Will the plagiarism girl be a substitute for the preference for women?

So she turned her head and smiled, "China, while the game is downloading, I'd like to hear you play 'Spring Shadow'."

Chapter 58 Unbuttoning

"I thought Su Shi didn't really want to hear this song."

Based on Crychic's importance to Suze, China made this suspicion.

"How could that be? China was just singing as usual."

Su Shi's words revealed another layer of meaning.

"So, you can sing normally, but not at concerts?"

Qian Nai asked, and at the same time sat down on the computer desk and turned on the synthesizer.

"Well, there's no need for Xiaodeng to practice this song specifically, nor is it necessary to sing it at a concert. Just listen to Xiaoqian sing it like this in normal times."

Unlike Xiangzi, Su Shi didn't shed tears of emotion after reading the lyrics of this song; on the contrary, she didn't understand them.

As she repeatedly looked into the mirror in the practice room and watched everyone practice the song together, feeling the melody gradually become more harmonious through practice, Haruhi Kage slowly formed a special meaning in Suze's heart.

Even when the band achieved their first ideal performance and drew cheers from the audience, Kasuga Kage became an indelible part of Suse's memories.

That's why, when faced with the disappointment of the band's disbandment, hearing Kasuga Kage being played or sung again inevitably leads to sadness and a desire to avoid the situation.

She felt the same way, and so did Xiangzi, perhaps even more so, because she invested more effort in the song and was better able to understand the meaning of the lyrics.

Therefore, if the song "Spring Shadows" were to play again, it would deeply affect Xiangzi, but it's unclear whether it would bring her back or cause her to avoid the situation. Xiangzi's final decision may be related to what she experienced during her absence.

Su Shi felt that China should know what had happened to her sister, but even though she took extra care of her and accepted it gladly, she still chose to keep her distance.

This distance convinced Su Shi that she couldn't get any information about Xiangzi from Qian Nai.

However, being able to enjoy her playing "Spring Shadow" can provide a brief respite from the mood.

Before playing, China turned to ask Su-se.

"Why can't you play 'Kasuga Kage' at the concert?"

"Does Xiaoqian hope that Akari can prove herself on stage again and then be recognized by Xiaoxiang?"

Su Shi pressed the lamp and asked in response, then explained the reason.

“I’m worried that your sister will be sad after hearing this song, and that will dash your and Xiaodeng’s hopes.”

"Is that so? Then I'll sing 'Haruhi Kage' in the back row of my sister every day to desensitize her, so that she'll get used to hearing Xiao Deng sing live and won't have any stress reaction."

Qiannai's proposal left Su Shi at a loss for words.

There's a sense of seriousness and well-foundedness, but this earnestness is also tinged with a touch of absurdity.

And it seemed a bit excessive for Xiangzi, but considering they were sisters, Su Shi felt it was inappropriate to comment on or interfere in this interaction between the sisters.

While Su Shi remained silent, Qian Nai's fingertips began to move across the keyboard, playing a familiar melody.

When I came to my senses, the figure playing the instrument before me seemed to reappear from the past.

In the past, let alone wanting to hear Chinatsu play Kasuga Kage, getting her to agree to play a piece for me was as difficult as getting Shoko to return to the band.

It was during those moments that Su Shi was more inclined to find Xiangzi himself.

But now, China has finally achieved the value that Su Shi had hoped for when they first met, and is willing to play a piece of music so that Su Shi can have a chance to temporarily savor the past.

At this moment, however, Su Shi no longer completely regarded Qian Nai as a temporary replacement.

She wanted to extract an image from China's performance to recall the past.

The vivid and engaging performance truly touched Su Shi, bringing back happy memories of her time in the band, intertwining with the quiet, uneventful days after the band disbanded.

But whenever she was about to shed tears, the beauty mark under Qianna's right eye would pull Su Shi out of her memories, as if reminding her: to truly appreciate Qianna's performance, not Xiangzi's.

That ray of light gently guided us.

"I couldn't cry out loud that day, but I've emerged from the shadows."

When she sang this line, China glanced at Sose and gave her a sincere look.

At this moment, Su Shixia finally understood the meaning of the lyrics, comprehended the light that the lamp was thinking of, and understood her as she stepped out of the shadows.

Yes, truly appreciate the heartfelt playing of the person you care for, who also needs your care.

But if you need me, don't keep your distance from me like this.

Su Shi looked at Qian Nai's tightly buttoned sleeves and thought to herself.

After the first part of the chorus finished, Su Shi slowly walked in, offering applause and gentle encouragement.

"Chika sang really well, and she hit the high notes with such ease."

"Thanks……"

As he expressed his gratitude, Su Shi took his right hand.

"Does Chizuru wear her pajamas so tightly? Maybe she should loosen them~"

This kind of restrained way of dressing is unnecessary in the bedroom, and also unnecessary between the two of us.

Su Shi first loosened the sleeve of Qian Nai's right hand, revealing Bai Zhe's wrist.

Then came the buttons on the collar.

"Wouldn't it feel constricting and stuffy wearing it like that?"

When Su Shi's fingers approached Chika's collar, Chika, who was sitting in the chair, instinctively leaned back, but the backrest blocked her way.

So, two buttons on the collar were also removed.

"Isn't it much more comfortable this way, with more space around?"

All that's left is the sleeve of the left hand.

Once the buttons are undone, the scars will be revealed.

"Beep?"

A notification sound from the television caught Su Shi's attention.

The game has been downloaded.

Turning back, Su Shi saw that China had already unbuttoned her sleeves, but her forearm was resting on the handle, so there were no visible knife marks.

“It’s definitely better to wear looser clothes at home.” China smiled, trying to appear calm, and agreed with Su Shi’s point of view.

"And you can be more relaxed when you speak, Chika. You don't need to be so polite just because you're afraid I'll leave. It's not like you, and it's not genuine."

Su Shi looked somewhat worried, as if in her eyes, Qian Nai was forcibly packaging herself as another person in order to seek care.

"If I speak like I used to, you might revert to your old attitude."

China wanted to buy herself a few more seconds before her injury was discovered, though she figured it would be pointless.

"It's not that I want China to curse and hate me like before. Just treat me like you treat other classmates, be straightforward and quick, right? That way, I won't have too much inner turmoil."

"Or is it...because..."

Su Shi's tone became slightly agitated. She leaned forward, grasped Qian Nai's upper arms on both sides, and rested one knee on the chair between Qian Nai's legs.

"You used to ignore me, but then you finally couldn't resist throwing yourself into my arms. Now, with this innocent look on your face, are you trying to maintain my care for you and not dare to act recklessly, or are you starting to regret your act of hugging me and seeking attention? Are you thinking that you don't need the care of someone you hate, so you're using this politeness to keep your distance from me?"

Su Shi looked Qian Nai up and down with her eyes, and asked uneasily.

Chapter 59 Fear

The situation suddenly became difficult.

After letting go of imitating the original owner's personality, Su Shi began to doubt that she had been deliberately keeping her distance all along.

That's true. China was hiding her medical history and politely declined to share a bed, trying to maintain the relationship by keeping her distance.

When she sang the lyrics of Haruhi Kage's "That Ray of Light," she couldn't help but look at Sose, recognizing her as someone who, like Aine, was her ray of light.

But no matter which ray of light it was, she was afraid of getting too close and becoming too dazzling.

However, Aine knew she had to keep her distance.

When Aine mentioned where to travel during Golden Week last time, she considered that there would be a lot of trouble taking care of China while staying together, so she quickly changed the subject.

But Su Shi didn't, perhaps because he hadn't considered how troublesome it would be, or perhaps because he was confident that he could handle the trouble.

Not a psychologist, nor a professional caregiver, but merely a student, can she truly make the right sacrifices as she wishes?

Facing Su Shi, who was close to her and holding her arms, Qian Nai turned her head away, avoiding her gaze, and said softly:

"The tough me of the past is dead."

"If you can't accept this sudden change of mine... please calm down a bit more."

Su Shi slowly released her hands from Qian Nai, looked at the body reclining on the chair, pondered, and smiled quietly.

"Is that so? Does Chizuru mean that by shedding her tough facade, this is the real you?"

China nodded slightly.

Su Shi's circuits were now working smoothly again.

I was wondering why Aine was able to spend so much time with Chinatsu without being driven to the brink of madness by Chinatsu's temper and leaving.

It turns out that the real Chika is someone who lets go of her caution and resistance towards others, shows her vulnerable side, and uses all sorts of ingratiating actions to gain the care she desires.

Perhaps it was because Chika's attitude towards Aine was the same that Aine didn't leave her.

Now, China is also showing this true side of herself.

But while thinking this way, reason began to question Su Shi.

Once the initial fervor of this retaliatory attention wears off, will you still care about her so much?

As long as she deserves to be treated with care.

In the past, when you wanted to care about her, it was always based on her appearance, right?

No, not all of them. When she cried in the past, I was also worried about her, but at that time she didn't want me to get close, so after being rejected, the hatred overshadowed my concern.

I've just been denying to myself that I care about her.

Therefore, when Qiannai stopped refusing to show concern, her care was no longer covered by hatred, loss, and resentment.

Of course, Qiannai still didn't fully accept Sushi's concern and held back a little, so Sushi also felt a bit unwilling, which made her approach Qiannai somewhat excitedly just now to ask for an answer.

Although a distance is still maintained, it will gradually disappear as trust deepens.

China felt that this distance might never disappear.

When Su Shi raises his wrist after unbuttoning his sleeve, will he feel guilty for not knowing about China's situation in the past, or will he be afraid of a self-harming mental patient and run away?

After Aine roughly guessed her situation, she still expressed her willingness to protect her, so China also chose to be honest.

But Su Shi was unaware of this.

Because she was preoccupied with herself

A guess popped into China's mind, but it felt like the guess wasn't her own.

Moreover, this conjecture is further supplemented by itself.

She constantly tries to please others, but this process is to satisfy her own need for attention and to make herself feel better.

Therefore, she doesn't know how to maintain appropriate distance and tries to constantly show concern for others.

If someone asks for care that they can't afford, they'll slink away in disgrace.

She shouldn't be that kind of person...

China responded to her inner voice with little confidence.

That's the kind of person she is!

The inner voice emphasized this as if it were from someone who had experienced it firsthand.

If you don't believe me, show her the scar on my hand and see how she reacts.

If she can't accept the fact that you are a patient, then don't regret not maintaining that distance.

I have to hide it from her, yet I also crave her care. Rather than exhausting myself walking a tightrope to maintain this distance, it's better to end it all and part ways.

It's enough to have just one person who knows you have bipolar disorder and still wants to be with you.