They are in the music show, but I am a stranger to them

Obviously it should be like this...4

I just want to keep going like this, why do you still take the initiative to walk into my world?

……④

"Mom...is ill?"

A phone call from home a month later shattered all of Xiangzi's plans and routines. With his mind completely blank, Xiangzi dropped everything he was doing and rushed to the hospital where his mother was staying.

There, Xiangzi saw his mother lying on the sickbed. She looked pale as if she had aged ten years after not seeing her for just one day. Xiangzi, who had never expected that he would encounter such a sudden disaster, collapsed to the ground almost instantly.

And it was at that moment that a pair of familiar large hands appeared behind her, gently supporting her body, preventing her from falling to the ground completely...

However, at this moment, he didn't say anything behind her. He didn't tell her that she should be strong, nor did he comfort her by saying "everything will be fine".

He just did this, silently supporting her weak body, and watched with her as her mother was pushed into the operating room by the doctor, and then slowly sat down with her on a seat beside her.

It was unknown how long it had passed before Xiangzi, who had just regained some consciousness, whispered hoarsely to Chen Qi, who had always been by his side:

"...Thank you for staying with me, Chen Qi, but you don't need to do this."

"…What are you talking about, Xiangzi?"

However, the next moment, Xiangzi only felt the warmth of Chen Qi's palm, which gently wrapped around her cold little hand, trying to give her a little comfort, and then responded in a deep voice:

"Even if you didn't ask me, I would still do this... I will accompany you through all the hardships, and I will do my best to help you get through this."

"Don't worry about me, Xiangzi. I told you that, didn't I? I will never collapse before you collapse. So you don't have to worry about me. As long as you don't collapse, I will never leave before you."

"...Why?" Listening to Chen Qi's words of comfort, Xiangzi felt his slightly trembling heart, and suppressed his sore eyes, then he lowered his head and pursed his lips and asked in a low voice:

"This is my family affair. You are clearly not obliged to do this..."

"...I told you, Xiangzi." At that time, Xiangzi felt the warmth of her hand, which was tightly held by Chen Qi with a little force, and heard Chen Qi's answer without hesitation:

"You are very special in my heart, Xiangzi."

"So, as long as it's about you, I will stay by your side no matter what. I will stay with you until we get through these difficulties together. My goal is to protect you from being crushed by these heavy pressures."

Am I just special...?

...So cunning. Why did you say such things to me when I was most helpless, when I needed help the most, but had no idea how to face it all?

“…I won’t be crushed, Chen Qi.”

"As long as you're here, I...will get through this."

"I won't make you worry, I won't make mom worry... I swear."

That day, outside the silent operating room, the girl gritted her teeth and forced herself not to cry, tightly holding the big and warm hand of the boy beside her. Faced with this sudden bad news, she was not really overwhelmed.

She accepted such a bleak reality and chose to cherish every minute of her present life, so that her critically ill mother would not leave any regrets before she left her.

However, she didn't know at that time... all this was just the beginning of despair...

PS: The updates are getting later and later, why? Because my work and rest schedule is getting more and more irregular...

Every time I wake up, I wake up one to two hours later than the day before. I don’t know why.

Volume 1:⑼

崚

Chapter 145 Chapter 144: Toyokawa Shoko's memory: the last straw that broke her back...

"Mom, are you really not going to eat any more?"

"That's enough, Xiangzi, Mom, I feel much better now."

Since Mrs. Toyokawa fell ill, more than a month had passed quietly. On this day, Toyokawa Shoko was just like usual. After completing her studies and band training, she immediately came to the ward to accompany her mother.

As for the words of comfort from his mother lying on the sickbed... Xiangzi, who had witnessed his mother becoming increasingly thin, naturally could not take them seriously.

"Xiangzi, there are some things that Mom wants to say to you while she still has the strength...

Xiangzi: "... Yeah."

When faced with her mother's words, Xiangzi can be said to be completely obedient. This is the only thing she can do now.

Cherish every moment of the present, and try your best to ensure that your mother does not leave with any regrets...

In this way, at least I have some reason to comfort myself and will not feel pain and regret because of the death of my loved ones.

After carefully helping her mother sit steadily on the bed, Mrs. Toyokawa, whose face had become much thinner due to the pain, still tried to show a gentle smile from the heart. She looked at her much stronger daughter in front of her and asked with a tone of relief and heartache:

"Xiangzi...how have you been lately?"

"Well, everything is fine, mom, don't worry." Xiangzi was like a good kid, patiently answering every question from his mother:

“Everything is going well with the band and we will be having our first public performance soon.”

"As for home... Dad seems a little depressed, but you don't have to worry, Mom. I believe he will be able to cheer up again."

Xiangzi did not break her promise and she was not overwhelmed by her mother's serious illness.

On the contrary, she chose to accept this bleak reality silently, endured a blow that she had never been able to bear, and swallowed all the bitterness.

During this month, Xiangzi did not bring negative emotions to the band because of the dramatic changes in her family. She practiced with everyone as if nothing had happened.

During this period, in the eyes of other band members who were unaware of the truth or who knew a little about the dramatic changes in Xiangzi's family, Xiangzi had hardly changed at all except that he no longer participated in team building and went home immediately after training every day.

But Xiangzi actually knew that all this was just an appearance.

"...silly child."

However, facing her daughter who had learned to report only good news and not bad news in this month, Mrs. Toyokawa's haggard face was filled with even more distress. She stretched out her hand with difficulty to rub Xiangzi's hair, and asked softly:

"So, how are you and the kid getting along?"

"..."

Xiangzi did not respond to his mother, because even she herself did not know how to answer this question.

Xiangzi herself knew very well that the reason she was able to survive this most difficult period for her was only because of one person.

If that person had not been by her side from beginning to end, urging her on all the time and encouraging her to cheer up again, Xiangzi believed that with the little bit of willpower she had grown during this time, even if she would not collapse on the spot, she would definitely not accept reality so quickly.

It is even more impossible for her to have the same experience as now, facing the upheaval in her family, and taking care of her studies and Crychic's affairs at the same time...

Crychic is approaching its first performance, and the atmosphere in the band is very tense. Everyone knows that this is their first and most crucial step towards the professionalization of the band. Everyone's attention is now focused on Chen Qi, the backbone of the band.

But now… Chen Qi was worried that his spirit was like a taut spring and might collapse at any time, so he stayed by her side all the time.

This point also caused some objections among everyone in Crychic... Xiangzi was also aware of this.

Also, things at home are not as easy as Xiangzi said.

Because of his mother's serious illness and the bone cancer that almost announced her death, Mr. Toyokawa, who had such a deep relationship with his wife, was completely devastated when he learned the news.

At that time, it seemed even harder for him than for Xiangzi to accept this devastating fact.

During these few days, while taking care of her mother, Xiangzi also paid attention to her father's condition from time to time... And when she saw her considerate father giving up on himself and escaping from reality by getting drunk because of her mother's serious illness, she silently swallowed all the bitterness.

Although she was somewhat disappointed with her father's current condition...she couldn't say anything to blame him.

After all, she knew very well that her father really loved her mother. In fact, the reason why he could only get drunk so helplessly was because there was really no hope for her mother's condition, and her mother couldn't bear to let her beloved husband see her in this state, so she told him not to stay with her.

To the extent that, all the pressure at this time was almost on the shoulders of this girl who was not even sixteen years old.

——No, that’s not entirely true. If Chen Qi hadn’t helped her share so much of the pressure from the band, and even taken the initiative to help her shoulder all of these things that he shouldn’t have been responsible for…

2. If it weren't for Chen Qi, Xiangzi, who was already unable to take care of himself, would never have been able to survive until now.

Jiu Xiangzi is not a fool. If at this point she can still make self-deceiving remarks about Chen Qi not having any "preference" for her, it only shows that she does not have the slightest bit of gratitude in her heart.

Hiss but... Xiangzi felt that everything was not that simple.

０ "Mom..." Xiangzi raised his head unconsciously, looking at his mother who had the most contact with Chen Qi besides himself during this period, and asked unconsciously in a deep voice:

Thinking "Do you think... Chen Qi has done so many things for me and for us, and has given so much, just because he has a crush on me and wants to date me?"

⑶ "Mom, I... am not without confidence, but... I always feel that I am not worthy of his care and dedication to me."

"I have never done anything for him. Do I really just need to agree to date him and accept all his efforts with a clear conscience?"

Lu "..." Mrs. Fengchuan looked at her daughter who was so confused by happiness. After a moment of silence, she shook her head with a smile. She raised her head with difficulty, rubbed her daughter's hair, and answered softly;

"Xiangzi, you are right to have such doubts."

"In fact, at the beginning, even I thought that the boy named Chen Qi took on this responsibility that did not belong to him because he liked you... But during this period, he came to the ward to take care of me every day, just like you, and I gradually realized that he definitely did more than just 'like' you."

"He cherishes you, silly child. He cherishes you who are still sunny and happy and have not been crushed by reality."

Cherish...me?

But I didn't do anything.

Faced with her daughter who was confused and whose cheeks were unconsciously a little rosy, Mrs. Fengchuan, who had been very open with Chen Qi during this period, no longer had any concerns and conveyed all the words she had talked with Chen Qi to her daughter who was unaware of the truth.

"Xiangzi, that kid has been paying special attention to you because he has always felt that you are the one who will influence everyone."

"He protects you, just like he protects everyone he cherishes. He is worried that you will collapse, and even more worried that your collapse will destroy everything he has worked so hard to maintain."

"So, Xiangzi, even though I, your mother, don't know why little Chen Qi is so worried about you and cherishes you so much, I think...his worry is not groundless."

As she spoke, Mrs. Toyokawa subconsciously gently grasped her daughter's delicate hand with sharp edges and corners, and with the last bit of her strength, she solemnly said to her daughter word by word:

"Xiao Xiang, sooner or later mom will leave you... You know this, right?"

"Mom..." Xiangzi felt a pain in his heart when he heard his mother talking about the topic he had always wanted to avoid. But soon, Mrs. Toyokawa took the initiative to interrupt Xiangzi and continued:

"Don't say anything, Xiangzi. I know my body very well. Mom, the one I'm most worried about right now is you."

"I can understand how Xiao Chenqi feels about you. It's the feeling that if the person you care about collapses first, then everything that seems beautiful will disappear into thin air."

"For example, your father... I know him too well. If I leave, your father might do a lot of ridiculous things. By then, Xiangzi, the only person you can rely on, besides yourself, might be him."

"So, promise mom that as long as Chen Qi is with you, you must not leave him like mom did..."

"He may be the only person you can rely on, and the one who is most likely to help you wholeheartedly. Don't hurt his feelings, and don't fall before him... Okay?"

Xiangzi: "... Yeah."

I don't understand why he treats me so well unconditionally. What is the reason why my mother said he "cherishes" me?

I clearly don't know why all this happened, but why can't I help but start to rely on him?

When I was still ignorant, he helped me to find the way out of the maze, and now he has become my most trusted supporter in my most difficult time. Now, I am gradually beginning to understand the meaning of everything Chen Qi led me to do.

It was as if... he had seen through my life trajectory and had read my life through? All my growth under his guidance seemed to be a preparation for this dramatic change in my life.

And in this process, gradually, he has become the most reliable and trusted person in my heart.

...Is this the feeling called "love" between parents?

No, it seems...something is different.

He guided my growth and accompanied me through the most difficult trials. Whenever I needed him, I knew he was always by my side without even turning around...

Gradually, even I have become accustomed to his figure appearing in every corner of my life.

What exactly is this feeling? Do I regard him as my most trustworthy friend, or someone who cares about me like a brother? Or a lover who will never change until death? Toyokawa Shoko can't figure it out now.

It is for this reason that Xiangzi does not understand what kind of emotion he should use to respond to him?

He protected herself and her family and helped her so much. It would be too bad for her if she didn't give him any response until now.

But, what should I do?

"—— Xiangzi? What's wrong?"

Suddenly, a whisper from Chen Qi beside him completely awakened Xiangzi from his memories.

Before they knew it, the time for Crychic's first performance had arrived. However, compared to everyone who had already prepared early and was sitting in the lounge waiting for the performance to begin, Chen Qi was particularly worried about Xiangzi's condition at this time and took her out of the house alone.

Watching Xiangzi's dazed look, Chen Qi, who had been accompanying Xiangzi from beginning to end and paying attention to her mental state for more than a month, also tried his best to encourage Xiangzi.

"Xiangzi... today, we have reached the last step."

"I think your mother would also like to see you and the great success of our first performance. Let's try again so that Mrs. Toyokawa won't have any regrets in her heart, okay?"

……Fool.

These are the words I should say to my mother, Chen Qi.

You clearly have no obligation to help me with all your heart and soul, and I clearly haven't responded to you until now. Why do you want to leave your mark in my life like this?

Why do you leave me like this, when even if I want to leave you, I can't do it?