I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

She seemed to hope to calm her heart in this way.

[Chitose-san, Osui... I am keeping your dreams safe.]

You guys, go with peace of mind.

I will carry all the regrets, all the troubles and pressures on my own.

Thinking of this, she suddenly wanted to cry, her nose felt sore and her throat was hoarse.

But, her daughter was watching her.

Lena must not expose her weak side like her sister Chitose, she must do better than Noshiro Chitose.

"That's great! Mom used to be so cold, but after the show she just kept playing guitar like nothing happened."

"Because, mom is also being constantly improved."

"What makes her mother perfect?"

"It's you, my daughter."

He skillfully lifted the girl up. He had been feeding her diligently, but Chitose just wouldn't gain weight.

She is still thin and small.

"Without you, I wouldn't be where I am today."

Le Nai was particularly careful to rub Chitose's cheek with the side of her face, and she was even cautious when hugging him.

As long as there was a satisfied look on that great face, Lenai would be in a good mood.

"But Mommy didn't teach me guitar today. Mommy must be a bad person."

"You can't practice every day. You're still young."

"But I love being able to hear my mother practicing during practice."

Acting coquettishly and cutely had become Noshiro Chitose's daily tricks. Every frown and smile of hers was filled with cuteness and tenderness. She tried to turn around and put her arms around Lena's neck, then dropped her head on her mother's shoulder and panted softly:

“Mom is the greatest guitarist.”

"Mom... please watch over my growth."

There was a golden light flashing in her red eyes, and Qian Sui nudged herself into Le Na's arms again: "Mom, you can continue working. Xiao Sui will not disturb Mom by hiding in your arms."

"There's nothing to do. I'm just thinking about where to take you out for fun later."

Lenai sat back down at the desk, unfolded the folded map, put on his glasses, and flipped through his old diary.

It's been said that one of the historical milestones in the development of human civilization is the emergence of written records. So, after Chitose Noshiro passed away, Kaname Rakuna began recording many events...

Is this also the beginning of Lenai's transformation from a [wild cat] to a [human]?

When Chitose came, Lenai grew up; when Chitose left, Lenai grew up again.

The movement of his hand paused, and Lenai turned his wrist to rub his daughter's little head.

The child purrs, just like a kitten.

"Thank you, Chitose."

"Huh? Why are you thanking me all of a sudden, Mom?"

【Actually, 20-year-old, I’m not just thanking you. 】

"It's okay. I've decided where to stay."

"Moving?"

"Maybe. Once you finish college, I'll retire and we can live somewhere else."

"Where to go?"

After glancing at the map, Kaname Lenai held Kaname Chitose's hand and pointed to a corner of the map:

"Hida City."

"Why are you going there? It's so far away."

"Because it's the warmest place in the world. Well...that's it."

Because that's where Chitose Huizuka is buried.

"After retirement, we can stay in Tokyo in the winter and spring and visit the Hakone Ekiden, and go to Hida in the summer and autumn. Is that acceptable to you?"

"Sure, Mom has the final say," Chitose began to yawn a little tiredly, turned around and kicked Lenai's knees a few times with her little feet, "It's also good to go to Hida."

"Why? Have you seen the local promotional animation?"

"No, I just thought that the more remote the place is, the harder it would be for Mom to buy alcohol."

The voice became smaller and smaller, and in the end, Lenai even had to prick up her ears and study the acupuncture to fully understand what Chitose meant.

"Mom...is always a dumb drunkard. She drinks and doesn't even air out the house. I'm almost fainted from the fumes...She also likes to come home from a performance and fall asleep straight away. She has no regard for personal hygiene."

“There’s a reason for that…”

He retorted quietly, asking Rakuna to hold Chitose in her arms and walk upstairs.

Qiansui has been eating less recently and has no appetite. I wonder if it’s because of the change of seasons.

What should we feed our children? It is a real headache.

"what reason?"

Because no one cared about me before.

"It's okay, I will change in the future. Please don't hate your mother, okay."

She took every step very cautiously, fearing that it would disturb Xiaosui's rest, and asked Lenai to keep her voice within a comfortable whisper.

"I don't hate my mother, even though she's stupid."

With his eyes half-closed, Chitose rubbed towards Le Na's heart:

"Even if mom is stupid, likes to drink, often doesn't cook for me and doesn't pay attention to personal hygiene, Xiao Sui will still love mom."

"Because mom is the best mom in the world."

Ch415. Ashes, Your Grave, My Daughter

All the warmth under the impermanent night will pass away, and when the night dissipates, a new day will follow.

"Hello, hello...who is it..."

For night owls who follow a European or American lifestyle, six o'clock in the morning is just the middle of the night, having only slept for a few hours.

Lenai had been thinking about the future until about four o'clock last night. After barely getting two hours of sleep, she was forced to wake up when her cell phone rang.

Her brain had not yet fully started, and her body's instinct drove her to leave the bedroom on the third floor and go to the study on the second floor before answering the phone.

She could hear the unkindness in her tone, there was nothing she could do about it, she was just so rude when she woke up.

"It's me, ahem, are you still asleep? I'm about to go into shock, so I wanted to finish my work report."

"Huh? Ah..."

I forced my eyes open and glanced at the caller ID on my phone.

[It's Ms. Ijichi, your manager, who is allergic to seafood but accidentally ate sea urchin steamed egg at the celebration party. That's fine.]

"Thank you for your hard work. Tell me now."

"There are no activities scheduled for the next week, but remember to come to rehearsal when you have time. Have a good rest. You've worked hard over the past six months."

beep-

Just after he finished speaking, before Lenai could react and reply, there was a long busy tone on the other end of the line.

"Thank you, you work very hard... you should rest well too."

Lenai still thanked him woodenly to the air, and she sat in the swivel office chair in the study and spun around.

Being woken up makes it difficult to fall asleep, and talking about work will put most of the brain into overdrive, not to mention that it's good news.

Once you get excited, it’s hard to fall asleep again.

After quickly washing up in the bathroom and preparing a simple breakfast for the mother and daughter, Lenai stood in front of the cloakroom in a daze.

"Since we still have such a long vacation, why not go back to Huizhong's house and visit Huizhong?"

Moreover, the holiday came at the perfect time, as it happened to be the anniversary of Noshiro Chitose's death in just a few days.

"Another year has passed... Sister."

Her palm was pressed against the wardrobe, where were the marks left by Chitose when she measured her height as a child and then casually carved them.

[Another year has passed... but this year wasn't a difficult one.]

"After becoming a mother, I am very happy... I have surpassed you, Chitose-nee. And Xiaosui, I have completely surpassed you."

Although various regrets never ceased, such as the regret for not being able to save them, and the apology for not having such absolute control over the band at the age of fourteen, perhaps everyone could continue to form the group...all kinds of complicated emotions could not dissipate, and all Lenai could do was to dilute them.

A touch of sadness has always been the best seasoning of life, even though no one actually wants their life to be so "colorful".

"Let's go to Hida and see Xiao Sui there."

"Mom, the dates are still good~"

The daughter poked her head out from upstairs, speaking incoherently. It seemed that what Lenai was most worried about had happened.

"Did the ringing wake you up? I'm sorry."

"We are all family, why should we apologize?"

"Don't talk about that! Years old!" Le Nai's tone was rarely so excited, but after thinking about it, she became sad again, "I'll take you to Hida to stay for a day, okay?"

I want to report my band’s achievements to Xiaosui.

"Huh? Okay."

Qiansui stopped rubbing his eyes and walked forward to hug his mother.

"Mom, I haven't seen you for several hours. I miss you."

"I'm always with you, right?"

"But I still miss you and love you mom."

……

What should I do if my daughter is too clingy?

I took Qiansui's hand and got off the plane, and bought her a sun hat at the airport.

What a coincidence, it's the same sun hat I wore when I was waiting for Chitose Haizuka to return to Tokyo.

My daughter is too clingy, so of course I spoil her.

"Will walking be tiring? Do you want your mother to carry you?"

"No, I'm a big kid."

You're just a six-year-old kid.

Even though she thought so, Kaname still respected Chitose and let her let go of her hand and run around.

"Walk slowly and don't go too far. We need to wait for the bus ahead."

"Does Mom come here often? I understand, I understand. This is Mom's secret base, right?"

"It is."

It was the first time for Lenai to take her children on a long trip. It was also the first time for Qiansui to travel outside of the city, and it was also the first time for Lenai to travel without being alone.

"Mom, what should I do if I feel car sick?"

"Get some sleep, but how can you sleep after being on the plane for so long?"

My daughter actually fell asleep on her first flight.

Wanting Lenai to be at a loss whether to laugh or cry, he took Lenai into his arms and patted her gently with his palm.

"I can fall asleep. I'll try my best."

puff.