Longmen Memoirs

"It's very difficult." Chen Mo said, "It will definitely be much more difficult than it is now. If you ask me to say stop doing it, I will take you away."

"Well...you really don't miss any opportunity."

"Then it's impossible for you to expect me to say nice things." Chen Mo smiled, and he stretched out his hand. Tallulah took his hand very naturally: "You still have a long way to go from now on, little one. tower."

Chapter 39 Cause and Effect

The light from the campfire illuminated the central square of the camp.

The snow was cleared away, and the firewood was burning in the firelight. The walls of the wooden house reflected the bright firelight, and people's shadows overlapped in the firelight.

Two weeks later, until the guerrillas returned safely and the new camp was finally settled, no one thought to celebrate their new home.

It is said to be a celebration, but in fact it is far from it. It is too shabby. There is no sumptuous food, no wine, no gorgeous lights and colorful decorations. There are just people gathered together, and the smiles on people's faces remain unchanged. What has become is lively.

Man, this kind of creature can find a way to laugh even in difficult situations. Frustration and suffering are often endless. Until the day of death, who can say that they will be able to find peace in hell.

Live better, live more like yourself, live less painfully.

Even the Patriot did not refuse. Rarely, Chen Mo saw the Patriot in front of the campfire. He thought that the Wendigo might not be suitable for such a lively and noisy atmosphere.

He was indeed not used to it, but with his tall figure sitting on the ground, alongside the shield guards, there was no difference.

There was no way to get drunk without wine, but Chen Mo felt as if he was drunk. Under the warm campfire, the sight of his remaining left eye gradually became blurred, and his long-stressed spirit was also here. Relax for a moment.

No one here can be his enemy, and no one wants his life.

That night seemed to last forever.

During the long night, Chen Mo saw the voices of Sasha and Ino. They shared the prey captured by hunters in the winter. They sat side by side not far from the bonfire. The firelight reflected the two small figures. Sasha, who had a cold personality, The way Sha looked at Ino made Chen Mo feel as if he had seen him before somewhere.

He unconsciously thought of himself and the fox many years ago. It was so many years ago that Chen Mo couldn't remember clearly. It had been so long that he couldn't remember what happened at that time. He could only look at the similar things. Only once in a while can the memory in my mind occasionally ripple.

But he didn't think it was the case, because he didn't have deep feelings for the fox, and he didn't have that kind of attachment to the fox, so Chen Mo thought of the orphanage when he was a child, but the life in the orphanage only seemed beautiful, and he was not that good. Sincerely, he has always been a mean person, even as a child.

Those chaotic memories came back on this cold winter night, accompanied by the flickering firelight, accompanied by the laughter of this group of strange infected people, accompanied by the confusion and uncertainty about the future hidden in their hearts.

Too many, too many. When Chen Mo looked back now, he realized that he had experienced so many things. When Chen Mo looked back now, he realized that he had met so many people.

He sat down quietly.

Looking at the frost star surrounded by snow monsters, looking at Alina sitting with the infected people in the education team, looking at the familiar soldiers during this period, looking at the extra unfamiliar faces, looking at the camp that once had It was built bit by bit in his sight.

Every person and place here has had his presence before, and every person here is unknowingly related to him.

In front of the campfire, the infected people danced arm in arm. Surrounded by the warm light of the campfire, sparks floated into the sky. Chen Mo saw a young man. He walked to Tallulah anxiously. He hesitated. Extending her hand, Tallulah did not refuse.

Chen Mo saw Talulah's smile and the unique Ursus dance he and the young man danced. She was indeed good at these, even though the steps of this folk dance were considered vulgar to the upper-class nobles. .

But Chen Mo didn't think so.

He only saw a girl who was constantly striving for her ideals. He was immersed in it, in the joy and satisfaction that his ideals full of ups and downs brought to her, and in the fearless future even if he couldn't see the way forward. courage.

Chen Mo suddenly thought.

Maybe this is the life that should belong to her. Maybe since he was a child, he knew that this day would come, but he still didn't want to just accept it. He still selfishly hoped that he could be the reason to change her future.

Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do to change it. What was regretful and ridiculous was that in the end, it was himself who was really changed by this land.

It was his innocence, weakness, ridiculousness and cowardice.

He cannot lead a world to undergo earth-shaking changes, and he does not have such great ideas. After all, he is just a person with little ability. Even if he has some knowledge and history from other worlds in his mind, he can't rely on it alone. There is nothing you can do to change these things.

There are many things in this world that cannot be achieved through hard work. For many things in this world, hard work is just the most basic element, and it does not become the key factor.

Chen Mo's world is very small. His world only has a small piece of world that he can see. In that world, he was familiar with the Dragon Gate, and in that world he knew people and things.

These are the only things he wants to protect. Unfortunately, even if there are only these things, even if there are only such trivial things, he cannot guarantee that he can guard them.

He has known his own insignificance and how limited a person's power is. It is so limited that even a slight setback can make him irrecoverable. It is so limited that even a fatal wound may kill a person.

No one is immortal. There is only one way to avoid death, and that is to be cautious and live carefully. Even so, there is no guarantee that you will be able to survive.

This is how a person wants to live, but when there is another person in his heart, maybe more than one, and there is something he wants to protect, the difficulty will undoubtedly increase exponentially, because he not only has to consider himself, but also more things. More, perhaps from that time on, his own life was no longer so important.

"Aren't you jealous? Tallulah is dancing with another man. She has never done this before. I don't even remember the last time she smiled like this."

Alina didn't know when she stood behind Chen Mo, looking in the direction in front of the campfire. There were already many infected people participating, and their figures gradually gathered together, as if even the winter night had an invisible and intangible trace. Warmth truly falls into everyone's heart.

The silver hair of Tallulah, who was illuminated by the fire, was dyed with a touch of orange, and her hair fluttered with her footsteps. The dragon girl who looked beautiful and wanted to save the world was soaring freely in the sky of her own creation.

Chen Mo has nothing to be jealous of. Rather, he is very happy. He has confirmed that he no longer likes and has no nostalgia for Tallulah. The little tower she once loved is still in her heart, even if Tallulah's footsteps Moving forward, Xiaota never left.

The little tower was in his heart when he was at the Black Wall, and for more than ten years, they were never separated.

"Why are you jealous?" Chen Mo replied, and Alina slowly sat down next to him: "On the contrary, I am very happy to see her like this."

"Really? If I invite you, do you want to refuse?"

Although she said this, Alina looked at Chen Mo but made no move.

"You don't look like an inviter."

"Because I'm not very good at this kind of situation. Don't look at me like this. I'm actually not as bold as Tallulah. And if I do this, I haven't figured out how to deal with Tallulah yet."

"That's great." Chen Mo smiled: "If you really invite me, I'm afraid I have no choice but to refuse. I don't know how to dance like this."

Chen Mo said, and then asked: "When did she learn it?"

"A long time ago, when we were still in the village, a party would be held in the village every year after the harvest season. At that time, Tallulah had always been the dream girl of many boys. She was good-looking and well-educated. Even if she wore Simple clothes, living in a small village in the wilderness, can't cover up the brilliance of her body at all, she is just like a popular lady in the city."

"so……"

Chen Mo nodded slightly and looked at the cup in his hand.

"It seems that I guessed right. She gave up those things on her own."

"No, Alina." Chen Mo shook his head and said, "It's not like giving up. In fact, she has never had those things, whether in Longmen or Ursus, she has never had them."

Because she was a child that no one loved or wanted from the beginning to the end, otherwise I, an ordinary and poor guy, would not have met her on that rainy night.

Otherwise she wouldn't have come to the orphanage.

She and Chen are the same, everyone's young lady in the eyes of others, but they never think so. There is nothing left in their lives except each other.

Tallulah came back at the wrong time. When Chen Mo looked past her, he happened to see the young man who had just invited Tallulah looking in his direction, or in other words, he was looking at Tallulah's back.

I don't know when, the number of people who love Tallulah has gradually increased, and I am not the only one who loves her.

There is some blush on her face after exercise. The blush may just come from the fire of the campfire, but it makes her more vivid and real. If she thinks back, she is still young at this time. She has just turned 25 years old at this time. At this age, she shouldn't have to shoulder these heavy responsibilities.

"What are you talking about?"

Ever since Alina came here, her eyes had been paying attention to this direction. It would be better to say that she had been paying attention since she accepted the invitation from the young man named Wood.

Indeed, she knew that there were many people who might have a favorable impression of her, but that was all. Maybe no fool would ever wait for more than ten years and travel thousands of miles to find her in this place. Maybe there would never be another fool. You are a fool who still makes countless excuses for yourself even though you know there will be no results.

"We talked about the education group." Before Alina could answer, Chen Mo spoke first. "I'll look over there. Someone might come over and invite you later."

"What about you?" She stretched out her hand to Chen Mo who was sitting: "You have no intention of inviting me."

"I don't want to be laughed at by you." Chen Mo shook his head: "I have never learned that kind of dance."

"I can teach you."

"Now?"

"no?"

"Let's wait until later. It just so happens that I also have something I want to talk to you about."

"what's up?"

Talulah sat down next to Chen Mo. She reached out and tucked the slightly messy hair behind her ears.

"You still have plans to go south, right?" Chen Mo asked: "We, the snow monsters, have heard about it. You mentioned this matter to the patriots a few days ago."

Tallulah was stunned.

"You already know, but this time even Shuangxing doesn't agree with me." She replied: "It seems that Shuangxing has changed a lot during my absence."

"It's not that they don't agree, it's just that you failed to let them see the exact feasibility of going south. I've heard of the plans you mentioned, but they are too slim compared to the risks. I didn't say they were unrealistic. Because what you said is not unreasonable, nor is it completely impossible."

"It's just difficult." Chen Mo said: "It's difficult to convince a group of infected people who have never been to the south that they can establish themselves in the south and achieve certain results. It's not that they don't trust you, but they don't trust the infected people in the south you say. , you have not left any escape route. If you fail, you may have been prepared, but they may not be."

Tallulah didn't answer.

"I understand all these principles, but the south has what we need, education, resources. We are not able to exploit the resources in the snowfield. The infected people in the city also have the same ideas as us. We go to the south to prove that no , just to make them believe that we can be trusted. If we stay in the snowfield, we will never be able to do this. If we don't do it, no one will believe us."

"Only by going south to seek a new possibility and uniting the infected in southern cities can we truly have a chance to unite the power of the infected."

"Even if you might fail?"

"I'm not worried about failure," Tallulah said. "I just hope we can become a spark."

"But that's not what I planned, Tallulah." Chen Mo shook his head and said, "I plan to continue to develop this camp. After you take the soldiers to the south, this can become a relay point for you to contact the snowfield. But this The statement may be too far-fetched, because there are unpredictable natural disasters and there are pickets who are always searching for traces of infected people.”

"So, before that, I want to leave here and go to Kazdaele. Frost Star told me that your destination is Chernobog. It is a big city, but fortunately, although it is in the south, it belongs to The central location of the Ursus Empire city cluster."

"Before you convince the patriots to agree to go south, I plan to go to Kazdaele. I told you that after the civil war, the Sarkarz do not reject the arrival of infected people, but this policy may affect the Ursus Empire. With the flow of infected people, disputes are inevitable. They and Kazdare, which borders Ursus, also need some power to contain the actions of the Ursus Empire."

"I think you should be able to become one of them, so this time when I go to Kazdale, I want to try to find some help for you from there, even if it is obsolete weapons and equipment, or communication equipment and someone who is willing to come here to provide you with Officers who teach and train.”

"If we can really get their help, I think the patriots may be able to agree to your plan to go south, and it will also provide you with more confidence in going south."

"Kazdel, is Sarkaz, who just ended the civil war, really willing to help us?" Tallulah asked uncertainly.

She wasn't too sure about this. It would be better to say that the word help was too far away from the infected. Tallulah never thought of seeking any help from elsewhere, especially Kazdaele. She was too concerned about that country. It was unfamiliar, but she had heard a lot about Sakaz's name.

"I'm not sure." Chen Mo said, "But I have to give it a try. If this can save the infected people in the camp from sacrifice, and if Kazdel can help us, the road ahead will definitely be much smoother. I think with this help, after arriving in the south, the infected people in the city will be more willing to believe in your ideas. Tallulah, strength is the basis of cooperation and the only guarantee that people can see. You If you want people to trust you, you have to tell them that you have the strength to make them trust you, and I know you understand this."

So, even if you ask, I will bring these back for you.

Because dignity is no longer so important to me, even though I thought I would never set foot on that land again in this life.

Chapter 40 Death and Life Together ([-])

Tallulah didn't answer immediately.

She looked back in the direction in front of the campfire, and the faces were reflected in her gray eyes. She looked at the current scene in the camp. However, these things are easily broken. They are the homes of the infected, their habitats. The earth has always been so fragile, so fragile that not only natural disasters, but even a small mistake can ruin all these efforts.

She looked at Chen Mo again, as if she had already made a decision.

"When are you going to leave?"

"Wait until I hear your promise that you will take no new action until I return."

"one person?"

“The fewer people there are, the safer it is.”

"..."

Chen Mo said: "The greenhouse in the field has just been built not long ago. If everything goes well, I will come back before the potatoes in the field mature. I mentioned to you the businessman Cannot who I met in the camp before you came back. I will try to contact him again when I come back. You should meet him. He is very familiar with the south. If you go south then, he has many connections that can help us."

"What about the price? What do you need to pay?"

"A possibility, a possibility that you can lead the infected people of Ursus to achieve certain results. Nothing is free, alliances, contracts, these are all based on interests. If Cannot wants something, you can ask her personally. , as for whether you can cooperate with them again, I believe you can make a decision."

"Don't you want to give me any advice?" Tallulah was stunned. She tilted her head slightly and looked at Chen Mo.

"If it were you before," Chen Mo said, "This is your ideal, Tallulah, and the path you choose, so where it leads and where it goes is up to you to decide."

"But you will still stay with me, right? If I make a mistake and take the wrong path, you will also remind me."

She looked at Chen Mo's familiar face quietly, and her words seemed to be asking, but also with a little expectation.

The sounds around her seemed to have become quiet at this moment. When it was quiet, Tallulah could only see Chen Mo's figure. Every expression of his, and the face under his black hair gradually no longer felt strange to her. , the bottom of his black pupils reflected his own face.

That silver-haired girl, that's herself.

"……I promise."

"That……【{

She nodded lightly.

"Before you come back, I will not take any new actions, but I will continue to try to contact the infected people in other settlements and the south, but I will not leave here, I will wait here for you to come back."