I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

"How did you become such a decadent adult? You smell so bad, what's that? Cigarettes and alcohol?"

"Y-yeah...I..."

"You have become a stranger to me, little Lixi. What made you become like this?"

It’s you, Noshiro Chitose.

It's you who changed my life.

"Could it be that it's because of me?"

Qiansui laughed and pointed at himself.

"..."

"Why? Why would I see Xiaosui again... This shouldn't be the case. I was the one who scattered your ashes myself."

"What's so strange about this? I told you before, as long as this song is still there, I will always be with you."

"Sure enough...is this still an illusion?"

Shiina Riki slumped dejectedly on the sofa. She cautiously and tentatively reached out to hold Chitose's hand.

She succeeded.

Same temperature, same texture...but why does it feel so weird?

"Because you've grown up, Lixi, you've drifted away from me."

"..."

Just don't give this kind of answer.

"You and fireflies have two things in common: you both glow in my eyes, and I haven't seen you in years."

Chitose Noshiro tilted her head and held Riki's chin with her hand, just like she did many years ago.

Her eyes were so red, as if they had magic, making Li Xi cry uncontrollably as soon as he saw them.

"I'm sorry... I really regret not going to see you at the last moment. You must have had a lot to say to me at that time. I'm sorry, I'm sorry... At that time, I really..."

"It's best if you don't go to see me, because it would be too cruel for you, and it would be extremely bad if you regretted it now."

Qiansui held Lixi's hand, letting the weathered little hand press against his heart.

"Did you hear that, Shiina Ritsuki? This is my heartbeat. Remember it well... Chitose Noshiro's heartbeat matches the melody of the bass in the song. That's why you can see me again."

"It was Li Xi who gave Qian Sui a second chance to live. Qian Sui can feel Li Xi's yearning for her."

"Stop talking...stop talking...wuwuwu...I..."

"Aren't you curious about whether Chitose really resents Riki for not seeing her one last time? I'm here to help you resolve that knot."

[Chitose] moved into Shiina Riki's arms just like she did many years ago, arched her back, and found a relatively comfortable position.

One could clearly feel the tears sliding down Riki's cheeks and onto Chitose's body.

"As for me, I've already told little Lixi... People like me exist to assist people like you. In fact, it all ended well. Qiansui gave everything to help Lixi achieve his dreams."

"Didn't Li Xi want to surpass her sister the most? Now that she has surpassed her sister, why is she still unhappy?"

Chitose Noshiro's words were like bayonets. Not only did they fail to ease Shiina Riki's mood, but they made her cry even louder.

"I...but this is not what I want...I want to live with Xiaosui...I..."

"Lixi, you are so greedy."

Chitose stood up, stood beside the sofa and looked at Shiina Riki who was sitting on the sofa.

Their positions were quietly exchanged.

"Don't you know, little Lixi, that everything has a price?"

"I regret it... I really regret it... I don't want to surpass my sister... I want Chitose... Wuwuwu..."

"Well, Chitose was going to die anyway, but she didn't regret dying at all... By helping Riki, she was also helping herself."

Chitose Noshiro approached Shiina Riki for the last time, and as usual, she pecked Riki's somewhat weathered little face.

The warm touch once again overwhelmed Lixi's tear glands.

"These are what Chitose wanted to say to Riki before she died. It's great to be able to see Riki again and say them to him. Otherwise, I don't know how much longer she would have held it in."

"I, I...I don't want to hear this...wuwuwuwu..."

Li Xi tried to reach out and hold Chitose back, but it was too late.

Noshiro Chitose had already reached the door.

She pushed open the door, and the white light outside stung the dull darkness inside the house, and Li Xi could no longer see Qiansui's face.

"I have gone to Valhalla, which belongs to me. You should be happy for me."

"Keep living, Shiina Riki, I wish you happiness."

"Don't go... I beg you, don't abandon me again... No!"

With what kind of conviction did you say such cruel words as "keep living"?

Riki called out to Chitose with all her might as she rolled off the sofa.

No longer having the strength to stand, Riki desperately crawled towards Noshiro Chitose.

[Don't...don't leave me! I don't want this kind of success...I don't want this kind of life!]

"Little Lixi."

The figure standing at the door was already extremely blurry, but the voice was still as clear as before.

"I fell in love with you at first sight... I've never regretted meeting Lixi. Lixi is everything, I love her the most!"

boom--

The door is closed.

The brief ray of light that illuminated Shiina Riki disappeared just like that.

"No! Xiaosui! Don't go!"

Ch66. Shiina Riki's Waking Up

At six in the morning, in Li Xi's bedroom.

The room was dark and the lights were off. I could vaguely see a young girl curled up in her bed and shivering.

I want you to make me cry my heart out, make me cry until my lungs are torn apart, make me feel miserable, make me wake up crying in the middle of the night! Do you understand? Do you understand? Do you understand what the great me is saying to you? Trash!

This is what Noshiro Chitose said to Shiina Riki at the beginning.

That day, the lights in Chitose's house were dim, and only the girl's charming face shone through Li Xi's inner loneliness.

Crying bitterly, heartbroken, waking up crying in the middle of the night... Shiina Tatsuki, do you understand?

Do you understand?

I understand... Shiina Riki understands.

"Young...years old..."

Li Xi sat up stiffly from the bed and looked at the decorations around her blankly.

This is, my home?

"Is this... is this... my bedroom? I..."

Half of her bed was wet with tears and sweat, and her whole body was sticky and covered with cold sweat.

"Have I returned to the past? No...that's not right..."

Everything that just happened... was just a dream.

What a painful dream.

Especially in the second half, every second was horrifyingly unbearable.

"Xiao Sui, Xiao Sui... Xiao Sui!"

A weak moan came from Shiina Riki's throat. She felt like she had lost something and could never get it back.

Chitose Noshiro, that girl...smiles in the memories.

It’s so painful, so painful.

[If I die at this moment, wouldn’t it be less painful…]

All kinds of chaotic voices appeared in Lixi's head. She tried to bury her head in the pillow but found that the pillow had turned into a "soup dumpling" filled with tears.

"It hurts, it hurts, oooo..."

what! ! ! ! !

I don't want to live anymore. It's so painful. It's really so painful...

My brain is trembling! Woo woo woo.

Li Xi's numb purple pupils looked at the ceiling, and his eyes had completely lost their luster.

It’s so painful… every cell in my body is wailing.

She was struggling to breathe, like a freshwater fish struggling without water on land.

No one had ever been so gentle to her. The girl in her dream was so cute and lovely, like an elf from heaven.

This dream... this long fantasy, is definitely not a gift from an angel.

It comes from the abyss of hell. It is a poison bomb wrapped in syrup. Every second in the dream is a clever scar carefully designed for itself.

Now the dream has been successfully shattered.

Shiina Tatsuki's young and fragile heart was also shattered.

Li Xi had stopped crying and was just staring at the ceiling with a dull look.

She no longer struggled or screamed, and occasionally an instinctive whimper came from her throat.

At this moment, Li Xi is just an ignorant little beast.

She saw—

There are circles of light on the ceiling.

The halos flickered more and more, gradually forming the smiling face of the girl in the dream.

Seeing this, Shiina Riki couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Oh... No, no... Don't let me remember it again... It hurts so much... I want to die... Oh..."

[Keep going, Shiina Tatsuki, are you missing something now? ]

Noshiro Chitose's whispers lingered in her mind, bringing painful memories back to her mind again and again.

Now, every beautiful thing that Shiina Riki could imagine was tinged with the color of Noshiro Chitose.

This causes all the beauty to turn into pain that life cannot bear.

Like this bedroom.

The bed under her was where they used to sleep together when Xiaosui came to her house.

"Woooooooo..."

Don’t think about Chitose Noshiro. When you think of her, Shiina Riki’s desire for life decreases.

Li Xi rolled off the bed in a mess.

The pain from landing actually made her feel relieved.

She doesn't want to live in the real world anymore, she wants to go back to her dream... back to the beginning of the dream, she wants to be with Chitose Noshiro for the rest of her life... she doesn't want her current life! She, Shiina Riki, doesn't want her current life at all...

"The first acquaintance..."

It was the afternoon when I overslept and missed my sister's performance.

Is there such a day in reality?

Li Xi struggled to get up and sit on the chair, wiping the tears from his cheeks with a napkin.