Longmen Memoirs

It seems like this spring will never come.

Whenever I look up and see a candle, I can't help but reach out and put it out, only to have to relight it in the darkness.

Come on, winter, if it doesn't pass, we will all be buried in this snow.

Hurry up and go there.

2 month 28 day.

------

Unsurprisingly, the identity of the Duke's adopted daughter caused an uproar among the infected, especially after Tallulah publicly admitted this identity, which shattered the last chance of the infected who trusted her.

Even with the recognition of patriots and shield guards, the camp will inevitably arouse controversy and suspicion. The seeds of doubt have been planted, and even if there is no urging, it will still take root.

Things haven't gotten that bad yet.

At least it was much better than Tallulah expected. She could only think so before she could accept those eyes that once looked at her but now looked at her with suspicion, as well as her identity as a so-called leader.

Perhaps it was just an accident, and the newly united camp would be fragmented again. To a certain extent, the inner guards undoubtedly completed their mission.

They succeeded in creating an invisible rift between the infected and Tallulah, and this rift would continue to grow and expand with every word and action of Tallulah, until one day, she said When she says some unrealistic words, the infected people will subconsciously think of her identity and suspect that this is a conspiracy to take advantage of them.

She emaciated a lot.

Changes in people's hearts and the difficult situation of lack of food and clothing made the atmosphere in the camp increasingly difficult. However, no one had yet asked to leave, but Tallulah did not discuss going south with the Patriots.

She was originally so confident, but since the inner guard appeared, even she began to hesitate.

Bad news came one after another.

Firstly, their whereabouts have been exposed. Should they immediately abandon this recently established camp? Secondly, their food and supplies can no longer support the next migration. Finally, should they continue southward or return to the snowfield? This time, Presumably it won't be as smooth as when I left.

The picket team is the next best thing. The advance team of the Fourth Army suffered a big loss and will inevitably continue to search for their traces. The next attack will be more violent, and the guerrillas and infected warriors are in urgent need of supplies and rest.

One after another, Tallulah was forced to find a solution, but time was not on their side, and time was not on the side of the infected. The longer it was delayed, the greater the possibility that they would be in danger.

Tallulah thought of her previous thought again.

Maybe spreading the team out would make the operation more covert, but then communication would become a problem, and she couldn't guarantee whether they would fall into the enemy's trap after spreading the team out. The appearance of the inner guard gave her a wake-up call. , while making her more cautious, she also became more aware of the dilemma they faced.

Besides, Tallulah didn't really have much confidence in how many people would be left when they gathered together after she proposed to disperse the team.

Chen Mo still didn't wake up.

He had been unconscious for several days.

The camp has been holding meetings in the past few days. Since Tallulah publicly admitted her identity, what she can expect is that her words are no longer as trustworthy as they used to be, except for earlier The warriors who fought with her, and others who later joined the camp, cared more about her identity as the heir to the duke than her words.

She became a little quieter.

She no longer expresses her opinions as she did in the past, and more often when she is quiet, she will only answer when other guerrillas or patriots ask her opinions.

She has become more and more like a leader, a leader who is more accustomed to thinking about many opinions than expressing her own opinions. This is a good thing, but it is not yet known whether she is also cautious about her words and deeds after admitting her identity. She is worried about her own Words and actions would widen the gap between her and the infected, and she felt she should remain silent.

They all need time, both herself and the infected need time to accept the news, and time will be the best medicine, enough to heal all the scars in the world.

But Tallulah herself may have forgotten that when a person is injured and bleeds, the wound will no longer hurt after it heals, but it will still leave a scar, and that scar will not hurt, but it will not disappear either.

Her identity will always be with her, no matter who she becomes or what she becomes in the future, these are facts that cannot be denied, but she will not deny it either.

Maybe she thought about it before, maybe she was so disgusted with her identity as the adopted daughter of a duke, hated the teachings and education, and hated all the knowledge that Cosiche instilled in her, but it is undeniable that this knowledge made her become what she is now. The appearance helped her understand the world and what she should do.

Maybe she should be grateful to the old black snake. If it weren't for his despicableness and darkness, Tallulah still wouldn't know what she should really do. She did live a miserable life when she first escaped from the duchy, but now But she was extremely sober, because she truly understood her responsibilities and the meaning of life.

That dream is slowly fading away.

Chen Mo opened his eyes and saw a simple house. The house was a little dark, and the windows were half open, so dazzling light fell into the house.

His vision gradually became clearer, and he could not see Tallulah's figure. His brain was a little drowsy, as if he had woken up after sleeping for too long.

He sat up from the bed, and his movements touched the wound on his shoulder. Only then did Chen Mo remember the previous experience. He lowered his eyes and saw the staggered scars on his body.

He seemed to think of something, and noticed the burnt candles on the bedside. The giant sword and the heavy knife were placed in the corner, including the black communicator. All his things were here, and he didn't have much to begin with.

When I opened the door, the skylight outside was a little dazzling, but it was still a familiar scene. I could see the busy figures of the infected, and the cultivated farmland further away, at the edge of the woods.

It was a rare sunny day in the northern plains of Ursus, with no snow falling. Even though it was still so cold, you could still feel a touch of warmth when the sun fell on you.

It seems that this is the meaning of human life.

"If we want to continue moving south, the supplies we have now simply cannot support so many people migrating together. The team must be dispersed. For safety reasons, some people need to stay."

"I don't agree. The whereabouts of the camp may have been exposed. What's the difference between staying and waiting to die."

"Then go north and return to the snowfield."

"You want us to abandon them, abandon this group of infected people who have followed us all the way here. How are you going to tell them?"

"That's not what I meant, but...not everyone is determined to go south. You know it in your heart, there must be some people who are not willing to go with us, not to mention, Tallulah..."

The infected person participating in the meeting glanced at Tallulah and stopped talking.

"It doesn't matter, keep talking." Tallulah said.

"I mean, everyone is no longer like what they used to be. Those guys who haven't been here for a long time are heartless and heartless. We let them choose whether to go south or return to the snowfield. If they are willing to go together, then we will take them with us. them."

"If they return to the snowfield, do we have to distribute our supplies to them? There aren't many supplies left. If we leave them to them, it will be more difficult for us to go south."

"Then what do you think we should do?" the infected person asked, with some anger: "It's neither possible to leave nor to stay. If you continue to be trapped here, the situation will only become more dangerous. I say, leave them alone! They will follow. We didn't have any good intentions when we left, but now there is a problem. Maybe they are the fastest. Captain Bozokas is also a soldier of Ursus. Those people dare not say anything about him. Isn't it because the captain is too strong? "

"Watch your attitude, infected person!" the shield guard said coldly, grabbing the infected person's collar.

"Did I say something wrong?!" The infected person stared at the shield guard and asked stubbornly.

"Let him go, Shield Guard." Patriot said.

The shield guard let go of his hand and gave the infected person a serious look.

"Tallulah, tell me what you think?"

The Patriot looked at Tallulah again. Under normal circumstances, she would have been the one to stop him.

But she didn't do that, and she didn't even pay much attention to the argument. She was thinking about other things, and Patriot could tell.

"I……"

Everyone in the conference room looked in Tallulah's direction, and she paused briefly.

"Everyone has been holding their breath since the previous incident happened. I can see it and can guess the reason."

she said so.

"Those present, I believe you all have your own opinions, and you are saying this out of the safety of our team and future considerations. I can understand it, but what you said is indeed correct. The current situation in the camp , I guess I have to be responsible."

"So what I mean is that those who want to go south with us continue to go south, and those who don't want to follow don't have to force it. If they choose to leave, we should leave half of the supplies for them. No matter how much we have left, we have to Go do it."

"Tallulah..."

"The team will continue to go south, Mr. Patriot, I hope you can agree with my idea."

"This will make the situation of the soldiers more difficult in the future. Tallulah, you should understand that your actions will make the team going south have opinions about you."

"I understand, but I still insist on doing it."

"How many people do you think will follow you south?"

"Even if there are only a few people, I will not change my mind." Tallulah said: "But this does not mean that we give up on the infected people in the snowfield. No, I will not give up on anyone. I believe that when we can As the south gains a foothold, the infected people in the snowfield will continue to choose to go south. I believe there will be a day."

"Even if that's just your fantasy?"

"Everything that has not been achieved is an illusion at the beginning, Mr. Patriot, even if that day may not come, if we are indifferent, that day will never come."

"..."

That's when the knock on the door sounded.

When people looked over, they happened to see Chen Mo standing at the door. He had just retracted his hand and faced everyone's gaze, including Snow Monster, Frost Star, Patriot, Shield Guard and Tallulah, participating in this meeting. of all people.

He opened his mouth.

"I saw that there was no one outside, so I came in without permission. Did I not disturb your meeting?"

He said this with a very calm expression.

So everyone looked at him with different expressions as he walked into the room, and the meeting stopped. The strange thing is that no one felt that he shouldn't be here.

Because the Patriot didn't stop him, Tallulah's eyes just followed him as he came in. She had something to say, but in the conference room, in front of everyone, she didn't speak after all.

"Chen?...You're awake."

The one who said this was the snow monster Yange. No one is having a good time these days. Kondrasa died at the hands of the inner guards. He was once a member of the snow monsters. For the snow monsters and frost For a star, it's like losing a relative.

"Well, I made you worry." He said, looking at the Patriot again. "Presumptuous."

"No problem." Patriot replied, as if acknowledging his identity in participating in this meeting.

She looked at Tallulah again, who nodded slightly, then looked around.

"I know that for everyone present, what I say may not be easy for you to believe. I have also listened to your arguments just now. Can you please listen to my opinion?"

------

"That's what you promised them? How can you be sure that the ones here won't be exposed?"

After the meeting, Tallulah asked on the way back.

She walked beside Chen Mo. There was still snow on the ground that had not yet melted. The way back was not long, but from a certain perspective, it was so long that it was impossible to see the end.

"I'm not sure, but since the inner guards can find you, they must be paying attention to your actions, so no matter where you are, it's the same, and since they came alone, it means they don't care about what's going on here. The infected people are alive and well, so naturally they won’t go to great lengths to reveal your information to the local garrison. If they did, you wouldn’t be able to persist for so long.”

"This doesn't make sense. Maybe they just weren't prepared this time and they may not use this method next time."

"It's possible, but for the infected people in the camp now, what they need is safety."

"Safety is not a lie," Tallulah said.

"...Yes." Chen Mo replied, and he stopped: "I know you don't want to lie to the infected, but sometimes, people need lies, and they need someone to tell them, to make them feel that they can do it. Doing this is not a lie, Tallulah, because any ideal can be just a verbal promise and an illusory thing before it is achieved."

"I can't argue with you." Tallulah sighed, seemingly unwilling to continue arguing with Chen Mo.

"You can't defeat me because you know in your heart that what I say is right."

"That's just your fallacy. I don't admit it." Tallulah tilted her head. Chen Mo didn't answer. After a while, she turned back and said, "What really surprises me is that Mr. Patriot didn't oppose you."

"I'm not surprised."

"why?"

"Well, probably because, to a certain extent, he and I are the same type of people."

"What do you mean?"

"It means that none of us have expectations for too good things, but we feel that it is not a bad thing."

"Ok?"

"Well, what I want to say is that the Patriot probably really hopes that you can succeed. Although he is not optimistic about this matter, he knows that your idea is not wrong. Maybe, I mean maybe, he also regrets it. Maybe."

"Regret?" Tallulah was stunned for a moment, as if she didn't expect Chen Mo to say that.

Chen Mo did not continue this topic.

"Remember the last time we brought that up?"

"You mean the Kazdale one?"

"Yes, it's time for me to go."

"When do you plan to leave?"

"tomorrow."

Tallulah froze for a moment.

"So urgent."

"We can't drag it on any longer, otherwise the situation will get worse and worse. No matter what the outcome is, we have to give it a try. At least what you said is right. If we remain indifferent, we will never accomplish anything."

Chapter 56 Justice and Integrity ([-])

[If you are too kind, the world will chew you to pieces... So people must learn to give up. Wise giving up is often better than blind persistence. When you truly see the land you are in, you will You will understand what I mean... Tallulah...]