Hikigaya Hachiman is still in the dark

That's right, I have never asked for anything that does not belong to me, whether it is other people's understanding, other people's recognition, or other people's kindness.

Maybe I have forced it, or worked hard for it, but I have never asked for it. If I work hard for it but cannot get it, I can let it go quickly.

It's very contradictory, but I can convince myself. People are like this, and many things are contradictory.

"Hikigaya, you seem to have thought of something very good." I don't know when, Mr. Hiratsuka walked to my bed, leaned beside me handsomely, and said to me with his head down.

"No, I'm not particularly happy either."

“It’s so awkward!”

As if he had anticipated my answer, Mr. Hiratsuka shook his head slightly.

"How do you feel? How does it feel to have so many people around you? Everyone here knows each other because of you. It can be said that you are the real initiator of this party."

"You are the one who is fanning the flames..."

"Don't worry too much about the details." Mr. Hiratsuka laughed and patted my shoulder.

"Compared to your past, you have really improved a lot. In the past, the relationship between you and Yukinoshita was basically maintained by Yuigahama. In the beginning, it was because of Yuigahama's introduction that you were able to come into contact with other people and gradually expand your own social circle."

That's true, whether it's Hayama, Isshiki, or Saki. Those who came to ask for help basically only knew Yuigahama at the beginning. Through Yuigahama's efforts, we gradually became familiar with each other, and our social circle was expanded without us noticing.

"You can now be said to have become an independent adult. Although you still have many shortcomings, they are the few stubborn remnants of your past self that remain in your present self..."

“If you can, please call this a feature.”

"Well, that's not bad." Mr. Hiratsuka's voice was filled with a slight smile: "After all, you are Hikigaya Hachiman, not just anyone else. You have something special. If you don't have these things, are you still you? Just like if I don't smoke, don't drink, and don't worry about marriage problems, am I still me?"

"The last one is a little strange..." After I said that, Mr. Hiratsuka looked at me with a half-smile.

"What's weird?"

With such a response, I didn't know how to answer Mr. Hiratsuka. I was speechless for a moment and chose to remain silent.

"I am somewhat aware of this." Teacher Hiratsuka may have noticed my embarrassment and did not pursue it any further. She waved her hand generously.

"After all, I'm not a very demanding person, but if I've been hurt many times, I'll become more cautious."

"Have you ever been hurt?"

"Of course. I'm so beautiful and outstanding. Do you really think I have never had any emotional experience?" Teacher Hiratsuka looked at me angrily.

Ah, she is indeed very beautiful and excellent, but on the contrary, her personality and hobbies are also very bad.

“I haven’t thought about it that way.”

Hiratsuka-sensei actually had a relationship experience? I really hadn't thought about it. Or rather, how could I have thought of it? When I suddenly realized this fact, I felt that my worldview had collapsed a little.

"Didn't I tell you before that I lived with someone? Although afterwards I felt like I was being cheated of money and sex..." Thinking carefully, it seems that once when I went to eat ramen with Hiratsuka teacher, Hiratsuka teacher mentioned that he lived with someone and was cheated of money and sex...

Was it when we went to eat ramen last time? Since the memory is so far away, I have almost forgotten it, but Hiratsuka-sensei should have said something like this.

"Don't you believe it? Hikigaya?"

"Yes, I think Hiratsuka-sensei is not that smart..."

"You think too highly of me, Hikigaya." Hiratsuka-sensei became visibly depressed: "Everyone's IQ drops when they have feelings for others. Even I cannot escape this situation."

I looked at Ms. Hiratsuka seriously, carefully checking whether she was joking or not. Ms. Hiratsuka actually admitted that her IQ would drop under certain circumstances, which was as shocking as me admitting that Chiba was not the world's number one city...

But Hiratsuka-sensei's expression was too serious, and it didn't look like she was joking.

"It will be much better after you've experienced it. Love is like this. Some people are struggling, some are trying to get rid of it. You don't understand it now, but you will understand it in the future. By the way, Hikigaya, have you ever been in love? But with your personality..."

Teacher Hiratsuka kept talking. After revealing her own love history, she certainly wanted others to talk to her about their own emotional experiences.

"I think so..."

Hiratsuka-sensei's voice suddenly stopped because of my response.

"Really?" For some reason, Mr. Hiratsuka lowered his voice and bent down, looking at me in surprise.

"Why are you so surprised? Besides, you're too close. It's not something worth keeping secret."

"Yeah, when Yuigahama asked you before, didn't you say you had never experienced it?"

"I'm curious, how did you know this?"

"Well, I have all kinds of channels." Putting away his jokes, Mr. Hiratsuka looked at me seriously and said, "If what you said is true, then you have deceived Yuigahama, right?"

If you think about it literally, I did deceive Yuigahama, but I didn't lie either.

"I didn't lie to Yuigahama. As for that relationship, you can say you experienced it, or you can say you didn't experience it."

"What kind of tongue twister is that?"

"We haven't officially confirmed our relationship, but I personally think that we should be considered in a relationship of some kind."

"It's a really suitable relationship for you."

"What do you mean?"

Hiratsuka-sensei raised his body and said, "That's what I mean. But I can roughly guess the situation. We are just very close, but not in a confirmed romantic relationship, right? In other words, we are more than friends but less than lovers..."

"That's about what it means." I lowered my head and stared at my quilt in a daze.

"Maybe I misunderstood. I'm the type of idiot who tends to overthink."

"I don't think you misunderstood. So, what is your relationship with that girl like now?"

"Teacher, don't you still care about the experience of living together before?"

"You're still as sharp as ever." Mr. Hiratsuka said with a wry smile, "It's really hard to get along with someone like you. You can detect everything I want to expose and everything I don't want to expose."

"If possible, I hope you can call it the ability to read people's expressions."

"If you understand it so clearly, you should know that I don't want to talk about it too much..."

There was silence between Hiratsuka-sensei and me for a while, and finally I nodded to Hiratsuka-sensei.

Just like I don't want to talk about my college experiences, Mr. Hiratsuka certainly doesn't want to talk too much about his previous relationship history. We all have our own experiences and stories. Similarly, we don't want to talk too much about some of the things we have experienced.

"That's it for now. I'll keep it a secret for you."

"What secrecy?"

"You don't want Yukinoshita and Yuigahama to know about this, right?" Mr. Hiratsuka looked at me thoughtfully. "Although I can roughly guess the reason, it doesn't seem right if I tell you. You can find it out yourself later."

"Why do you act like you know everything..." I rolled my eyes at Mr. Hiratsuka.

"Of course, that's because you're my student, so I'll be on top of your affairs." Teacher Hiratsuka patted his chest proudly, "You don't want to tell Yukinoshita and Yuigahama about this, and you don't know why you think this, right?"

Even if I don't want to admit it, what Hiratsuka-sensei said is indeed correct. I really don't want Yukinoshita and Yuigahama to know about this. I don't know why I did this. My brain seemed to have come to such a conclusion without thinking.

"You have always been like this, but with your current state, you will definitely be able to handle it well. Your future will definitely be much brighter than it is now..."

After saying this, Mr. Hiratsuka left the bed and walked to the center of the health room.

"What about the things you guys discussed? If there's nothing else, you'd better leave the health room quickly. After all, this is for patients to rest, and Hikigaya also needs a quiet environment."

"You are in a good position to say that, but I have already confirmed what I wanted to confirm. It's not good to continue disturbing them here. If a sick person comes later, it will affect them." Yukinoshita stood up and said, and Motochugui and Hai Zhixing also stood up quickly.

It feels like the relationship between them has completely become one of superiors and subordinates. Please pay attention to your position. Logically speaking, I should be your superior.

"Yeah, that's true. We're almost done with the trademark communication. Xiaoyusaka, if you have time in the future, please come to our place and I'll make a lot of delicious food for you."

"Oh, really? Thank you, Yuigahama-nee!"

"Then Mr. Hikigaya, I'm going to go back first. You should have a good rest. If you need anything, you can call me..."

"I understand, thank you."

I nodded to Yuexia, and it seemed that Teacher Yuexia didn't have any classes in the afternoon. But after all, she was very serious about her work, and even if she didn't have classes in the afternoon, she would probably stay in the office and prepare lessons carefully.

"Well, goodbye, Hikigaya." Mr. Hiratsuka waved at me and said.

"Goodbye, Xiaoqi."

"Hikigaya-kun, see you later."

"goodbye teacher."

"Goodbye, Hikigaya-sensei."

"See you later, Hikigaya-sensei."

After everyone said goodbye in turn, Hiratsuka-sensei put the desk back to its original position, everyone left the health room.

The health room, which was very lively before, suddenly became deserted.

I don't know why, but as they left, a sense of sadness in my heart was inexplicably added, an inexplicable sadness...

Chapter 138: Ben Chugui is still curious as always

"It's finally quiet." I said tiredly. After all, I haven't had a good rest. Unlike Benchugui and the others who are full of energy, I now feel deeply tired.

I didn’t feel it before, but once I calmed down, I felt very sleepy. I thought it would be better for me to have a good rest.

Just as I lay down and prepared to fall asleep, the door of the health room rang again at an inopportune time.

Did someone forget to bring something? It’s really annoying. When you go out, can’t you check carefully to see if you forgot to bring anything before leaving?

"The door should not be locked, try it."

Hearing my voice, the person outside opened the door. I looked closely and it was Motoki? Wasn't this guy usually very careful? Did he become abnormal and in a trance today because he met Yukinoshita?

"Why are you back? Did you forget to bring something?"

"Tsk, I won't make such a low-level mistake."

"Then why did you come back?" This person came back specially, could it be just to disturb my rest? Such a strange thought popped up in my mind, but then I rejected it. Although Ben Chugui is usually very willful, he should not follow his own temper in some key places.

"Of course I came back for something, and Mr. Hikigaya, when I left, didn't I say I would see you later, Mr. Hikigaya?"

"What kind of word game is this..."

Thinking back, when saying goodbye before, some people did say "see you later" instead of "goodbye". But in the ordinary sense, this is no different from goodbye, right? Only you can play words like this...

"Tsk."

"Don't be disgusted! As for me, I have no choice but to do it because of various tasks. In fact, I don't want to disturb the hardworking and popular Mr. Hikigaya's rest." Motohatsu Gui said there with a look of grievance.

Suddenly, I felt a chill that was different from the temperature. When teasing others, please don't try so hard to be cute!

"What kind of mission is that? From the student union? Or is it a new arrangement of the school?"

"Neither, but let's just treat it as a student union mission." Ben Chugui said, clacking to the bedside and sitting down on the chair beside the bed: "This is a special mission!"

"Is this some new word game?"

"How annoying, Mr. Hikigaya, what do you think of me?"

"Seriously?"

"Forget it. If Hikigaya-sensei speaks seriously, he'll definitely say something I don't like to hear."

"What a willful reason."

"If possible, Mr. Hikigaya, can you call this wisdom?"

"I don't remember what wisdom is to only listen to what you like to say. Where did you come from, tyrant?"

"As expected, Mr. Hikigaya is annoying. A cute pretty girl took the initiative to talk to you, but you didn't praise her, and you even looked at me with disdain." Motochūgui looked at me with dissatisfaction, and her mouth pouted slightly because of dissatisfaction: "Mr. Hikigaya, don't you have any emotional intelligence at all?"

I felt that I was an absolute fool for trying to argue with Ben Chugui.

I didn't respond to Ben Chugui's words, but placed my hands flat on the quilt. Ben Chugui was probably bored, and was twirling her hair with her hands.

"So, why did you come back?!"

"So direct? That's not like Hikigaya-sensei at all."

"You have been changing the subject since just now, right? Tell me why you came back quickly. You definitely didn't come here just to chat with me!" Because Ben Chugui kept avoiding my questions, I became a little irritated, and my tone unconsciously became much heavier.

"What? Of course I came back for something important!"

"You speak so confidently, but why are your eyes always looking somewhere else..." He spoke helplessly. Motochu Gui really couldn't lie at all.

If I don't consider that the speaker is looking around all the time, the words just now may indeed make me believe

"Well, it's not a question that I'm embarrassed to ask." Ben Chugui twisted her body shyly, her eyes constantly wandering around the health room.

"If there is no problem, I'm going to rest..." I felt even more sleepy after being disturbed by Ben Chugui. Now I really want to have a good rest.

"Wait, Mr. Hikigaya, I do have something I want to discuss with you." I was just about to lie down when Motochū Kei grabbed my shirt in panic.