Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

I said I would find a solution, but I didn't know what to do. Is it better to just keep practicing?

With this feeling in mind, Aine picked up the guitar again.

……

Play it, why not play it?

……

He took a deep breath, trying to relax himself, and then ordered his fingers to move, but the other party refused to obey.

……

Didn't the senior also say that I just need to do my job well. Even if Le Nai has superb skills, he can't...

…I know this is the case, but my body cannot move according to my thoughts.

Aine fell silent.

It's the same in the UK.

Even if the grades are a little bad, as long as you continue to work hard, you will at least have no problem graduating. Moreover, English conversation skills should improve quickly in situations where there is a language environment and a need to use them.

In other words, even if things don't go well at the start, as long as you are willing to work hard, there will most likely be no problem continuing to study abroad.

I know it is like this.

But I still gave up.

“That’s just who I am…”

Aiyin sighed, put down her guitar in disappointment, and lay back on the sofa, facing the backrest, as if she wanted to bury herself in it.

"...Once I lose my motivation, I can't even do the things I should be able to do."

The cushions of the sofa were in front of her, and at this moment, the world in Aine’s eyes was nothing else.

What should I do next time I practice?

If I continue like this, my guitar playing will only get worse, right?

What would Lixi think? Would she be mean to me?

Where's Deng? Although Deng doesn't care much about my guitar skills, if I quarrel with Li Xi again, she will be very troubled, right?

The same goes for my seniors, who are not even official members, but they are busy with my affairs.

Then there's Su Shi. She was the one who invited me in the first place, and if I don't take it seriously... well.

I always feel very sorry for everyone...

...and Lenai.

Because, just now there seemed to be a moment when I thought: Wouldn’t it be okay if Lenai didn’t join in?

Obviously not. It's not her fault, she just wanted to play guitar.

After all, it's my fault.

I can't treat the difference in level between us with a normal attitude. It's not good for me to think of escaping when encountering difficulties.

We must think of a solution.

I can't go on like this...

Chapter 49: At a loss

The next day, after the last class in the morning.

Qiu Hui probably knew that she was seriously ill.

He was able to pay attention even in math class. This is abnormal no matter how you think about it.

However, it doesn't seem so bad to listen to a class after a long absence.

It’s not that I really plan to work hard in this area, I just simply think that this experience of being a good student for a day is a bit novel.

The bell rang and the math teacher left the classroom. Qiu Hui also put the notebook with some writing on it into her schoolbag.

Lunch break... It's called rest time, but actually there are so many things to do lately that I have no motivation at all.

After all, the final exams were approaching, as was the scheduled release date for the new album, and even the day to end the band's contract.

Not good, are there a little too many deadlines to deal with lately?

The pressure from all sides came from all angles, making Qiu Hui spin like a top.

But just as high-speed rotation allows a gyroscope to maintain its balance, she now seems to have become accustomed to this tense dynamic balance.

So she stood up from her chair, took her lunch box, walked out of the classroom, and stood in front of Takamatsu Deng who had been waiting there for some time.

"...Akie-senpai." Akie looked calm, which made her seem a little nervous.

"Would you like to go to the Astronomy Club together?" Akie asked with a smile, "Let's have lunch as usual."

"...Yeah." Deng nodded.

So the two of them headed towards the astronomy department together.

The team of two people showed a very strong sense of disharmony.

Deng lowered his head slightly, waiting for Qiu Hui to speak and ask the question related to this feeling of disharmony.

It was like visiting a haunted house that I had been to many times before, waiting for the employee dressed as a ghost to suddenly but predictably jump out from a corner...

…but no.

Where is Aine? Why hasn't Aine come yet?

Deng expected that Qiu Hui would definitely ask this question.

But no. No one asked as we walked up the stairs. No one asked as we walked down the hallway.

Even when he arrived at the door of the Astronomy Department and took out the key to open it - he didn't ask.

In the end, it was Deng himself who could no longer tolerate this astonishing sense of incongruity.

After the two of them put down their lunch boxes, she took the initiative to speak, “…Aine went to the cafeteria today.”

Qiu Hui was startled for a moment, then nodded: "Oh, I see. No wonder I didn't see her today."

She then opened her lunch box, scooped up the food slowly, put it into her mouth, and chewed it, as if she was completing a series of production processes.

The light turned to the lunch box, and the contents were as unappetizing as ever.

Despite eating such unappetizing food, Qiu Hui still ate very attentively and seemed to have no intention of talking about anything else.

If Deng hadn't taken the initiative to bring up the topic, perhaps the two of them would have spent the entire lunch hour in silence in this astronomy room.

Aine had always been the best at bringing up topics among the three of them. Now that she was gone, the remaining two suddenly fell into a strange silence.

Until Deng spoke up, this strange situation could no longer continue.

“Aine should still be feeling depressed about what happened yesterday,” Deng whispered.

Qiu Hui didn't say anything, but just nodded to show her agreement.

"I actually don't know what to do." Deng continued, "But sometimes I wonder, if Ryunosuke doesn't join our band, will Aine's problem be solved?"

Qiu Hui stopped scooping food.

She raised her head and met the lamp's eyes.

"So, do you think this would be better?" Qiu Hui asked.

Deng shook his head firmly: "No."

Although this firmness only lasted for a moment, it still clearly showed her position.

"…Why?" Qiu Hui sighed.

Although I told you not to think about Aine all the time, but since it was Deng who brought up the topic, then...

Thinking of this, she decided to discuss the matter more with the lamp in front of her and make it clear.

"I don't know either." Deng shook his head, "I just feel that this is not the way to solve it."

If Lenai joins, the band will be considered to have taken a step forward.

Although he had this feeling, Deng knew that it was just a feeling and he couldn't explain the specific reason.

"Don't you have any other basis? You just think this isn't okay?" Qiu Hui continued to ask.

"Indeed... I'm really sorry." Deng said a little depressed, "Because, I'm not as good at analyzing problems as Akiie-senpai."

"It's okay." Qiu Hui smiled, "It's a big help to know that Deng thinks this way."

She paused for a moment, as if to organize her thoughts, then put down the cutlery and continued speaking towards the lamp.

"I've actually thought about whether it would be better for Aine if we didn't accept Ryuna into the band."

After saying that, Qiu Hui adjusted her glasses nervously.

"What does senior Qiu Hui think?" Deng asked expectantly.

"I... don't know." Qiu Hui shook her head apologetically, "Because I don't think I can analyze this problem calmly."

It’s not that the problem itself is that complicated.

But, because it was related to Aine, it was not easy to draw a conclusion.

"I think now I can understand what Deng felt at that time."

She smiled wryly and tapped the tabletop with her fingers.

"It may seem obvious to outsiders, but the person himself will be unable to make a clear judgment due to the interference of emotions."

She was talking about how Deng once blamed himself for Toyokawa Shoko's leaving.

Deng also realized this, so she nodded slightly.

“I think we should find an opportunity to talk to Aine more and find out what she thinks.” Akie continued, “But it shouldn’t be now. She doesn’t even want to come to the astronomy club room right now, so she must be in a very depressed state. Maybe we should let her calm down a little bit…”

As she was talking, Qiu Hui suddenly felt a sudden sense of fatigue.

She lowered her head, held her chin with her hands, and her eyes were unfocused.

“…But is this really okay? Even though the other person may seem unwilling to make contact, it’s possible that they are actually looking forward to having someone appear before them. If showing up at an inopportune time will make the situation worse, then wouldn’t it also make things worse if you don’t show up when the other person needs you?”

“That’s why I don’t know what to do. No matter what I do, there’s a risk of hurting the other person, even if it’s just to simply ask about the situation…”

At this moment, Qiu Hui was like a bomb that was about to explode.

The lamp in front of her saw it all.

"Akie-senpai..."

Looking at Qiu Hui, whose face was slightly pale in front of him, Deng suddenly had a strong feeling.

Although I don’t know what to do.

But I had to do something.

Chapter 50 It's Like a Broken Heart

After school, inside the STARRY store.

"..."

Goto Ichiri stood up subconsciously and approached Akie.

"Pochi, what's wrong?"

"Nothing..." Ichiri shook his head, "I just feel that today's Akie...how should I put it, there seems to be a kind of friendly atmosphere."

"The atmosphere is very friendly? That's nothing." Akie smiled and tried to continue to maintain the image she usually showed in front of everyone after the band ended.

Although there are no performances scheduled in the near future, it is still necessary to maintain a certain level of practice frequency. This is also the opinion of Qiu Hui herself.

Therefore, since she had no other arrangements and her meeting with Lixi was scheduled for tomorrow, she came to finish the band practice today as usual.

"Akie's atmosphere today is indeed strange," Ryo commented, "It feels even more gloomy than usual. No wonder Pochi feels close to it, this is the attraction between people of the same kind, right?"