Longmen Memoirs

You won't suddenly change your views and attitudes towards someone because of a few empty words from an unimportant person.

It is worth mentioning that Scout officially became Chen Mo's roommate. Although he said it was temporary, Chen Mo did not reveal his purpose, and Scout did not directly explain why he suddenly moved here.

Scout is a very well-spoken Sakaz. Rather, his character is more like a pure Colombian. He is casual yet cautious, optimistic and talkative. He is more like a person from Colombia than most Colombians. A free and open country, but he is Sakaz, and the identity of Sakaz will accompany him throughout his life.

When people see him, they don't want to try to understand him, but because of his identity as Sakaz, they naturally feel disgusted.

But for Chen Mo, the current scout, in addition to his identity as Sakaz, has become his friend, a friend with a surveillance meaning.

The communication between people does not have to be too pure. There is no pure friendship in the world, but as long as they do not come with malicious intentions, they can generally be called friends.

If you look at it from a simple perspective, Scout may not be considered a good person. His hands are stained with the blood of countless people. The gun that came from a Satak man in Rutland is enough to explain a lot of things. Chen Mo probably I will never forget what Scout said to me during the attack from inside the camp and from other forces.

Some sins have to be shouldered by someone.

Scout is not the first person to choose to do this, and certainly will not be the last.But for him, maybe he just wants to find a goal that makes him feel meaningful. Compared with dying somewhere casually as a mercenary, this is probably enough to make him feel satisfied.

He can't choose his own birth, nor can he undo the sins he committed through killing in the past, but he can still choose who to be, how to make amends, and what to die for.

As Chen Mo told Kelsey, Chen Mo is not a Sakaz or a Kazdaele. He does not understand and cannot feel Sakaz’s desire for the end of chaos, as well as his slim expectations and hopes for the future. Hope, but many people in this camp all have the same hope.

Just thinking about this kind of expectation makes people feel heavy. This kind of gaze that embodies people's desire and longing may one day become one of the sources of crushing that person.

The steel-framed bed in the Sakaz camp was not as comfortable as the black steel dormitory, but it inevitably evoked Chen Mo's past memories. This memory extended from the resettlement camp to the orphanage. For several years, he stayed on such a simple bed. I spent my happiest time, looking forward to tomorrow’s sunrise, and started to dream about my future life after sunset.

After Scout came in, he first took off his cloak, took off the gun from his back and hung it on the bedside. He said it was for surveillance, but in fact, except for the fact that Scout would give an answer when Kelsey asked, he undoubtedly played a role. The role of a good roommate.

A few bags of military rations with Colombian markings were scattered on the empty wooden box that was used as a wooden table next to the bed. The curled box revealed the cigarettes inside.

He took one out and sat on his bed, lighting it without saying a word.

His bed was opposite Chen Mo. When Chen Mo came in, he saw Scout sitting by the bed and the scattered cigarette butts at his feet.

"What's wrong?" Chen Mo asked.

"I'm back, it's nothing."

The cigarette was burning between his fingers, but the weak firelight failed to attract his attention. He turned his head slightly and glanced at Chen Mo at the door, and then smiled after realizing it. "Don't worry, I'm fine."

"I saw the wounded returning." Chen Mo walked to the bed and sat down: "Did something happen to your people?"

"It's not a big problem. We were attacked by a mercenary group on the way back." He threw away the cigarette and stamped it out with his foot, but the smoke was still lingering.

"Fortunately, the support came in time and all the wounded were transferred back."

Chen Mo's eyes looked at the gun hanging on the bedside, the faint smell of gunpowder smoke mixed with the smoke, the fatigue on Scout's face and the dried blood between his fingers.

"The royal family's army is still the mercenary group under the lord. It seems that they are very close."

"It's probably the latter. We may be about to move before the regent's army surrounds us. It won't be so easy this time. Since His Highness left the committee, our situation has been getting worse day by day."

"Committee, you didn't mention it to me."

"Because His Highness doesn't want us to mention it to the people in the camp, but we all know it, and His Highness also knows it." Scout said: "As long as His Highness is alive, the regent and his army will not let us go easily."

"But you won't compromise."

"Unless we die, we have already chosen His Highness. As long as His Highness is here, we will keep fighting until the day we die."

There was unquestionable determination in his eyes, but he seemed to be convincing himself.

Later, Chen Mo learned that Scout and his men were used as bait by the doctor, and were used as bait to lure the local lord's mercenary team without knowing it. Scout personally killed two of his men who were seriously injured and could not be taken away. subordinates.

That's why he remained silent.

Because after the follow-up support troops arrived and wiped out the mercenary group, Scout finally understood this fact, but he could not say anything because he knew it was correct. Reason told him that this judgment was not wrong. Sacrifice a team and expose The threat of potential targets is undoubtedly worth it. What really makes Scout angry and helpless is that his subordinates, the subordinates who were sacrificed in that conflict, did not know why they died. They died in an unclear manner, even They are not trusted by others, because if the news is told to them in advance, there is no guarantee that they will not leak it, and the consequences of leaking it means that this siege may turn into a disaster.

From a tactical point of view, there is nothing wrong with Scout and his team being kept unaware of being used as bait.

But when life can be regarded as a series of cold numbers by conspiracy and conspiracy, no matter how noble words it is later given, it cannot conceal its cheap nature. It is better to say that life is not precious in the first place, but only among a limited number of people. In the eyes, it seems important.

Chen Mo only knew that Scout stayed in the room for a long time. He stared at his palms stained with dried blood and the gun hanging on the bedside several times, but made no movement.

That night, Scout never fell asleep or spoke. He stared blankly at the ceiling above his head in the darkness. No one knew what this optimistic Sakaz man who suddenly became quiet was thinking.

He was not hysterical, nor argued, nor even shed a tear, but Chen Mo knew that there was an unpredictable sadness and anger hidden in his heart, as well as the helplessness and powerlessness after the anger.

Just like the day 052 left, Chen Mo didn't know why he remembered this. In fact, he almost couldn't remember it anymore, but Scout's appearance reminded him of himself.

Everything will pass. No matter what happened, it will pass sooner or later one day, just like the sun rises and sets. But those things that have happened will always be remembered by the living and will not be forgotten until death.

Chen Mo didn't know if the scout who chose this path would feel unworthy of his men and the people who sacrificed for it, but maybe they never had time to consider this issue.

Scout was later regarded as Kazdaele's hero, but he didn't think so himself. He didn't think he was a hero. This title should belong to those who had sacrificed long ago, those unknown little people.

While the big shots greeted them with flowers and cheers, their bones were buried forever under the heavy soil of Kazdaele soaked in blood and gunpowder smoke.

Chapter 84 The war continues ([-]) The process of history

Perhaps in retrospect, what made Chen Mo really make his decision was the tranquility and sadness he saw on Scout's face that day.

His Highness does not expect Kazdare to start another war. There is nothing wrong with the idea of ​​bleeding due to war. This war should end. It came from the war and should end in the war.

Katzdale cannot usher in real peace without bloodshed. Compromise and escape can never solve problems. People always have to face reality, instead of holding on to a beautiful vision that is so far away that it can only exist in imagination, but it fails to live up to those. People who fell because of this.

Even if Theresia is not actually a weak person, even if she just has no more choices because of the disaster of Originium Disease.

As Scout said, the temporary camp soon began to move, this time moving further away from Kazdaele.

The long team wandered on the yellow sand and Gobi desert of Qazdare, and the faces under the cloaks were haggard and tired. In fact, there were not many things to be happy about in the Sakaz camp, at least for a group of people displaced by the war. Although they can see smiles and hope in their daily lives, they are more confused and worried, even His Highness.

Scout recovered quickly. After a few days, he returned to his Colombian optimism and talkativeness. However, Chen Mo always felt that there were some changes in him. Compared with when he first met Scout, he mentioned the future and His Highness less. words.

He hid everything deep in his heart, including his guilt and helplessness.

People can't always move forward with sadness and the past. If so, it will be difficult to move forward. Chen Mo couldn't help Scout. Even his idea of ​​joining Scout's investigation team was rejected as soon as he said it. The order came from Kelsey.

Unless there is another attack like last time, Chen Mo will not be able to help the migrating team this time. He cannot participate in the decision-making process and does not have enough qualifications. He is like an outsider and a guest to the Sakaz camp. .

As if he was an observer specially sent by Black Steel International to Theresa's lineup, Chen Mo began to get used to this identity, and also got used to integrating into the lives of the Sakaz people, and observing their difficult but gorgeous parliaments and academic halls in Colombia. The Sakaz people are defined in a completely different way.

Cruel, cunning, vicious, worse than pigs and dogs, hard-hearted... They are the same when talking about infected people. It is a big lie but it is taken for granted due to the lack of information, people's indifference, and racial barriers. It is a pity that they carry it with them. Theresa, who had such ideals, would eventually face her failure.

Everyone has drawn their ideas from the Source Stone engine. They have their own faces, and they no longer just let it go. Therefore, when the Source Stone is flooding, this land will become increasingly sick, because for the Source Stone Shi's dependence prompted the birth of the infected.

People can never avoid and solve this problem, so letting the infected disappear and curing the Source Stone disease is a false proposition from the beginning. In order to cure the Source Stone disease, we have to rely on the power of the Source Stone and at the same time evolve more infected people. .

No one will give up their own interests. The greedy nobles and emperors and lords will kill the guy who gave birth to this terrible idea. The monopoly of capital and the big businessmen of Colombia may see business opportunities in it and save a country that could have been saved. Drugs for the infected evolved into new shackles.

What controls this land is never simply the Originium Disease and the so-called infected. What controls this land is the non-infected, those high-ranking big shots, people's thoughts, fear, and rumors.

Unless the world is destroyed, cities are devastated, Source Stones are spread all over the earth, and the Demon King with a black crown on his head boils thousands of creatures into memories and the past, then nothing can be changed by a single fire.

It can only be a place of refuge for a few people, an ideal Avalon and a utopia.

Unless someone can start a war, and in the flames of war, transform the complete Kazdaele into a possible soil and deliver it to the person who should belong to her.

Unless Victoria, Ursus, Yanguo, Letania...unless those countries can abandon their past grievances in the cracks, but this is impossible, lunatics, madmen, speculators and slave owners, nobles and monarchs?

It's ridiculous if they can really be so open-minded and understanding.

Kelsey had given up on this path long ago, but now Chen Mo inevitably thinks of it. The birth of an immature idea may often just happen in a thought, and gradually evolves due to witnessing and repeated overturning and redefinition. turned into ideas.

June 1086, 10, Crystalline Era

In the past month, he and Theresa had been able to communicate a few times, but they were unable to talk more because of Kelsey's presence. Since the conversation last night, this was the first time Chen Mo had anything to do with her. A chance to be alone with Theresa.

The tense and urgent atmosphere that filled the Sakaz camp some time ago was not felt much by her. She was always so calm and crystal-like, making people feel dazzling.

But after this meeting, Chen Mo had different emotions.Maybe it was because he already knew what happened to the Scout team from the camp, and maybe those comments about the doctor gave him a different view of this place.

And all of this is tied to Theresia in front of him, because Chen Mo doesn't think Theresia is unclear about what the doctor has done, or the opinions about the doctor that are circulating in the Sakaz camp, but she Let the doctor stay here, which further strengthened what Chen Mo said to Kelsey.

The people in this camp had different thoughts and purposes, and Theresa who gathered them was far from being as simple as she let on.

Chen Mo was not disgusted with Theresa's thoughts, but after thinking deeply, he could no longer agree with them. What's funny is that Theresa didn't need his inconsequential approval.

Theresia looked a little depressed, maybe it was just an illusion.

Chen Mo didn't bring up the topic first, and Theresia didn't speak either. The heavy knife was placed in the corner beside the bed, and even the black and white mark of BSW on the scabbard had become blurry.

The lighting in the simple wooden house is not very good, but it is enough to see the tall tower outside the window.

Chen Mo had already changed out of the Black Steel International operator uniform. He was wearing Scout's old black coat. The coat was a bit too big. It was altered by a Sakaz woman later and the stitching was very good.

That green face looked a lot more mature during this period of wandering life with the Sakaz. In fact, his own face was not considered immature. It was just because he hadn't cleaned it up for a long time, and there was a growth on his chin. There is some stubble, and the black hair is denser.

The rough palms were covered with dirty bandages with scars from being involved in building houses and construction sites, and black dirt and mud could be seen in the gaps between the nails.

Not sloppy, but not neat either.

ps: This is the psychological journey of Chen Mo, a bystander, and the process of "falling in love" with Theresia.It’s just the first half of Kazdale, and the second half is where you’re a participant, you have the sugar but you’re not in a hurry.

ps2: py a book "The Wrong Ways to Strategy for Childhood Sweethearts". The author is a very spiritual girl, and the introduction is also very spiritual. The knife is a real knife, and the sweetness is really sweet.

Chapter 85 Flow and Splitting

What I love and what I love, I just lost these, it’s not a big deal.

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After a while, Theresia finally spoke.

"Mr. Chen Mo, aren't you curious why I came here?"

She still kept the slightly respectful and slightly distant title, but Chen Mo was used to it. He met many people in this camp, including Aradush, Komochi, Aisha, Scout, and many others. Sakaz and non-Sakaz people whom I cannot name but do know.

They gather here for various different or the same reasons, including soldiers, civilians, women, and children. They don't care where others are from or why they are here.

The reason why they gathered here is not that noble. They just want to live and maybe live a better life. At least compared to the lords and nobles, Theresia is a benevolent lord, even if she does not have a piece of land that can be called On your own territory.

"Your Highness is ready to tell me."

Chen silently handed the instant coffee brewed with hot water from the teapot on the stove to the table in front of Theresia. This was one of the supplies provided to him and Scout by logistics, but the life here was not that rich.

"Thank you."

Theresia politely thanked him, but did not pick up the metal cup. Her eyes first noticed Chen Mo's rough hands, the black marks on his fingernails and the scars under the bandages.

No disgust or resistance was shown.

"Mr. Chen Mo seems to have become a little different." She looked at Chen Mo's face and asked, a little confused: "But I can't tell where the change has occurred. Speaking of which, I actually don't know you very well."

"To talk about changes, I think I look a little sloppy now, which makes you laugh, Your Highness."

"No." Theresa shook her head: "I heard that Mr. Chen Mo has been helping people in the camp. You have done a lot of things that I thought but failed to do."

"Ms. Kelsey told you?"

"In your eyes, am I just a lord who is ignorant and indifferent to what is happening around me?" She said in a semi-blaming tone, as if she was dissatisfied.

"I just didn't expect you to care about such a small thing." Chen Mo said. "But apart from this, I can't think of anything else I can do."

Theresia picked up the cup. As the heat filled the air, she blew lightly and took a sip. It seemed a little hot. She hurriedly put down the cup and covered her mouth with her fingers.

Chen Mo did not expect Theresia to show such a careless side. Perhaps the word careless should not appear on Theresia.

"I'm rude, Mr. Chen Mo."

"It's okay." Chen Mo looked away slightly, but still couldn't help but want to turn around and look at Theresia. When he realized this, Chen Mo immediately changed the subject.

"You haven't told me why you came here?"

"Because I want to find a place that is not so boring. After thinking about it, it seems that Mr. Chen Mo is the only place that is suitable. I also want to come over and thank you for everything you have done for us during this time. Although I know You may not agree with our philosophy.”

Her answer was straightforward but sincere.

"You know my purpose may not be so pure."

"I know." Theresa nodded slightly, the heat of the coffee wafting over the cup: "But I am the same, I know why some things happen, but I can't change or stop it."

Chen Mo paused, and she remembered what happened to Scout and his team.

Theresia is not a simple person. She knows very well what the people below her are thinking, and she also knows why those things happened. It is impossible for him to not know that he used the camp as a bait in order to lure out the Regent's spies, and it is impossible for him to She didn't know what the doctor had done, but she chose to acquiesce, and in people's hearts, she was still the kind, upright and kind Theresia.

Chen Mo didn't say that it wasn't Theresa's fault. She couldn't have been wrong, but often the king had someone who would bear the blame for him. In people's minds, he might be a heinous person, but the king had no idea about it.

is it possible?Except for those weak and incompetent monarchs, Theresia, who was admired and relied on, was obviously not that kind of person.