Will the plagiarism girl be a substitute for the preference for women?

Is having Aine enough...?

"Little Chinatsu, come and play a game with me for a while."

As China communicated with the voice in her mind, she was unaware that her left hand had been taken.

Then, the scars under her sleeves were revealed without reservation.

"China, this is..."

These scars gave Su Shi an extremely strong visual impact, making her feel dizzy and causing her to take a half step back.

At first, China thought her reaction was a bit exaggerated, but she quickly realized that people's ability to cope varies depending on their experiences.

So many fellow patients had “shared” similar scars with her that she had become accustomed to the sight, though she was still slightly terrified.

Su Shi's reaction is normal, as an ordinary person who has never personally witnessed self-harm.

"Are you okay?"

After taking a step forward, China put her right arm around Su Shi, who was unsteady on her feet, and slowly led her to her bed.

Su Shi held her forehead, and as she recalled the scene from just now, she felt dizzy again.

In this uncomfortable state, her psychological defense mechanisms prevented her from generating other feelings of self-blame to avoid deepening the discomfort.

Therefore, her defense mechanism made her avoid thinking about her past resentment towards China, the "patient," and told herself that she was acting that way because she was unaware of the situation, and that the fault did not lie with her.

She began to imagine that whenever China was in a bad mood, she would tell others to get out, lock herself in her room, and then hurt herself with a knife.

Her self-protective mechanism made her afraid that if she maintained such a close distance with China, like sharing a bed, she would be hurt by China.

Psychology tells Chika that these kinds of psychological activities will happen to the dazed girl next to her.

Because Su Shi was not an experienced psychologist; she was just a student.

I think that after learning the truth, she will begin to distance herself from you, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

Let her go; don't show any more dependence on her.

This is good for both you and her.

Another voice in China's heart reminded her again.

"Does Su Shi want to know the truth?" China asked, sitting to Su Shi's left.

"Did I...do it myself?" Su Shi's eyes were vacant, and her voice trembled slightly.

"Yes, I have bipolar disorder, so you'll see me going from being furious to crying... and sometimes I also release my emotions through pain."

"I understand."

Su Shi smoothed her hair on both sides with her hands, then asked.

"Does Aine know about this too?"

"Ah."

"I see. I hope Aine will continue to take good care of you."

Su Shi's tone carried a hint of resentment at being "unable to do the job," before she changed the subject.

"China, put your unhappiness aside and let's play some games first."

Chapter 60 Safety Rope

"I think we should stop playing games for now, Su Shi, you should leave the room."

Sensing that something was about to happen, China first spoke in a calm tone, then her teeth chattered slightly.

"After a while... you can come back to the room to play games again, if you'd like."

Driven by fear, Su Shi clutched her irregularly beating heart and silently left the room.

China stood up, her fists clenching as she silently endured a certain emotion.

Only after the footsteps in the corridor stopped and the guest room door closed did she release the pent-up emotions, slamming her fist against the table again and again.

He was angry, but not at people; he was angry at the situation.

They get angry because they can only get care by keeping their distance, and they are indignant because their concealed medical records will inevitably be exposed.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Through a wall, Su Shi heard a series of smashing sounds, which made her cover her mouth to scream and gradually back away, leaning against another wall.

Everyone has seen rage.

However, once an rage-monger is labeled as having a mental illness, even if their rage manifests as nothing different from that of an ordinary person, it will subconsciously appear more terrifying to others.

In addition, Su Shi had seen China fly into a rage many times, but rarely like this.

Before Qiannai asked her to leave, Su Shi had only ever seen her vent her emotions on herself by "pulling her own hair" and "hitting her own legs".

After he left, he probably cut his own wrists with a knife.

This is where she differs from the original owner. Although both characters express their emotions through pain, Chinai tends to vent them outwards.

Because you don't want to hurt others, do you tell them to get lost, and then hurt yourself in the process?

After pounding on the wall and table, China took a breath, calmed down a bit, and then asked the voice in her heart.

Yes, that's the voice that answered.

So, what's the deal with Su Shi saying you deny mainstream music?

China then asked, but this time there was no reply.

It seems that voice isn't always online.

In short, drawn in by the voice and its suggestive tone, Su Shi inadvertently saw the scars on her wrist and then revealed the truth to her.

What they got in return was fear from the other party.

As expected, things don't always go as planned.

However, "that voice" did give me a good talking-to, telling me that there was no need to maintain this unsustainable relationship.

Indeed, my greed is too strong. I want to rely on someone. Isn't one person enough?

I'll play some games and scroll through my phone for a bit tonight, then go to sleep.

I couldn't help but make such a commotion just now, and considering how lost and panicked Su Shi looked, she probably won't come.

It's better if you don't come. You can rest well in the guest room and avoid being harmed by your illness.

Medical records and medicine boxes no longer need to be hidden; they can be placed back on the table openly.

As recommended by the doctor, I will take some quetiapine in the evening to calm my mind and help me sleep better.

Otherwise, constantly thinking about yourself, Su Shi, and the virtual streamer can easily lead to sleepless nights.

However, if taking quetiapine allows me to fall asleep like a good baby, wouldn't that be a relatively safe and accessible moment for Su Shi...?

Enough, stop with these chaotic and restless thoughts.

Just as China took out a medicine box from the bedside table, intending to take the medicine to calm herself down, she saw something else in the drawer.

A strong rope.

Is it for throwing out of a window to escape in case of fire?

China hoped that the other voice in her heart would respond, but it didn't.

Considering the original owner's situation, the rope wasn't for escaping, but for escaping life altogether.

Or is it for self-torture?

China looked at the knife scar on her left arm and asked herself the same question again.

That's enough! It's a safety rope, an escape device!

The voice finally responded, though its tone was harsh, which only fueled China's suspicions.

I want it to serve a purpose beyond just being a survival tool.

Stop! You're in a manic phase right now. You don't realize how crazy your actions are!

Control your emotions. Perhaps self-harm is a very effective way to control them... Pshaw, don't follow my example.

Wait, what are you going to do...?

……

Although the banging and smashing next door had stopped, Su Shi's panic had not completely subsided and she was even more worried.

Every time she tried to comfort China, who was caught in a fit of rage or sadness, the response she received was always a harsh "Get out of here." Was she afraid of hurting herself?

But I only felt that her attitude was bad, without thinking about it more deeply.

No wonder she said that she didn't care about others.

But I'm not a psychologist, so it's not my fault that I couldn't guess this situation, right?

No, you should pay attention when someone shows significant emotional fluctuations.

No, I did notice, but she still wouldn't accept it!

Su Shi felt that her thoughts were very chaotic, like scattered pieces of paper in the air.

It's hard to say who's right and who's wrong; perhaps no one is right or wrong at all.

It's not wrong for China not to want to reveal her illness and cause panic among others.

I was unaware of China's illness, so it wasn't wrong of me not to show her more understanding.

Even though her psychological defense mechanisms kept guiding her to avoid the situation and try to rationalize it, feelings of shame gradually surfaced.

Perhaps it's precisely because it's a comparison.

Aine, who also knew about China's mental illness, not only did not abandon her, but continued to be China's best friend.

Looking at himself, he fainted after only seeing the scar on China's wrist.

It's understandable because I've rarely seen such a scene.

As a subconscious psychological defense mechanism, it is still trying to salvage Su Shi's sense of shame.

Ultimately, however, the main consciousness prevailed, causing Su Shi to walk to Qian Nai's bedroom door again, filled with guilt and worry.

At the same time, fear prevented Su Shi from knocking on the door.

Perhaps keeping our distance is the right thing to do.

Hearing footsteps in the corridor, China slowly opened the door a crack.

Su Shi instinctively took a step back again, only to see half a cell phone sticking out from the crack in the door.

The screen displays a QR code for adding friends.

"If you feel scared, keep a wall between you and your phone; that might just satisfy your concern."

Although Su Shi was originally the one who cared, it was Chi Nai who started thinking about how to satisfy the other party's desire to please.

Su Shi first scanned the QR code and added Qian Nai.

Indeed, this allows you to offer care through chat, voice, and video calls while avoiding physical contact.

Preparing breakfast in advance and then using my phone to wake up China is quite nice.

Is this the only way to offer care, limited by one's own fears...?

At this moment, China closed the door a crack and sent a second solution via her phone.

"If you feel there's a barrier in mobile communication, I have another way to make you feel safe. If you'd like, reply 'yes' and come to my room to play games in fifteen minutes."

After some further struggle, Su Shi agreed.

Then, I waited anxiously for the long fifteen minutes.

During this time, I heard some clattering sounds from chairs, but they weren't loud, unlike the sound of someone smashing a chair in anger.

When the time came, Su Shi gradually approached the bedroom door, her heart pounding even harder with each step she took.

Calm down, Su Shi. It's Xiao Qian Nai who needs to be cared for.

And she said she had a way of making me feel safe.

Su Shi encouraged herself as she opened the door.