I'm not Doraemon, I'm just a salesman

There are countless different people in countless worlds, and this means that he, a fun-loving person, also has countless fun.

Gua! ! !It was really a happy life~~~

Qiming doesn't expect many people to understand him, and he doesn't need others' understanding.But when his assistant and pet Miss Nimfu asked her to choose for once, Qiming naturally agreed happily.

For him, it was a double pleasure.

When the fun he had sown was about to bear its final fruit, he was looking forward to watching the performance of his assistant and the person she chose.

After tasting the lunch of the people on earth, Nimfu set off to find the person she thought was qualified to get this 'prop'.

She still has to rush to watch the noon drama series after two o'clock this afternoon, but fortunately, she has actually used her own ability and big data screening to find a 'suitable' choice.

In the rising green teleportation fluid, Nimfu and Qiming arrived in front of a large shopping mall in Nevada.

There's a demonstration going on right now, or rather, it's where more than 30 anti-gun law protesters are holding signs.

"Stop selling the rampant arms! Give the next generation a safe future!"

"We need a safe environment! Stop selling guns!"

“World peace starts with us!!!”

The flag-waving protesters kept repeating their ideas and demands - in short, they are to ban guns and stop the sale of excessive firearms.

"...Is this the holder you picked out?"

Qiming raised his eyebrows and looked at the noisy people below, then turned to look at Nimfu and said

"Well, they are against guns and like peace. According to human standards, they are good people." Nimfu said confidently

Good people with things that can change the world will definitely do good things. This is the normal conclusion that Nimfu's thinking draws.

There are no mistakes to be made, and the conclusion is very normal.A good starting point, a good purpose, and good actions should lead to good results.

1+1+1 must be >1. Is there anything wrong?

"Hehehehe..."

Qi Ming smiled and said nothing. He may have made some predictions about what might happen, but he wouldn't say it, and he certainly wouldn't say it.

However, the group of people chosen by Nimfu can be considered a relatively normal group in this country - at least compared to those environmentalists who ran to the slaughterhouse holding signs to protest the slaughter of livestock, and those environmentalists who ran to people's barbecue restaurants and threw feces in front of them. It's normal for vegetarians.

The fact that Nimfu did not choose an LGBTQ or one of those boxing fighters all over the world already shows that she has a considerable understanding of the human world.

Well, quite so.

Anyway, Qiming himself does not dare to claim that he knows everything about all human groups.

The person Nimfu chose was a woman on the edge of these noisy crowds.

She was a standard Western blond girl, and even her name was very stereotypical 'Emily'.But Ms. Emily is already a mother of two — ever.

Her eldest son suffered a school shooting when he was in elementary school last year. A naughty kid holding an M1917 Smith & Wesson from his father's collection had a conflict with his classmates when he was showing off at school, and then the massacre began directly.

Sounds a little weird?But in this country it is an ordinary thing.

This is the case with giving the general public firepower that they cannot control, but now this issue has long evolved into a pure issue of interests.

But no matter what, the result of this crazy naughty kid's random shooting was that he killed three classmates on the spot and injured four others. Of course, the result of this unlucky kid was just being sent to a juvenile detention center.

No, he didn't even go to a juvenile detention center, because the parents of this naughty child declared online on the day of the accident that their child was a poor child with gender cognitive disorder, polysexuality, and a certificate of schizophrenia issued by a mental hospital. .

He didn't even go to the juvenile detention center for a day, and was sent directly to a boarding school in another state by his parents.

From that day on, poor Emily transformed from a staunch Tea Party person to an extreme anti-gun activist, and began to preach peace and justice.

As for why not take revenge?It is really inhumane for you to ask a single mother with a daughter who is still in kindergarten to get a gun and exchange one-on-one with others.

Generally speaking, the person chosen by Nimfu is not a big problem, but as for the result...

Anyway, Qiming, he is happy to appreciate any outcome.

"Oppose the proliferation of guns! Correct the Third Amendment!"

Emily was waving the flag and shouting vigorously when she suddenly felt someone pulling her clothes behind her. She lowered her head and saw a cute little girl with a blue ponytail staring directly at her.

Cute things, regardless of gender, can always awaken the love in others' hearts. The angry and red expression on Emily's face immediately softened, and she said softly

"Kid, is there anything I can do for you?"

"If you had a machine that could grant wishes, what would you wish for?"

Nimfu asked Emily seriously, and such an abrupt question made her stunned for a few seconds.

Could it be that this child is doing social research homework?Or some TV program?

It's unclear, but Emily doesn't seem to think deeply about this kind of problem.

"If my wish can come true, of course I hope for world peace."

Emily smiled and touched Nimfu's hair. The latter shook his head with some resistance, pouted and took out a square blue box from behind.

The box looks very delicate and high-tech. Its structure is made of dark blue unknown material, and there is a big blue button right above it.

"Then it's yours."

Nimfu gave the box to Emily. She seemed a little unaccustomed to the too many people and noisy environment here, and said with a somewhat uncomfortable expression.

"Whatever you wish for can come true at the push of a button."

Emily looked at the exquisitely crafted box in her hand. Until now, she thought it was a harmless prank, or some TV show.

So she also joked half-jokingly while pressing the button.

"Then I will wish for world peace."

boom! ! !

The moment the button was pressed, a small sky-blue man suddenly appeared next to Emily, laughing and raising his hands under her horrified expression.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks, Look at me!!!"

"What the hell—"

Emily was so frightened that she screamed. She swore that this sky-blue little man who looked like a genie in a magic lamp really appeared suddenly.

"I will fulfill your wish!!!"

Mr. Mission Bida responded with a laugh, then snatched the box from Emily's hand and ran to the other side like a joyful man.

"Hey - what does this mean?!"

Still in a state of confusion and instinctive anger when something was taken away, Emily questioned Nimfu, but at some point, the little girl also disappeared without a trace.

Ms. Emily, who looked confused, felt that she might have been hallucinating just now.

Damn, if I had known I shouldn't have smoked pot before I left the house this morning!

12. Punch the entrepreneur’s head off!

"I am Mr. Mission Mustafa, look at me!"

“Buy me an eighteen-inch Italian pizza with pepperoni, black olives, and more mushrooms—and remember to add pineapple.”

At the top of a building, Qiming pressed a button to summon a Mr. Must-have mission. As the order was given, the little blue man immediately jumped down the building happily and ran towards the pizza shop in the distance.

"As a 'wishing machine', this thing is indeed not as high-end as it looks."

Qiming turned around and smiled at Nimfu, patted the box and said

"This thing can only summon these mission-defining gentlemen. They will complete the tasks assigned by you and regard it as the only meaning of life. You don't have to worry about slavery or not. Most of the mission-defining gentlemen regard completing the mission as their life." The only meaning, and death is the happiest release.”

Even though he said this, Nimfu still seemed a little unhappy.

Maybe it's because she messed up the task of being a 'master' for the first time.

Although this all-powerful angel has an arrogant personality, he is actually a very serious child.

"Then why did he take that box away, just to complete his mission faster?"

Nimfu complained and pushed Qiming's hand away, and said with some resentment.

"You didn't explain clearly before you gave it to me that this thing is so difficult to use..."

"Fun is born from the unknown and accidents." Qiming touched his chin and smiled happily

"I can only say that the 'good' person you chose has delayed the changes and performances brought about by this prop. But if you are patient, the more delayed the performance, the higher the fun it will bring."

"Of course, you can't get props from me now. Next time, you have to wait a little longer."

"So are you deliberately seeing my joke?" Nimfu squinted.

"of course."

After answering bluntly, Nimfu, who was so angry that her teeth were itching, punched Qiming's waist with her little fist, neither lightly nor hard, and said angrily.

"You are indeed a mean-spirited person!"

"I'm just a chaotic person." Qiming hugged his fragrant pet and smiled happily while looking at the endless flow of people below.

"It's a pity that in most societies built on 'order', a person like me who has 'no good or evil' will always be classified as the 'evil' party."

Of course, he just doesn't care at all.

He does not expect how much others will thank him or how happy he will be.His pleasure is just watching things change, and that's enough.

"Completed!!!"

Mr. Mission Bida ran over with a pizza covered with a layer of pineapple slices. Judging from the scars on his body, it seemed that he had had a fight with someone.

But it doesn't matter. After completing his mission, the little blue man turned into a cloud of smoke and exploded with his usual cheerful smile, while Qiming opened the box and enjoyed a sunset lunch with his pet.

An ordinary day turned into night.

Qiming turned on his phone and smiled softly as he watched the verbal criticism of Wu Nian on the Internet disappear with the disappearance of information control, as well as the barrages concentrated in those live broadcast rooms that could not be turned off.

It's time to start the final choice that belongs to another person.

......

"In our union, workers' wages cannot be high. Too high is not conducive to the development of enterprises and the country."

In the largest hotel in Deep Sea City, at an entrepreneur symposium held at the venue, the leader, a middle-aged and elderly Caucasian wearing glasses and looking kind-hearted, was talking eloquently.

"You see, if a company pays workers too high wages, then costs will increase significantly, which means output will decrease and fewer goods will be circulated on the market."

"Since there are fewer goods, prices will rise. Since prices rise, it is a huge burden for the people of our union."

"Aren't workers part of the public? Therefore, the enterprises in our consortium do not pay workers excessively high wages because it is for their sake."

He said this with great assurance, his face was not red and his heart was not beating, as if all this was the most normal thing.

Opposite him was a well-known host sent by the TV station. He seemed to be unable to maintain the fake smile on his face.

But he had to hold back, and even pretend to agree, because the person in front of him was a major customer of their TV station, and he was not easy to mess with...

Although it is from other consortiums of the Pan-Asian Alliance, this 'Mr. Maha' obviously intends to enter the market of other consortiums.

But no matter what, the basic ethics and work necessities of being a host still forced him to speak.

"But Mr. Maha, the effect of the high wages of many foreign-invested enterprises in our consortium also proves the need to increase workers' income to a certain extent..."

"That's all false and a conspiracy of outside capitalists!"

Mr. Maha directly interrupted the host and said righteously

"Forcing various enterprises in the entire consortium to increase labor costs by raising workers' wages is a despicable act that delays the development prospects of the entire consortium! At least in our consortium, this is not allowed!"

The smile on the host's face was obviously unbearable, but he was more worried about the later problems than listening to the thing in front of him talking nonsense.

——Obviously, it is obviously impossible to broadcast all the 'truth' that this old guy said just now after drinking too much yellow soup.

Although it is said to be live broadcast, their program is obviously impossible to be played for real.Delays of 15 minutes are common, so what they have to consider now is the post-production editing work within 15 minutes.

How to edit the "not human words" spoken by this old thing into something that barely sounds like "human words"... It gives me a headache just thinking about it.

But fortunately, it's not him who needs to worry about it. He only needs to continue to be his own mouthpiece and human-shaped walkie-talkie here.Just ask the questions according to the script, then nod with a fake smile and say yes.

Authenticity?Freshness?Orientation?

Among the three major principles of journalism and communication, it is already good to maintain the last two nowadays...

Just when the host was asking memorized questions with his mouth and his mind was already flying to nowhere, the director's urgent voice suddenly came from the earphones.

Ask him to interrupt the live broadcast and leave the venue immediately with the guests?