Bengtie, I have a Collapse simulator

When he counted to 1, Gu Che took away the hand covering Xilin, and smiled at Xilin, who was still a little confused looking at the cake in front of her:

"Happy birthday, Xilin!"

Xilin's pair of golden eyes were shining, full of surprise and happiness.

Chapter 70: My brother is dead! Otto will die! (5k)

"Is there anything Celine wants?"

"I want to eat the snacks my brother made again."

............

Gu Che often thought about trivial problems in an incredible way. He had a rare case of insomnia and stayed awake until four in the morning, thinking a lot.

The night seduces the insomniac to commit crimes, and the awake people cannot find a good night's sleep.

To Gu Che, the dark night was just the day in a different color. He stared at the ceiling with his eyes open, and time formed a sealed cocoon, wrapping him inside, sealing him like amber.

The current situation has already exceeded his expectations, and he has also underestimated his importance in Xilin's heart.

Recalling the scene of Xilin hugging him and crying, he couldn't help but smile bitterly.

Death is the most taboo topic in the world. Gu Che once firmly believed that he was not afraid of death and planned a stage for his own end. But now, the troupe has been set up and the audience has been seated, but the protagonist who is about to go on stage is hesitant.

He didn't want to die, but he had to die.

The side effects of the golden talent cannot be eliminated. No matter whether he chooses genetic ascension or mechanical ascension, it cannot prevent his premature death.

People are born with desires, but their ability to realize their desires will never catch up with their ability to desire, which is an eternal distance. This means pain.

He couldn't help but wonder, what would happen to Xilin if he died?

But he didn't find the answer. He just stared at the dark ceiling silently, without saying a word.

Speechless. Gu Che turned his head and glanced at the flowers Xilin brought. The lily of the valley was still blooming at four in the morning.

Inexplicably, Gu Che remembered an article he had read before -

[At 4am, I gazed at the crabapple blossoms and found them even more beautiful. They were in full bloom, and contained a kind of sad beauty.]

[The crabapple blossoms at four in the morning are precious. If a flower is beautiful, I sometimes can't help but say to myself: I must live! ]

Flowers bloom and die, wither and are reborn.

It is now November 11, less than two months away from the doctors' most optimistic expectations.

Should I continue to live...? Gu Che murmured in his heart.

A dull and vague pain spread throughout his body. Although Gu Che had lost his sense of pain, he could still feel that every organ and every tissue in his body was wailing in pain.

Gu Che had always been a healthy person. When he got sick, it was just a cold or fever, which was a minor illness that he could recover as long as he took medicine and rested for a few days. So at that time, it was difficult for him to truly understand a patient, understand the other person's pain and struggle...

If you want to know, you must first become.

And now that he is about to die, he can empathize with them.

He wanted to live and continue to be with Xilin.

Gu Che turned his head and looked at Xilin who was sleeping on the other bed. The girl was sleeping peacefully, breathing evenly, with a smile on her lips, as if she was experiencing a sweet dream.

Gu Che felt inexplicably relaxed and remembered what Xilin said to him when she hugged him after the birthday celebration.

"Xilin wants to sleep with her brother tonight."

Looking at the sleeping face of the girl, Gu Che suddenly had an inexplicable feeling in his heart. But this feeling is only suitable to be hidden in the heart, can not be said, can not be thought, but can not be forgotten. They can not be turned into language, they can not be turned into language, once they become language, they are no longer them. They are a hazy warmth and loneliness, a mature hope and despair, their territory is only two places: the heart and the grave.

Gu Che's heart suddenly started beating violently, and the discordant heartbeat made his breathing become rapid. Suddenly, as if a string suddenly broke, Gu Che's consciousness seemed to be pulled by a hand and sank to the bottom of the sea... He completely fell into the bottomless abyss.

............................................

Xilin sat blankly in the ward where Gu Che had lived for three years, a ward that was overly familiar to her, with her eyes wide open, as if staring at somewhere in the void.

The warm-toned ward was filled with traces of Xilin's care, including the green ivy on the windowsill, the bookshelf by the wall, and the vase on the blue cushion on the bedside table, although the lily of the valley in the vase had withered.

Xilin was not in the mood to replace the flowers with new ones because the people who wanted to see the flowers were no longer here.

She looked around and felt that she was not decorating a ward belonging to Gu Che, but rather a coffin belonging to Gu Che.

Gu Che's condition continued to worsen, and Xilin's mood became worse.

Cecilia walked in from outside and saw Xilin sitting alone in the ward, staring at the empty bed, and felt a little distressed for a moment.

She walked to Xilin and said softly:

"Xilin, do you want to go see your brother?"

Xilin turned her head and subconsciously dodged his gaze, trying to escape, but then her eyes became firm and she nodded:

"Celin is going."

....................

Gu Che was urgently transferred to the intensive care unit. Xilin, wearing a thick isolation suit, stood blankly at the door of the intensive care unit, looking at the scene inside the ward through the small piece of glass on the door.

What I saw through the window was Gu Che surrounded by doctors and instruments.

Doctors were busy walking around, images were flashing on the instruments, and unknown drugs were constantly being injected into the body from the hose...

The doctor's shouts, the beeping of the ventilator, the ticking of the electrocardiograph, and the dripping of the injection pump were all irritating Xilin's nerves step by step. Things finally developed to the worst point, just like the dam was finally destroyed by the ant hole, and it was out of control from then on.

At that moment, Xilin finally knew.

Is life so fragile?

She just stood there blankly at the door, like a kite with a broken string, losing direction and traction, and eventually falling to the ground, breaking her frame and cracking her body...

The Honkai disease that Gu Che suffered from was different from the ordinary Honkai disease. It was more like a meme. Once infected, it could not be shaken off or cured. One could only watch his body deteriorate and his health was gone. Now, Gu Che had moved into the intensive care unit, and there was no possibility of moving back after he got better.

In fact, whether it was Gu Che, his family, or even Xilin herself, they all knew that there was only one most cruel outcome waiting for Gu Che -

He will die.

Xilin thought of the wish she made on her birthday yesterday. At that time, she clasped her hands together, closed her eyes, and made a wish under the gaze of Gu Che and Qiyana's family -

I hope my brother survives.

But now it seems that birthday wishes are just tricks to please children.

The wish never came true!

......

Gu Che returned to the white silence again. There were no extra colors in the intensive care unit, no colorful flowers, and no cushions decorating the cabinets. There were only the green surgical gowns worn by the doctors and the green lines jumping on the instruments.

Xilin spent several months making Gu Che's ward cozy, but now everything has returned to square one.

"What's the situation?" Cecilia, who was standing next to Xilin, asked the doctor beside her.

The doctor, who was also wrapped tightly, sounded a little dull. He whispered:

"It's still the same. If we are optimistic, we can still celebrate Christmas again this year."

Xilin's heart sank.

"The patient's condition is now stable. Would you like to go in and take a look?" the doctor continued.

Xilin turned her head and looked at Cecilia with an expectant look. Cecilia smiled and nodded, "Thank you for your help."

.........

Wearing a heavy protective suit, Xilin stood in front of Gu Che, feeling a little at a loss, with her hands clenched tightly, as if trying to grasp her courage.

Gu Che was lying on the hospital bed with a ventilator in his mouth. There was a tube inserted directly into his lungs, moving with his rising and falling breathing.

Gu Che could no longer speak at this time. He could only look at Xilin, whose eyes were a little red, smiled slightly, stretched out his right hand, waved at her, and motioned her to come closer.

Xilin walked over and then Gu Che held her hand.

Her brother's hands were very cold, and it felt like touching iron. Xilin felt the warmth from Gu Che's hands, and a chill also surged into her heart.

She was trembling all over, her mouth half open, tears unconsciously flowing from the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks. Xilin was afraid, afraid of death, afraid of losing...

Suddenly, Xilin felt that the hand holding her seemed to be tighter. She raised her head and looked at her brother on the hospital bed. She found that her brother was smiling at her. Although he could not speak because of the ventilator, his blue eyes seemed to say everything.

The ultimate of all art is the dying eye.

"Brother, don't die, don't die!"

Xilin couldn't hold it back any longer, she cried and hugged Gu Che's hands, crying out her wish in the most humble tone. At that moment, all the weakness, unwillingness, and sadness hidden in Xilin's heart were released without reservation.

The doctor came in from outside and reminded:

"Time is up."

Cecilia's eyes were red, she was a sentimental person. Looking at the brother and sister over there, she sighed and said, "Let them stay a little longer..."

Others may be your hell, where there are armors made of scars of the soul, swords forged from defensive eyes, mazes arranged by language, and traps hidden by smiles. Behind them, of course, there is still a lonely heart trembling, and there is still an unquenched desire for communication.

................................

It is now mid-November, and Gu Che has been sentenced to death while in a coma, with a one-month reprieve.

Xilin really hopes that time can pass slower, but time is capricious, arrogant and unreasonable. It will not stop because of someone's will. The wall clock continues to move as usual.

It was as if he was trying desperately to grab onto something, but the tighter he held on, the more time slipped away silently through his fingers like sand.

November, December...

12 month 25 day.

Christmas.

Snowflakes fell, gently covering the ground. People happily picked out holiday decorations, hurried through the busy streets, carrying bags full of gifts in their hands, with joyful smiles on their faces. Every household decorated a beautiful Christmas tree, which was hung with shining lights and gorgeous decorations, and there was singing coming from nowhere, as if singing praises for the holiday.

The book says that Christmas is the happiest time of the year, when people give each other gifts to express friendship and love. But how can Xilin not be happy?

While the children were still looking forward to Christmas presents from Santa Claus, Xilin had already started preparing Christmas presents for her brother.

Xilin has already accepted the reality. She no longer complains about the unfairness of fate, nor does she expect miracles. Now, she just wants to spend every day with her brother.

That's good, Xilin is not greedy.

She had learned how to make snacks before, and originally wanted to make them for her brother, because he used to make them for her. But now her brother has a ventilator in his mouth, and the only food he eats is the food that has been ground into a liquid by a grinder.

But there was no hope now. Xilin's mind was filled with the food that had been ground by the grinder into a near-fluid state, had lost its original shape, and was flowing into her stomach bit by bit through the nasogastric tube.

Unable to deliver homemade snacks, Xilin strolled down the street.

"Miss, do you want to choose a gift?"

Hearing the vendor's call, Xilin stopped and turned to look at him.

"Then come and have a look at what I have here. They're perfect whether you're giving them to friends, family or lovers." As if sensing a business opportunity, the vendor continued.

Xilin walked to the stall, looked left and right, and picked out a snow globe.

In the spherical glass cover, snowflakes fell on the cottage, and outside the house was a green lawn with flowers blooming. In the yard, a boy held a girl's hand, pointing at the flowers with a proud look on his face. The girl looked at the boy with curiosity, and time froze here.

Xilin was somewhat touched. Without saying anything more, she bought the snow globe and prepared to leave.

Suddenly, Walter appeared beside her and said anxiously: “Xilin, I finally found you.”

"Uncle Walter, what's wrong?" Xilin was a little confused. Why did Walter come to the market to find her?

"Your brother is dying."

"!" Xilin's pupils suddenly dilated, and she disappeared from the spot the next second.

...

The tranquility of a snowy day is refreshing.

When Xilin arrived at Gu Che's ward, she happened to see a group of doctors bowing with their hands in front of them. Cecilia and the others were crying with their faces covered, and even Siegfried, a man who rarely sheds tears, burst into tears.

Xilin was stunned, and the snow globe she had just bought slipped out of her hand and fell to the ground.

"Snapped!"

The snow globe shattered to the ground, just like Xilin's heart now.

Reality has never been a fairy tale, and any disaster may be preceded by the word "more".

...

Xilin was in a daze, as if a piece of her heart was missing. She just stood alone at the door of the ward, staring blankly at everything in the ward.