The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

The next day, in the cafeteria, Lü Wenjun gnawed on his bread with deep resentment.

"Do I look like a nerd to you?" he asked.

Faris's reaction was quite professional, befitting a magician: "Is this some kind of witchcraft? I've heard that asking for secrets shortens one's lifespan, so I'm not really keen on answering..."

"Bullshit, someone recently slandered me as a nerd."

Faris suddenly realized: "This guy's moves are very tricky. He's cleverly set up the trap, and you really won't be able to fight back."

"What is a nerd?" Ling Gong asked curiously.

"Good question. To talk about this term, we have to talk about the unspoken rules on campuses in our American class system!"

Faris stacked a corn chip, cucumber, and a large pork chop into an ugly triangle: "First of all, the most powerful and prestigious people on campus are the top students who excel academically and are good-looking, as well as the muscular and athletic jocks. They're like this corn chip—healthy, puffy, and exuding an enviable, luxurious gold..."

Lu Wenjun rolled his eyes: "Wake up, that's junk food."

"I won't allow you to insult my favorite snacks!" Faris declared passionately. "Secondly, there are those ordinary, unremarkable types, collectively known as 'normal.' These students, ABCD, are like cucumbers in a hamburger—nobody cares, but they're always there."

"Can I have lettuce instead? I like lettuce," Velsa said.

“Don’t try to take a seat from cucumbers, you steel-clad corn chips,” Faris said, grabbing his fork. “In the end, there’s the wretched bottom of the class, as miserable as pigs!”

Faris poked at the pitiful piece of flesh: "These kinds of people spend most of their time studying, but their grades aren't outstanding. They're also not good at socializing, their style is often a bit outdated, and they're probably into subcultures, so they get mercilessly mocked by muscular guys. Americans call them nerds, or bookworms!"

Ling Gong and Versa nodded in understanding at the same time.

"So it was a nerd..." "It was a nerd..."

"That's a lie!" Lu Wenjun slammed his fist on the table. "How could a good magician like me, who is excellent in both character and academics, be turned into a pig? This is pure slander and stereotype."

“Mr. Lu, please don’t rush. Let’s go through it step by step.” Faris counted on his fingers. “First of all, nerds generally don’t care much about their clothes. They wear shirts, overalls, or school uniforms 365 days a year…”

The three of them looked at Lü Wenjun, who had been granted special permission to wear a white school uniform.

"Alright, buddy, that's enough. Let's move on to the next item."

"What's wrong with school uniforms?! They're comfortable to wear and you don't have to worry about matching them, isn't that great?!"

“Nerds basically don’t participate in group activities; they either work or study in their spare time.” Faris picked up a burrito, rolled it up, and used it as a microphone. “Mr. Lu, may I ask, besides working and studying, what else do you do after class?”

Lu Wenjun's lips twisted in a grimace: "Studying magic theory..."

Linggong innocently added, "Speaking of which, Wenjun also said not long ago that he didn't want to join a club."

Vilsa pressed on: "I've never seen him train on his own initiative..."

"I have a great understanding of all sorts of weird and wonderful trivia and subcultures, and I'm very happy to show them off..."

The three-person council unanimously ruled: "That's right, it's 100% nerd!"

"Guwa-!"

Lu Wenjun, traumatized, lay slumped on the table, his face contorted in a rage, poised to retaliate. At that moment, Pershka, at the next table, stood up with a plate and casually placed down a crystal-clear ice cube—engraved with a large portrait of Lu Wenjun and a line of small characters.

“You forgot your nerd certificate, please take it.” Pershka chuckled.

"Gah—!"

Having suffered two consecutive mental shocks, Lü Wenjun fell into a miserable state of unconsciousness. Ling Gong quickly stood the nerd certificate upright and used the jade pendant to capture this wonderful moment.

Versa read the small print on the certificate: "Mr. Lü Wenjun is hereby certified as a professional nerd. We hope he will continue to work hard and make further efforts."

Faris looked pleased: "You're a certified person now, you've made something of yourself..."

After trying for a long time, Lu Wenjun's usually eloquent tongue could only utter two words: "Fuck!"

·

“Dude, you don’t need to be so anxious. ‘Nerd’ is just a joke; nobody takes it seriously,” Faris said. “Besides, you’re a campus celebrity, a top freshman genius. So what if you’re a nerd? You’re at least an enhanced, invincible, youthful version of the Golden Nerd!”

"I'm not anxious at all, I'm perfectly normal," said Lü Wenjun, holding a basketball.

Faris silently observed his athletic shorts, basketball shoes, and size 24 purple and yellow tank top: "If you keep doing this, my abs might not be able to hold up."

Lu Wenjun started spinning a basketball with his fingertips: "I don't know what you're talking about. I've always been a high-energy sports student!"

"Even if you deliberately deepen your voice, it will only make you sound stupid."

"Enough with the chit-chat, I'm going to practice my dunks. See you tomorrow."

Faris calmly pointed out the key point: "First of all, our school doesn't have a basketball court."

Lu Wenjun dropped the basketball and took out a rugby helmet.

"Secondly, they don't play rugby here, there's no football, and you might as well throw away your volleyball too, they really don't play these games."

Lu Wenjun angrily threw down the volleyball: "Why?! Where has the sportsmanship of Trista College gone?"

“Our Sage Magic is a pure humanities subject. Don’t you think it’s a bit strange to seek sportsmanship in a humanities college?” Faris said. “Besides, isn’t it a bit ridiculous to make demons and monsters compete fairly? Who’s going to play football with you if they have wings?”

"Isn't there a unique mage competition like Quidditch?"

“I have to remind you that this is the Otherworld. If you want to have a fight, you don’t usually need to use sports as a cover. You can just fight in the arena.” Faris pointed out, “The sports students in the Otherworld are like Velsa, who are skilled in all kinds of martial arts and are killing machines… If you want to change your career path, I suggest you give up your ball and practice the Fangtian Halberd. At least you’ll look more imposing.”

Lu Wenjun immediately deflated: "Forget it, I practiced it eight hundred years ago. My dad said I swung it like I was rinsing poop with a mop."

“I really wanted to say something to comfort you, but since even your own father said that… it probably really is awful…” Faris patted his shoulder. “You were probably born to be a civil servant immortal.”

Lu Wenjun frowned and said, "Damn it, if this keeps up, we'll really be looked down upon. Don't they have anything like a 'top certificate'?"

"The term 'top certificate' sounds like something from an online debate; 'current life certificate' seems more appropriate."

"Whether it's top or popular, it's something like an exam! Passing it allows you to immediately advance your social class!"

Faris couldn't bear to look at him: "Dude, you even want to prove you're not a test maniac with exams... You're hopeless! I declare you the epitome of the nerd stereotype, a 100% pure-blooded nerd!"

"Shut up! Don't say anything more!"

Just then, a strange voice interrupted.

"Hey hey hey, I heard there's a kid who wants to prove himself~~?"

Breeze, Bill's teaching assistant and buddy, happened to stroll by and perched by the window, watching the two of them with a sly grin. It pulled out a carrot and began to nibble on it dramatically: "I've got a good idea..."

"I'm not interested in rabbit-themed, popular people..."

Breyer said unhurriedly, "It was what Bill used to prove himself back then..."

Lu Wenjun immediately rushed forward: "Please speak, Master Rabbit!"

Faris's eyes lit up: "Holy crap, I want to share too!"

Whether you're a "real-life" person or a top student, you're just a shining success on campus. But Pex Bill is a heartthrob who appeals to men, women, young and old! In the month since he started teaching, he's received over 30 love letters. There's even an upperclasswoman who came to audit the first-year urban legends class just to woo him. His popularity is terrifying.

The difference between Bill and the average successful person is like the difference between the World Cup and a school football league. If you want to improve yourself, you should take successful predecessors as your role models!

"This is no secret; it's more like an old tradition of Trista Academy..."

For some reason, Breeze Rabbit's smile looked a little sinister.

Have you ever heard of the game of the brave?

·

The so-called "game of the brave" is a foolish, outdated, dangerous, and antiquated tradition. Men eager to prove their courage would voluntarily go to dangerous places for a night and return with spoils to prove they had grown by completing the challenge.

To outsiders, this thing is as stupid as it sounds. Because the participants are generally students who haven't even grown up yet, the dangerous places they see are just the forests or wastelands next to town; the danger is nothing more than mosquito bites and the occasional bear passing by. In other words…

"It's just a trick for kids to pass the time!"

"What kind of 'Little Scouts College Edition' is this? I should have dug out my adventure hat and camouflage shorts."

"We were really fooled by that rabbit. There was no danger at all. What a waste of time."

"Not scary at all. Hahaha!"

"Ahahahaha!"

Lu Wenjun and Faris laughed three times, and the cold wind blowing by the Frosty Smoke Lake also brought waves of melancholy laughter.

The fog was so thick you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, and ethereal white shadows drifted on the water's surface. These intangible shadows moved like the wind, and every now and then, pale faces would fall, casting lifeless gazes, making the already cold lakeside even more chilly.

Lu Wenjun politely responded to their... their gazes with a smile. He took several deep breaths and spoke calmly and steadily.

"Why are there so many ghosts in this place?!"

Faris was pale: "Don't call it a ghost. Use the scientific name, that thing is called a spirit!"

"Aren't spirits and ghosts all the same thing? They're all the kind of things that Professor Ji often talks about in class, the kind of things that are categorized as feudal superstition and don't exist!"

"Don't you know this perfectly well? You used to play around with those spirits during class, so why is your voice trembling now?!"

"Where the hell are there so many classroom quizzes?!"

So many spirits.

So many spirits.

Spirits were in the water, in the wind, floating in the mist; spirits lay in the sleeping bags they brought; spirits paraded through the station on the opposite shore of the lake. The entire area around Frosty Lake Station was teeming with spirits; their terrifying faces could be seen floating before one's eyes in the blink of an eye.

This is Trista Academy's only designated "Jumanji" location, Frosty Lake, the first stop for new students. When they first arrived, with Mingxiao protecting them and Lao Fa leading the way, they didn't think much of it. But now, late at night, alone, they've come here and are suddenly struck by the lake's beauty…

It's an absolutely haunted place!

"Doesn't the school do anything about it? There's no reason to talk about ecological protection for something like this. It's more like there's no ecology at all!"

Faris shuddered: "I heard there's a huge cemetery under our school... things that can't be contained there will rise up..."

"Stop it! That terrifying thing should just be crushed to death, okay?!"

"Then, worried about potential problems, the school specifically used Frost Smoke Lake to store those things and prevent them from running around..."

Lu Wenjun slowly raised his hand: "You mean the school had already considered everything, but the two of us came here specifically to court disaster?"

That's why it's called a game for the brave.

"Great, we can change the plan. Nerds or normals don't matter anymore, safety is the most important thing. Go back, go back, go back!"

Lu Wenjun grabbed Faris and tried to rush back, but the usually cowardly Faris stood still. His expression was also a little stiff: "How about we hold on a little longer..."

"Dude, wake up! Nobody's watching, so what's the point of saving face!"

Faris raised the jade pendant: "But I've already started a thread on the forum."

"Why?!"

"Because that guy Velsa had such a blast consuming data traffic before, I want to try it too!" Faris clutched his chest.

"Damn it, I really want to slap your ugly face, you're just trying to become an internet celebrity!" Lü Wenjun snatched the jade pendant. "Let me see... only 3 replies, great, quickly delete them—squeak!"

The three replies he saw are as follows.

-Al-ice: The idiots have started another idiotic adventure. Can they really make it to tomorrow?

Pershka.

-[Administrator] Cowboy: Ah, those were the days! I did similar silly things back in my student days. The water at Frost Mist Lake is really cold. [Horse Head][Horse Head]

Pex Bill.

-[Millennium Cave] People appear and disappear like ghosts: Awesome, keep it up! This is youth! I guess I'll just stake out the area tonight since I'm free. Will the brave turn into cowards?

And Kano.

"Kano, you bastard! Aaaaaaah!" Lu Wenjun went berserk.

Faris's face darkened: "I think right now, there's definitely the Beast Witch Breeze and Kano lurking on the main road to school..."

"You bastard, you've driven us to the brink! If we go out now, the whole school will know we're cowards by tomorrow!"

“It’s alright, I’m prepared for this one.” Faris said confidently. “Didn’t I borrow your original text to study for a week? I developed a spell that’s very effective against spirits.”

Lu Wenjun squinted: "I find it hard to believe someone who has just gone bankrupt..."

"Besides, I'm from Maine, so I know a thing or two about spirits." Faris smiled confidently. "Spirits don't have physical bodies; they're basically just clusters of magical energy that rely on matter to cause trouble."

"Oh, so you mean you need to be possessed."

"Yes, yes, those floating around are actually fine, but hearing footsteps means something big is about to happen."

Lu Wenjun nodded and said, "Listen to what's behind you."

"Huh? Don't scare me—"

Da. Da. Da da.

Footsteps could be heard.