Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

Shortly after getting off the train, Akie received a message from Riki.

It was indeed inconvenient now. After getting off the tram, she still felt dizzy.

Maybe Sushi was right, I was a little too nervous about Aine's matter.

So she responded: "I'm glad you're willing to talk to me. It's really not convenient now, how about tomorrow or the day after tomorrow afternoon?"

After receiving the other party's reply expressing approval, Qiu Hui expressed her gratitude politely and then put away her phone.

She then pinched her forearm gently. Although it felt a little painful, it did not make her sober. Sure enough, such descriptions were deceptive.

We can't go on like this... Right now I have some polishing work to do, and I have to go to the library this weekend to discuss finalizing the band's contract.

Just as I am not the only friend of Aine, I also have things other than Aine to care about.

It's unhealthy to spend so much energy on her alone...

Qiu Hui walked towards her residence in a daze.

The sudden relaxation after a long period of tension made her feel as if she was "aware of her own fatigue."

It is said that the noise and vibration of public transportation can have a hypnotic effect to some extent.

At least Qiu Hui did think that she sometimes felt sleepier on public transportation.

Therefore, when she left the tram station and returned to her residence, she was somewhat more sober than when she was on the tram.

It's still some time before my usual bedtime...I'll do something before going to sleep.

I just happened to have some free time, so I can do some polishing work on the new work. I think now it should be the stage where the "rival" character and the protagonist meet and clash, and on the surface they have broken off their friendship, but in fact they still miss their old relationship...

So Qiu Hui turned on the computer and started working.

However, rather than really wanting to work, it is more like just diverting attention in a way that can generate positive returns incidentally.

“… You can’t keep thinking about Aine all the time, right?”

Qiu Hui sighed. Just as Su Shi said just now, the so-called friendship should be controlled to a scale that makes both parties feel comfortable. If one side gives unilaterally, it is simply the same as forced buying and selling, right?

What's more, I have other work to do and it is impossible for me to spend all my energy on this one thing.

So she turned her attention to the glowing computer screen in front of her.

The sound of hands tapping on keyboards.

The cooling fan makes a humming sound.

There is also a slight noise from the air conditioner.

At this moment, Qiu Hui suddenly felt a strong sense of disobedience.

Something seems to be missing...

Some things that were almost becoming routine did not happen.

Just like when a dryer or other household appliance that makes a constant noise is suddenly turned off, it creates a moment of extraordinary silence.

Qiu Hui couldn't remember what it was for the moment, so she just continued typing on the keyboard to finish her work.

Time passed hour by hour.

I was feeling bored so I put on headphones and played some electronic music with cheerful beats and tones.

It feels like the constant firing of a laser gun from an old-school sci-fi movie.

...Oh, that's right.

When the clock struck eleven, Qiu Hui suddenly realized that something was wrong.

It seems that Aine didn't come to chat with me.

No matter whether it is text messages, social software, or phone calls, there is no such thing in any form.

"……Yeah."

Akie felt as if something was taken away from her.

It is the incomprehensible feeling of emptiness that follows when something that should have existed is taken away.

“…I see.”

Qiu Hui increased the speed of typing.

Well, here, let the antagonist character Ena express her feelings about the images of her past performance with the protagonist Ayumi.

Hmm... and... yes. After all, according to the setting, the protagonist fell out with his old friends in pursuit of commercialization. The first half of this volume has already written about the process of finding teammates to form a new band, so how about a promotional advertisement that makes Jiangna notice all the people in the new band appear together?

Try to put that feeling of "the person you care about so much is doing well even without you" into your writing.

As Qiu Hui typed on the keyboard, she felt like she was about to melt into her seat.

The current situation is really like a fountain of inspiration. The inspiration that I usually have to rack my brains to squeeze out is now gushing out like tap water.

But...if you think about it from another angle, maybe the reason I’m writing so smoothly right now is because I’ve suffered severe setbacks in other areas.

It is probably because I am experiencing similar emotions at this moment that I can write so smoothly.

Qiu Hui thought to herself with self-mockery.

When it comes to literary techniques, or the ability to construct plots and commercial gimmicks, I can’t really say that I’m that good at it; the previous work seemed to sell well because of reasons like “the emotions were portrayed very sincerely”.

How should I put it? It feels like cheating. It's too easy to just pour out my thoughts and get paid for doing something like venting.

Whenever I think about Aine, I feel like I can naturally come up with a lot of tangled descriptions and rhetoric.

Although it was a great help from a writing perspective...it also undoubtedly meant that my concern for the other person had reached a rather dangerous level.

So... it's better not to do anything for now.

Qiu Hui finally made up her mind.

Aiyin didn't come to see me tonight, which means that she doesn't seem to need me to do anything for her anymore.

I had done almost everything I could do in the store that afternoon, and even if I approached her now, I wouldn't be confident that I could provide any more help.

Aine is a very considerate person. Maybe she noticed that I was helpless in the current situation, so she also gently chose to avoid me.

It might be a better option to let her sort out her feelings and think about the current situation calmly.

Qiu Hui sighed.

...Yes. It's better for me to...not bother her now.

Someone as lively and positive as her will definitely find a way to cheer herself up even if she falls into depression temporarily. It's just a matter of time.

And just as Su Shi said, there are actually many friends who can help her, so it doesn't matter even if they don't need me, not to mention...

…I didn’t want to talk to Aine just because I wanted to help her.

I just wanted to chat with her out of my own personal desire.

When Qiu Hui realized this fact, she felt an inexplicable bitterness in her heart.

So, it’s better not to bother her anymore, right?

The only response she got was the sound of typing on the keyboard.

Chapter 48 Escape

"Hmm... Is that so? Or...?"

Chihaya Aine was plucking the guitar strings by imitating the instructional video displayed on her tablet computer.

The guitar made a sound like a half-dead groan.

Wow, no progress at all. It's even worse than before.

She took down the guitar with a bitter face and put it on the ground.

After all, no matter how much you practice, you can't become like that kid...

Just thinking about it made her feel like she was about to forget everything she had learned.

“…We can’t keep going like this.” Aine sat back on the sofa and stared at the guitar on the floor in a daze, “Even if I can’t be as good as Ryuna, I shouldn’t be worse than my previous level, right?”

Although she tried to encourage herself like this, she realized that this kind of self-comfort didn't seem to have much effect.

The confidence in the guitar that she had built up with great difficulty was once again shattered by Lenai's attack.

Although she also knew that she shouldn't be like this.

Even if her strength is really so strong that I cannot match her, it won’t affect me from doing what I should do, Aine thought.

Just like my senior said, it’s okay if my level is a little bit bad for rhythm guitar, and people won’t abandon me just because I’m bad…

...But, it's really strange, everyone's tolerance makes me feel even worse.

Aine adjusted her posture, lying on the sofa and curling up.

Because I want to attract attention.

It’s not enough to be “qualified”, but it’s the desire to be “excellent” in everyone’s eyes.

I want everyone to praise my performance from the bottom of their hearts without hesitation, rather than hesitating for a long time and then giving a perfunctory evaluation like "it's okay" out of politeness.

Now that I think about it, this idea was really arrogant. Why did I think this way in the beginning?

Aine closed her eyes. As expected, it was because of what happened in junior high school.

As the student council president, he led everyone to form a band and performed at the school festival, which received everyone's praise.

It was because of what happened at that time that the first thing I thought of after transferring here was to form a band with everyone.

How should I put it? It felt like I had underestimated the student band.

Come to think of it, Lena looks like she's only a junior high school student... If I had to say, she was in the same grade as me when we performed on stage.

Compared to a fool like me, she is the real genius...

Thinking of this, she suddenly sat up from the sofa.

My eyes couldn't help but turn to the suitcases stacked next to the sofa.

The two suitcases were still new, and their smooth surfaces reflected the light slightly.

There is a label with English writing on the box, which is the mark attached by the airport when it was checked in.

"…Same as last time."

Aine smiled bitterly and laid back on the sofa.

I seem to have done the same thing again. I set my expectations too unrealistically and gave up as soon as I faced the real difficulties...

“I’ve already escaped from England and returned to Japan. Now that things have come to this, where else can I escape to…”

Aiyin smiled bitterly and closed her eyes, and something that happened at some unknown time suddenly appeared in her mind.

I seemed to be chatting with my senior at the time... For some reason, he suddenly brought up topics like "failures I've experienced in the past."

Although I said "no" at that time, it was actually a lie.

After all, the reason why I transferred here during this period and met my seniors was because... I couldn't hold on any longer in the UK.

I thought my English was pretty good and I took some temporary English conversation courses, so I had no problem with daily communication. As a result, my self-confidence swelled to the point where I would show off to my junior high school classmates from time to time.

After spending half a semester there, I realized that I couldn’t keep up with the course progress at all. I was always left out during group discussions, and my presentations were a mess…

...and ended up escaping back from there.

He said he wanted to start over in Yugaoka.

But now the same mistake has been made again when it comes to forming a band.

“This is not good…” Aine moaned, “Who should I discuss this kind of embarrassing matter with?”

I don't want anyone to see this embarrassing scene.

"Senior... after all, this isn't possible."

Aine curled up on the sofa.

I can only figure it out myself.