Longmen Memoirs

"Even if what you say is true, others may believe it, but I can't, and I can't be one of you."

His words reached Cannott's ears.

"Whether you continue to cooperate with the infected or terminate the cooperation, you can focus on this group of infected people. At least that way, we will not become enemies."

"I understand, I understand, Mr. Chen. In fact, I don't expect to be able to convince you immediately, but this is a good start. I believe that one day, you will become one of us, and I am very much looking forward to that day."

Ha, if I could still be alive then.

Chen Mo thought, he raised his head and looked at the rare bright sky in Ursus.

Dong Yu's cries vaguely sounded in my ears, the snow on the branches reflected the crystal sunshine, and another year passed quietly.

This piece of snow has buried the past of many people, including Chen Mo himself.

052, you are wrong. In the past few years, I have still accomplished nothing.

Chapter 26 After that ([-]): Acceptance

Chen Mo came back from outside the camp alone. When he came back, he happened to bump into Shuangxing. It couldn't be said to be a coincidence, otherwise it would be impossible for him to meet Carters walking in this direction as soon as he appeared within the camp.

She was still dressed as always, but the strange staff that always hung around her waist was missing.

Her eyes fell on Chen Mo and then moved to the scabbard he was holding.

"want to go out?"

"No, I'm looking for you."

"what's up?"

"I hope you can attend the next meeting." Frost Star said, "Not only me, but the soldiers in the camp also hope you can attend. With you here, they can feel more at ease."

"I should have said..."

"That was before." Shuangxing said, looking at Chen Mo with a look that could not be rejected: "No matter what reason you decided to stay, at least what you did was recognized by everyone, just like now, Even if you don’t go to the meeting, everyone will still think of you when encountering any problems. If you are afraid that differences will arise between us and embarrass the soldiers, then come and talk about these things when they happen.”

She rarely showed a tough attitude. This was the first time that Chen Mo and Shuang Xing had known each other with such an attitude.

Those gray eyes looked at him. Shuangxing lowered his hands but did not look away. After looking at each other for a few seconds, Chen Mo suddenly understood the reason.

"Is it because of this?"

"I've been thinking about it these past few days. I'm wondering whether I can solve these problems on my own without you." Froststar said, but she knew the answer very well.

If it were her, the team would have already had problems when encountering the blizzard. Even if it didn't fall apart, many people would leave or die on the road below.

They migrated with difficulty in the subsequent journey. How many people could reach the meeting point alive? Shuangxing knew the answer without even thinking about it, and how many people would leave after that.

I'm afraid there will be more. They will argue over food and take desperate risks to attack the picket camp. Especially after losing contact with the guerrillas, they can't even be sure that both parties are suitable to merge smoothly.

It’s not that she didn’t do a good enough job, it’s just that natural disasters plus man-made disasters, cold winters, and unpredictable people make life difficult for a group of rootless infected people in Ursus.

But now they have enough food, and even sick infected people have been treated. The weather is warmer, people have expectations, and they have reached cooperation with a strange caravan. The road under the team's feet has become easier unknowingly. Quite a few.

Shuangxing is not stupid, of course she understands why it is like this.

From the time Chen Mo appeared to now, their road has become much easier. If there were such good things in the past, if we go to the south, there will be such good things.

Froststar is not that naive yet. Rather, in her opinion, going to the south may not be as beautiful as Tallulah said. They can at least survive in the snowfield, but if they go to the south, how many unknowns will there be? Waiting for them to face problems that cannot even be solved with the weapons in their hands.

The answer is a lot.

"I always thought that I would definitely encounter difficulties in the future. I know those difficulties, such as being isolated and helpless under the siege of the Ursus army, or being betrayed by the infected in the camp. We have nowhere to go and no reinforcements. We just Able to wander around and take in some infected people who also have nowhere to go.”

"I am not unfamiliar with this kind of life. On the contrary, I feel that I can face it, even if it is worse." She said, sighing softly: "But I didn't expect that the first problem I encountered would be After being separated from the guerrillas, I led the evacuation of other infected people in the camp alone. Unexpectedly, the biggest enemy I encountered was not Ursus' army, but ourselves."

She may not have thought that she would be so fragile, so fragile that she couldn't even retreat with a group of infected people, so fragile that when something went wrong in the camp, she couldn't even think of any solution.

Shuangxing didn't like this feeling, and she didn't like this feeling of powerlessness. It seemed that her original pride was suddenly shattered in her, causing her to gradually become worried about gains and losses from a warrior who was always confident in the past.

She stood in the snow in front of the camp, with tents set up in the camp behind her. The snow was mixed with the barren land. There was a lonely forest in the distance. The sun was bright and warm. The soldier's back was straight, and he seemed to be connected to the past. What a difference.

She recognized her shortcomings and wanted to change them.

She is still young, but how much time can infected people waste on one thing? The answer is very little, but this does not mean that they can only choose to rest on their laurels.

"If you want me to give you some advice, I have to say it in advance. I'm not very good at teaching people." Chen Mo said.

He has never been a good teacher. Chen Mo understood this when Heigang was secretly called impersonal by those students.

He doesn't have the patience to teach others something in detail, slowly reason with them, and try to enlighten them. He has never done anything, and he doesn't know how to do psychological counseling.

Rather than teaching people, he felt that he was more likely to mislead his disciples, even if the other party was an infected person.

"Tallulah said that you like to lie, and asked me to be more careful when listening to your words. Now it seems that what she said is indeed right." Froststar said.

"Did she tell you this too?"

"Surprised you?"

"Well, a little bit."

"She also told me that if I encounter a problem, I hope I can listen to your opinion. She trusts you very much. She trusts you beyond words. She seems to think that you must be able to help us." Shuangxing added: "Actually, At the beginning, I didn't count on you much. I can see that you don't really want to have more interactions with us. If there hadn't been the blizzard, you would have been more willing to maintain this relationship with us until Tallulah and the others. return."

"I was not familiar with you at that time, and I also can't expect you to trust me to maintain the safety of this camp, even if I am the one brought here by Tallulah."

"You don't deny it?"

"I don't deny it. Also during the snowstorm, I did not discuss this matter with you in advance. It is indeed that I went too far, but I hope you can understand."

That time the infected people left with the food. Chen Mo had obviously guessed and even knew their movements, but he didn't mention it to Shuangxing, because he wanted these people to leave so as to avoid unnecessary accidents caused by their next actions.

From another perspective, he was using this matter to coerce Frost Star and the infected to achieve his goal. Although the goal itself was beneficial to them, this method, especially Chen Mo's later words.

It can be said that in this matter, his approach was indeed a bit outrageous, and even made people feel inhumane. Although Shuangxing did not mention it, it was obvious that she did not like such dark calculations and activities.

"It's not all your fault. If you were that kind of person, you wouldn't tell me that you knew they were going to leave."

Shuangxing shook his head and took a breath: "Speaking of which, if you hadn't mentioned it at that time, it might have caused a bigger problem after I left with the snow monster."

"And this time, if you hadn't gone to the city and found this group of people who were willing to help us, I would have still had a headache." Shuangxing said, looking at Chen Mo: "Just think that we are even. But I hope you can discuss with me more in the future and don’t make decisions alone.”

"I try my best."

"As far as possible, that's not the answer I want to hear." Shuangxing's face was straight, and she glanced at Chen Mo with an unkind look.

Froststar looked at him holding the knife again.

"That weapon of yours shouldn't be just for show, wait..."

"If you want to train with me, forget it." Chen Mo replied hurriedly: "I heard Tallulah mention that you are very skilled. She said that you are a top magician. As for me, I am not very good at fighting, so I am definitely not yours. opponent."

Shuangxing looked at Chen Mo's face suspiciously.

"Forget it, now is not the time to bring this up."

Chen Mo felt relieved.

[_ He followed Froststar towards the meeting tent in the camp.

"Did you go out just now to see Cannot?" Frost Star suddenly asked.

Chen Mo stopped.

Frost Star turned back to look at him who paused for a moment.

"That group of people is a bit suspicious." Shuangxing said, before Chen Mo could answer, "I can tell even if you don't tell me, but they are willing to help us. There are too few people in Ursus who are willing to have anything to do with the infected. Besides, they are willing to help us." They are still willing to provide us with supplies, where did they get those medicines from?”

"I'm not too sure if you ask me this. They claim to have their own way, but Ursus is not the only country where they have a presence. They can be found in many countries."

"Did he say these things?"

"That being said, we don't know how much we can believe it."

"But what is he planning?" Shuangxing asked, he and Chen Mo were walking side by side on the road: "Those who plan to infect can help them, and plan to bring us people to the pickets in exchange for rewards. The materials they provide alone are far away. Far more than this value.”

"No matter what their plans are, at least for now, it is more beneficial for us to cooperate with them. At least the infected people are not a bad thing for us until Ursus gets better." Chen Mo replied, and added: " In the merchant industry, there is a method of operation called anticipatory investment, which means investing resources before a valuable product shows its potential value, and then reaping several times the value later. The answer will have to wait until later Just known."

"The infected person they took away?"

"You also said that the supplies they provided alone are far more than the value of handing the infected people to Ursus, so the infected people are safe in their hands."

"Hearing you say that, I'm relieved."

"You suddenly believe in me so much?" Chen Mo asked in surprise.

Froststar glanced at him.

"I'm just not sure. After all, this is the first time I've encountered an organization like this that can provide us with medicines in so long." Shuangxing explained, and then asked: "What I'm more curious about is, how did you do it?" To convince them, I think the guy from Cannot is not so easy to be fooled. I asked Yange and Big D. They only said that you went to meet them alone. As for what you said between you, they didn’t know. have no idea."

"This point has something to do with my previous experience. Before coming to Snowfield, I stayed in Kazdale and Victoria. During that time, I met several big people. Cannott just wanted to cooperate with these people. So actually he is waiting here specially for me."

Chen Mo answered half-truth: "He needs a middleman, and we just need his help. He and I hit it off immediately, but the most important thing is that he has heard about the reputation of the guerrillas in the snowy fields. He thinks that cooperation with you may help It will produce some unexpected effects in the future.”

"What a coincidence?" Shuangxing was a little confused.

"It's not a coincidence. Ever since he got the news of my coming to the snowfield, he and I have inevitably met. Even if there is no camp, the problem is the same this time. It's just that we happened to meet him, and for them, this time and the guerrillas The investment in team intersection is not expensive.”

"Then I'll just treat it like this." Froststar said. She looked away and her voice sounded again: "But if Tallulah knows about this and asks about it, it's none of my business. What have you thought about? Did you tell her?"

"If possible, I would like to arrange for her to meet with Kannot alone. She would prefer to meet this businessman alone. If the team goes to the south in the future, there may be more opportunities for cooperation with them."

"Well, given her character, it's really possible if we know it."

Frost Star did not refute. She thought of Tallulah's character and did not deny that Tallulah would really care about this matter. After all, it was just like she thought, a caravan willing to cooperate with the infected, even if the origin was unknown. , is also worthy of their attention.

"You seem to know her very well, obviously you haven't seen each other for so many years."

"Some people will not be changed by time. Frost Star, she is that kind of person originally, and she will not change much when she grows up."

Chen Mo didn't want Shuangxing to know that Kannot's cooperation with them was due to his relationship, which would make Shuangxing feel some unnecessary dependence and debt on him.

He hopes to make Froststar feel that he is just an opportunity, and that it is the name of the Snowfield Guerrilla that makes Kannot really choose to trade with them. At least this statement is easier for Froststar and the people in the camp to accept, rather than A person suddenly appears and suddenly changes their lives, but they seem to be insignificant. Doesn't it negate everything they have done?

It seems that everything is getting better, because for everything they do, someone is willing to help them. Even if the help may be just a dispensable trial, it at least shows that they are changing themselves through their own efforts. living environment.

Chapter 27 Those days

That was the beginning of the year 1093.

In January, the snow has not stopped, and the Ussus tundra is still experiencing biting cold winter.

In Shuangxing's impression, there was not much difference from last year. They were still struggling to survive on the frozen soil with the infected, living a life without enough food.

The guerrillas temporarily separated the team in the camp in order to attract the enemy. Tallulah led most of the infected warriors and guerrillas in other directions to divert the Ursus army's pursuit, while Froststar led the remaining infected in the camp towards The South evacuated.

Tallulah had proposed going south several times, but the Patriots had not yet agreed to her plan. Although the team was moving south, at least it had not left the snowfields.

As the days passed, Shuangxing lost contact with the guerrillas, but the guerrillas had already left. Later, they encountered a snowstorm. People's hearts changed, and the disease spread within the team. The journey was not smooth.

This short journey of just over half a month made Shuangxing feel long for the first time. Even though she rarely took a good rest, even though she stopped thinking about their future itinerary all the time, things often cannot be solved by just thinking about them, but often For many things, people can only find solutions after they actually happen, rather than trying to avoid them before they happen.

First they don't have that ability, but even though they knew it would happen, even though they knew there was a shortage of food, and they knew the disease needed treatment, they were powerless.

I can only think that this is their own fate, just like those infected people who can only survive on their own when they are weak and sick. This is their life because they are infected.

Although they were unwilling to accept it, even though they felt it was unfair, and even though they had endless anger and depression in their hearts, as infected people, they were unable to change this situation. The reality is that if people don’t feel something is wrong in their hearts, it will be caused by someone’s will. Something that changes.

Reality is cold and ruthless, it treats everyone equally, and he makes his own arrangements for everyone's destiny.

At that time, they did not even have a stable gathering place and did not dare to stay anywhere for a long time. After the Ursus pickets discovered their traces, they had to make a move.

Few villages are willing to exchange food with their group of infected people, and few people are willing to have more conversations with their group of infected people.

There is no land, no fields suitable for farming, and the source of supplies can only rely on the guerrillas and the dispatched infected warriors to go out to collect supplies, or to use the supplies when attacking the mines and the patrol strongholds of the Ursus pickets. Collect them.

In fact, they are hungry most of the time. Whether it is Frost Star or Tallulah, most of the infected people are malnourished and rely on tree roots and a little wild vegetables to eat. Their stomachs are empty, and the snow melts and becomes water.

Many infected people who originally walked together chose to leave, and infected people rescued by the guerrillas continued to temporarily join the team. Tallulah always said that it would get better in the future. Her words, her fantasy, It makes people feel longing and distant.

Even if you understand that what she said makes sense, if you try to think about it, you will find that what she said is too far away, so far away that a group of hungry and hungry infected people believe that they will one day To have a city of their own, I believe that they can be respected by the Ursus people, and one day they can even get the same treatment as the people in the city.

How many infected people in the camp came together because of Tallulah's ideals, and how many infected people chose to stay instead of being protected by the guerrillas.

Froststar actually knew in her heart, and she also understood that when one day the guerrillas could no longer provide shelter for these infected people, Tallulah's ideals would not be able to keep them.

It's not because they are ignorant and insensitive, but because even people like Froststar who agree with Tallulah's ideas are not optimistic about his ideas.

Yes, recognition and optimism are never contradictory.