Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

I have other things to do this time in Tokyo.

First, I have to visit Professor Kaburagi's laboratory and meet with my classmates who went to the University of Tokyo. Secondly, my father has arranged a short-term internship for me. There are still many things to do in a newly listed company. There will also be a dinner in a few days. Since I am here, maybe I should also meet with my father's long-term partners...

Haruna tried to distract herself with these topics.

But she quickly realized that this wasn't going to work.

These trips were arranged by her father in order to make full use of her time after he realized that she had to go to Tokyo during the summer vacation.

On top of that, there was another reason why she had to come to Tokyo...

"I went through so much trouble just to see her condition with my own eyes. I couldn't even say a word..."

Haruna stared at the summary results displayed in the background with empty eyes.

“…What am I doing?”

she muttered.

"Hello, I'm listening."

The sudden sound of a voice in her ear startled Haruna. She looked around in panic, trying to find out who was watching her.

But this ridiculous state lasted less than half a second. She soon realized that it was probably the response of the voice recognition function of the in-vehicle intelligent system.

"... Stupid thing."

Haruna cursed helplessly, then took a long breath and tried to calm her restless heartbeat.

"..."

The data scrolling on the screen of the laptop in front of her seemed to be silently mocking her.

She was well aware that this wanton theft of personal privacy was in fact a complete crime.

But even so, this is still a very bad behavior.

The calm mind and thoughtful approach that he had developed in his studies and work so far were of no use at all when it came to matters related to Qiu Hui.

I shouldn't have done this...

Facing the computer screen, Haruna felt as if she had torn a bloody piece from her own heart with her own hands.

In fact, even her father didn't know about this matter. It was completely Haruna's own decision.

From coming up with ideas, to consulting relevant professionals, to planning and funding, all the steps were done by her alone.

Since I'm a bad sister who would do such a thing...it's no wonder that Akie avoids me.

But the more she distanced herself from me, the stronger the urge I had to control everything about her.

I have decided never to interfere directly in her life again, and never to contact any new friends she makes through her own efforts.

So... since we have decided not to do anything...

At least as compensation, can I continue to look at her quietly?

Haruna smiled bitterly and allowed herself to sink deeper and deeper into the sofa.

At the same time, some inappropriate fragments of the past flashed through her mind.

When Togawa Haruna was just old enough to remember, her father divorced her mother and remarried soon after.

She later asked her father about this matter, but all she got were some explanations that had become pale and powerless after more than ten years.

For Haruna, who could barely speak clearly at the time, that incident had only one meaning in her eyes.

That is when her mother left and never appeared in her life again.

Her second mother was a gentle, well-educated person.

The only downside is that not only is she a foreigner, she's also always busy with work, so she rarely appears in front of Haruna.

Although she hadn't made any mistakes in her time with Haruna...

...But correspondingly, she did not make enough correct efforts to bridge the natural gap between the child and his stepmother.

Therefore, in Togawa Haruna's subconscious mind, she may have never regarded the other party as her mother, but just as a somewhat friendly stranger, nothing more.

A few years later, Haruna had a younger brother. However, due to various considerations, he did not live in the same family with Haruna for too long. Instead, he was sent to a foreign country to live with his mother's family when he was a little more sensible.

After spending the first few years of her life alone because both her parents were busy with work, Haruna finally had a younger sister.

And this time, she watched her younger sister grow up little by little.

"……well."

Haruna could probably understand why she had such a morbid obsession with Akie.

However, just knowing the ins and outs is actually meaningless.

Be it childhood trauma, transference, attachment or something like that.

Haruna, who is now a monk, is also well versed in a variety of psychological terms.

Perhaps she could really rely on these mediocre skills to examine her own thoughts as much as possible, and pretend to give herself a psychological diagnosis report...

But she knew it was meaningless.

Even if we fully understand the cause of a disease, if we can't find a cure, we can only watch the symptoms unfold.

Perhaps the only difference is the feeling of despair that becomes more evident because of knowing that one is powerless.

"..."

Just then, she remembered the look on Yutenji Wakamu's face when she hung up the phone in a panic but excited manner.

What did she say? "It's been a big help?"

Thinking of this, Haruna gave a bitter smile that was half sarcastic and half sympathetic.

She actually accepted help from someone like me in this form...

...Doesn't this mean that she intends to stand on the same side as me, an incurable and unforgivable sinner?

Haruna managed to straighten herself up, picked up the drinking water on the bar, and took a big gulp like an office worker drowning his sorrows in alcohol.

She hadn't lied.

No matter who the other person is, as long as Qiu Hui herself is willing to approve, she will not hesitate to give her blessings.

She also had no intention of playing the role of a so-called vicious mother-in-law, as was done in some romance novels, and deliberately arranging tests for her future son-in-law.

But...Yutenji-san, she did accept the help from me in such a twisted and unbearable way.

Can she really resolve the knot left by Qiu Hui at that time?

Haruna felt that there might be little hope.

Just then, I heard the sound of the elevator door opening.

Haruna, realizing that she had arrived at her destination, immediately sat up straight and put on an elegant and proper smile.

She put away her belongings, got out of the car with light and smooth steps, and also smiled and nodded at the driver.

Then, she assumed her usual attitude and walked into the door of the hotel where she was scheduled to stay on this trip.

The time for sentimentality is over.

Chapter 117 I met her while thinking about you

after a while.

Togawa Aie was sitting in the dining area of ​​the convenience store, scrolling through her phone idly while waiting for Ryo and Ichiri's responses.

After deciding to take promotional photos today, she also brought with her the small props she would use to play Aki Ryoko.

Although there is no need to hide her identity from Deng anymore, Akie feels that she should continue to maintain the image of Akirako in public occasions.

Qiu Hui looked calm as she waited quietly while thinking about the location for the promotional photos.

To her, it was just an ordinary moment on the first day of summer vacation.

She just quietly waited for their responses, unaware of what had happened or was going to happen.

Yili's reply was brief, simply saying "OK".

To be honest, Akie didn't really care about the literal meaning of Ichiri's reply.

Because she felt that, based on what she had learned during this period of time, since Hongxia and Kita had already expressed their agreement in the group chat, even if Yili did have a different opinion, she might not have the courage to express it against the atmosphere.

Although Pochi probably won't refuse something with such a small impact...but I'd better ask her opinion in person, Akie thought.

As for the cool...

...Liang hasn't replied yet, maybe he really hasn't woken up yet.

Since she didn't want to sit in the convenience store all the time, Qiu Hui decided to go to STARRY and wait for everyone.

On the way, Aiyin called at this time.

"Senior!" She said straight to the point on the phone, "I'm already out. If I'm going to move with everyone who's finished the band this time, can I go to STARRY and wait first?"

"I happen to be planning to go there too, so let's meet up there."

“I understand!” Aine sounded very excited. “This time, Deng-chan will also be coming, so it will be like the last study session, right?”

"Yeah, but this time is a lot easier than last time." Akie was also in a relaxed mood. "After all, although there is a schedule for taking promotional photos, I don't think that will take up much time. Instead, I think we will take the opportunity to travel around more."

“That’s right… ah, that’s right!”

Aine seemed to realize a problem that had been overlooked.

"Senior, are you 'Aki E' or 'Aki Ryoko' this time?"

Aine's question made Akie laugh. This was a problem, but after going to the planetarium with Deng, this problem that had been lingering since the first time they met was solved.

“…All of them.” She replied.

“All of them?” Aine asked in confusion, “So, Deng already knows?”

"Well, she already knows." Akie, who had already reached a subtle understanding with Deng on the issue of Akieko, said with a smile, "That was just an idea I came up with at the moment, and it's not realistic to keep it from her."

“Oh, congratulations to both of you.” Aine responded.

This plain sentence made Qiu Hui start to think wildly.

What does Aiyin think about the fact that I privately resolved Akirako's identity issue with Deng?

Is she really just congratulating us? Is she a little...jealous?

In fact, Qiu Hui knew that she probably wouldn't.

But, out of Akie's own selfish desires, she hoped that Aine would be a little jealous... and care a little more about the fact that "she was not there at the time."

"..."

Not long after, Qiu Hui hung up the phone and realized that her thoughts seemed to have gone a little off track.

Aine should still only consider me as one of her many friends, and so does Deng. The evidence is that last time Deng invited Aine to the planetarium, Aine did not turn down other invitations and went directly to Deng.

...But then again, even if the party with a better relationship really did invite you, wouldn't it be a bit too rude to turn down the invitation from the party with a lesser relationship?

Just like this time, I and everyone in the band had an appointment with Aine, so instead of finding an excuse to turn one of them down, we should think of a way to bring the two sides together.

Qiu Hui thought as she walked forward.

Her attention was almost entirely focused on thinking about the problem, so she hardly paid attention to where she was.

...However, it is not always possible to have the best of both worlds.

Rather, in most cases one of the parties must be rejected.

Qiu Hui was immersed in this imaginary scenario, and she began to discuss involuntarily what choice she should make in this situation.

If you can't have the best of both worlds and you have to refuse one of them, then you have to refuse the one with whom the relationship is not so good.

So the question is, among the people who left the band and Aine, who do I have a better relationship with?

Qiu Hui felt an inexplicable shudder. This question seemed a little hard to think about.

From an objective point of view, as partners in the same band, my relationship with everyone who has ended the band is definitely closer than that with Aine, who is just an ordinary friend.

But, Aine and I are in the same school, so from that perspective...

Thinking of this, Qiu Hui shook her head vigorously. This is a complete excuse. Being in the same school is not an important factor in making the relationship good. It is better to say that before being arranged by the agency to play in a band, I didn't know any classmates at all, right?