I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

Sometimes she even felt that she was not very good... No, she was indeed not very good. After all, professional musicians were all talented monsters.

They were once the most proud band girls in certain places, and perhaps their high school bands were also famous all over the place.

“But after becoming a professional, I’m just an ordinary person in this circle.”

Not long ago, Lenai reluctantly signed a contract with a very good agency and has abundant resources at hand.

However, she lost interest since that day.

After I let go, I no longer had any enthusiasm.

【That’s enough.】

This thought occurred to Le Na more than once when she was playing, so that each time her performance could only be considered mediocre.

"No, I don't want to think about this anymore."

She shook her head and changed her position, leaning against the tombstone to avoid the scorching sun.

"Hey, Xiaosui, do you know what my biggest regret is?"

A small part of the clouds in the sky hid behind the leaves. Lenai took out a flat iron wine bottle from his pocket.

"You haven't finished writing the song? Would you say that? It's a pity of course," Lenai closed her eyes, and even though she was an adult, she still kicked off her shoes and socks like a child.

She spilled the wine next to the tombstone.

"But, there's something even more regrettable. Um... guess again? Just guess... you didn't come back... how about this?"

Kaname shook her head and sighed regretfully:

"This is also regrettable, but what makes me most regretful after so many years is..."

If Lenai turned around, the usually cool and handsome woman would be nothing more than a child at this moment.

She hugged the old stone tablet tightly:

"I didn't get to kiss you. I'm really sorry..."

Isn’t it strange?

But all these years my mind has been filled with Chitose's lips from that night... It's so weird, I shouldn't be thinking about these things.

But in the memory, when I woke up from being drunk, Chitose's lips seemed to have magic.

They had kissed before while playing, but they didn't know the meaning when they were young, and now looking back on it, they regret it for the rest of their lives.

"Kiss me, just kiss me once, let me be kissed again."

Tears dripped onto Chitose's tombstone, and Kaname was hopelessly trapped in the quagmire of memories.

[Let me be intoxicated by the temptation of kisses until the first rays of morning sun fall on you and me, just like the night we stayed drunk.]

That day I should have kissed you secretly while the last bit of tenderness between us had not disappeared completely, while we were still living in this world.

"call--"

Trying to cheer herself up as much as possible, she wiped the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry, I can't stay here with you overnight. I have to go back to Tokyo."

"With your share... I will keep going."

……

she was.

She is better than me.

She is everything.

Ch392. You will call my name for the rest of your life

She, they... are all better than me.

They were everything, and they were gone.

"What's wrong? Are you in a bad mood today?"

Ichichi, the bandmate arranged by the agency, passed by, and Kaname shook her head, speechless.

She sat on the soft chair in the lounge, thinking for a long time before she squeezed out a few simple words:

"Not bad, at least, it's the second half of the year."

There are no old friends buried in the remaining two seasons.

Autumn and winter are the two seasons that make Kaname Lenai feel the happiest and the most painful.

The good thing is that I don’t have to eat the matcha parfait that is so disgusting that it makes me breathless. The torment is that I will start to worry about next year’s spring and summer.

[I've been terribly harmed by Noshiro Chitose and Haizuka Chitose throughout my life.]

The soft chairs in the lounge were so comfortable, just like that night when Chitose held me in his arms.

The sound of the guitar from that day still sometimes lingers in Lenai's ears. She often stares blankly, imagining things that happened in the past.

For example, now, Yao Lenai is dreaming of her first stage performance.

I don’t know if it’s because she was once accused of being too strong, but now Lenai plays the role of a good cooperator in the new band.

Only now did she realize that she had become a docile house cat, just as Chitose Haizuka had said.

[I'm so embarrassed for you guys... I'm trying so hard to be like you, but I'm becoming less and less like myself, and less like you...]

"Come back to your senses, are you really okay?"

"Uh-huh."

The corners of Lenai's eyes twitched a few times, with a hint of helplessness:

【I am in terrible condition, I am in pain, please save me. 】

"I'm fine thank you."

【But unfortunately, you can't save me. 】

When his teammates left to start rehearsing, all Lenai could do was curl up on the sofa, holding his black guitar and staring blankly.

The short white hair falls naturally, and the bangs cannot hide the plain despair that is about to overflow from the strange color.

She struggled to her feet, put down her guitar and walked to the mirror.

It was just like when I slept in the lounge of SPACE until the early hours of the morning after a failed performance, and then woke up to look in the mirror through the window.

"It turns out that it has had such a huge impact on me without me even realizing it."

Although it was not intentional, Kaname was wearing a very slim-fitting short leather motorcycle jacket with a silk ribbon shirt underneath.

It was the same outfit as when Noshiro Chitoki first met her.

She lowered her eyes, bent down, and looked at the high-waisted A-line lace skirt and thick-soled Mary Jane shoes beneath her.

"I…"

"Let's go, Lenai-chan. After today's commercial performance, you can rest for a few days. Then you can go somewhere to have fun."

"I don't know," Lenai picked up his guitar and followed his teammates, "Let's go back to sleep."

【It won’t be expected anyway. 】

[I won’t be praised anyway.]

No one's watching me anyway.

The light was shining in the passage, but Lenai only felt darkness. She took a deep breath, feeling empty inside.

"Anyway...that's it. Even on vacation, I'll be alone."

"What? What was Lenai-chan just saying?"

In response to his teammates' questions, Kaname shook his head.

"Nothing."

【Anyway, that’s what I am.】

The host's voice came from the front of the stage, buzzing like a mosquito.

This is a music festival and the sponsorship fee is not low, so the band can get very generous compensation.

Morale should have been high in the face of such a performance, but Lenai couldn't do it.

You can't expect someone who was mourning a close friend a few days ago to be cheerful in his next work, unless that person is Meursault in "The Outsider".

When Lena was immersed in her own world, the noisy voices of several teammates in front of her disturbed her and made it impossible for her to concentrate on the song she was going to perform.

[It's so noisy.]

He turned his head away, not wanting to pay attention, but in the end, he couldn't hold back his curiosity and moved forward to find out what was going on.

What on earth did they see that made them so excited?

"Wow little sister you are so cute, can I kiss your face?"

"Lingyun-chan, you're being too much. I was the one who found the little girl first, so I kissed her first."

"Huh? Abby, you're just making excuses!"

[Little sister? How strange.]

Although Lenai didn't see it clearly, he could sense the difference from the way his teammates spoke.

A few mature and steady rock band musicians are circling around a little girl. The picture is too weird.

"What little sister?"

"Huh? Rakuna-chan is actually interested? She's such a cute little sister."

The bassist moved aside so Lenai could get a better look.

Is it really that cute?

Yao Lenai was not in the mood.

[No matter how cute you are, can you be as cute as Chitose Noshiro or Chitose Haizuka... Hmm... Hmm? ]

Kaname Lenai, who had been blowing her bangs coolly, suddenly had her pupils tremble as if there was an earthquake after seeing the little girl surrounded by people.

"hiss."

Just like me when I was a kid, you were the little girl surrounded by people having their faces pinched backstage... Why do you also have a head full of silver hair?

Exquisite and cute, like a puppet, but there is a sense of old friend between her eyebrows.

"Years old?" Yao Lenai was speechless and said in a lost voice.

[There’s no mistake, it’s years old…it’s years old! ]

"Mmm?" The silver-haired girl blinked her red and gold eyes and looked at Kaname with curiosity.

"Big sister, what are you saying? I don't understand."

"..."

"It's okay, you're cute..." Choking, Lenai tried hard to hold back her tears, "Why are you here?"

[I must have seen this scene when I was a kid. How has sixteen years already passed in the blink of an eye?]

A familiar voice, a similar appearance, the girl standing before me right now, why are you...

"Let's go see the show! Come on, big sister! I love your band the most."

The little girl who looked exactly like Chitose Noshiro and Chitose Haizuka encouraged Kaname Rakuna in the same voice as theirs.

"……I."

"Leuna-chan, stop looking! It's our turn to go on stage!"

"I'm…ok."

Before leaving, Lenai kept looking back at the little girl.

"Come on, big sisters!"

"..."