you can vouch for it, that's good." Shuangxing said, "Let's go, we still have a meeting to hold. You have delayed it for too long. We need to make future itineraries and plans in advance."

Shuangxing said, turned around, and added: "Also, you'd better be prepared. If my father says something harsh to you later, I will warn you in advance."

Tallulah hesitated for a moment. She did not follow Shuangxing's footsteps, but her eyes fell on Chen Mo.

"Tallulah..."

Froststar turned back in confusion and looked at Tallulah who stayed behind.

"Sister, don't speak at this time." A snow monster beside him whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"That's it...in short, you don't understand Tallulah's current situation, sister."

"Speak clearly, Yang."

"Oh, what can I tell you, Petrova, come on, come on."

Petrova stared blankly at Tallulah not far away, seemingly in a trance, her eyes almost drifting away, until Yang Ge called her, she suddenly came back to her senses.