Hikigaya Hachiman is still in the dark

"I have made so much effort, why haven't I got what I want? I can make everyone around me recognize me, but why is it that the person I want to recognize the most doesn't recognize me? Why hasn't the distance between her and me changed at all, and is still the same as before? Could it be that all my efforts are in vain?

I was unwilling to accept this, as this was all I was thinking about at the time.

There must be something wrong with this world and this result! Such thoughts echoed in my mind.

But fortunately, I have good self-control. I kept deceiving myself, saying that it didn't matter. It was only because you are a teacher and just because of such a simple reason that Tsurumi-san would change. I kept telling myself this.

But soon, I realized that I was wrong. The reason why the Tsurumi class reunion became like this was not because of your identity, but simply because of you.

But is there anything special about you, Mr. Hikigaya? No matter how hard I look, I can't find it myself.

Then one day, Tsurumi-san suddenly said that he wanted to go back with me. At first, I was very happy, but when I left the school gate, I saw you, Mr. Hikigaya. I quickly understood why Tsurumi-san wanted to go back with me. In the end, I still failed.

Not long ago, Teacher Tian Xia called me to ask about my recent situation. At that time, I still had some illusions, thinking that Tsurumi-san might have returned to his own junior high school because he cared about me, but it turned out that Tsurumi-san had no impression of me at all, not at all... If that's the case, then what was the point of my previous efforts? Why did I become what I am now? Obviously I have always been like this, I just wanted Tsurumi-san to look at me with a slightly different look in his eyes, what did I do wrong? "

Niwa yelled hysterically.

What are you doing wrong?

What a ridiculous question! It's like a person who is destined to fail shouting to the sky, asking why he failed.

After talking about your past experiences, what do you want to express? Do you want to get my sympathy? Or do you want to normalize all your behaviors?

What a ridiculous statement!

Your story is like an ignorant and willful child throwing a tantrum. Do you think that people around you treat you differently and always look down on you? Are you a patient who escaped from a mental hospital? Have you really tried your best to interact with others? The person who cares the most is actually just you, right? In the end, why would others care about you like that? You take yourself too seriously, don't you? You still have the nerve to say that you changed and worked hard in order to study in the United States, but in the end, you are just satisfying yourself.

From the beginning to the end, Liu Mei didn't say anything. Everything you did was just your own imagination. In fact, it was just your wishful thinking! It was just your self-willedness as a little kid.

This is the reality. You still ask me what I did wrong? This person is really a scumbag.

I was so angry that I lost all my rationality. What was this? Was it the villain who complained first? Or was it the latest prank? When did the villain's whitewashing become just talking to himself? It was really disgusting.

Chapter 201 Hikigaya Hachiman is angry

"What did you do wrong?" I whispered. The anger in my voice showed that I had reached my breaking point. I listened to you for so long, but you were the only one talking to yourself? Until the end, you still didn't understand anything and needed me to explain it to you?

Stop kidding, why should the world revolve around you? When you feel inferior, the world will feel inferior with you, and when you are excellent, will the world also be excellent with you? You yourself have never seriously contacted the world, never let go of your heart, and you still lock yourself tightly in a place where you can't see other people and keep silent. There should be a limit to such self-pity and self-love!

"Don't you know what you have done? It's just a child's prank!"

"What did you say!"

Hearing my voice, Niwa looked up suddenly. I didn't know when his eyes were filled with unshed tears. The bloodshot whites of his eyes became even more terrifying, and his pupils were dilated as if they had no focus. His hair, which had been neatly combed, was now messy in front of his forehead, not at all neat as before.

"I didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted her to look at me in a special way."

Niwa spoke loudly without caring about his image. His standard social smile had long disappeared, and all that remained was a hideous face.

"I just want this, why not?"

"No, you should limit your own talking to me! You have been playing a game by yourself from the beginning to the end, so don't drag Liu Mei into it!"

"I didn't do anything wrong! I just wanted to..."

"So, just shut up!" I slammed the table angrily, and the tea sets on the table collided with each other due to the vibration, making a "clang" sound.

"How long are you going to keep talking to yourself? When has Liumei ever talked to you? How much do you know about Liumei? Do you know what Liumei likes? Do you know what kind of life Liumei hopes for? Do you know what she hates? What do you know about her? Tell me?"

My voice was very loud, as if I wanted to vent all my dissatisfaction in these words. The huge noise here had attracted the attention of other people in the cafe. The waitress had quietly walked near us, but perhaps she was frightened by our momentum. She just stood there trembling, not daring to come over.

The situation around me has become very bad, people have started whispering, but for me, I can't care about it now.

"Speak up! Speak loudly! Tell me what you know about studying in the United States!"

Niwa didn't answer me, so I asked again loudly.

"No, it's not like that..." Niwa, who was questioned by me, completely lost the momentum he had just had. He sat on his chair like a deflated ball, his body bent like a weathered old man.

"You don't know anything, but you just blindly decide for others according to what you think. In the end, you said you knew nothing? And you still talk about just wanting something. It's ridiculous. How can you say that your wishes are simple when you impose your will on others?"

Niwa covered his ears with his hands in pain, and because his lips were clenched so tightly with his teeth, some blood could even be seen flowing out.

"Come on, what do you know? Tell me."

"I, I, I just want to..."

"Is it like this again? Is that what you want again? In the end, you didn't put Liumei in a special place at all. Everything you have is just the story of a willful child. You brought nothing to Liumei. All you brought to her was pain."

"Pain? Impossible." The originally weak Niwa was stimulated by these words and stood up with great vigor, staring at me with wide eyes.

"This is absolutely impossible!"

"That's impossible." I sneered. "Then tell me, what happened to Liumei's missing scarf and gloves? Tell me why Liumei hasn't made any friends yet? Tell me, when you were around her, did you feel that she was excluded by others?"

After hearing this, Niwa probably couldn't find any way to refute it, and he fell into his chair as if all the strength in his body had been drained away.

That’s enough. I don’t want to say anything more to Niwa.

I took out my wallet, took out some money and gave it to the waiter without counting it.

"The excess can be considered as compensation."

After saying this, I walked away without paying any attention to Niwa.

"So, Hikigaya, you're back just like that?"

I sat upright on the sofa in the living room. In front of me, Yukinoshita kept rubbing her temples with her hands. She looked like a father who was worried about his daughter getting married.

Next to Yukinoshita is Yuigahama. By the way, Yuigahama is wearing a stewardess's uniform today. Because a certain part of her body is too prominent, every movement she makes is naturally seductive. It is precisely because of this that I basically dare not look at Yuigahama.

What a cruel trial! I feel like Gaia has been caring more and more about me recently...

As for me, why did Hikigaya Hachiman sit on the sofa in the apology posture of Seiza? We have to go back a few minutes to find out the answer.

I returned to my apartment angrily and realized that something was wrong with me. When Yukinoshita and Yuigahama asked me why I was angry, I accidentally told them the whole conversation between me and Niwa.

Then, Yukinoshita said to me softly, "Sit upright," with a charming smile. I was originally mighty and unyielding, but you know that I, Hikigaya Hachiman, am a very gentleman, so in the end I sat upright on the sofa.

All this is my gentleman soul, and sure enough, I am a terrible person!

"I don't want to say it though." Yukinoshita pointed her finger at me and said, "Are you really an idiot?"

"Xiaoqi does behave like this sometimes, hehe..." Yuigahama smiled to smooth things over.

This doesn't seem like you're trying to smooth things over at all. Instead, it seems like you're helping Yukinoshita to bully me!

"No matter what, you can't say that in that situation, right? Now that you know the reason, if you have a good talk with Niwa and explain Tsurumi-san's situation, he should have some self-awareness, and we'll have less trouble. Didn't your actions just now mean that things have completely fallen out? What are you going to do next?" Yukinoshita sighed.

What Yukinoshita said was correct. In fact, once we know the reason, we can easily take advantage of the situation and perfectly solve the problem of studying in the United States. We just need to make Niwa consciously leave the United States, and this incident can be resolved in the simplest and most effective way.

However, sometimes, the right choice is not necessarily what we want. Sometimes we know that something is wrong but we can’t help but make it.

"I know about this kind of thing." After saying it softly, I looked at Yukinoshita stubbornly and explained my attitude. I didn't say anything more because I believed that Yukinoshita would understand what I meant.

With a deep sigh, Yukinoshita shook her head helplessly.

"Well, Yukino, sometimes there's nothing we can do about it, and what Xiaoqi said is right." Seeing Yukinoshita sighing, Yuigahama on the side hurriedly bowed and spoke.

"That's right. What Hikigaya said to Niwa is absolutely correct, but..." Yukinoshita glanced at me and said, "No matter how you look at it, that statement is a bit too extreme."

"That's right." Yuigahama didn't speak for me anymore, but turned to look at me.

"I admit that this is not wrong, but under the circumstances at that time, I couldn't control myself well."

"It would be best if you could realize it." Yukinoshita glared at me fiercely.

"What are you going to do next? After you said that, I think things are getting really troublesome."

That's right, the best opportunity has been missed, and I don't know how long it will take for such an opportunity to come again.

"I don't know what to do yet. Anyway, I'll just take it one step at a time." I pouted.

“That’s a pretty relaxed attitude.”

"Just trust Xiaoqi here, Yukino." Yuigahama reached out and grabbed Yukinoshita's hand. She probably noticed the strangeness in Yukinoshita's tone.

"There is no other way!" Yukinoshita shook her head.

"Hikigaya, don't use the same method as before. Be careful this time."

Yukinoshita looked at me seriously and spoke as if she was worried about something.

"Don't worry, I won't do that this time..."

I nodded solemnly and made a promise to Yukinoshita and the others.

Chapter 202: The unexpected development of events is beyond what Hikigaya Hachiman expected

We must fulfill our promises. We have to admit that this is a necessary rule for survival in this society.

To put it simply, a man without faith cannot stand. This seems to be an ancient Chinese proverb. Our ancestors actually made the truth clear a long time ago.

So, since I agreed to study in the United States, it is natural that I have to handle this matter perfectly.

From an emotional point of view, I must help those who study in the United States; from a social perspective, I must fight against "school bullying". My reasons are very sufficient, and I am also standing on the moral high ground. No matter what, I am on the right side.

But why do I feel so uncomfortable now? It's really strange. Maybe it's the familiar atmosphere that reminds me of my time at Sobu High School.

I am currently in the student union's office. Sobu High School's student union is still as busy as before, but the atmosphere in the entire activity room is a little weird.

The strange thing is of course on the other side, yes, that is the side of Haibin High School, our partner in the joint activity.

Specifically speaking, the origin of the riot is actually very simple. Niwa Aoi, the president of the student council of Seaside High School, who serves as the brain and banner of the team, was not present today.

Then, the whole team seemed to have lost their souls. The only normal ones were Rumi, followed by Orikusa. The completely abnormal ones were the other two student council members of Haibin High School.

I don't remember their names, so let's just call them Student Union Member A and Student Union Member B for now.

These two people were completely absent-minded today because Niwa was not present. Although they were working, their eyes were constantly staring at the door of the club room.

From their absent-minded state, one can guess how terrible their current work status and progress are.

Origina didn't act that exaggerated, but she would still look at the door of the student union office worriedly every once in a while.

This situation was really beyond my expectations. I had imagined many things that Niwa would do, but I had never imagined that Niwa would just die.

The reason for this situation, if I'm not mistaken, is probably because of what I said to Niwa yesterday.

Rather than a conversation, it was more like a one-sided reprimand from Niwa on my part... and the result was what we have now, which is the worst possible situation no matter how you look at it.

Although this is the situation now, I believe that if time could go back, I would still say those words, even if I knew the result would be like this.

Some things cannot be compromised just because you know the result. But what I didn't expect was that Niwa actually chose the worst way, which was to escape. To be honest, this was completely beyond my expectation. I thought Niwa would either apologize directly to Liumei or stick to his own purpose and continue to fight with me.

Either of the two scenarios I can imagine is much better than the current situation.

If you avoid it, the problem itself will leave the solver. For example, it is like an exam with insufficient time. Even if the questions are all about how much one plus one equals, you still cannot get full marks due to time constraints.

Before, I told Yukinoshita the strategy I would come up with for the future, but if things turn out like this, there's really nothing I can do.

The worst way is, do I have to go to Seaside High School to meet Niwa? What a joke, this is completely out of scope. What is the difficulty of Gaia's test for me?

Because I was constantly concerned about it, I would look at the door of the Student Union Office from time to time.

"I say, can you concentrate on your work?"

The two people from Seaside High School were nervous, so they worked carelessly, and as a result, the props fell to the ground and made noise. Motochu Gui raised her head and looked at the two people from Seaside High School.

"Whatever, he is also your student council president. Don't you have this level of trust? Or are you kids who can't do anything without the president's company?"

Wow! It was so scary. The two people from Seaside High School were scared. Because they didn't dare to resist, they quickly lowered their heads and continued their work.

"I will work hard from now on, and please pay more attention to your work over there." Although the two girls retreated, Origina stood up and said to Motochū Kei.

It's the same as at the beginning. At that time, Origina was the only one who stood up to refute Motochū Kei, but the result is here, and the situation remains unchanged now.

"Hmph!" Ben Chugui snorted coldly, lowered his head and ignored him.

The air had dropped below freezing point... The members of Sobu High School's student council were also clearly aware of the commotion, but the two men didn't say a word. As for Hua Nian, he had not arrived at the scene yet due to the stage play.

Their president was indeed the one who made the mistake, but it was obvious that Ben Chugui's firepower had been exceeding the critical point recently. If he went up to dissuade him at this time, he would probably only bring trouble to himself.

"Huh!" I let out a long sigh. I knew why Ben Chugui became like this. It was probably because of the thing she kept from me. Because of this, Ben Chugui and I had a big fight. Since then, Ben Chugui has been in such a state of anger.

As a result, although he is called the student council president, aren’t the people on both sides just little brats who never grow up?

"Knock, knock." There was a knock on the door. The sound was so soft that it made people feel like it was a strange sound made by the wind.

Hearing the knock on the door, the accountant of the Sobu High School Student Union quickly got up and opened the door. The three people from Haibin High School also looked at the door of the club room with expectation.

"Dan, President Niwa?" The student union accountant asked uncertainly. Hearing the words that I had always cared about, I turned my head sharply and looked at the person at the door.

I soon understood why our school's accountant made a puzzled sound, because even I was not sure whether the person there was Niwa.