Real teaching, hypocritical gray life

"The answer is no. The words 'I like you' are the result of countless simulations in their minds. Even if they have made up their minds, they will never be able to say them when they confess their feelings."

"At least I think that's what confession is. It carries hope, fear of failure, uneasiness of ending, joy of success... Just from this desperate heart, I don't think it should be passed over with a vague excuse like a lie."

"What really hurts people is a sincere betrayal. So if you do this, it will only make both of you regret it. It's better to face it head-on."

"Well......."

After listening to my explanation, Ichinose looked at me intently, and her lips moved slightly as if she was mumbling a long sentence. However, because the sound and movement were too small, I couldn't tell if she was expressing anything.

It's time for things to come to an end.

I lowered my head and silently listened to the rustling sounds in the green belt behind and Ichinose's exclamation.

"Chihiro-chan?!"

"I clearly asked Fanbo to come out alone, so why is Luo-san here too... Is Fanbo really in love with Luo-kun?"

"No, that's not the case. Let me explain."

"No need to explain, I already understand." After saying that, Bai Bo ran away crying.

"Wait, Chihiro!"

"Sorry, I'll go explain this to Chihiro now."

"Thank you for the trouble." I nodded, and Ichinose rushed out instantly.

My eyes followed the girls' running figures, and after confirming the location where they were talking, I stood where Shiranami-san suddenly appeared.

The distance doesn't seem to be very far, right? Then Shiranami-san should be able to hear the conversation between Ichinose and I just now... or is this all just my wishful thinking?

I followed the trail and sat down on a wooden chair not far from the two of them, waiting for the outcome.

Overdoing it.

After calming down, I began to reflect on my abnormal behavior today. No matter from which aspect, I could not explain why I wasted my energy on such a problem that was not necessary for me.

So, what am I doing this for?

Growth? Desire? Love?

Or - disgust?

Chapter 30: Confession of the Afterglow

People are just living, and there is no meaning in living. It's like "or", anything is fine. That's why I don't have the thought that I must live.

This is also the only way to allow people's own spirit to jump out of the second nature of human beings, so as to obtain unlimited expansion of the thinking field. It is also the boundary line between a madman and a philosopher.

Because of this ability, you will make assumptions, assuming that your life has real value. After the assumption path confirms this, then your subsequent development will not escape a problem no matter how it is.

who are you?

In other words, what kind of being are you?

In the past ten years, I thought I had found my existence. But during a break, she handed me a book called "The Ancient Times and Other Times". To be precise, it was not a book, but a sentence in it - people need meaning when they are awake, because people are prisoners of time.

After reading this sentence, I realized that what I was sure of was not a clear self-awareness, but their definition and evaluation of me.

Have you ever heard of a pendulum?

If the people in the world can be divided into the two extremes that the pendulum can reach, then I will always be stuck in the swinging path.

Beginning or end, maybe I will never be able to join this competition.

What on earth am I......

This is the key point to understand everything.

To do this, I may have to do whatever it takes, as I have done in the past.

Even though previous sins cannot be erased until the end.

0

Sixteen minutes.

This is my time to rest on the wooden chair.

There were no clocks around, and I didn't wear a watch, so if you ask me how I could get such an accurate time, I could probably only blame it on the intuition I've developed over the years.

Ichinose followed the fleeing Shiranami-san and had a long conversation with her in the shadow of the building for 16 minutes. The long wait ended with Shiranami-san running past me crying. I don't know if it was an illusion, but she seemed to have peeked at me when she wiped her tears before leaving. It might be a bit too much to say peeping, perhaps resentment is more appropriate.

Anyone would be hated if I were in this situation. Being misunderstood as someone advising others to refuse to confess is something that only a vicious person would do.

After Shiranami left, Ichinose couldn't calm down for a long time. Although what happened next had nothing to do with me, I decided to wait. I bought a bottle of UCC canned coffee from a roadside vending machine.

I heard that this brand is the best at making coffee, but I can’t taste the difference from other brands of coffee.

The sun at dusk burst out its last flames of the day, and the extreme light was stained with layers of flame-like orange-red light. As long as you stare closely, all the scenery in your sight will begin to distort and drift away. The clouds in the sky can't withstand the burning of the flames, and the backs are charred.

In this illusory and ethereal world, the residual warmth it carries is finally absorbed by the moon. The street lamp crosses the boundary between light and dark, and the snowflake-like light illuminates the surroundings.

Cold with temperature.

At this time, Ichinose also walked out with a depressed look on his face.

"Ah... It's already this late and Luo-kun hasn't gone home yet?" Ichinose came to my side and forced a smile.

"You found me. I thought I hid it well."

"Lord Luo has no intention of hiding at all..."

"But it's rare to find me in such a dark situation."

"........I think I was really wrong....When facing Chihiro's emotions, I have been trying to solve the problem by escaping. I shouldn't have done that." After a brief greeting, Ichinose began to regret himself.

According to my fantasy, I should say a few words of comfort at this time, but facing the straightforward reality, I can't open my mouth.

Comfort - I've never been good at it. My comfort is more like refutation.

Why can't escape be a solution? Turn escape into reality, then escape will no longer be escape, but reality in your daily eyes.

"Dating is really difficult..."

"If you are alone, of course it will be difficult. But if you are with someone, there will always be support in your heart."

"That's right... Luo Jun has said so much, and you still say that you have never been in love?"

"I've never experienced anything like that."

"But I feel like you know a lot about this, as you said just now."

"I just stole words from someone else's book, that's all. The book's title seems to be "Falling in Love with Pas de Deux"? "

"The books Luo reads are really diverse. Don't you have any fixed direction?"

"When I want to read a book, any book is fine... I guess that's what I feel like. If you don't believe me, I can't help it. Anyway, I don't think I've ever experienced a period of emotional ups and downs."

"Since Luo Jun is so sure, then this is the fact."

You unexpectedly trust me.

"But I still want to thank Luo Jun today for involving you in this matter."

"If possible, try to reduce this kind of trouble to zero. Seeking help from a teacher may also be a good choice."

"I'm sorry to bother you. But forget about looking for the teacher. Mr. Hoshinomiya will definitely make trouble."

........It might be even worse.

"........Luo-jun, do you think Chihiro and I can still get along as usual tomorrow?" After a moment of silence, Ichinose asked me worriedly again.

"If it's Ichinose, there won't be any problem."

"why?"

"Because that's the truth."

"What kind of answer is this......"

"Because it's not really an answer, I chose to be mysterious."

"Pfft - what Luo Jun said is really interesting."

Really? Thanks for the compliment. I don't know what's so funny about it though.

"By the way, this is for you."

"Is this....still warm?"

"Well, I just subconsciously bought an extra bottle from the vending machine over there. Barley and red bean soup. I don't know if it suits your taste."

"I'm not a picky eater... Anyway, thank you very much." Ichinose took the canned drink in his hand with a smile.

"Since the matter has been resolved, I will leave first." I picked up my messenger bag and prepared to leave, but Ichinose stopped me halfway.

"Wait, since you've been in so much trouble today, I'll treat you to a meal."

"Don't bother, I just want to sleep now."

"No, I'll feel bad about it. Besides, who would go to bed at this time?"

"......"

Didn’t you see it today?

"Has Luojun started skipping dinner again?"

".......I understand. Ichinose and I will go."

"Yeah." Ichinose smiled with satisfaction and led me to the Keyaki Shopping Center.

"Luo is surprisingly good at taking care of people..."

"What are you saying?"

"Oh, no, nothing."

If you have something in your heart, just keep it to yourself. I would feel ashamed if I said it out loud.

Well, today's matter has been resolved perfectly.

It would be even better if there wasn't someone following me.

Chapter 31: Have you really confirmed your relationship?

The feeling of meeting unexpectedly is always so natural, comfortable and pleasant...

Okay, I'm kidding. I've never hated the word "unexpected encounter" so much.

"The meeting will be held tomorrow. Has the digital camera been repaired?"

Yesterday, Sunday morning, I ran into Ayanokouji and his group in the elevator without any surprise, including Kikyo Kushida and another witness, whose name I learned was Sakura Airi.

Since she didn't seem to want to make friends or say hello to me, the topics we talked about would basically deviate from the case, such as the digital camera repair.

"It will probably take three or four days to repair the digital camera, but this incident has little to do with the camera. Sakura has sorted out the photos in the camera, but she still has the final say on whether to participate in the testimony."

Does that mean her problem is still unsolved? That's right, after all, personality changes don't happen overnight.

“That’s really hard work.”

"It's all handled by Horikita. She's the only one who's working hard. The rest of us are basically just doing odd jobs."

"It sounds like you guys are well prepared?"

"I don't know, but the more clues the better."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we still don't have any reliable source of information."

"It's already great that we can find two known witnesses at the time. Horikita didn't expect you to find any useful clues."

"It's really too difficult....By the way, it's really hot today."

I couldn't adapt to the stuffy environment I had just entered, and my steps stopped at the air-conditioning vent at the entrance of the dormitory hall.

"I've checked the weather forecast. Today is already the coldest day in the past week. The temperature will only get higher in the coming days. And it's not even August yet."

"In such a hot environment, I don't want to think seriously at all."

"There is air conditioning in the classroom, you just have to be patient on the way."

I listened patiently to Ayanokouji's advice, and tried desperately to think of the best tree-lined route under visual conditions. However, even though I was able to avoid the sun's rays to a large extent, beads of sweat still appeared on my forehead.