The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

Miss Hisamitsu shrank into a corner of the kitchen, tapping her forehead repeatedly with her fan. Both of them looked at each other with the same suspicion.

What happened? My charm stopped working?

Hisamitsu-sama is a magician specializing in assimilation. Her allure, or rather, charm, is an almost incurable poison. The opposite sex is utterly powerless to resist, and even those of the same sex will fall at her feet. Only special life forms devoid of emotion, and inanimate objects without will, can resist her charm.

Other possibilities that can be considered include a stronger individual than her, or an extremely rare case of someone whose mental state has been specially enhanced...

—In other words, at least a (legendary) mage like me.

Lu Wenjun was also puzzled. He'd seen all sorts of spells, but this was the first time he'd seen one so inexplicable. It didn't seem like someone had activated a spell and was very confident; what reason did they have for someone to do as they were told? Unless…

Is it divinity?

He tried to command obedience through divinity, but his own divinity resisted, leading to this comical scene. A mage's first reaction is usually to use spells; this guy probably lacked confidence in his spells, hence his reliance on divinity. Thinking about it that way…

—Most likely, he is a (heterodox) mage like me.

Hisamitsu moved silently.

In a battle between equals, careful consideration is needed. With such strong mental resistance, the opponent must have prepared at least two specialized spells. His direct combat ability is relatively weak, and his magic power doesn't seem particularly high either, so…

Here, we'll use close combat and rely on magic to decide the victor!

"watch out!"

Miss Hisamitsu pounced, launching an attack with incredibly clumsy and sloppy movements! Lü Wenjun instinctively dodged to the side, but Miss Hisamitsu was incredibly fast! The legendary mage's high magical power brought high attack power, and even with her terrible movements, she still managed to hit him! Lü Wenjun was tackled to the ground!

Hisamitsu gripped his shoulders and sneered, "I've suppressed him. I've won."

Lu Wenjun said expressionlessly, "You didn't lock the neck or the joints, what kind of suppression are you applying..."

He shrugged, like a slippery eel, and rolled away from Jiuguang's grasp. Jiuguang, seeing this, panicked and quickly grabbed Lü Wenjun's arm to pull him back.

Her movements were haphazard yet incredibly alluring, and Lü Wenjun couldn't break free no matter what he did. The two were entangled on the ground for a moment, and Lü Wenjun exclaimed impatiently, "Can't you be a little more mindful of your image?!"

"It doesn't matter... You'll forget about it all soon enough...!" Hisamitsu said miserably.

Lu Wenjun was really anxious. Being entangled with such a scantily clad female thief was too much for him, a young man like him. He immediately put on a fierce but weak voice: "I'm warning you, I'm going to fight back. Don't blame me if you get scratched or hurt!"

Hisamitsu's smile grew even more sinister: "Go ahead and try, you've already... What? You really want to do it?!"

"What kind of good person doesn't fight back when they're being beaten?!"

The two rolled from the kitchen into the living room, their fight escalating. Seeing that the strange fellow might actually be trying to escape, Hisamitsu hurriedly shouted, "Mingxiao, where did you go? The thief is getting away!!"

Lu Wenjun was taken aback: "Huh? You..."

Just then, the gate opened wide, and Mingxiao rushed back, just in time to see the spectacular scene of Lü Wenjun and Jiuguang, who was only wearing a shirt and undershirt, rolling around together.

Her expression changed rapidly, going through many stages such as shock, doubt, admiration, and amazement before finally reaching the final "Wow!"

The two froze on the ground. Mingxiao turned and ran, saying, "I'll excuse myself for a moment—"

"Why are you running?!" "Come back here!"

·

Five minutes later, the three of them each occupied a sofa. Lu Wenjun and Jiuguang both looked equally shocked, while Mingxiao sat on the long sofa in the middle, looking as guilty as could be.

Lu Wenjun tried to summarize: "You mean... there's actually been a third person living in this house all along...?"

He nodded with a forced smile.

"The reason they won't let me go up to the third floor is because this Miss Hisamitsu has been holed up on the third floor all along??"

Nodding, nodding, nodding.

"I haven't left the house for a whole month??"

Mingxiao corrected: "Actually, her average duration of autism is three months..."

Lu Wenjun took a deep breath, and Mingxiao covered her ears in advance.

"What are you doing, senior?!"

"Woooo..."

Hisamitsu flew into a rage: "I'm the one who said that! This is my house! Why is there this inexplicable magician infiltrating my safe house? Mingxiao, you better give me an explanation!!"

Mingxiao was unusually assertive when facing Jiuguang: "I did ask for your opinion beforehand!"

"Huh?! When?!"

Without a word, Mingxiao took out his jade pendant and played a recording. The first thing he heard was an extremely obsequious voice: "Little Jiuguang, there's something I'd like to ask you~"

"Don't make a sound, don't make a sound when you're about to die from the boss!"

The voice, deliberately slowed down and drawn out yet leisurely, said, "That's right, a junior of mine has run into some trouble recently, and I happen to have something I'd like to ask him for help with. We do have a spare room in our Water Mirror Pavilion, so I was thinking of letting him stay there for a while..."

"Okay, okay, I understand. You decide for yourself."

So you have no objections?

"Ahhh, okay, okay, okay, that's how it is, I'm dead—ah! I'm dead, it's all your fault!"

The recording ended with a loud thud, sounding like the controller was slammed onto the table.

Lu Wenjun was filled with fear. Such a despicable and shameless act refreshed his understanding and made him realize once again the unfathomable depths of Mingxiao, this magical creature.

Mingxiao tossed the jade pendant aside, a sinister smile playing on her lips: "I specifically asked beforehand, and you said you had no objections~"

Hisamitsu was furious: "Mingxiao! You tricked me!!"

Mingxiao whistled: "It's not good for people who don't listen to others~ Wait, you shut-in girl, you dare to lay a hand on me! You've gone too far!!"

With a howl, Jiuguang pounced on Mingxiao, grabbing a cushion and smashing it over her head. Mingxiao, clearly experienced in such squabbles, immediately grabbed her armpits and started scratching herself. The two beautiful girls, whose only defining characteristic was their appearance, chattered and fought amongst themselves, while Lu Wenjun, watching from the sidelines, just wanted to fly away and escape this unbearable place.

"Senior, this is already embarrassing enough, please don't continue..." Lü Wenjun covered his face, "And why didn't you tell me? If you had communicated earlier, things wouldn't have turned out like this, would they?"

Mingxiao stopped abruptly, laughing awkwardly, "Actually... I was planning to tell you after we got to know each other better..."

"result?"

I'm so sorry I forgot about it.

"You idiot rabbit!"

Hisamitsu angrily slammed down a cushion, straddled Akira, and shouted, "I won't accept this! I absolutely refuse to live under the same roof as someone like that!"

Lu Wenjun pressed his hands down, signaling her to calm down: "I understand how you feel, Miss Hisamitsu. But you also know that you were not aware of it subjectively. The culprit is this...this...this lump..."

Mingxiao was shocked: "Why are the classifiers used to describe me becoming more and more rude?"

"This unidentified creature," Lü Wenjun concluded, "Now that things have come to this, can we all have a proper discussion? I arrived later, so I'm open to discussing any requests I may have..."

"There's no room for negotiation, I absolutely refuse!" Hisamitsu said emphatically. "A home is a place where you can feel safe not wearing pants. How can I feel safe and comfortable not wearing pants when there are strange men around?"

Lu Wenjun was furious: "Put them on! If you're so ashamed, please put your pants on right now!"

Miss Hisamitsu, who was riding on Akatsuki's bare thighs, was furious upon hearing this: "Then why are you still keeping your eyes open? Close your eyes until the end of the world."

"Never!"

Mingxiao coughed and tried to smooth things over: "It's true, it's a bit of a hassle to always have to wear pants at home..."

Lu Wenjun was shocked: "Senior, are you also an exhibitionist?"

"Have you never had the experience of walking around naked at home?" Mingxiao asked seriously.

"I don't want to discuss this kind of topic with girls!"

"In short, it's only natural to want to be more open at home... but having one more resident just means we're shrinking the area, right?" Mingxiao said with a grin. "Jiuguang, you usually stay on the 3rd floor and rarely come down except for occasional meals, so Wenjun living here doesn't really affect you."

Hisamitsu was utterly shocked: "You actually called her by her first name... Mingxiao, you've changed! My unwanted, violent, idiotic roommate has finally turned into a little bitch who brings men home!"

"The plan has changed. I'll bury you in the back of the mountain right now!"

Mingxiao dragged Jiuguang away fiercely, while the latter gripped the sofa tightly in resistance: "I! Don't! Want to! Not! To! Change my freedom of movement because of some weirdo, and I don't like this guy!!"

Lu Wenjun also had a headache: "Senior, I guess I'll move out. I really have nothing to say to this weirdo who wears a Ghosts 'n Goblins' T-shirt...?!"

Before he could finish speaking, Miss Hisamitsu's eyes lit up, like a cat spotting a mouse. That expression immediately triggered a strong sense of crisis in Lü Wenjun: "What do you want to do?"

Hisamitsu clutched his T-shirt, his expression subtle: "You actually recognize this..."

Her T-shirt featured a gray pixelated knight figure, giving it an inexplicably shabby look. A flash of surprise crossed Lü Wenjun's eyes, and he quickly corrected himself, "I don't know him, I was just making it up..."

Hisamitsu squinted and suddenly asked, "Federation faction or Zeon faction!"

"They're all terrible and I don't want to stand up for any of them. If I really have to say, I'm Uncle Mule's sole supporter..." Lü Wenjun quickly covered his mouth, "You!"

However, it was too late; Hisamitsu had already made his decision! His confidence was like that of a terrorist who had just seen the timer button on a bomb being pressed!

"Asuka or Rei Ayanami?"

"Of course it's Asuka."

What is the most famous origin of the phrase "up, down, down, left, right, left, right, baby"?

"The 30-lives cheat code for Contra".

Hisamitsu's eyes gleamed: "Do you still remember what Bajie said a month before he died?!"

"I want to eat ham... ahh!"

Lu Wenjun desperately covered his mouth, but an almost instinctive reaction made him subconsciously catch the joke! The instincts of a true enthusiast are irresistible!

Hisamitsu, elated, threw out the final blow: "Can you remember exactly how many loaves of bread you've eaten up to today?!"

"13 yuan? I'm a Japanese food enthusiast—ugh, damn it!!!"

Lu Wenjun knelt helplessly, pounding the ground in humiliation. Miss Jiuguang unfolded her fan, letting out an excited laugh: "Oh ho ho ho, to actually unearth such a rare species, Mingxiao, well done!"

Mingxiao had already let go and subtly moved a little further away from Lü Wenjun: "Wenjun, so you're... the kind of person who likes to smile like an idiot in front of a projection screen...?"

Lu Wenjun shouted hoarsely, "No! No! I just happened to come across some related works. I'm not a hardcore fan!! Don't look at me like that!"

Hisamitsu looked extremely pleased: "It's resolved. Living with this kind of guy is definitely not a problem."

Why the sudden 180° turn?

Hisamitsu pointed his fan at someone on the ground, delivering a cruel final verdict.

"Because this guy is a super nerd whose depth is comparable to mine!"

Lu Wenjun clutched his head and screamed, "Don't slander me!"

Hisamitsu pressed on: "No courage, no impulse, no drive. I know that without you saying it. At this age, you've never even been in a relationship, let alone kissed, right? You spend most of your time reading, studying, and appreciating works, so your interpersonal relationships are a disaster, aren't they? What's there to worry about living with someone like that?"

She delivered the final blow under Lü Wenjun's rigid gaze.

"In the end, nerds are even more harmless than rabbits; they're the ultimate female-friendly life form, hahahahaha!"

"Damn it, oooh oooh oooh oooh...!!"

The overly harsh and realistic comments almost brought tears of blood to Lü Wenjun's eyes! Senior Mingxiao's sympathetic gaze further intensified the sense of misery at that moment!

"Well, to put it another way, absolute peace of mind is also a kind of... masculinity, right..."

"Reassured? You actually used that word to describe me? How could you take such a weirdo's assessment seriously?!" Lü Wenjun was furious and embarrassed. "Don't underestimate me. I'm the most dangerous man in the whole world. You all better watch out! Don't laugh! I said don't laugh!!"

Hisamitsu shouted, "Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!"

"I'll fucking take my clothes off right now and show you!!"

"Wenjun, calm down! Don't fall for this woman's tricks!"

The debate about masculinity and a sense of security lasted for about an afternoon.

In conclusion, Lü Wenjun, who was deemed harmless to living organisms, was granted the right to continue residing there. However, the arrival of a new roommate forced him to sign a humiliating agreement.

"I want to play Fire and Ice Man in the Forest," said Miss Hisamitsu.

"Then go play! Control two characters yourself. It's not that difficult to use WASD and the arrow keys at the same time. Everyone's done it this way. Why are you shoving the controller at me? I don't want it!"

"Let's play until 1 a.m. tonight!"

"I have to get up at 8 AM tomorrow, you idiot!!"

That is, as an apology for the chili incident. When Miss Hisamitsu wants to play online games, she must accompany her as the only P2 character in the house.

Lu Wenjun's study time was thus further squeezed. With the obstruction of this eccentric and terrifying reclusive girl, could he still win first place in the midterm exams?

Come on, nerd! Don't lose, nerd!!

Chapter 48 The Makeover Project for Handsome Men (Third Update)