Longmen Memoirs

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April 2

Today is really not a good weather for traveling. It is raining lightly in the sky, intermittently, and the beast of burden neighing uneasily with the camping tools on its back.

Not far away, Frost Star was bidding farewell to the snow monsters.

Not many people came to see him off, there were a few new faces, most of them could be called by their names. Chen Mo still stayed here for too short. He actually wanted to stay longer. He was actually not a person who liked the excitement too much. .

Tallulah stretched out her hand to straighten the collar of his cloak. There was reluctance in her eyes. It was obviously a simple action, but she spent too much time. Chen Mo saw her thoughts. Alina stood behind him. A few steps, looking in their direction.

Her hands were gently placed in front of her, as if she were the first time they met, Elafia was as quiet and gentle as ever.

The long gray hair fluttered slightly in the cold wind.

Chen Mo finally spoke up.

"...I'll come back again, and I'll be back in a while." He said.

Tallulah's fingers paused, and she slowly retracted her hand.

"I know, I just..."

"Nothing bad, Tallulah."

Chen Mo looked at the girl in front of him. She lowered her head slightly. Her once clean and bright eyes suddenly became much darker, as if it was an illusion. The responsibilities that had been placed on her during this period were too heavy, and she was unable to do anything about it. Take a breath so you can relax.

She should know that this kind of thing can only happen more in the future. If they don't want to stop, it will never decrease.

“We can’t have everything, but don’t worry, we can’t have nothing either.”

Chen Mo said softly.

Tallulah looked up at him.

"You have done a good job, but there are some things that you alone cannot decide. Those things should be left to them. What do you look like in their eyes? You can decide for them. They do, but you can't expect everyone to agree with you because of this. There will always be some people who can't stand it, and there will always be some voices who will always stand by your side."

"Including you?"

"Including many people, including me, including Alina, including those who still trust you after knowing your identity so far, and the only thing you need to do now is not to betray their trust."

I don't know when, maybe Chen Mo has already understood that he is no longer the most special one to Tallulah, nor is he no longer an indispensable person.

Tallulah suddenly fell silent.

Maybe it was because of Chen Mo's words, or maybe because she understood Chen Mo's words. She had so much helplessness and debt in her heart, but she couldn't make up for it or repay it.

Tallulah could only choose to remain silent.

They knew something well in silence, but pretended they didn't know anything. It was better than using this as an excuse to stay by each other's side.

"I know you can understand these truths, Xiaota, but I am telling you to tell you that nothing will be forgotten, and there is nothing to worry about losing. What is lost can be returned, and what has collapsed can be rebuilt. The most important thing is The most important thing is that you are all still alive, hope will never be cut off, and living is a kind of hope."

Of course, living is a kind of hope. Chen Mo knows this very well, because when a person dies, he is dead. He does not care about leaving his things to future generations. Even if someone inherits everything from him, the dead person will not He will come back, and the regrets he leaves behind will always be regrets.

Only when people are alive can they suffer, and only when they are alive can they ask for more.

Chen Mo thought, when did he understand this truth? Maybe it was after meeting the wild cat in Londinium that he suddenly realized that living in itself is worth all the sacrifices. It turns out that the dead are, Really dead.

"I remember." Tallulah nodded. She took a breath and took two steps back: "I...we will wait for you and Frost Star to come back. No matter what the outcome is, remember to come back early."

"it is good."

She looked at Alina aside.

"Do you want to say something, Alina?"

"Take care along the way, Chen." Alina said, glanced at Tallulah beside her and added: "And... I will keep an eye on Tallulah for you. Remember to go home early."

"Alina?!"

"Tell the truth." Alina blinked: "But then again, it seems that Tallulah has always been taking care of me, and now I can finally help everyone."

"...Thank you. I will also bring you some new brushes, Alina, and the books you need for the class. I will try to bring some if it is convenient this time. Do you have any requirements?"

"No, I believe in your vision, Chen, so I'll say thank you in advance. I'm really sorry that I have to ask you to worry about my affairs."

"It doesn't matter, these aren't too much trouble."

"That's what I said, but you seem to have forgotten someone?" Alina reminded in a low voice, glancing at Tallulah lightly.

Chen Mo didn't wait to realize what he was saying before he spoke.

"I don't need anything," Tallulah said.

In fact, from Tallulah's point of view, she already wanted enough. Chen Mo's trip to Kazdaele alone was his biggest need. Apart from that, Tallulah didn't want to ask him to do more. .

"real?"

"Seriously, don't look at me like that, I'm not a child anymore."

Chen Mo felt a little regretful.

"That's really a pity."

Tallulah looked at him angrily.

"I don't know what you're feeling sorry for."

When Shuangxing came over, Chen Mo and Tallulah had just finished speaking.

"Have you finished saying goodbye?" Chen Mo asked. He looked in the direction where Frost Star came from. After noticing the Patriot's gaze, he nodded slightly.

He and the Wendigo didn't need much communication, because to some extent he was right about Tallulah, they were indeed the same kind of people.

The same kind of person who regrets the mistakes he has made but cannot turn back and can only keep moving forward, so it is difficult to return.

"Well, where are you?"

"Yes." Chen Mo said, and asked: "Do you have anything else to say to Tallulah?"

Froststar looked at Tallulah, hesitated and then shook his head.

"It still doesn't work. She's better at this than me." Shuangxing said, and then added after a pause: "It's not too late to talk about it later when we get back."

"Then I'll wait for you to come back, Yelena."

"It won't be long, Tallulah. The snow monsters will be left to you for the time being. Please take care of them for me."

"no problem."

In the hazy drizzle, Chen Mo held the reins of the beast of burden. Under the dark sky, he and Shuangxing thought about walking outside the village until their figures were gradually submerged at the end of the increasingly blurred vision.

Until they completely disappeared.

Tallulah kept staring in that direction, and she suddenly remembered a lot of things about her childhood. In fact, she couldn't remember those things clearly anymore, but she still vaguely remembered the rainy and foggy scenes, and she remembered looking out of the window in the rain. The mist as I look toward the tall buildings in Longmen in the distance.

Many years ago, when she was still very young, she once thought that Longmen would become her home, and that one day she would be able to have a new family of her own in that cold city.

Many years later, until now, she finally felt how hasty the change of time was. It seemed that before she could come back to her senses, many things had already happened. It seemed that when she finally came back to her senses, those things that had happened could no longer be understood. Start all over again.

"They're gone, Tallulah."

Alina's voice woke up Tallulah who was lost in memories. When she came back to her senses, she realized that Chen Mo's figure had been lost in her sight. For a moment, she wanted to catch up.

An unfounded idea, an idea that she didn't know where it came from.

She wants to catch up.

She could no longer watch Chen Mo go away. She could no longer force herself to wait for him to come back. After waiting day after day, she finally knew that he would never come back.

She couldn't do that as a child, she couldn't control her own destiny as a child, but Tallulah didn't lift her steps in the end, she stayed where she was.

Yes, she couldn't do it when she was a child, but when she grows up, she won't do what she did when she was a child.

She has her own career, her life no longer belongs to her, she still has unfinished ideals, and she will not stop and look back for one person.

Never again.

"I heard about Kondrasha, and I'm sorry."

The frost stars on the road were very quiet. The white rabbit walked quietly in the increasingly muddy snow. The falling drizzle hit her thick cloak. She held the reins of the beast of burden in her hand.

Chen Mo's words broke the silence on the road. Shuangxing paused for a moment, but she did not stop or turn her head.

"If you said this to me because of Tallulah, I don't need it. I haven't reached the point where I can't distinguish the right from wrong and anger others. Kondrasa is my brother. He was also one of my subordinates, and he died under the enemy's attack to protect his comrades. Sooner or later, I will personally seek revenge from them."

Shuangxing's words were cold, and the hand holding the reins was tightly squeezed. Chen Mo couldn't see the look in White Rabbit's eyes, but he knew that she was angry at this moment. Maybe she was angry with herself because she failed to protect her. His own brother.

She would probably be this kind of person.

People who often value the lives of others more than their own, and those people are her relatives, even if there is no blood relationship between them.

"so……"

The atmosphere became colder, like this wet and cold east rain.

Seemingly aware of the indifference in his words, after a brief moment of silence, Shuangxing spoke up.

"Feel sorry."

"No need to apologize, I understand."

"Let's talk about Kazdale, otherwise the journey down here will be too long, here." She said, stretching out her hand to Chen Mo, spreading it out to reveal the candy in her palm.

Chen Mo did not refuse.

"I made it myself. Tallulah asked me how many times I wanted it before, but her tongue, which has been trained to be cunning, can't get used to this taste."

Chen Mo failed to tell Carters that he actually had some similar candies in his bag, which Tallulah specially brought to him the night before departure.

"You want to hear..."

Before he could finish his words, the remaining words were filled with the spicy taste that suddenly bloomed in his mouth. Chen Mo was too embarrassed to show a confused expression, and he didn't dare to spit out the candy in his mouth. At the same time, he didn't hold too much about the things in his bag. Looking forward to it.

Shuangxing seemed to have known this would happen, so when Chen Mo's words suddenly stopped, she looked at Chen Mo deliberately in confusion.

"No, hiss, it's nothing."

-【,

"Isn't it spicy?"

"……good."

"No need to hold on, my illness and spells make my body temperature lower than normal, so this level of taste is just right for me."

"Yes, is it?"

Chen Mo didn't want to admit that he was played by Shuangxing, a small and innocuous prank, probably to retaliate against himself for testing Shuangxing's thoughts with the Kondelasha incident.

She was still a little dissatisfied with this.

Chen Mo, who wanted to understand this, only admitted that he was asking for trouble, but Shuangxing was still a little soft-hearted after all.

"It's okay to spit it out."

"It doesn't matter." Chen Mo said, "Just get used to it, it's a lesson."

"..."

"……Feel sorry."

"I can understand it, Chen." Shuangxing said, "If it were me, I might do the same thing as you. I know you wouldn't really think that way, but I would still feel a little unhappy. You... What do you want me to say, do you ever feel that you are a little too careful sometimes?"

"But it's not a bad thing." Chen Mo replied.

"There's no need to do this to everyone, Chen. Isn't it too tiring to live?"

"Someone told me this before, but I can't remember exactly who said it."

"How did you answer?"

"How can I still remember what I said at that time?" Chen Mo shook his head and added: "Now I have thought of something temporarily. Do you want to listen?"

"Tell me?"

"...Ahem." Chen Mo cleared his throat and spoke in a pronunciation-like voice: "Sometimes it's not necessarily a good thing to live too smart, and sometimes it's not necessarily a good thing to live too stupid, but people are the best." This is actually what is difficult to distinguish. I don’t know when I should be smart and when I should be confused. I am confused when I should be smart, but smart when I am confused. People who do this often end up badly.”

"I mumbled a lot, but no one could understand a word I said." Shuangxing asked with a frown. "Don't play riddles, what do you mean?"

"It means that no one can live an easy life, Frost Star, no matter how we live, people like us cannot live an easy life."

"Hey, why do I think you just made it up temporarily? It sounds reasonable, but in the end few of it is true."