Hikigaya Hachiman is still in the dark

"Thank you, Mr. Hikigaya!" After confirming that the painting was well preserved, Tamasaka thanked me again.

"You're welcome. I'll keep it safe."

"Ah."

After agreeing to this, Tamasaka hugged the drawing board, holding it tightly as if it were her most precious thing.

This is fine. For Tamasaka, this might be everything she has now.

"By the way, teacher, let's talk about the trademark design."

Now, I did ask Tamasaka to design a flower shop logo for Yuigahama, but I was a bit busy afterwards and didn't have time to ask again. However, since Yukinoshita didn't contact me, it means that the matter has been perfectly resolved.

"I sent it to Yuigahama-san a few days ago, and she said it was okay, but is that really okay?"

"Since she didn't say anything, there must be no problem. You don't have to worry too much."

"That would be the best. Besides, didn't I ask Mr. Hikigaya before to go to the park with me when he's free?" Oh no, I completely forgot. When I thought about it carefully, I not only agreed to Tamasaka, I seemed to have also agreed to go to the park with Uminohoshi and Yuigahama Yukinoshita.

Completely forgot about it!

"Don't worry about this, Mr. Hikigaya. I've already found my inspiration, and if the logo is well designed, there's no need to meet with Yuigahama and Yukinoshita-nee. After that, I want to quietly materialize my inspiration, so can we cancel the agreement?"

"Of course no problem."

I nodded. If that was the case, Yuigahama would probably understand. Besides, she was busy preparing for the opening of the business, so it would not be practical to ask her to come out. Umi no Hoshi would probably agree with Tamasaka, so there would be no problem.

"Ah."

After Tamasaka responded to me, we started chatting aimlessly. When the rain stopped, it was already late, and after telling Tamasaka to go back early, I also prepared to go home.

As a result, I still didn’t get any valuable information today. This is really troublesome. The performance day of the joint event is coming soon. If we continue like this, won’t we be completely late?

This is a really troublesome situation.

"Is that Mr. Hikigaya?"

The unexpected sound made me freeze in place. I turned around with an uneasy expression and faced the owner of the sound.

"Niwa, what's going on?"

I spoke with difficulty. What was this feeling of being caught stealing and then being ashamed? Indeed, I was secretly investigating Niwa's past, and then the real owner suddenly greeted me! It was terrible, just like the author who delayed the update, and then the editor suddenly appeared next to you. Even in the game, it doesn't work like this!

Niwa showed a very strange smile. In his left hand was a neatly arranged black umbrella. Because it was cold, he put on a windbreaker that looked very warm.

It's obviously standard equipment for perverts, but why does it look so good on Niwa? Is this really the privilege of handsome guys?

"I'm not wrong."

Niwa spoke softly.

"Is that so? Since the rain has stopped, you should go back early and don't let your parents worry." After saying this, I turned around and prepared to leave.

"Why don't we talk about it properly? Something that Mr. Hikigaya is interested in."

The unexpected words made me turn around. Niwa still had that signature smile on his face, but there was something in it that I couldn't fathom.

I shuddered unconsciously. "You didn't come to me just to ask me to drink coffee, right?"

Niwa and I sat opposite each other at a table in a cafe with ordinary specifications but very stylish appearance. The floor of the cafe was embroidered with fashionable patterns, and the tables and chairs were also carved to make people feel the good intentions of the makers. The cafe was separated by wooden walls with many empty grids on them, on which red wine and some books with very charming packaging were placed.

"What's wrong, Hikigaya-sensei? You seem a little agitated."

I don't think anyone would remain indifferent if that person came to them while they were investigating someone else.

Seeing that I didn't answer, Niwa didn't say anything more. He took a sip of coffee and just looked at me silently.

I'm wondering what's wrong with your style of being a winner in life? Why do I feel like your character and mine have been reversed? Is your setting that resembles Ye Shan really good?

No, I'm Hikigaya Hachiman, I won't let Niwa control the rhythm between us!

Thinking of this, I didn't say anything more and just drank my coffee quietly.

Niwa didn't say anything either, but just sat there quietly drinking coffee like me.

After a long time, Niwa finally seemed to be unable to hold back and his body began to twist unnaturally.

He is still young after all. When I tried to get information from him before, although Niwa was very sharp, I still caught him in the rhythm.

I admit that Niwa is an excellent student. Not only does he have leadership skills, he also has extraordinary observation skills. Not only that, he also has his own way of communicating with people.

If Niwa is given enough time, he should become a very qualified figure similar to a diplomat, I have to admit this. Just like Hai Zhixing has a talent for literature and Huanian has a talent for public speaking, Niwa also has some talent for being a leader.

However, this is just talent! Obviously, he lacks time to hone his skills. No matter how talented a person is, he cannot reach the same level as me without going through some things.

It is obvious that Niwa is still too young and out of control. In this case, the negotiations will be under my control.

Huh, the feeling of being in control of everything is so transcendent. As expected, I am God!

"Mr. Hikigaya, you are secretly investigating me, right?"

I felt like my soul was hit by an arrow, and it hit me directly in the heart. Don’t you know that such a straight shot is a foul?

How should I explain this? Should I just brush it off? Or should I just admit it boldly and say that I have no ill intentions and just want to stay in the US?

No way! No matter what, Niwa won't believe me. Is it that simple? Should I surrender?

"Teacher Hikigaya, you don't have to think too much. I know you're not investigating me for your own sake. You're investigating me for your stay in the United States, right?"

When I heard the word "Liumei", I gradually calmed down, and my eyes turned cold when I looked at Niwa. Because of Niwa's affairs, Liumei suffered a lot, and he still called Liumei's name so intimately, which made me very unhappy.

"Studying in the United States!" I deliberately dragged out my voice.

Niwa was stunned for a moment, probably not understanding what I meant. Then, as if he remembered something, he shook his head helplessly.

"That's right. It's about Tsurumi-san."

Even though Niwa changed his words, I still looked at him with increasingly cold eyes.

"That's right."

Now that I know, there is nothing I can do. Let me speak frankly. I am completely in the right anyway, which means I have no reason to be afraid.

"Is that so? Not long ago, Tian Xia teacher suddenly came to me and asked about my recent situation. After reporting, Tian Xia teacher said that Hikigaya teacher was right."

Is it Teacher Tian Xia? But I can understand that. I didn't ask Teacher Tian Xia to keep this a secret. If I asked Teacher Tian Xia to keep it a secret, she would be even more worried and might even contact Niwa to ask about us. Teacher Tian Xia might not believe what she heard about the change of her former student and just wanted to call to confirm. There is nothing to say about such a simple reason.

"That's right. I did go to your school to learn some things about you."

"So, you know everything?"

"That's right." I didn't hide it. In fact, what I knew was not something core, and it didn't fall into the category of involving other people's privacy.

"Is that so? Ru... Tsurumi-san went with you, right?"

"That's right."

"Did Tsurumi-san say anything?" Niwa's voice was filled with anticipation, and it was unclear what he was thinking. Was this guy expecting Rumi to do something?

"Liumei didn't say anything. It's better to say that she has no impression of you at all. Even after hearing it from Teacher Tian Xia, I asked her again, and she still had no impression of you."

Hearing my voice, Niwa leaned back in his chair in disappointment.

"How could this happen? But there's nothing wrong with this. I've always been like this. Isn't this what I've always understood? I've known this for a long time..."

Niwa spoke as if possessed, he lowered his head and said something I didn't understand.

"What do you mean?" I looked at Niwa with a frown.

After hearing what I said, Niwa raised his head suddenly. I don't know when, his eyes were already full of bloodshot, and his teeth were tightly biting his lips.

"Mr. Hikigaya, do you want to hear a story from me?"

Chapter 200 Niwa Aoi tells his past

"Mr. Hikigaya, do you want to hear a story from me?"

Niwa looked at me seriously. His eyes were much more serious than usual. At the same time, there was a look in his eyes that was not usually there, like a pleading look.

"Go ahead." Without much response, I responded lightly.

"Really? Thank you." Niwa looked at me gratefully, but this look made me feel a little uncomfortable.

Ignoring my discomfort, Niwa started talking to himself.

“When I was in junior high school, I was completely different from now. To put it in a metaphor, I was like two extreme people.

If you asked Teacher Tian Xia, you probably knew it, right? At that time, I was fat, inferior, and incompetent. In short, all kinds of derogatory words could be used to describe me.

At that time, I was afraid to interact with others. I was really afraid, not that I didn't know how to interact with others. In my opinion, there was something disgusting in the way everyone around me looked at me. At that time, I already knew that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't really walk with them. So, I gradually became afraid, afraid to interact with others, I was afraid to find that there was something else in the way others looked at me. Some people were very enthusiastic to contact me, but I still saw something else in their eyes.

I don't know if they have bad intentions, but when they look at me, there is always something in their eyes that I have always hated, and then I feel scared. I feel that I am a person from another world to this world. When I walk, although I walk the same road as others, the world we live in is different.

I am not part of this world, I have always thought so in my heart." Niwa said with a dim look in his eyes and slowly exhaled.

"At least, in the eyes of others, I am not from the same world as them. Gradually, I began to be afraid of interacting with others, because after seeing that kind of look, I would unconsciously feel fear, and constantly remind myself in my heart that I am different from them, and I am just a person with no ability and very poor!

Teacher Tian Xia is my homeroom teacher. She cares about my problems very much. She often asks me out to talk, asks me many questions about study and life, and encourages me. But to me, that is just the special concern of someone older than me. I still do not belong to this world.

I kept thinking like this for a long time, until that day when I met Tsurumi-san, and then I really changed my mind. I realized that I am actually a part of this world, and I can be the same as others. "

"It was during the school's sports festival when the school held a marathon. At the beginning, as a fat person, I quickly wanted to give up. After all, it was just an ordinary test, and I would definitely not be the one who attracted attention in the end.

At this time, I met Tsurumi-san. At that time, Tsurumi-san was only responsible for receiving students who were exhausted. When she saw me, there was no change in her eyes.

"must work hard."

This was the only thing she said to me, and then she left my seat and went back to her work.

That look was different from others. There was nothing in her eyes that I had always disliked.

That look was no different from the way she looked at others. In her eyes, I was the same as everyone else, and there was no difference to her.

For the first time, I felt something called equality.

That day, I completed the entire marathon for the first time. Even though the sweat flowed into my eyes and made me feel burning pain, I didn't care and persisted. When I reached the finish line, my clothes were soaked with sweat. Because of the sweat, my hair was tightly stuck together. I kept panting, as if I wanted to exhale all the fatigue that had just accumulated.

At first, I didn't know why I persisted, but when I looked around and felt disappointed when I didn't see Tsurumi-san, I understood why I persisted.

I just want Tsurumi-san to look at me again. I just want there to be something more in the way Tsurumi-san looks at me.

I was very scared. I was afraid that Tsurumi-san would no longer look at me; but at the same time, I had some other thoughts.

I wish the way Tsurumi-san looks at me was different from the way others look at me.

Such thoughts were spreading wildly in my mind. I was touched that Tsurumi-san treated me the same as others, but at the same time, I expected Tsurumi-san to look at me differently from others. This was a very selfish thought, wasn't it?

After that, I made a special effort to get to know Tsurumi. Like me, Tsurumi has basically been alone in school. But Tsurumi is different from me. Tsurumi enjoys such a life. She is not lonely because of loneliness, but accepts her situation calmly. She is not unwilling, nor does she have inferiority complex.

It seemed as if this was her normal life situation.

I think this must be because Tsurumi-san is too outstanding, and the gap between her and others is just like the gap between others and me.

The reason why Tsurumi-san has such a look is probably because in her eyes, others can't be compared with herself at all. So, if I want Tsurumi-san to look at me more, and if I want there to be something else in that look, I must, must become even better.

Then, I showed an energy that I had never believed possible before. I worked out, studied hard, tried to get along with people around me, and improved my interpersonal skills.

If you haven't experienced it yourself, you wouldn't understand, Mr. Hikigaya, right? The idea of ​​changing for others.

I encountered a lot of troubles in the process of change, but every time I encountered difficulties, I would think of the day when I dragged my tired body through the streets, leaving a trail of sweat and struggle behind me. Then, Tsurumi-san’s calm eyes, without a trace of other things, would emerge in my mind.

Every time I think of this, I will persevere, no matter how hard it is, I will persevere.

Later, I finally succeeded.

I succeeded in doing what I couldn't do before. I succeeded in changing myself into a completely different person. If it were me now, I would definitely be able to change the way Tsurumi-san looks at me.

I knew which high school Tsurumi-san had applied to, so I rejected invitations from other schools and came to the same class as Tsurumi-san. I originally thought that this time, Tsurumi-san would look at me differently.

But I was wrong. This time, Tsurumi-san's eyes looked at me the same way, and even had a disgust that he hadn't had before."

…………

“I didn’t know what I had done wrong, so I just tried my best to show myself and demonstrate my excellence.

I semi-forced Tsurumi to join the student union. I had no purpose, but just wanted Tsurumi to see my excellence, understand me, and truly know me.

It's so ridiculous. I am obviously no longer the same person I used to be, but when I really face Tsurumi-san, I realize that I haven't changed at all. I just want her to look at me differently from others.

I just, just want to do this, but why? Why can't I do it?

Later, the school held a joint event, and when Tsurumi-san saw you, Mr. Hikigaya, I noticed for the first time a wave of hesitation in her eyes. That was something I had always hoped for but had never gotten.

What I have always wanted to see in Tsurumi-san's eyes is something like this, something called hesitation, something that is different from one's own eyes when looking at others.

But why isn’t this object me?”