They are in the music show, but I am a stranger to them

"Don't just focus on understanding everyone, Chen Qi. You should also let us all understand your feelings. It's better not to keep all your thoughts to yourself, okay?"

But at least, now I may understand you a little, Chen Qi.

You care about everyone in the band. Although I formed this band, the most indispensable person in this band is actually you.

And I guess, in everyone's hearts, my status has long been inferior to yours, right?

But now, I seem to have found a new position for myself.

The person I want to understand is you.

"If you don't mind, Chen Qi, if there is anything that is inconvenient to tell everyone, you can tell me everything. I will help pass it on to everyone in the band and help you reconcile the minor frictions between us."

"I will do my best to help you. I won't let you face everyone's complaints and misunderstandings alone. Believe me."

From now on, you protect everyone in Crychic, and I will protect you.

Although I don’t know what you have experienced or what kind of tragedy you have witnessed that makes you so uneasy and afraid of separation and hurt.

But I will never let you get hurt again. Until the day when the fear and anxiety in your heart are completely eliminated, I will never let you worry again.

　SOｕｓｏ: What is the meaning of this? - I will definitely do it, Chen Qi, believe me.

Volume 144: Chapter 143 Chapter : Toyokawa Shoko's Memories: The Beginning of Drastic Change

When did I realize that my relationship with Chen Qi seemed to be closer than that with other people in Crychic?

Perhaps in the eyes of everyone at Crychic, Chen Qi and I were a little too close. When I realized it belatedly, I discovered that the distance between us was even closer than that of ordinary couples.

I'm afraid that in everyone's eyes, Chen Qi and I have actually started dating a long time ago, right?

But... in fact, I didn't date Chen Qi as everyone expected. From the time they met to the time they separated, we never really confirmed our relationship for even a minute.

In fact, I didn't fall in love with that person as early as everyone thought.

Xiangzi: "Really, Chen Qi, you really don't know how difficult the customer was at the supermarket where I worked today. It was clearly the busiest time, and he bought so many things, but he kept calling."

"We clearly helped her scan the barcode, but she said she didn't bring her wallet. We had to put the returned goods back in place. Really, if she didn't bring her wallet, she should have discovered it earlier~"

Crychic had been established for two months, and on this day, Xiangzi invited Chen Qi to her home as usual - but not to discuss writing lyrics and composing music together.

In the past month, Chen Qi actually went back to Fengchuan's house with Xiangzi almost every day, but he was only responsible for sending Xiangzi home and coming in to sit and rest for a while.

And the person who needs to rest is not Chen Qi, but Xiangzi himself.

Because recently, Xiangzi has added a new job in addition to his studies and band work.

Recently, she is experiencing the working life of an ordinary person under the company and supervision of Chen Qi.

All this happened a month ago. Xiangzi was a little dissatisfied with Chen Qi's stereotype that she was too fragile. In order to prove to Chen Qi that she was not someone who gave up easily, nor a young lady who could not withstand the pressure, she began to use various ways to prove her growth to Chen Qi.

Working was the first "test" that Chen Qi arranged for Xiangzi after he learned of Xiangzi's plan.

"Xiangzi, you've been complaining more and more recently."

In Xiangzi's room, Chen Qi was also sitting nearby, writing the personal song he had decided on earlier for everyone in Crychic, while responding to Xiangzi, who was about to collapse on the soft bed, with a teasing tone:

"I remember you were so excited when you went to work at the beginning of the month. Is our Miss Toyokawa about to give up after a month?"

"Woo..."

However, Chen Qi's teasing made Xiangzi not know how to refute it.

After all, she herself remembered that at the beginning of the month, when she worked with Chen Qi for the first time, she had never had any work experience before and was full of curiosity and novelty, so she made many mistakes on the first day.

At first, she didn't even know how to use a microwave to heat up instant food for the guests.

And now, in this month, it can be said that except for the time at school, Xiangzi really spends all the time with Chen Qi.

From a cashier in a supermarket, to a customer service staff downstairs in a building, to a clerk in the kitchen of a fried chicken shop... Chen Qi took Xiangzi to a different job every week, and during this time, Xiangzi experienced and came into contact with too many things that were almost out of reach for her in the first fifteen years of her life.

For example, hardship, fatigue, and the "trivial matters" that Chen Qi had once told her about, but she didn't realize at first, that would fill the lives of ordinary people.

The naive self in the past could not empathize with him. Only when she put aside her halo as the eldest daughter of the Toyokawa family and immersed herself in the experience, did she understand a little that everything Chen Qi said to her before was not false.

"Perhaps... Chen Qi, you are right." Lying on the bed, after working for half a day, Xiangzi, who was a little tired, looked at the ceiling quietly and murmured involuntarily:

"It's hard for a band that only relies on friendship and can't become a professional band to last long..."

If Crychic wants to survive, all I can do is to stand with Chen Qi until the day we achieve our goal of becoming a professional band.

However, Shiina seems to have a lot of opinions about Chen Qi, and although Chen Qi never mentions it, Xiangzi also knows that he is under a lot of pressure.

Not only does he have to face everyone's misunderstanding, but he also has to lead everyone forward under such huge pressure. The pressure on him is really great.

"It's very hard, Chen Qi."

"Huh? Xiangzi? What did you just say?" Chen Qi, who heard Xiangzi's unclear words, subconsciously turned his head and asked Xiangzi.

However, looking at Chen Qi who didn't hear his words clearly, Xiangzi sat up on the bed again, looked directly into Chen Qi's eyes with a smile, and repeated his words again word by word, very clearly, saying:

"I'm really worried that if you continue to push yourself like this, what if you collapse first one day?"

Chen Qi: "...Why are you suddenly saying this?"

Under Xiangzi's gaze, Chen Qi seemed a little surprised by her frank words, but Xiangzi did not choose to continue the topic. Instead, he walked gently to Chen Qi's side and cast his eyes on Chen Qi's palm on the table.

"Chen Qi, has the burn on your hand gotten better?"

"Ah, this?" When asked by Xiangzi, Chen Qi subconsciously looked at his left hand which was wrapped in gauze, and smiled unconsciously.

This burn was caused by the hot oil splashing when Chen Qi took Xiangzi to work at the fried chicken shop a few days ago.

This time it was not because of Xiangzi, but because of the carelessness of another student who was working, which caused the oil temperature to rise too high. Fortunately, Chen Qi discovered it in time and turned off the machine, so no bigger accident happened.

However, the splashing of a few drops of hot oil and the fact that Chen Qi pushed Xiangzi away from him in time without paying attention to his own actions caused him to suffer this not-so-serious burn.

Chen Qi still remembers that at that time, Xiangzi looked at the burn blister gradually swelling on the back of his hand with a nervous look on his face, tears almost coming out...and in order to comfort Xiangzi at that time, Chen Qi forgot to ask the temporary worker for compensation for medical expenses. The next day, the worker was fired by the store manager as expected.

"It's okay. Although it looks a little scary, it's actually okay. I don't feel any pain now." In order not to make Xiangzi worry too much, he stretched and retracted his fingers freely and replied with a smile to show that nothing was wrong.

"Even if you're fine, you can't be careless. Didn't the doctor tell you? You need to apply medicine regularly so you can recover faster."

Xiangzi unconsciously stroked Chen Qi's broad palm with his fingers, and soon took out the ointment and gauze that he had prepared long ago from his drawer. Under Chen Qi's gaze, he carefully untied the gauze with the ointment on the back of Chen Qi's hand.

Apply ointment on the burn and wrap it with gauze neither too tight nor too loose. This is the process of changing the dressing. Xiangzi has been repeating this for Chen Qi in the past few days.

And Chen Qi also witnessed time and again that this young lady, who had never done any housework before, was in a panic at the beginning when she saw herself being scalded. After witnessing the process of the doctor applying medicine to her, she took on this small task and became more skilled and calm each time.

Although it was very small, Xiangzi had been growing little by little in front of him over the past month, becoming more resilient day by day.

"How attentive, Xiangzi." Chen Qi couldn't help but sigh softly as he watched Xiangzi's gentle but not slow movements.

"It's nothing." Xiangzi shook his head gently, and continued to bandage Chen Qi, while speaking calmly with a serene yet helpless smile:

"After all, there is only so much I can do for you, Chen Qi."

"Also... I also want to thank you, Chen Qi. Thank you for taking the time to show me so many things even though I knew nothing."

While applying medicine to Chen Qi, Xiangzi also expressed his inner thoughts very frankly. This white moonlight girl who had not experienced any major setbacks and had no inner thoughts that could not be expressed also expressed her feelings directly:

"During this time, I have met many people with you, Chen Qi, and experienced many things that I have never come into contact with before." ⑨

"I now understand why everyone in Crychic has a better relationship with you. Even though I have been trying hard to encourage everyone in the band like you, the effect I have achieved is always not as good as yours."0

"Because you really think about problems from everyone's perspective, and you can really empathize with everyone, but I can't do that."⑸

"It's good enough that you realize this, Xiangzi." After listening to Xiangzi's somewhat frustrated tone, Chen Qi's tone became more teasing.

That was also the first time that Xiangzi saw a relaxed smile on Chen Qi's face, which was always worried.

"Xiangzi, you don't have to feel depressed. Aren't you on good terms with Lixi, Sushi, Xiaomu and Deng? I believe they all remember your care and concern for them in their hearts."

"But... I still can't do it. I can't be as important as you." There was a hint of helplessness in Xiangzi's smile.

A month ago, she was still troubled by the fact that Chen Qi was indifferent to everyone in the band, but now, she has begun to accept the fact that she has not done as much for the band as Chen Qi.

However, even after accepting this fact, Xiangzi did not feel unhappy at all, because she knew very well that what Chen Qi could do was something she could never catch up with at her current level.

"Chen Qi, you not only care about everyone in the band, but you also stand up and lead everyone forward. I am really happy... that I invited you to join Crychic."

"And the only thing I'm doing well right now is probably caring about you alone, right?"

No, actually I haven’t done even this well enough, right?

Xiangzi, who had changed the medicine for Chen Qi, did not notice that Chen Qi's fingers trembled slightly unconsciously after her words. She was just expressing her admiration for this boy who was only three years older than her, and her gratitude to him for helping her truly experience the life of an "ordinary person".

But what’s more important is that with such experience, maybe I am getting closer and closer to Crychic in the true sense, right?

4. “I really hope that one day in the future, I can do more for you and everyone at Crychic.”

⑧ "——No one can change all at once. Everyone grows up little by little. After seeing and experiencing more things, they will become mature." Facing Xiangzi's sigh, Chen Qi unconsciously stroked the wound touched by Xiangzi after retracting his palm, and said with a faint smile:

Mi: "Xiangzi, I also have many shortcomings, and I also need you to enlighten me in a frank way."

"Well, if you need me, I will do my best." Xiangzi, who most wanted to be of help and solve Chen Qi's problems, agreed to this request without hesitation even if Chen Qi didn't say it.

③ "But on the other hand, Chen Qi, if you have any troubles, please tell me in time. I don't want you to carry too much on your own and then collapse from exhaustion."

Umbrella: "Now, everyone in Crychic is relying on you, you must not fall down~"

Lin: "No." Listening to Xiangzi's words of concern for him, Chen Qi responded to her in a relaxed and determined tone after a brief silence, and said softly:

"As long as you can hold on, Xiangzi, I won't collapse before you."

"Knock, knock, knock." Just at this moment, a knock on the door interrupted the conversation of the two people in the room.

After a while, as the door opened, Mrs. Toyokawa, who exuded an aura as soft as moonlight even whiter than Xiangzi's, and had a graceful face, walked slowly into the room with a smile on her face that she could not suppress at all.

"Student Chen Qi, and Xiangzi, I hope I didn't disturb you, did I?"

"Thank you for your hard work all day. I made some drinks for you. I wonder if they suit Chen Qi's taste."

"Mother……"

However, when he saw his mother with an ambiguous smile stepping into the room again, Xiangzi, whose cheeks turned slightly red, realized that his mother must have been eavesdropping on his conversation with Chen Qi outside the door.

Ever since her mother accidentally heard the news that Chen Qi took her to work, she began to care about Chen Qi inexplicably, and even took the initiative to ask her to invite Chen Qi to visit their home.

At first, Xiangzi didn't care much about it. It was not until later, when Chen Qi came to her house more and more frequently, that Mrs. Toyokawa made a bold test on her daughter.

"Xiangzi, do you have feelings for that kid named Chen Qi?"

"If you really like him, I don't mind, okay? After all, that child looks a lot like your father. I feel that if he likes you, he will treat you well with all his heart~"

Although Xiangzi could tell that her mother was just teasing her that the distance between her and Chen Qi was too much and that they were getting too close, she still blushed because of her mother's words, which denied her mother's groundless speculation.

Love and the like... Xiangzi didn't quite understand. The "love" she had experienced mostly were the love stories her parents had told her countless times, the kind of love that was not afraid of any obstacles and wanted to be together forever.

She had even heard her mother say more than once that the feelings that had been brewing from everything she and her father had gone through were the kind of love that was enough for them to die for each other.

And... would I do such a thing for Chen Qi?

No, it's impossible, right? When Xiangzi occasionally thought about this question, he couldn't help but smile slightly, unable to imagine such a scene.

Let’s not talk about herself for now, does Chen Qi definitely like her?

Chen Qi was caring and attentive not only to himself, but also to Crychic and everyone around him. Chen Qi paid more attention to her than to others.

After all, in Chen Qi's heart, she was the person he was most worried about among Crychic.

But in the final analysis, Xiangzi did not feel the kind of preference called "like" from Chen Qi, or rather, Chen Qi's "preference" was imposed on everyone around him. Who among everyone in Crychic has not received special care from Chen Qi?

Now, everyone in the band is moving forward with his support, and Xiangzi himself is very clear about this.

He is Deng's spiritual pillar. Only when he is by Deng's side can Deng burst out with due strength and emotion time and time again. It can be said that it is impossible for Deng, the younger sister, to leave her brother's side.

As for Li Xi, although she couldn't figure out how Chen Qi and Li Xi got along, Xiangzi could still see that although Li Xi complained about Chen Qi all the time, to this day, Li Xi had never had an emotional breakdown, and instead worked hard to improve his skills day by day.

There is no need to say much about Nagasaki, her change is so obvious. In the band, she was just good at agreeing at the beginning, but recently she has begun to learn from Chen Qi to treat everyone in the band gently. Xiangzi would not believe it if she said that nothing happened between her and Chen Qi.

As for Mu... Although Mu hasn't changed much, Xiangzi doesn't think that the personal song Chen Qi wrote specifically for Mu will not have the slightest impact on Mu.

Chen Qi was afraid of loss and separation, so he kept the band moving forward carefully. He had been working so hard, how could I cause him more trouble?

Now everyone is together because of him. Even if Chen Qi and I really have that kind of relationship, can I still really date Chen Qi?

No... that's not realistic.

Xiangzi had a hunch that if there was someone dating Chen Qi inside Crychic, then once the news spread, everyone's relationship would become extremely awkward, and the disbandment of Crychic might not be far away.

Xiangzi didn't want to cause trouble for Chen Qi, and he didn't want himself, the person that Chen Qi had always worried about, to really become the culprit that led to the disbandment of Crychic.

Therefore, she would not date Chen Qi. No matter whether she had such feelings for Chen Qi or not, she would not do that.

All I need to do now is to carefully maintain this big ship that carries everyone, promptly repair the holes in this sailing ship, and constantly maintain and protect it, so that it can continue to sail like this until the end.

This is the only thing I can do, and it is also what I hope to do best now.