I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

Kaname Rana felt the burning gaze from behind her. Was that Chitose looking at her?

【Woo.】

Lenai didn't dare look back. She didn't like the feeling of being entangled by memories.

【Anyway, I can still see you again, right? 】

You must live a safe and stable life in your hometown, and you must come back to see me.

It's sunny outside today, but Lenai's heart is so sad.

Because she didn't know how to live without Qiansui.

She barely slept last night, just thinking about how happy they used to be and now...

What should I do without you?

You are about to leave, and my dreams will go with you.

I know there is no point in thinking about it anymore, but I also know that my days will be filled with pain after losing you.

Will you forget me? Will you remember me as I remember you?

You will forget me.

I know I'm about to lose a deep love and a good friend. Please... tell me... what will happen to me without you.

……

Time is merciless, and every minute and second is an unbearable curse. Sometimes, Yagura Nai envies the mayfly.

Every second of the short-lived species seems more valuable and colorful. They do not have to endure the constant torture of a long life, and do not need to care about separation and farewell.

Because they only have one day to live.

On a summer day, on a bench outside the airport, Lenai was holding a bunch of wild flowers she had picked.

She pulled her ivory sunhat low on her head to protect it from the scorching sun.

"Can we wait till Xiaosui today?"

Chitose Haizuka doesn't have a smartphone, so even if we're separated, we can't keep in touch often.

Their only way of communicating was by writing letters, and what Lenai was holding in her hand at the moment was the first and last letter Chitose sent to her.

"Huh, years old."

Summer vacation is finally here. When will you come to see me?

Kaname Lenai would wander outside the airport every day with her guitar on her back, hoping to meet Chitose Haizuka as soon as possible.

During the days and nights when the girl was away, Rakuna could only sleep holding the yukata worn by both Chitose Noshiro and Chitose Haizuka.

She longed to see him again.

"So, come back soon."

While waiting as usual, Lena felt sleepy, but she didn't want to fall asleep at all.

A few months ago, just a few days after they parted, Kaname Rakuna received a letter from Chitose Noshiro.

That night, Lenai was so excited that she fell asleep in the middle of the night, but she had a nightmare that she would never forget.

The dream was so real that Lenai couldn't forget even a single detail of it.

"call."

It was a gorgeous yet rotten dream.

Kaname Lenai dreamed of the day when she was accused of being "too strong".

In the dream, water suddenly seeped from the stage floor, moss grew in the auditorium, and the crowd dispersed.

Kaname Lenai's guitar strings were all stained with black and red blood, which at first glance looked a bit like the blood coughed up by Sister Chitose.

In the dream, Chitose Haizuka was the only one by his side.

And from a certain moment, Lenai's guitar strings began to break.

Every time a string breaks, part of Huizuka Chitose's appearance fades and ages.

When the last overtone sounded, the fourteen-year-old Chitose Huizuka turned into drops of falling water and dissolved in the vast rain curtain.

"What a terrible dream, really terrible."

Even though the temperature outside was high enough to fry an egg, Kaname still felt a chill down her spine.

"Fortunately, it was just a dream."

In the promised summer, I wait for my old friend to return.

Ch388. Amidst the chirping of cicadas, your broken promise

Will Chitose Haizuka come today?

I waited from the scorching sun until dusk, but never saw the person returning.

Want Lenai to be alone forever.

That her... seemed to be really like the burning tobacco, having turned into wisps of green smoke and disappeared in the strong wind.

【Not even a trace remains.】

"Except this letter."

The warm orange sun at dusk shone brightly on the letter paper. Lenai's thumb rubbed the letter paper repeatedly. She had memorized every paragraph, every sentence and even every word on it.

"That's too much."

Carrying the guitar on his back, Lenai, who no longer needed to wear a sun hat, let it hang behind him.

"I sent you so many letters, but you didn't respond to any of them... Well, you only sent me one letter. You're so mean, Wildcat."

Lenai had to work her way back to send the letter to the other party based on the address sent by Chitose, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to find the other party's address.

The huge setting sun was still setting beside him. As he walked home, Lenai hopped on the grid and murmured:

"Dear Kaname Lenai, this is my first time writing to you, and I don't know what to say, so I'll just update you on my recent life."

Le Nai recited what Chitose had written, and her eyes couldn't help but become moist.

[It’s infuriating, so infuriating! ]

"I haven't had good weather since I returned to my hometown. I wanted to play the guitar for a while, but found that the strings were broken. What bad luck!"

Lenai could already see her little home not far away.

The lights were on but there was no family member inside.

Grandma went away recently, saying that my mother in London was not feeling well.

Before she left, she asked Lenai if she wanted to go with her.

Lenai shook her head and said she was waiting for her wild cat to come home.

"I've prepared a lot of strings for you, waiting for you to come to Tokyo to get them. Why haven't you come back yet?"

When she entered the room, she carefully put the letter back into the envelope. In her mind, Chitose's voice was automatically playing the contents of the letter.

There are wild cats encountered on the road, in the trees and at the foot of the mountain; there are snails and ants all over the garden at home; there are clouds in the sky every day but I feel like my heart is also covered by the clouds.

Chitose wrote a lot, but Kaname just felt it wasn't enough.

It took several minutes to read the more than 3,000 words written in such a casual manner, but Lenai still felt it was not enough.

I wish I could read it for a lifetime.

Asked Lenai to kick off her shoes with her heels, she bent down slightly to take off her socks, stepped on the shoes barefoot, and casually threw away the fabric that still had body temperature.

"Huh, I missed you."

He chose neither to eat nor to sleep, but asked Lenai to go upstairs and sit at his desk.

She searched over and over again trying to find some souvenirs that Chitose Haizuka had left her, but she couldn't find any.

"Is everything at Noshiro House? Then let's go back to Noshiro House and rest tonight."

Anyway, she's the only one there.

Anyway...it doesn't matter where we go.

Since the day that Chitose Huizuka left, Kaname Lenna has been wandering for countless days and months.

She has a home, two even, but she still has no home... She has been a spiritual wanderer from beginning to end.

He went downstairs incredibly quickly, ran out the door barefoot in wooden clogs, and Rakuna's mind was full of Chitose.

Chitose Haizuka, where are you?

On the way to Chitose's house, Kaname Rakuna felt a sense of déjà vu.

Did you also run along this road to find Sister Chitose when you were a child?

"Sister Chitose..."

Whenever she thought of Chitose Noshiro, who had passed away eight years ago, Kaname Rakuna was overwhelmed by a sense of guilt.

She hadn't been able to fulfill Chitose-nee's dream, her band had disbanded... and most importantly, Kaname wasn't sure if she would ever be able to continue to improve in her life.

【Just keep it this way, no need to go any further.】

The sense of relief that came from the sudden release of energy during the performance made Lenai confused.

[I feel relieved. I don't need to keep trying.]

Lenai closed her eyes and returned to a memory or a past afternoon. In the sunshine, she was running and smiling at Lenai.

What a warm feeling.

The flying hair faded to gold in memory, and faded and disappeared along with the entire image of the person. Finally, Lenai realized that all this was just a distant and ethereal dream.

When he opened his eyes again, Lenai had to face the cold and hard reality that they were not around.

When Lena finally reached Chitose's house, she didn't look for her key in her pocket.

After staring at the cherry tree beside the fence for a long time, she made a bold decision.

"Today, we have to climb inside!"

……

"It hurts."

When climbing the tree trunk, Lenai heard a cracking sound and was so scared that he almost dropped the tree and fell into the yard.

But it’s not a big problem, at least I’m in, right?

Sitting in the garden in a daze, Lenai felt depressed.

There is still no news about Chitose Haizuka, which is really worrying.

[Why is he so obsessed with Chitose Haizuka, when she is just a passing friend in his life?]

There shouldn't be too many friends like this, but why is it that Chitose Haizuka is so unforgettable to Rakuna Kaname?

"Because she would express her true emotions to me and let me feel her inner thoughts."

Do not fear me because I am mean, and do not reject me because I am sad.

Chitose Haizuka is so dreamy. She is detached and real, she cries when her heart is broken, and smiles to encourage others when she is sad.

Strong, casual, and carefree.

How should I describe you?

When Lenai turned the door handle, she was again controlled by the memories left by Chitose.

"Why don't you come back to me?"

If you don't come back to me, I will wither.

He kicked open the cardboard box in the basement and found a notebook inside that recorded his and Chitose's daily life.

Ask Lena to turn on the air conditioner in the basement. Since she met Chitose Noshiro, her diary has become more detailed.

After Chitose Noshiro left, Kaname Rakuna's life became empty, but fortunately Chitose Haizuka appeared in time to make up for it.