My love game with them that will lead to certain death

Yamada held her forehead weakly. If it weren't for Shao Xienian's last wish, she didn't want to get involved in something that would only hurt each other in the end.

Originally, this guy's departure seemed like a dream. To be honest, if she hadn't stayed up all night for several days, resulting in an irregular schedule and an urgent trip to the mourning site, she probably wouldn't feel it was real now.

"Pochi, you don't have to blame yourself too much. In fact, just as he said, these accidents have nothing to do with you."

In the end, she could only use such pale words to comfort him.

"I originally hesitated whether to tell you the truth... but since this is his last wish, I also think you should have the right to know."

"Uh-huh……"

The pink-haired girl raised her hand and wiped her red eyes with her sleeve. Her pitiful appearance of sniffing her nose was particularly adorable.

Yamada Ryo handed over a pack of tissues without saying a word. Although she never showed it deliberately, she was actually a person who knew how to take care of other people's emotions.

"So what are you going to do next?"

She tilted her head, trying to encourage Pochi to recover from this depressing atmosphere.

"I………"

Goto Ichiri lowered his head, and it was impossible to see her expression through the bangs covering her eyes.

She clutched her pink sweatpants until her knuckles turned white.

"I... will continue to live well as before."

She forced a smile as if to avoid worrying Yamada, but her red eyes glanced away because of guilt.

"Don't worry about me, Liang-senpai..."

"Pochi..."

This guy is definitely showing off.

"I... don't think these are all my fault, so I won't suddenly lose my mind and do something stupid, don't worry about that... After all, I think Ming Haijun doesn't want to see me continue to feel sorry for myself like this."

Pochi wiped away his tears, although there was still redness around his eyes.

"He said he wanted to see me become a shining guitarist, didn't he?"

"Now, I just need to carry one more person's dream."

"Pochi..."

The conversation ended in a way that Yamada Ryo had not expected.

Originally, Yamada thought that Pochi would break down and cry, but he quickly adjusted his mentality and did not cry all the way home. He even forced a smile at Yamada before leaving.

Although Yamada could see that behind that smile was only a reluctance to not make her worry.

It is estimated that Pochi will never be able to get over this incident for the rest of his life.

For some reason, this idea suddenly came into her mind.

But at this point there was no point in saying anything more and she could only watch in silence as Pochi opened the door of his home and disappeared behind it with the sound of the door closing.

After this incident, the atmosphere between the band became somewhat depressed. The reason for this was probably because the death of a certain boy cast a shadow over them.

Although they were unaware of the truth, Nijika and Yuyo were still sad about the boy's death and often lost their focus during rehearsals. Yamada wanted to ask them to cheer up, but something unexpected happened.

Pochi, who usually doesn't like to show his presence too much in the team, would suddenly speak up to make Yudai and Hongxia react and continue their intensive rehearsals.

During the break, Pochi is practicing.

Of course, she did not miss the normal rehearsal time.

Since that experience, she has become more creative in writing lyrics - the lyrics she creates often make Ijichi Hoshika take notice.

When she was in the second year of high school, her already excellent guitar skills improved by leaps and bounds, and she gradually became less shy. She was no longer stage frightened even in large-scale performances, and conquered the audience's ears with her outstanding skills and highly infectious lyrics.

In her senior year of high school, her live videos began to become popular on YouTube, and the hundreds of thousands of views gradually increased to the millions level over time - this was a complete breakthrough for an underground band.

After graduating from high school, she entered her active period. More and more media and internet celebrities and bloggers began to notice this talented guitarist who had both creative talent and performance skills.

Just as she promised, Pochi did not shrink into her hedgehog shell like before, nor did she indulge in depravity. On the contrary, she completely stepped out of her comfort zone in order to realize her dream.

But the greater her changes and the greater her achievements, the more uneasy Yamada Ryo, who had been watching her from the side, felt.

At this rate of growth, it's only a matter of time before Pochi leaves the rest of the band behind.

What's more, she is not as strong as she appears.

Since then, the lyrics she wrote and the atmosphere when she played made Yamada Ryo feel that Pochi had never actually gotten over that experience.

But the irony is that the more the gloomy mood surrounding Pochi is revealed, the stronger her artistic temperament becomes - the better the work she can create, and the more audiences she can attract who are impressed by her temperament.

Artists who are full of emotions can always create masterpieces that are praised by everyone, and people are fascinated by them - these are probably achievements that the original carefree Pochi, who only worried about internal friction over some daily trivial matters, could not achieve.

He who wears the crown must bear its weight. Throughout history, most of those who have created world-famous works had very worrying mental states - perhaps it was precisely because of their precarious psychological defenses that their talents beyond imagination were able to be displayed.

In the end, only a very few people, like Yamada, care about the mental state of these creators.

Finally, Pochi, who was only one step away from becoming famous, was interviewed by a well-established TV station during her college years—the same TV station that had interviewed the guitarist who had had a huge influence on her when she was young.

“It’s hard to imagine that this talented musician is only in his early twenties, and that he can write many lyrics that deeply explore life, death and existentialism at such a vibrant age. Can you tell me where your creative inspiration comes from?”

On the TV screen, dazzling flashes kept flashing. The pink-haired girl in the center of the camera had changed her previous shyness in avoiding public media and faced the overwhelming interview microphones with a normal attitude.

"It comes from an old friend of mine... a very important person. Most of the songs are actually written around him. After all... he monopolized a possibility in my life."

On the other side of the TV screen, Yamada Ryo remained silent - she knew that Goto Ichiri did not say the follow-up to this sentence.

When I talk about love, I think of him. When I talk about death, I still think of him.

Today, Yamada Ryo finally understood why Ming Hai asked her to pass on the letter that was enough to destroy Pochi's entire character.

That was the "gift" he gave her, a "gift" that would make her successful but destined her to suffer.

He used his own death to pave the way for Pochi to rise, and at the same time, in order to make her reach the door of her dreams, he gave her a shot of adrenaline with this excessive approach.

It was a double-edged sword entangled by "pain" and "inspiration", which destroyed her and gave her new life.

"...Do you think you are some kind of God who can decide the fate of others?"

Yamada Ryo sneered and shook his head, but he was not mocking the self-righteous guy, but himself who had been watching from the beginning to the end but was powerless to change it all.

Because she knew that she couldn't hate that person from the bottom of her heart.

If you want to say why...

She turned off the TV and returned to her practice room, took her bass out of its box and plugged it in, then dug out the sheet music she would use for today's performance from the cluttered table.

Placed in the cleanest and most spacious place on the table is a photo frame - but there is no picture of the kind in it.

Instead, it was a letter that was carefully framed by Yamada Ryo.

This was a secret she had never told anyone—not even Hong Xia knew it.

Chapter 37 Sweet Dreams

[It is really difficult for me to evaluate your choice this time, but before I ask some questions, please allow me to explain the outcome of this simulation to you. ]

[Under your interference and your almost self-destructive forcing, Goto Ichiri has indeed grown up at an astonishing speed - although behind this she is carrying hardships and internal mental torture that ordinary people can hardly imagine. ]

[At the same time, these emotions that pull her also become the nourishment for her creative talent. Like many painful but talented creators, her artistic personality attracts every sensitive and delicate listener. ]

[As time goes by, Goto Ichiri gradually becomes a popular creative talent, whether it is guitar solo, writing lyrics, or even singing. 】

[Many record companies have offered her olive branches, but at the same time, she is drifting away from her former partners.]

[After your death, there was an indescribable gap between the two band members. They continued to perform together during high school, but after entering college, they rarely saw each other, and finally disbanded the band when graduation season came.]

【Kita Ikuyo returned to her daily life and found a job with less work, and from then on, she only played guitar and singing as her hobbies. Ijichi Kouka took over her sister's job and continued to look for a partner to form a band with her. Yamada Ryo worked as a bassist in various bands, but always quit after the novelty wore off.】

[Among them, only Goto Ichiri, who was originally the least promising, has achieved unimaginable success - her creative talent has made her a treasure that all major singers and bands are vying for. Although she has not yet reached the level of a world superstar, she is already the leading creative genius guitar girl in Japan.]

[Although your methods are difficult to evaluate, you still achieved Goto Ichiri's "dream" anyway - although she rarely showed a genuine smile on her face since then. ]

[She lived like this for more than a dozen years. Goto Ichiri became the shining person she had hoped for, and even had the fame and wealth to match. Her interviews and deeds were recorded in various media like other rock stars, and people would still dig them out from the corners of time and savor them after decades.]

[But like those sensitive geniuses who are melancholy and internally consumed, she is miserable from the overwhelming attention from the outside world and the constant worries.]

[As her life was about to come to an end, the last interview of her life was leaked. 】

"Everyone is living a colorful or splendid life, but I am the only one trapped in the cocoon, melting into the fuzzy gray blocks. I am just a caterpillar, and I will never break out of the cocoon and become a butterfly."

[Ending: To you who are in love and hate. You have successfully fulfilled Goto Ichiri's wish, and she will remember you in her heart for the rest of her life - although most of it was earned by hurting her. But the antonym of love is not hate, but indifference. From this point of view, you who died have become immortal in her heart. ]

[Achievements achieved: "Live like guns, die like nirvana", "Bassist jokes tenth-level scholar", "Childhood sweethearts", "This bassist is not too cold", etc., a total of ten achievements. 】

[Story completion: A, impact: S+. But I need to remind you...]

The system's paused voice brought the boy, whose five senses were in darkness, back to his senses.

[Your synchronization rate in this simulation is only C. Therefore, the overall evaluation is not ideal - and this is one of the issues I want to discuss with you. ]

“Eh… I expected the results of this simulation to be bad, but I didn’t expect it to be this low.”

[After all, the basic setting I gave you included the character trait of "saying one thing and thinking another". Although objectively speaking, you did do many things that met this character requirement, the image you ultimately presented was not what the "Toru Narumi" of this world should look like.]

"Eh... I care about someone but I always hurt her. Doesn't this fit in with the setting of 'not being able to express my feelings openly'?"

[You are trying to take advantage of the word. ]

"The rules of the game you gave are quite flexible. As long as I can explain it, it won't count as me breaking the rules, right?"

[…Although I have never asked for your opinion, I still want to know one thing. ]

The system was unusually silent for a while. It turned out that it also had things that confused it.

[What is your opinion on this simulation? ]

"Just like the first impression I got when we first met - it's an annoying game that I can't refuse but the rewards are extremely tempting."

Ming Hai gave this answer almost without thinking.

"I have guessed some of your confusion. You just think that I failed to play a good role and that I took the initiative in an extreme way to change the life trajectories of many people."

[You knew this and still...? ]

"Because, at the end of the day, a simulation is just a simulation, and it's just a single-player game that only I am immersed in."

If Ming Hai, who was in a conscious state, could make any movements, the system would definitely see him shrug his shoulders.

"I know there are players who are kind to all NPCs in the game and treat them as real people. I can be that kind of player, but if the story I want requires me to do something excessive to NPCs... In order to achieve the ending I'm curious about, I will do it even if it goes against my morals and conscience in real life."

I believe that some people must have done something similar. Because they are curious about the ending, they have played all the lines that should and should not be played.

After all, NPCs are just a bunch of data, not to mention that they will be deleted after the ending is reached and will never be seen again.

[So, you knew that your letter would cause a great blow to Goto Ichiri, but you still chose to have Yamada Ryo pass it to her? ]

"Yes, because there are only two goals to be achieved in this game - to fulfill the wishes of Goto Ichiri, the central character of this simulation. And to make her unforgettable about me, right?"

Ming Hai certainly knew that his behavior was excessive, but after all, it was just a game - he just chose the most efficient way to play.

"First, I died when she hated me the most, and then I used that letter to arouse Pochi's guilt towards me. At the same time, I let this letter become her spiritual support to prevent her from collapsing, supporting her to realize her dream step by step. Pochi will remember me for the rest of her life because of this."

Using his own death to stimulate Goto Ichiri's growth can also make her remember him for the rest of her life. Although the method was a bit cruel and had a great impact on Goto's personality, it also achieved two goals at one stroke.

[But have you ever considered whether these self-proclaimed encouragements and the public attention you forced upon her by your own death are really what Goto Ichiri wanted? ]

"I know it's not, but that's not my primary concern."

The only thing he cared about was how to make the two things "Goto Ichiri became famous" and "he would never forget me" objectively true.

As for what means to achieve this goal, Ming Hai is not picky.

"It doesn't matter what the means are, as long as they work and achieve the desired results in the end, it's fine. After all, everything will be over once the simulation is complete."

If Goto was a real person, he would definitely not do such an extreme thing to her. But if he was facing an NPC made of virtual data, he would not need a sense of morality to restrain his steps.

"If you're saying that my role-playing is not successful... I can't deny that. It's hard for me to find the right balance between saying one thing and thinking another... I'll learn from someone who doesn't say one thing and think another one someday, and then I'll be able to improve when I'm randomly selected to play a similar role in the future."

Everything he had experienced so far was just a deleted game, and in the final analysis, he was the only one who would be affected.

Because of this, Ming Hai Toru didn't quite understand where the system was struggling.

[You may not realize it yourself...your behavior is completely planned according to rational logic, not emotional logic. ]

[I understand that your mental state - and sometimes even your moral code - is derived from the models and requirements given by others. When the requirements become unclear, you will prioritize achieving your goals...]

"Why are you analyzing my personality without my permission? I hate this."

【Because that's the problem with your synchronization rate being only c. 】