Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

Qiu Hui closed her eyes in some pain.

“Even if I wanted to favor Aine…” Her voice became smaller and smaller, “I can’t do that.”

Want to help Aine.

But this should not affect other members of the band, including Lenai.

Her obsession with being "correct" and her self-perception of being an "outsider" prevent Qiu Hui from making up her mind to lean towards either side.

That's right. There must be a better, fair way that takes both sides into account and doesn't hurt anyone. Although I can't think of it yet, but...

...that being the case.

Until that perfect method is figured out, as an outsider, it’s better for me not to say too much.

"I'm sorry." Akie said gloomily, "I may have said too much. After all, I'm just a supporting musician. I probably shouldn't have given orders about the band's arrangements..."

Qiu Hui, who was unable to extricate herself from the dilemma, did not say anything else. She just lowered her head quietly and stared at her hands on her thighs without saying a word.

“Togawa-senpai, you…” Riki shook his head helplessly, “You really care about that guy… Where is Aine?”

"But, I also agree with Su Shi's point of view. For us now, a real public performance may be necessary. So..." she continued.

After saying that, Li Xi turned his head and looked at Takamatsu Deng who was sitting next to Qiu Hui.

"Teng, please tell us what you think. What do you think should be done?"

Lixi waited quietly for Deng's opinion.

"I……"

The lamp subconsciously avoided Lixi's sight.

Want to ask for my opinion?

How do I...actually think about it?

Want to host a show?

But, would this irritate Aine? Her promise at that time only lasted until the end of the first performance.

So I don’t want to host a show.

If we were to hold a performance, this band...might really end.

However, as Li Xi and Su Shi said before, if there is no common goal, just practicing in a scattered manner like this will not work.

"I have no idea."

Deng clenched his fists, his eyes becoming slightly moist due to the feeling of powerlessness rising in his heart.

In the end, I can only give such an incompetent answer...

...I really can't lead everyone forward like Xiaoxiang.

"Light..." Li Xi lowered her head in empathy. Although she didn't get a clear answer, she didn't mean to blame him at all.

"Xiao Deng, you should get off at the next stop, right?" At this time, Su Shi, who noticed that the train was about to arrive at the station, reminded.

She then said to Li Xi, "Well, please send Xiao Deng home today. If there is anything else you want to tell her, why not tell her now?"

"Yeah." Li Xi nodded, his eyes becoming firm.

Chapter 45: Su Shi’s Patient Guidance

After Li Xi and Deng got off the car, only Qiu Hui and Su Shi remained in the car.

Qiu Hui also raised her head and made eye contact with the employer lady sitting opposite her.

There was a subtle silence between the two of them, and the noise of the running tram was the only communication between them.

Togawa Akie didn't intend to bring up the topic because she wasn't quite sure how she should get along with Nagasaki Suyo in front of her.

Although she was the one who invited her here as a support musician in the beginning, Qiu Hui felt that she might be the most difficult person to understand and approach in the entire band.

It seemed that she proposed to form a band in order to help Deng get out of the shadow of the past.

Moreover, she has always shown that she is very concerned about unity and tries her best to act as the atmosphere regulator in the team.

However, Akie always felt that Nagasaki Suyo was a little strange.

Although she couldn't find any convincing evidence, she just had this feeling.

Qiu Hui looked into Su Shi's eyes somewhat uneasily. The latter was smiling as always.

"Akie-senpai, what do you think the band should do next?"

After a while, Su Shi suddenly spoke, breaking the silence.

"I'm a supporting musician," Akie answered calmly, "so I don't have any special opinions. Unless, Suyo-san came all the way here to ask for my opinion."

"I see. Then I really want to hear your opinion."

Su Shi clasped his hands together and placed them on his thighs.

"For example, do you think it would be a good thing or a bad thing if Ryuna-chan joined the band?"

This question made Qiu Hui stunned.

"Although I don't know whether she is really coming...but I think it's a good thing. After all, although her personality is a little eccentric, her skills are impeccable." Akie answered truthfully.

"Is that so...senpai and Lixi are both the type who are serious about music itself." Su Shi nodded with a smile.

"Since you've formed a band, it's natural for you to be serious about music," Akie responded.

…serious about music?

This topic suddenly made Qiu Hui realize something.

Aine joined in order to fit in with the band atmosphere of Yugaoka and to attract attention through the band; compared to the music itself, Deng obviously cares more about the interpersonal relationship meaning of "everyone playing in a band together"; only Dulixi seems to care more about the music itself.

And the Su Shi in front of me...

...Based on her indifferent statement just now, she herself doesn't seem to care much about the band's "musicality" itself.

"What's wrong?" Su Shi seemed to notice the sudden change in Qiu Hui's expression, "Is there anything wrong?"

"…Nothing." Qiu Hui shook her head. "I just suddenly had a feeling."

"In this band, apart from Li Xi, it seems that no one really cares about the 'music' itself. Although it is said that 'everyone plays in a band together', for this band, perhaps the important thing is not the 'band' at all, but 'everyone', right?"

After hesitating for a moment, she finally expressed her thoughts.

"Oh, do you think so, senior?" Su Shi replied with a smile as usual.

She did not give a direct reply, so Qiu Hui was not sure whether her conclusion was recognized by the other party.

"So, if you think about it in this sense..."

Qiu Hui's brows were furrowed, and she seemed to have come to a somewhat unpleasant conclusion.

"Since this is a band that cares more about 'interpersonal relationships' than 'music', then accepting highly skilled strangers may be a good thing for this band..."

“…That’s actually a bad thing.”

Akie came to a somewhat unpleasant conclusion.

At the same time, she also realized the most straightforward way to solve Aine's current predicament.

Since Aine became depressed because she felt pressure from Rakuna...

...Then, wouldn't it be fine if we just eliminate Lenai?

……

Yes.

Akie quickly realized that this choice seemed very logical.

At present, the band Aion and Deng, which has not even decided on a name, was not formed for serious purposes such as pursuing musical dreams or making money from the beginning.

Rather, this band is just the opposite. It is a band that was formed around Tomo, who fell into depression due to the departure of Toyokawa, and cares more about using music as a means of connecting with each other than the music itself.

Even Aine was accepted as a full member not because of her performance skills, but because of her contribution in helping Deng come out of the shadows.

Well, even if Rakuna, who has nothing to do with lights, has superb skills...there is no reason for her to join this band.

Qiu Hui completed her reasoning quickly.

But for some reason, she didn't seem to like this obvious and reasonable conclusion.

"...Suyo."

"Um?"

"What do you think... if Lenna joins the band, will it be a good thing or a bad thing?"

Qiu Hui asked in a somewhat hollow tone to Su Shi who was sitting opposite her.

Su Shi shook his head and did not give a direct answer. Instead, he stood up and sat next to Qiu Hui.

“Akie-senpai looks very nervous. She has been like this since a while ago.” She said, “Is it because you are worried about Aine?”

"...Yeah." Akie nodded slightly.

“If that’s the case, senpai should be able to understand.” Suyo said her thoughts, “Although Rakuna-chan’s skills are indeed excellent, but because of this, and because she appeared so suddenly, it will cause a lot of pressure on everyone, including Aine.”

"So, does Suyo-san think that Rakuna joining is a bad thing?"

"I didn't say that." Su Shi smiled and shook his head.

"Is that so..." Qiu Hui sighed and unconsciously curled up slightly.

Motoyo looked at Aki, who was a year older than her but a size smaller than her, and reached out her hand to gently stroke her back, saying, “Perhaps you can’t calm down because you’re too worried about Aine? I think it’s better not to force yourself to think about this anymore. At least wait until you calm down a little bit before talking about it, how about that?”

“I… um…”

The gentle touch from behind made Qiu Hui feel a little distracted, but her body unconsciously relaxed under this gentle stimulation.

Maybe Suyo was right. I was really too worried about Aine’s condition and couldn’t think calmly.

Should I go home now, relax, or just take a nap and continue thinking about it tomorrow?

After all, in this situation, even if I force myself to think of a solution, it won't help, right?

After realizing this, Qiu Hui felt fatigue surging from every part of her body.

As Qiu Hui gradually relaxed, Su Shi continued her attack.

"Although I'm just a supporting musician, Akie-senpai has done a lot for this band. I'm really grateful for that."

Su Shi whispered in Qiu Hui's ear.

"However, I would feel bad if I let a senior who is not a formal member bear too much pressure from the band."

"If you feel like you can't handle it anymore, don't push yourself too hard."

“Aine is also a member of the band now, and everyone is worried about her condition. So, it’s okay if you relax a little bit, senpai?”

Suyo whispered in Akie's ear as she continued to caress Akie's back.

"Maybe... it is true..."

Overcome by the sudden feeling of exhaustion, Akie nodded unconsciously.

What Sushi said is right.

After all, I'm not even a formal member.

The relationship with Aine is also... Although we can be considered friends, but...

…I guess he’s just “one of my friends”.

Is it too arrogant to always think that I can solve all the problems by myself?

If you don't keep a good distance, things will become very troublesome...

...When it comes to Aine, maybe I should try to trust other people more?

"Which stop are you planning to get off at, Akiie-senpai?"

Su Shi's voice woke Qiu Hui up from her dream.