I am the protagonist

"In short, no matter what happened before, I will at least not let myself become like that now."

"Hmph! That's not necessarily true."

Shirou looked in the direction of the sound and saw a man with black skin and white hair. A flicker of surprise crossed Shirou's eyes, quickly turning into sarcasm.

"I thought it was someone else, but it turns out to be a loser."

Archer felt as if the god's declaration had pierced his heart, and looking at that contemptuous and sarcastic face, he felt his anger rising.

I can lose to anyone else! But I can't lose to myself!

These are the words Archer has been saying to himself for a long time.

Archer is a heroic spirit who feels no glory or pride in his identity as a hero; the identity of a hero is like a constant reminder that he is now merely a janitor. He is always forced to do the things he least wants to do, and always confront the things he least wants to confront.

But now the person who caused his existence is calling him a "loser".

This form of address fueled Archer's anger, eventually pushing him to his breaking point.

"Loser, that's more like it, Shirou Emiya. Or do you think amnesia alone can save you from your fate?"

"Fate? You actually call it fate?"

Rin and Sakura noticed that the sarcasm on Shirou's face had intensified.

"You define your life as a loser as your destiny? That's the main reason you're a loser. You've been turned into a guardian by human consciousness, so you accept your fate."

"Since you're controlled by human consciousness, why don't you just kill all of humanity? I think Earth's consciousness would be very happy if you did that. If you really did, Earth's consciousness might even help you restrain human consciousness and let you achieve your wish."

Archer's already dark complexion darkened further, but he knew these words were true; he had long known that the relationship between Earth's consciousness and human consciousness was strained. If he was truly determined to destroy humanity, Earth's consciousness might actually help him restrain human consciousness.

Why not do it?

"It's not that you don't want to do it, but that you know it's wrong, and you've already rejected the idea in your heart. Even if you don't consider yourself a hero, you still can't do it when it comes to the destruction of humanity, and you still don't think you're someone who can do it."

The sarcasm on Shirou's face slowly faded, but the contempt remained completely undiminished.

"You believe you are still a 'partner of justice,' a truth that cannot be changed in your heart. Yet you deny this idea because you know that becoming a 'partner of justice' would involve actions that are completely contrary to your own ideals. So, you've taken your anger out on yourself."

"Is he taking it out on you? A man like you..."

"Is it me? I think it must be you, right?"

Faced with Shirou Emiya's relentless pressure, Archer's momentum was immediately suppressed.

Seeing Shirou calmly looking at him as the man's momentum weakened, Archer felt as if that gaze was piercing through him.

"You're taking your anger out on yourself."

"You resent your ignorance, your naivety, and your ideals."

"But you can't change the status quo, so you want to kill him after confirming that your past self hasn't changed. Because you think that way you won't have to continue with your wrong ideas, right?"

As Shirou's last words faded, Archer's face turned deathly pale. It felt as if his own heart had been ripped open, and he was seeing its true color.

Chapter Fifteen: The Thoughts of the Two Sisters

Rin and Sakura were packing their belongings in one room. Moving here was a spur-of-the-moment decision, mainly to help Shirou regain his past memories. However, now that they knew about Shirou's situation, the two sisters were starting to feel conflicted.

"Sister, should we still try to restore Senior's memory? I actually think it's good that he's like this now, at least he won't be like he used to be."

“I know that Shirou is much better now than the Shirou who was a bit twisted in the past. The key now is not to help Shirou regain his memory. You heard what the doctor said. In fact, the probability of Shirou regaining his memory is very low.”

"Well, what about the senior...?"

"Let Shirou stay like this. Our staying at Shirou's house is also a way to help him deal with the relationship problems at school. Shirou has lost his memory and forgotten not only us, but also his classmates at school."

Rin doesn't want Shirou to regain his past memories; in fact, it would be a bad thing. Having finally seen Shirou recover from his previous twisted mindset, Rin doesn't want to see him revert to his original, twisted self.

Sakura knew that amnesia would have many consequences; people from the past were now strangers to her senior. There was no need to worry at home, but at school, there would be many troublesome situations.

Sister, even if we don't live together, you can still help your senior, right?

Sakura had already realized this before; even if she didn't live with her senior, she could still help him. It's just that Sakura had a slight selfish thought before.

cohabitation.

She couldn't easily give up on her senior's feelings for her; if she could, Sakura wouldn't want to try anymore.

Sakura still has feelings for Shirou after all.

Rin could actually sense her younger sister's feelings to some extent. It wasn't that her sister's feelings were indirect, but rather that they were too direct. Rin often noticed that Sakura's gaze towards Shirou was unusual, always sparkling, and even if she didn't want to know, she couldn't help it.

As the older sister, she knew exactly what her younger sister was thinking. The two sisters had grown up together since childhood and knew each other better than anyone else.

As the older sister, there are some things you should show deference to your younger sister.

For example, a cute dress.

For example, delicious food.

However, this example will definitely not include Shirou.

There are some things Rin can give to Sakura, but there are some things she absolutely cannot give up. Rin has never treated Shirou as an object, let alone something she can casually give away.

In the living room, Shirou was still with Illya, helping her to calm down. It seemed she had been too agitated to handle the situation. Shirou simply kept her in the same position, letting Illya lean against him, allowing her to slowly adjust her emotions.

Saber, however, found this scene somewhat displeasing.

"Illyasviel, you should have adjusted your mood by now."

Saber had already confirmed fifteen minutes ago that Illyasviel's mood had completely calmed down, but Illyasviel still clung to Shirou and refused to get off. This shameless behavior was something Saber, as a knight, couldn't stand.

"Hmm... I need more time to adjust."

Illya, who refused to leave, showed no intention of getting up, which angered Saber.

Shirou quickly stopped Saber from continuing.

"Never mind, Saber. My sister is like this because of me. Let her stay a little longer."

"Shirou... since Shirou has said so..."

Although Saber's eyes were still fixed on Illya, her attitude wasn't as forceful as before. Since Shirou had already spoken, continuing to press the issue would only be more rude on her part.

When Shirou couldn't see her, Illya made a face at Saber.

"!?"

[Be patient! Be patient! Illyasviel's emotions are only fluctuating so much because of Shirou.]

But the more Saber reminded herself of this, the angrier she felt, even angrier than she had imagined. As a good king, the most important thing is to hide one's emotions and not let them control one's emotions. Saber immediately began to breathe heavily to suppress this anger.

Saber felt particularly uncomfortable seeing Illyasviel still clinging to Shirou.

"Saber, you were a Heroic Spirit before, but now that the Holy Grail War is over, can you be considered to have shed that identity?"

"Yes. The Holy Grail appeared halfway through the Holy Grail War, and someone made a wish that allowed the materialized Heroic Spirits to have bodies and continue to exist in the world."

"It feels weird."

The past that Shirou saw was similar; halfway through the Holy Grail War, the Grail was used to make a wish. That person wished for the Heroic Spirits to gain true bodies, allowing them to continue existing in the mortal world. Shirou felt that only someone with a certain obsession with Heroic Spirits could make such a wish.

This obsession stems from a simple fixation on one particular Heroic Spirit, or perhaps from a desire to end the Holy Grail War where everyone is fighting each other.

No matter what the reason was, Shirou couldn't see that he ultimately did such a thing.

"Shirou, we have no way of knowing who made the wish now. Rin and Sakura investigated that matter before, but they didn't find anything in the end. I think there must be some people involved behind the scenes."

"...Theoretically speaking, that's how it is."

Shirou knew that this was a normal thought for everyone, but who had the ability to obtain the Holy Grail in advance? And who could make a wish on the Holy Grail in advance, and that wish would benefit all the Heroic Spirits?

[Thinking about these things now is pointless. It doesn't matter whose wish allowed the Heroic Spirits to continue existing. This era has now become one where Heroic Spirits and mages coexist. Next time, I can go and see some other Heroic Spirits.]

Shirou can see the existence of those Heroic Spirits, but that's only one aspect. He really wants to have more direct contact with them. These Heroic Spirits are very famous figures from history, like the girl before him, who is Saber, the renowned King of Knights.

However, it seems that the Knight King has been gender-swapped.

[I wonder if other heroic spirits who came to this era in history were also anthropomorphized... I'd better not let those who study history know about these thoughts, or they'll definitely kill me.]

Chapter Sixteen: Feeding Saber

"Goo~~~"

Shirou and Illya both looked toward the source of the sound—Saber's stomach.

Saber heard her stomach rumble and her face flushed red. She had actually been hungry for a while, but since the conversation had been about Shirou, Saber didn't want to bring up food.

"Then I'll do something simple."

"Shirou, actually I'm not..."

"Gurgle~~~~~~"

"……sorry to bother you."

Saber really wanted to maintain her image, but the fact that she was hungry was undeniable.

Shirou walked into the kitchen next to the living room and opened the refrigerator to find it in complete disarray. All that remained were some loose ingredients and a bag of flour. This sorry state was clearly due to not having bought groceries in a long time, and even more so, because no one had cooked at home.

[Could it be that while I was in the hospital, Saber just emptied the fridge without buying anything to replenish supplies? Thank goodness flour can't be eaten raw, otherwise we wouldn't even have a single bag.]

Shirou opened the flour bag, took out a bowl, poured all the flour into it, and then poured water into the bowl as well. Shirou immediately started kneading the dough. Completely forgetting how to do it, Shirou was almost doing it by feel, but his body's memory seemed to be teaching him how to handle the dough properly.

【Yes, the dough is ready. Let it rest for a bit.】

Shirou turned his head to look at the things he had taken out of the refrigerator: some clams, some eggs, a piece of fish, and some vegetables. These were the last things left in the refrigerator; it looked like he needed to prepare seafood soup.

Due to the lack of ingredients, Shirou could only focus on the flavor. The soup is part of the noodles, and it can also be called a dish. However, in the case of soup noodles, the soup plays a more supporting role.

I quickly prepared the soup base, using as many ingredients as possible on hand. Sometimes, a chef's skill lies in how they utilize leftover ingredients in their cooking. This is also a situation we sometimes face when unexpected circumstances arise at home.

So at this moment, Shirou simply used all the ingredients in the soup, complementing the freshness of the seafood broth. However, Shirou felt that this was slightly insufficient; the soup was still a bit lacking, so the only thing he could change now was the noodles.

The soup serves to complement the noodles, but the noodles are the star of the show. So let the noodles be the stunning beauty, and the noodles themselves be the veil draped over her face!

Therefore, only that noodle can be called an unparalleled beauty.

After some time of fussing, Rin and Sakura finally managed to tidy up the room. Because it was a Japanese-style house, unlike their Western-style home, there wasn't a large bed in the room; they had to make their own bedding and blankets. So, the room for two people was quite spacious.

"Phew~ We've finally got all our things organized. Luckily, Shirou was cleaning every room the whole time, so we didn't have much time to clean. Otherwise, this one room would have taken us all day to clean."

Even so, Rin still cleaned the room thoroughly this time. With Shirou lying in the hospital, many rooms in the house had accumulated a lot of dust, and this room was one of them. Rin was just glad that Shirou was a very clean boy; otherwise, she and Sakura would have faced a truly massive undertaking today.

"I just don't know if my sister will get used to it?"

"Sleep? You underestimate me when it comes to that. I'm very adaptable."

Rin admitted that she still preferred sleeping in a soft, big bed, but she could sleep on the tatami mats with her own bedding; it was just a little uncomfortable at first. But would that slight discomfort have any impact on her? Obviously not.

Rather than sleeping, Rin has been having a strange feeling lately, as if she's forgotten something, something quite important. But no matter how hard she tries, she can't quite recall what she's forgotten.

"Sakura, do you think there's something we haven't done today?"

"Does your sister feel this way too? Actually, I feel the same way. I feel like there's something very important I haven't done today."

Sakura also had this strange feeling, as if she hadn't done something important today, something she usually does every day. But right now, probably because of the moving, she couldn't quite remember what it was.

Medusa, sitting to the side, had an idea.

"You're buying groceries, aren't you?"

"!?" *2

"Yes! It's grocery shopping!" *2

Rin and Sakura suddenly realized they had forgotten to buy groceries. They usually went grocery shopping after visiting Shirou in the hospital to help Saber with her meals. But today, because Shirou was awake and they had decided to move in with him, they forgot to buy groceries.

Sakura then remembered that Saber had been with them all day, which meant that Saber, like them, hadn't eaten anything for lunch.

"Sister, Saber doesn't seem to have eaten anything today."

"!?"

"Hurry up, let's go check on Saber first."

Medusa watched Rin and Sakura leave and sighed helplessly, feeling that they had spent too much time with Saber and had forgotten some things.

[We Heroic Spirits won't die even if we don't eat, have Rin and Sakura forgotten that? Even when we eat, it's not because we need energy, but simply to satisfy our appetites.]

Upon entering the living room, the first thing Rin and Sakura noticed was Saber sitting at the table. She was sitting there quietly, her eyes sparkling as she looked towards the kitchen.

Rin and Sakura followed the gaze and saw Shirou preparing food in the kitchen. However, neither of them realized what Shirou was swinging in his hands. At first glance, it looked like a thin, white substance, similar to hair.

"Sakura, Shirou seems to be making noodles, right?"

Rin's gaze lingered on the noodles Shirou was tossing in his hands, her eyes practically glued to the delicate strands. At that moment, Rin really wanted to ask Shirou how he made such fine noodles, especially since they looked almost like white hair.