My love game with them that will lead to certain death

[It is because you only regard this simulation as a game that you cannot fully immerse yourself in the role you are supposed to play. You cannot empathize with yourself in this "future", and you simulate it in a way that is efficient but hurts other characters, ignoring the experience that should be felt with your heart. Maybe it works in other "games", but let me remind you.]

[——Although this is a simulation, it is not just a joke.]

[After all, your every move in the simulation will affect reality in some way. ]

"...Affecting reality?"

Ming Hai, who had been handling the situation with ease, became a little restless after hearing this. He had always believed that simulation was a virtual copy that existed completely independently of the real world.

[I cannot tell you in detail what the specific impact will be, but I did not explain this to you before, which led to your misconceptions. I also need to improve on this.]

"Hey, why didn't you tell me about this earlier?!"

It felt like traveling through time to a horror movie and giving Sadako a hard punch—only to discover that underneath her skin, Sadako was just an ordinary worker.

[Well... Regarding the impact caused by this, I will work overtime to help you deal with it. However, you will need to bear about 70% of the cost yourself.]

"Where's the bad review...I want to give a bad review...!"

[And for the next simulation, in order to give you a more realistic feeling, I will no longer let you simulate from a God's perspective... I will use a completely new and different form from the previous two times, so please be mentally prepared. ]

“Hey, stop ignoring customer feedback and adding new rules! You didn’t fast forward when I took the sleeping pills, and it actually hurts when you’re dying!”

[In short, although your role-playing synchronization rate is not up to standard, the overall result...]

The system ignored Ming Hai's dissatisfaction and gave a somewhat unexpected evaluation after a brief pause.

[It is A.]

"Eh?"

[After all, indeed, based on the facts alone, you have achieved the goal of this simulation - although you could have done better if you had devoted your whole heart to it. ]

It's all because you didn't make things clear in advance.

[Also, you made too many "small actions" in this simulation that had nothing to do with the simulation goal. ]

"Oh, is that true?" Novel Skirt.5

If the simulation could see his expression, the boy would definitely be whistling while looking away.

[You didn't interact with the simulated object enough to form a bond, which is also a flaw in this simulation, but the "little actions" that you thought I didn't notice - are actually a plus. 】

“Eh…?”

[After all, the consequence of your selfishness is that there is an unprecedented "second" protagonist in the simulation. Don't you remember what you did? ]

The system did not explain the ending of the second protagonist to him.

After all, only Toru Narumi himself knew what kind of "selfish motives" were mixed into this simulated journey - and this was also one of the few times when he poured his true feelings into it.

Chapter 38 Lucid Dreams

People are made up of contradictions, tears, and scars.

At first, when Yamada Ryo saw such sentences, she would only sigh without emotion, "Wow, what a brilliant piece of writing," but she didn't know when she began to subconsciously think about the meaning behind these sentences.

If I have to say it, it probably started when I found the blue paper that Ming Hai had tucked into his notebook, with the words "Top secret for Yamada alone" written on it.

She saved this message that was left only for her, read it carefully and kept it safely at home. Even after she calmed down, she would still take it out and read it again occasionally.

Rather, it is only after your emotions have stabilized that you can read the words he left for yourself and think more calmly about what kind of mood he was in when he wrote these words.

She has kept this note at home for several years, and she can't remember exactly how long it has been - but every time she reads it again, she feels different.

It was as if the boy was still chattering in my ear and had never left.

"When you saw the message I left you, Yamada, I hope you weren't scared by my appearance. I know people become a little hideous and scary after they die, but I didn't prepare you enough to see me like this. I accept that you're mad at me."

"Even at this point, he still did something silly to liven up the atmosphere. That's exactly what he loves to do."

"But please allow me to be willful. I didn't tell you the whole story. I only planned everything quietly by myself and then informed you to deal with the aftermath. Because I know that if you knew what I was thinking, you would definitely hit me on the head with your bass. I would rather die than be hit like that by you. It would definitely hurt like hell."

"Indeed, if there is no mysterious force stopping me, I will have you hospitalized."

But this reassuring sense of familiarity made her smile.

When everything was settled, reading the letters back would only bring her peace.

"I did something very cruel to the Caterpillars, and even to your entire band. If you can't forgive me for this, I completely understand. But if possible, out of selfishness, I still hope that you won't hate me - that's why I left you this note."

"Haha (emotionless), how do you know that I hate arrogant people who talk to themselves the most?"

"Although this may make you feel a little disgusted, I have had a strong sense of intimacy with you from the beginning. If I am the kind of person who has many defenses against making friends, then you are the type who just blew up my defenses and barged in. Well, maybe we were friends in our previous life?"

"It's still a good relationship if we've stepped on each other's shoes."

However, this was something that she and Toru Narumi of "this world" had never experienced before, so Yamada could only complain about it in her heart.

"It may seem strange to others. We have only met once or twice, but I unilaterally think you are reliable and entrust you with things that I don't trust others to do. Although I don't know how you see me, I really treat you as a friend."

"Ditto."

Although Ming Hai in this world did not experience everything in the past with Yamada, that indescribable sense of intimacy does exist.

Yamada was actually a little happy to know that he thought the same way.

She would be happier if he could say it to her in person.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing.

"Although it may sound a bit cruel to say this, I don't care what anyone except you, even Pochi, thinks of me. Their opinions don't mean anything to me."

"What the hell, we're not that familiar with each other in this world. Are you going to confess your love to me before you die?"

"And I always feel that if I only wrote to the caterpillar without leaving you anything, you might be a little angry. Of course, I just think so on my own."

"I'm not angry."

Well, before I turned over this blue note, I felt a little unhappy when I saw that the densely written letter he wrote to Pochi did not mention me at all.

"If you must say, there is actually no point in me leaving these words for you. But I still wrote them down for some unknown reason, and I don't know why."

"Since this is a rare opportunity, I'll just say what I didn't intend to say before - I've always admired you. You seem to do whatever you want and don't care about anything, but it's cool to see you go all out on things you put your heart into. While I do my own thing and am unique, I also take care of the emotions of those around me in my own way."

"Praise more, I love to hear it."

Every time Yamada Ryo reads this passage, he feels very happy.

But still, it would be better if it was said by the person himself rather than written down at the last minute out of necessity.

"I know we have only known each other for a short time and have only spent a limited amount of time together. It is inevitable that people will not believe what I said... I wish I had enough time to verify it."

"It's a pity that neither you nor I have the time."

"Anyway, what I want to say is - I'm sorry for making you go through so much, Yamada. Also, this may make you feel inexplicably heavy... but being able to meet you in this world is my only comfort."

"What the hell, this is worse than a confession of love."

"Honestly, my life experience this time is terrible. It's like wearing a pair of shoes that don't fit and being forced into a body that doesn't fit. Every minute and every second, I'm doing something I don't want to do. But I'm not trying to shirk responsibility. I just want to say that I don't really have any attachment to this world, except you. You're the only person I trust."

"It may sound a bit cliché to say this, and it may seem inexplicable to you. But just like the line in that movie says - when I get tired of all this, I will think of you. Thinking that you also live in this world, I can endure these shoes that rub my feet and my body that doesn't listen to my commands and continue to walk. Your existence is important for maintaining my sanity and ending this ridiculous game as soon as possible."

"It's probably because I want to be reunited with you sooner that I face death so calmly."

"I hope you will be sad for me, even if it's just a little bit. But don't be too sad, because we will see each other again soon - just think of it as a long dream."

What? This kind of confident tone of “we will definitely meet again”, what do you think of your own life?

Although it might be strange to think so, the whole letter gave Yamada a feeling for some reason - it was not written by the third-rate bassist "Narumi Toru", but by the "Narumi Toru" who worked at the front desk and whom she had known from the beginning.

Although this speculation is unfounded, let's just take it as a guide from our intuition.

Because to be honest, the impression of this person in her mind has become increasingly vague over time.

Love is like pouring Coke, if you pour it too fast it will overflow from the cup and soak the table, and in the end you will find that there is only half a cup.

Maybe she didn't care about this guy as much as she thought.

At the bottom of the letter, there was a small arrow, indicating to Yamada to turn the paper over.

That was the bass score that Ming Hai wrote at the last moment.

This is a parting gift for you - that's probably what he meant.

Honestly, the composition is too immature. The melody is barely catchy, and compared with other amazing songs, there is nothing new about it. It is better to say that this is the upper limit of the creation of a third-rate bassist.

But despite this, Yamada Ryoya still learned this song.

She rearranged the piece, adding many details that made it more enjoyable to listen to, making it a piece that could be performed rather than just a simple song melody.

She would treat it as a special performance for every show, playing it silently when she needed to warm up the audience.

Even after leaving the ending band, she couldn't stay in any band for long, but this song stayed with her for quite a long time.

They only knew each other and spent a few dozen days in this world, and that person died at the most unforgettable age.

This short period of time was far from enough for Ming Hai to become an important person in her heart. Their bond in this world was far from that level.

Logically speaking, this is the case.

But Yamada Ryo found that he could not use reason and logic to measure his true thoughts.

The time she had lost him had exceeded the time she had known him, and sooner or later it would exceed the time she had existed.

He jumped out of time, but she couldn't.

Just like a sneeze, several years passed by in just a moment.

Yamada Ryo became a free-spirited bassist, moving between various bands and performing based on her own preferences. Her wealthy family supported her in doing what she loved, and although she sometimes overdrew a month's living expenses for the instrument she wanted, the income from performances was enough to make ends meet.

Only when she stands on the stage and does what she wants to do can she come back to her senses from this lucid dream and indulge herself wholeheartedly in the feeling of being herself.

After all, only when looking at the audience below the stage would this hazy feeling of unreality fade away a little, making Yamada feel that he had just had a long dream.

"………Dream?"

She stared blankly at the blurred faces of the audience, feeling confused and puzzled.

I never noticed it before...it turns out I never saw their faces clearly.

The moment she realized this, she found that her memories so far had become vague. Not to mention the insignificant passers-by, even the appearance of her former band members was no longer clear.

It seems that such a hazy experience can only be found in dreams.

So, when can we wake up from this dream?

When this thought flashed through her mind, she suddenly remembered that this was not the world she originally lived in.

Was it a lucid dream, or did I just fall into a vortex?

No matter what the truth is, Yamada Ryo just wants to escape from this boring life as soon as possible.

My real family and friends in the band are all waiting for me.

The moment she dropped the bass in her hand, the existence of the people not illuminated by the spotlight became vague, and the audience was engulfed in pitch darkness.

The faint light that shines in the darkness is in the corners of the bustling crowd.

Yamada Ryo recognized the familiar corner.

That was where he was standing when he first met Toru Narumi.

Almost subconsciously, Yamada Ryo interrupted the performance. Her companions on the stage and the audience disappeared without a trace at the same time, and the whole world seemed to have become a one-man show for her.

She walked straight to a corner illuminated by only one spotlight, where the boy once was.

"...?"

As she basked in the cold light of this spotlight, the lights on the stage went out.

Then, the light above his head disappeared.

The darkness all around returned to silence, and the whole person seemed to merge into the nothingness.

I don't know how long it took before my limbs and five senses gradually returned.

"...!"

Yamada Ryo opened his eyes.

I was in a noisy rehearsal room.

"Ah~ It's not a good idea to keep going like this. How about I go and look for someone who can play the guitar tomorrow?"

She was standing blankly in the middle of the room holding the bass in her hand. A girl with a golden ponytail was sitting in front of her, pondering the music score with a sad face while trying to hit the floor tom.