Zongman: My Smart Group

Page 58

System: "I don't want to be called a useless system anymore! I want to help my host! I don't want to be called a useless system anymore! I want to be a useful system, a useful system that I can be praised by you, my host, every day!"

Lin Mo was filled with deep self-reproach and said apologetically, "System, I'm sorry."

Perhaps I really went too far. Maybe it was just a joke to me, but to someone else it felt like a thorn deeply embedded in their heart. Just because I don't care doesn't mean others don't. If I hadn't been cursing the system for being useless and forcing it to leave the group, the system probably wouldn't be recording me every single day... Wait!

Lin Mo suddenly felt that something was wrong with the direction!

Every day? From every angle? Recording your own life? Analyzing it frame by frame?

Lin Mo's eyes widened instantly. The guilt and self-blame he felt earlier vanished in an instant, replaced by intense anger. He gritted his teeth and said, "System! Explain to me what you mean by recording my life every day from every angle, and analyzing it frame by frame while I'm sleeping!"

The system's heart skipped a beat. Oh no! How could it have accidentally revealed this?!

The system whistled and said, "Host, did you hear me wrong? System, I don't know what you're talking about."

Lin Mo was so angry he laughed, and said, "Fine, you system! It's one thing to secretly film me, but to film me for a whole day and analyze it frame by frame! Does that mean you know about my 20s too!"

The system immediately retorted, "Bullshit, he's clearly only 18!"

"..."

Lin Mo said to Satania, "Satania, you should go back first. I still have some things to take care of."

Satania asked curiously, "What's wrong? Do you need help?"

Although Lin Mo had just performed a face-changing act, this was just his usual routine, so Satania wasn't curious.

Lin Mo said with a forced smile, "No need, I'm just really irritable right now and need to vent."

Satania: "Alright, I'll head back now!"

After watching Satania leave, Lin Mo had no more scruples. He jumped up and punched himself in the head, saying as he did so, "You inherently evil system! I'll personally beat you so badly you can't take care of yourself!"

"!!!"

The system hurriedly shouted, "Stop! Host! Although I'm using up your brain's computing power, it doesn't mean I'm your head. Hitting your own head only hurts you; it has absolutely no effect on me!"

Lin Mo sneered, "The more you oppose me, the more right I am! Enough nonsense. You dare to secretly film my life today, and you'll dare to betray me tomorrow. I have to teach you a painful lesson!"

After saying that, he started blowing on his head again, but because he was afraid of the pain, he didn't use any force except for the first blow. In short, it was all bark and no bite.

System: "I'm innocent, host! I'm just a white-haired, red-eyed little loli right now. How could I possibly backstab you? If anyone should backstab someone, it should be you backing me! Stop hitting your own head! You're already clumsy, what if you make yourself even clumsier? I won't do it again, host, please stop!"

"Who are you calling stupid! I'm incredibly clever! Wait a minute!"

Lin Mo suddenly stopped and said, "What did you just say?"

System: "I won't do it again, host, please stop!"

Lin Mo: "No, the previous sentence."

System: "You're inherently stupid..."

Lin Mo raised his hand and said, "If you call me stupid again, I'll keep hammering."

The system quickly replied, "Good, good, good! Host, you're incredibly clever. Nobody's smarter than you!"

Lin Mo: "System, if I heard you correctly, did you say you were a white-haired, red-eyed little loli?"

The system paused for a moment, then nodded and said, "Yes, is there a problem?"

Lin Mo: "This is a huge problem! You're a complete idiot, can you please stop giving yourself an identity? White-haired, red-eyed little loli, it's disgusting."

The system said aggrievedly, "But host, my current form is that of a white-haired, red-eyed little loli. To make amends to you, I used my last bit of power to transform myself into this form, but who knew..."

Lin Mo quickly stopped him, saying, "Stop, stop, stop! What are you babbling about? Send a picture."

System: "Okay."

The next second, the system's photo appeared in front of Lin Mo's eyes. It was indeed a little girl with white hair and red head, with a slightly aggrieved expression and tears in her eyes.

After a long silence, Lin Mo finally spoke, "Is this you?"

The system replied matter-of-factly, "It's me."

Lin Mo looked at him from left to right, but he couldn't match the image of the bald man he remembered. He shook his head and said, "No, this isn't you!"

The system raised an eyebrow: "You're saying this isn't me?"

Lin Mo said with a disdainful look, "I've seen plenty of photoshopped pictures. Tell me, where did you get these photos?"

The system said somewhat angrily, "This is what I look like now! I didn't take a picture of myself, you liar!"

Lin Mo crossed his arms: "Oh~ really? Send me a video to show me your skills."

Without the slightest hesitation, the system sent a video directly.

In the video, the system is in a pure white space, with screens of various sizes floating around it. Each screen shows Lin Mo's appearance: sleeping, talking, laughing, eating, completely naked, half-naked, etc. In short, all of them are taken from Lin Mo's daily life.

In the middle of the video, the system said with a defiant look, "Host, I am now a little loli with white hair and red eyes. You still don't believe me? Look at my little face, look at my white hair, look at my red eyes. Is this fake? Where is it fake? Where is it a photo trick?"

Although Lin Mo was shocked that the system was actually a white-haired, red-eyed little girl, that wasn't what shocked him right now.

Lin Mo pointed at the background and said angrily, "Are you a pervert?! Hanging so many of my photos in your room, and so many nude photos too, how disgusting!"

The system then realized it had forgotten to turn off the screens, quickly retracted the video, turned off the screens, and chuckled, "Hehe~"

Lin Mo: "Hey my ass! Delete all my photos right now! Immediately! I advise you to behave yourself, or don't blame me for going berserk. It won't just be a matter of deleting photos; I might even give you a lesson!"

The system's eyes immediately lit up as it exclaimed, "There's such a good thing!"

Lin Mo: "???"

………………

P.S.: It's been a long time since I wrote about the system's scenes, so I'm writing a couple of chapters to reminisce.

Chapter 109 Clever! Brilliant!

The system quickly realized what was happening, cleared its throat twice, and said, "I will absolutely not yield to evil! Come on then! Whoever chickens out is a dog!"

Lin Mo exclaimed in shock, "System, I thought you were already abnormal enough, but I didn't expect you could be even more abnormal! I only used you as a cheat code, but I never expected you would actually want to sleep with me!"

The system replied matter-of-factly, "Isn't it common sense that the system should marry the host?"

Lin Mo: "6!"

System: "7!"

"..."

Lin Mo sighed heavily, feeling a sense of déjà vu about this scene. Sure enough, he was trapped in an endless cycle of reincarnation.

Lin Mo: "System, tell me honestly, are you the Cat Guest System?"

System: "No, but I have a predecessor, the Cat Guest System!"

Alright, the truth is out.

Lin Mo: "You should stay away from that senior of yours from now on. He only learns bad things and not good ones! Alright, I need to hurry up and go to class, I'm going to be late."

On the way back, Lin Mo casually checked in.

"bite--

Congratulations, host, you have obtained: 吐槽 (Tucao) Energy Collector (Gold)

Complaint Energy Collector: Collects complaint energy when users complain. (Complaint energy is omnipotent!)

Lin Mo said in surprise, "Wow, I didn't expect to actually get a shipment. I still owe Hachiman a gift, so I'll give him this吐槽 (tu cao, a type of humorous remark) energy collector. If I remember correctly, he has a cowlick on his head."

Because the shipment had been delivered, Lin Mo was in a good mood, so he casually washed Yukino Yukinoshita's bento box. He walked into the classroom just in time, and the bell rang for class as soon as he sat down.

There wasn't much to say about the afternoon; it was just Lin Mo dragging the Three-Headed Six-Armed group along for rehearsals and planning their battle strategy, so they could deliver a heavy blow to Yukino's camp after school!

When the school bell rang, Lin Mo immediately got up and ran to Hachiman Hikigaya's classroom. After all, he couldn't let him go to get reinforcements again. At the same time, Takanashi Rikka went to call Hiratsuka Shizuka, since Hiratsuka Shizuka was teaching their last class.

Kato Megumi calmly packed her things and then leisurely followed them, without choosing to leave. Although the three-headed, six-armed duo were all idiots except for herself, it was surprisingly interesting, something she had never experienced before.

Although it wasn't explicitly stated, they were all friends, and as a friend, I couldn't be absent at such a crucial moment! After all, this was much more interesting than comedians.

To prevent Hachiman Hikigaya from escaping, Lin Mo activated overclocking mode and arrived at his classroom door at top speed, successfully blocking him.

Lin Mo put her arm around his neck and said, "What a coincidence, Hachiman! I never expected to run into you here. It's like fate! In that case, let's go to the Service Club together!"

Hachiman Hikigaya was completely bewildered. He had just stood up from his seat when Lin Mo grabbed his neck. No matter how you looked at it, it seemed like he was there specifically to ambush him!

Hachiman Hikigaya said without changing his expression, "I'm sorry, something came up at home, so I won't be able to participate in today's club activity. Please ask President Yukinoshita for me to take the day off."

Lin Mo's lips curled up slightly. Sure enough, Hachiman Hikigaya went to get reinforcements at noon. Otherwise, he wouldn't have left in such a hurry when he was blocking him!

Without waiting for a reply, Lin Mo pulled Hachiman Hikigaya towards the Service Department: "We can talk about it later. It won't take long. I'll come over and take care of it for you. Oh, and I have something good for you!"

After saying that, Lin Mo took out scissors and cut off Hachiman Hikigaya's ahoge (cowlick).

Hachiman Hikigaya stared blankly at the tuft of hair in Lin Mo's hand. He touched his head in disbelief, and after confirming that his ahoge (cowlick) was indeed gone, he cried out in anguish, "No—!!!"

My tuft of hair, which had been with me for so many years, was cut off so easily. It's truly unforgivable!

Just as Hachiman Hikigaya was about to fight Lin Mo to the death, he felt a sharp pain on the top of his head. He subconsciously reached out to touch it and touched his own ahoge (cowlick) again!

He looked at the hair in Lin Mo's hand, then touched his own ahoge (cowlick). What was going on? Had his ahoge grown back on its own?

Lin Mo casually tossed the hair into his inventory and explained, "This is the gift I promised you: the Complaint Energy Collector. The Complaint Aliens discovered that people generate enormous energy when they complain, and this energy is almost omnipotent. So they invented the Complaint Energy Collector to collect and store the complaining energy of users, which can be used when needed. How about that? I'm pretty good to you, aren't I?"

Hachiman Hikigaya: "What the heck is 'Tsukiko-kun'? This name is so lame!"

Lin Mo gave a thumbs up and said with a smile, "As expected of my best friend, you've mastered how to use the吐槽 (tu cao, a Chinese internet slang term for complaining/criticizing) energy collector so quickly! Don't underestimate吐槽 energy. If used properly, it can destroy a star. As long as you keep吐槽 (tu cao) and collecting energy, you can even create a world."

Seeing Lin Mo's serious expression, Hachiman Hikigaya's lips twitched slightly. If he hadn't felt nothing at all, he would have almost believed him. Oh well, his ahoge is back anyway, so he won't bother arguing with him.

Hachiman Hikigaya sighed and said, "I'll believe you for now. By the way, can you let me go now? This position is really misleading!"

"OK!"

Lin Mo immediately changed his posture, gripping Hachiman Hikigaya's hand tightly, their fingers interlocked to prevent him from escaping.

Hachiman Hikigaya immediately began to struggle, saying in horror, "This position will only make people misunderstand!"

In the end, it was only after Hachiman Hikigaya repeatedly assured Lin Mo that he would not escape that Lin Mo stopped controlling Hachiman Hikigaya.

Hachiman Hikigaya: It seems I can't escape this ordeal today. I hope nothing else goes wrong.

After some time, Lin Mo and Hachiman Hikigaya finally arrived at the Service Club. Because they had to deal with Hachiman Hikigaya's little scheme to escape, it took them some time, and they were the last to arrive.

Lin Mo counted the number of people and nodded in satisfaction after confirming that everyone was present.

Hiratsuka Shizuka crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, saying, "Lin Mo, what did you call me over here for? I still have homework to correct."

Lin Mo's lips curled slightly, and he pointed a single finger to the sky, shouting sharply, "The Three-Headed, Six-Armed Combination! Where are you!"

Rikka Takanashi / Satani / Sanae Dekomori / Megumi Kato: "Here I am!"

"Line up!"

The group quickly lined up in the rehearsed order and struck their own unique poses!

Lin Mo / Rikka Takanashi / Satania: "We are the smartest!"

Megumi Kato/Sanae Dekomori: "We're clever little devils!"

With each sentence spoken, the five people would take a step forward.

Lin Mo and the other two: "We are the righteous ones!"

Kato Megumi and the other two: "We're the good guys!"

Lin Mo and the other two: "Because of our existence!"

Kato Megumi and the other person: "Only the bad guys lose!"

Lin Mo pointed to himself with his thumb and said, "Me, three-headed!"