What's wrong with me?

"If I say so, I'd like you, dear, to be so dependent on me."

The last ray of light in the beautiful eyes gradually dissipated, leaving only the biting coldness like the cold wind. The girl was silent for a long time, but she looked into his eyes, and reflected in his pupils was still her stubborn expression. He sighed deeply, shook his head and buried his face in his arms.

It was drizzling outside, and although he was in a warm room, Qi Xia could feel the temperature in his body slipping away bit by bit, and his chest ached slightly, which was proof that he still loved her deeply.

Suddenly, he raised his head and smiled at his girlfriend in front of him, just like he did every time he picked her up from get off work outside her company.

"I know, Yue Ran, I know everything... Xu Zijin has already told me that you could have been promoted to CEO of your company last month, right? It was only because of me that you chose to stay here..."

"You are so stupid. That's the CEO position, a position that countless people would fight for. You gave up just for me. You are so stupid. Your life is so wonderful, why do you have to stop because of me?"

"I didn't understand before. I thought that as long as two people love each other, there is nothing that can't be overcome. But now I understand that it was me who hindered you and made you always accommodate me. Continuing to be together would only make me feel guilty and sorry for you."

"So, let go, Yue Ran..."

He spoke softly, trying hard to hold back the tears that were about to flow from the corners of his eyes. He had already been embarrassed enough, but at this moment it seemed that God thought he had not been embarrassed enough and forced him to lose all his face in front of the proud girl in front of him.

"It's not worth being with me."

His voice had turned into a plea, and the girl in front of him pondered, as if she had understood everything from his words.

She just stood there silently, but there seemed to be a huge block of ice standing around her. Just looking at her expressionless face at this moment, one would feel as if they were thrown into a freezing cold world of ice and snow, freezing to the bone.

"Xu Zijin..."

A cold tone was forcefully squeezed out of her throat. She bit her lips in anger until drops of blood flowed from her bright red lips, leaving blood-red plum blossoms on her collar.

The most despicable betrayal always comes from within. She just hated that she discovered it so late, which made her feel so relaxed and she didn't even have the chance to experience the same pain and despair as herself.

She understood that he probably would not be willing to go with her anymore, just like she was. He was also so stubborn, even though he didn't know what she had done and even though it was meaningless to argue about it now.

"Yueran, please stop making things difficult for me, okay?"

Qi Xia said in a low voice.

He suddenly felt dizzy, and even the beautiful face of the girl in front of him became blurry.

He really wanted to have a good sleep, a good sleep, preferably the kind from which he would never wake up.

"Honey……"

However, there was a soft and sweet feeling on his lips.

When Qi Xia's head was forcefully twisted towards the girl's direction.

What caught my eye was my girlfriend's eyes, which were full of rippling light and bright as spring. They were very charming and attractive.

Their lips and tongues were tightly intertwined, and the overlapping of saliva and taste buds made a delicate sound.

Qi Xia could feel everything, but his drowsy brain left him with no energy to resist or understand what was happening before his eyes.

He only felt that his body was becoming more and more out of control. Even wanting to move a little finger, Qi Xia had to use all his strength.

"Yueran...don't...don't do this..."

He spoke incoherently, but obviously got no response from the girl.

He just felt the restraints were loosening in a haze.

“No… No… Yue Ran…”

However, he just watched all this in vain, with a painful expression on his face, even though his body didn't feel that way.

"Oh, dear, don't make that expression. Today is our anniversary. Be happy."

"Haha, honey, do you know? I really love you so much. From the moment I saw you, I was completely hopeless. To me, you are my antidote, the only antidote for my terminal illness."

"On the day we met, in that destined little pavilion, the two of us were forever entangled. I could have endured the darkness if I had never seen the light."

"Well... honey~ hehe... let me give you a baby, honey~"

"Yueran... No, this... is absolutely not okay..."

Qi Xia could only watch helplessly as his body was used as a tool and fell into the abyss bit by bit.

Amid the falling rain and snow, time passed by bit by bit. The night outside the window became increasingly darker. The girl's slender eyebrows and moist pupils were full of tenderness and sweetness. She lay down contentedly and happily. In a trance, she seemed to see herself with a big belly.

The medicine she had given him had taken effect, and although he had not fallen asleep completely as he had imagined, it had at least deprived him of many of his senses.

Qi Xia was already unconscious at this moment, but he was still muttering those words to persuade her and make her give up. The girl smiled lovingly, kissed him on the forehead, and touched her belly again.

How much she hopes that she can become a happy expectant mother.

But she had no chance. Even if he was willing to go back with her, the two of them could no longer go back to the way they were before.

She had committed a crime, an unforgivable crime, and the punishment she deserved was about to come. She would no longer be able to stay with him, and everything she had dreamed of would soon become a flower in the water and a moon in the mirror.

She was like a bird with its feathers plucked out. No matter how weakly she flapped her wings, she could no longer fly high like before.

But she did not regret what she had done. She just regretted that she did not really grasp the overall situation and did not really hold his heart tightly, so that someone took advantage of the situation and destroyed everything she expected.

She sat up and looked at Qi Xia. Her beautiful eyes were filled with reluctance and self-blame, and of course a hint of determination.

"I'm sorry, dear. Have a good sleep. When you wake up, you will no longer be in pain or worried."

“… Yue Ran…?”

Even though his mind was already blurry, Qi Xia felt as if he sensed some kind of danger, and he felt the hairs on his body stand up.

"I'm sorry, dear. I'm afraid we can't hold our wedding. I can't wear a snow-white wedding dress for you. I can't be your wife and spend the rest of my life with you. I'm sorry...but it's okay. It will be over soon. It won't hurt, dear.

"Soon we will be together forever, forever, never to be separated... If we can't be together in reality, then let's go to another world together to miss each other..."

Qi Xia smelled a strange yet familiar smell in the air, which seemed to be the smell of gas.

"My dear, I love you, happy anniversary."

She smiled sweetly in front of him, and her beautiful appearance was like a night-blooming cereus quietly blooming in the dark night, and only he could appreciate it.

I don't know when fireworks started to be set off outside the window, it seemed that they were celebrating the opening of a new shopping mall not far away.

But fireworks fade away quickly. When the brilliant light shines through the window onto the two people snuggling together, the girl kisses Qi Xia's lips again. With a burst of fire, his sight returns to a silent darkness...

…………

On xx/xx/xxxx, a gas explosion occurred in xx community, killing two people, a man and a woman. Preliminary investigation determined that the cause of the explosion was suicide for love.

On the same day, a murder occurred in an apartment three kilometers away from the explosion site...

Chapter 7: Back in Time

Qi Xia felt like he was on a train that would never stop. In the pitch darkness, he didn't know where he was, nor did he know which direction this old steam locomotive, which only appeared in those old impression films, would take him.

But he just sat there, waiting quietly.

The scenery outside the window was like a series of yellowed old photos, constantly passing by behind me. The sky was so gray. Suddenly, the train entered the tunnel, and the dark windows reflected Qi Xia's appearance at this moment.

I am such a loser. Not only have I accomplished nothing, but I even caused Yue Ran to die with me...

He thought, looking at his reflection.

He was really sorry for Yue Ran. At the moment before his death, he was burned by the blazing flames. He clearly felt Yue Ran's deep affection for him at the last moment, but unfortunately, he had used up all his opportunities now.

Although he didn't know why he could still think now, if he could have a chance to start his life over again and go back to the time when he hadn't met her, he might hug her tightly and tell her that he loved her too, but he would most likely just look at her from afar and no longer step into her life which should have been better.

The love between him and her was beautiful, and they had countless precious memories worth cherishing for a lifetime, but as he now believed, true love should never require one party to accommodate the other. Their love was beautiful, but it was a complete tragedy in which he was the first to desert.

He was not sad nor regretful about dying with Yue Ran, and even felt a little secretly happy deep in his heart.

Perhaps, this is because he is actually very tired. He has lost two of the three most important women in his life. Perhaps, what he said before about cheering up again was just deceiving himself.

But the only thing he regretted was that Yue Ran had to leave with him. His life was so bleak to begin with, and it didn't matter if it ended. But she shouldn't have died with him. She still had a wonderful life and everything that others envied...

Qi Xia closed his eyes. He hoped that this train, which was going to an unknown place, would never stop. Only the "squeaky" sound of the train running on the railway could bring him a moment of peace.

However, in a trance, he seemed to hear someone calling his name. The next second, the train drove out of the dark tunnel, and the dazzling and warm sunlight enveloped him in an instant...

"Qi Xia, Qi Xia..."

It seemed as if someone's voice came from his ears. The voice sounded familiar and nostalgic. He rubbed his eyes in a daze and straightened his back.

Perhaps because he dozed off on the hard desk for a long time, his arms became numb due to lack of blood circulation.

He opened his eyes, and the dazzling sunlight made him somewhat uncomfortable with the external environment at that time.

He found himself in a classroom. This classroom looked so familiar, as if it was the classroom he had stayed in in high school. Standing in front of the podium was the head teacher who had taught him for three years. At this moment, he was looking at him with a slightly worried look.

"Hey, Lao Xia, what's wrong with you? The teacher is calling you, don't be confused."

The classmate next to him nudged him with his elbow, and Qi Xia remembered that this was the voice of Jia Shuai, his best friend who he had played with for three years in high school.

He hadn't yet realized what was happening, but his body's reaction was obviously faster than his confused brain, and he stood up from the stool in an instant.

"Qi Xia, why did you fall asleep in class? Haven't you had a good rest recently? Even for your grades, you can't stay up so late. Look at you, you have dark circles under your eyes. Okay, sit down."

There was a faint burst of laughter in the classroom. Of course, it was not malicious, but the situation in front of him made Qi Xia a little confused.

Was he dreaming? Or was it a last gasp before death? But if it was a dream, it was all too real, so real that when he stood up just now, he was scratched by the corner of the table, and the pain still made his eyes twitch.

"What's wrong? Any other questions?"

As if noticing that Qi Xia had not responded, the head teacher, who was explaining a math problem, asked Qi Xia with some confusion.

Since his freshman year in high school, he has always been a top student in the class, and his test scores are almost always among the best in the school, which makes all the substitute teachers feel confident in Qi Xia.

But Qi Xia actually fell asleep in class today and looked like he was doubting his life, which made the head teacher a little worried.

It wasn't just the class teacher who felt strange, but also Jia Shuai who was beside Qi Xia, and even Qi Xia's seat in front of him, their class monitor for three years, Lu Yuwei, turned around and couldn't help but look at him with some worry.

"Ah... no, it's okay."

Qi Xia finally reacted and sat down quickly. Although he didn't understand what was going on, everything in front of him seemed to be the real reality, not his fantasy before death.

This little episode came and went quickly, and the head teacher on the podium continued to talk about the big question that he had not yet finished.

"What's wrong with you, Lao Xia? You look a little strange today. This is the first time I see you sleeping in class."

Jia Shuai beside him poked his arm, which suddenly made Qi Xia realize something. He grabbed Jia Shuai's arm and asked him anxiously, "Old Jia, what day is it today?"

"Ah? What's wrong with you, Lao Xia? Are you confused after sleeping? You can't even remember what day it is today? Didn't we just start school for a month? Today is September 9th."

Old Jia was obviously confused by Qi Xia's reaction. Wasn't he wearing a bracelet on his hand? He could have known it by just taking a look. Why did he bother asking him?

"September 9 of which year?"

"??? Of course it's 16, you didn't really fall asleep, did you, Old Xia? I suggest you stay up less at night, otherwise Miss Jiang will be a widow forever."

"Don't talk about that. I'm in a hurry. Do you have a mirror? Lend it to me."

Qi Xia was too lazy to pay attention to him. He just wanted to confirm a fact that he was eager to confirm. As for the rest, he could talk about it slowly later.

"You want to look in the mirror during class? I really don't understand what's wrong with you, Old Xia."

Jia Shuai didn't understand him, and he hesitated for a long time before taking out a small mirror from the desk. Qi Xia was too lazy to argue with him, so he picked up the mirror and looked at his face without saying a word.

He held his breath and his heartbeat couldn't help but accelerate like a runner in a 400-meter race. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he confirmed one thing.

He actually went back to the time when he was still in his senior year of high school!

Chapter 8 High School Years

Qi Xia’s head teacher is named Li, a thin middle-aged man who teaches mathematics.

In Qi Xia's memory, Lao Li had been their homeroom teacher for three years of high school. He was a good teacher who was a little strict but, as expected, caring and considerate of his students.

Even after graduating from college, Qi Xia's social circle became fragmented for some reason, but he always kept in touch with his high school class teacher.

He was once a student that Lao Li had high hopes for, and in the end, just as Lao Li had wished, he performed exceptionally well in the college entrance examination and was admitted to that school that should have had no intersection with him.

After graduation, he encountered difficulties in finding a job, and Lao Li helped him in every way.

Not to mention that he would usually counsel him, even the company where Qi Xia once worked was introduced to him by Lao Li.

I heard that Lao Li even invited the leaders of that company to dinner for him, but it was a pity that he did not cherish such a precious opportunity in the end.

Qi Xia also found out about this later. It is said that a teacher is a father for life, and Qi Xia thought it was true. But when he wanted to repay his teacher, he received the news that Lao Li had passed away.

I heard from his wife that Lao Li was diagnosed with colon cancer before he graduated from college, and it was already in the late stage when he introduced a job to Qi Xia, but he didn't let Qi Xia know any of the news.

Qi Xia held the small mirror in his hand and let out a long breath. It seemed that he was blessed with a good life, and God had indeed given him a chance for a second life.

The figure reflected in the mirror was indeed him, just a few years younger, still in his third year of high school, and far from being as cowardly as he later became.

He put down the mirror and began to sort out everything in his mind. Too many things had happened in just a few hours, so many that it was difficult for his dull brain to digest them all.