Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

He gave up his apparently bright future in pursuit of the so-called writer's lifestyle and fell out with his family.

After going around in circles, I found that the results of my determination were not as sweet as I had imagined.

But even so, I don't feel any regret. I know that my goal is completely different from what I imagined, but for some inexplicable reasons, I still plan to continue on this wrong path.

Because I also don't like that path, which is correct both in theory and in practice.

He wants this and that, but he doesn't want this or that.

Thinking of this, Togawa Akeie felt that perhaps it was time to make a temporary summary of her ideas.

“To put it simply, the reason why I wanted to use youth as a topic is to express this ubiquitous sense of ‘yes and no’,” she concluded.

"That's amazing..." Goto Ichiri exclaimed, but it was not clear whether she was sincere or just being polite. "I feel like the questions Aki and I are thinking about are completely in a different dimension."

"So, Akie, what exactly did you go through to come to this realization?" Ryo pointed out, "I think if you want to use lyrics to discuss a certain experience, it's best to explain the cause and effect."

"You've made me feel troubled by saying that," Akie admitted, "Because, I don't think I've experienced anything big worth mentioning so far..."

...Wait, you haven't experienced this?

Just like a pair of wires suddenly connected, a dazzling spark suddenly burst out. Qiu Hui felt that she had grasped the crux of the problem as if she had suddenly realized it.

"Yes! That's it!"

She stood up suddenly from her chair, walked excitedly to the whiteboard, and picked up the marker.

"I think the source of this contradictory feeling in youth is... that we have experienced too little and thought too much!"

Qiu Hui wrote illegible lines on the whiteboard and then quickly erased them.

"Ah... yes! That's it! There are so many words, lyrics, videos, animations, and music that talk about youth..."

"…But the question is how much of this stuff was created by the adolescent boy himself?"

“Not much at all!”

Qiu Hui simply dropped the marker, turned around, and looked at everyone with eyes filled with passion.

"For an anime about the life of high school girls, the voice actors are all working professionals who have been working in agencies and the entertainment industry for many years; the staff are all young and middle-aged salarymen, and as for the director and the original author, they may be old men in their forties or above!"

"Because adolescents do too little and think too much, they don't know how to express their ideas even if they have them."

“So, all the works in this world that reflect on the concept of so-called ‘youth’ are created by a group of adults who no longer have youth, based on their experiences and imaginations, right?”

Akie excitedly clapped her hands on the table, almost scaring Goto Ichiri.

"The contradictions of youth come from the mismatch between experience and reflection... No, maybe we can simply conclude that for youth, what really matters is not experience or experience, but pure "education"!"

"Whether it's the teachings in school or the worldviews shown in movies or cartoons, they are essentially a kind of 'education', a kind of indoctrination that the recipients have no way to correct and can only choose to accept or reject!"

"From home to classroom to endless electronic screens, such a small living space and such poor experience have made the so-called 'youth' completely unable to actively filter the 'indoctrination' they receive."

"For this reason, youth is a concept constructed purely by external influences. It has no personality and no shape, it is a dark chaos that cannot be analyzed; its only ability is to imitate the shape of others, to make itself a clumsy reflection of some great existence outside the mirror..."

As if all her energy had been drained by the attack of the Muse, Togawa Aie sat down dejectedly.

“…Damn it, but how on earth can I write lyrics for something like this?”

Reality dealt her a heavy blow as she had just returned from the world of fantasy.

Chapter 42: Inspiration for Lyrics

This time, Qiu Hui's behavior was also very close to her usual style.

A brief burst of passion arises under impulse, and when the impulse subsides, one falls into disillusionment.

"…Sorry, did I say a lot of weird things again?" Qiu Hui lay weakly on the table.

"It's okay! I don't think what Akie said was anything weird!"

Unexpectedly, the person who expressed clear affirmation to Akie at this time was Goto Ichiri, who had been acting timidly since just now.

"Actually, I think... what Akihime said... that... truth, yes, actually makes sense!"

Goto Ichiri was almost forcing himself to speak, overcoming his stage fright while trying to organize his words.

"Everyone always says we should do this or that, and we do this or that according to the trend or the teachings of adults...but they never think about why, right?"

"Akie mentioned 'education'... I can't think of such a mature and heavy word. But I think this feeling is like..."

Goto also came to the whiteboard, picked up a marker, and began to write his own opinions.

"My ears are filled with so many other people's opinions..."

Having written this, she paused, crossed out the last phrase, and revised the entire line of lyrics.

"Despite so many breathing sounds"

She nodded slightly and mustered up the courage to add the next sentence.

"It's strange that the world itself is so quiet"

Two neatly written lines on the whiteboard caught Qiu Hui's attention.

"...Not bad." She nodded. "Is it a bit like the lyrics?"

She stood next to Goto, pointed at the word "world" and asked, "This 'world'... refers to the 'world' in the individual sense, right? No matter how many 'breathing sounds' there are in the outside world, they have no connection with the inner self of the individual. No matter how many sounds from the outside world you listen to, your own 'world' will always be silent... Is this the feeling?"

Goto's eyes were evasive, and he seemed not used to such serious questioning: "... Why did it suddenly become like a language class? I, I don't know... I feel that Akie understands the meaning of this passage better than I do..."

"I don't really understand either," Qiu Hui said with a smile, "I was just describing my feelings casually."

She smiled and nodded at the two lyrics she had come up with on the spur of the moment.

"Pochi, it seems that you might have an unexpected talent for writing lyrics. If that's the case, then there's no problem..."

Qiu Hui shook her head in self-mockery.

"…If I were the only one to write the lyrics, the final product would probably be filled with grandiose imagery and wouldn't be able to be performed properly."

After saying that, she looked at Liang.

"Can you please give me a deadline?"

Liang spread his hands indifferently: "I don't mind. But considering the overall situation, the sooner the better."

"The sooner the better?" Qiu Hui thought, "If that's the case..."

The time you can stay in the LIVEHOUSE is limited, and you must move to another place once the business hours are over.

"Pochi, do you have time after leaving here?" Akie asked, "Since the sooner the better, I hope to make the most of my time. After all, we are the first link in the whole process, and it will cause trouble for everyone if it takes too long."

"Eh? Um, um, I'm sorry, I can't go home too late..." Goto lowered his head embarrassedly.

"In that case... Well, although it may be a little intrusive, can I come to your house later to continue discussing the lyrics?"

Togawa Akeie came to the above conclusion naturally and made the request without batting an eyelid.

In her opinion, since the other party had to go home early and no one would ask her how long she stayed outside, the most logical conclusion was that she followed Goto Ichiri to her house to continue discussing the lyrics.

"what?"

Goto Ichiri seemed to be petrified in an instant.

"Go, I, I, I, I, I, home?"

Goto Ichiri was stuck like an old and dilapidated video player.

Akie looked at Goto with some disappointment. She seemed to be in a difficult situation.

"...Isn't it possible? That's right, we just met not long ago after all."

She lowered her head somewhat embarrassedly and began to reflect on herself.

...After all, I had stayed at a classmate's house before. Maybe the other party was too gentle at that time, which led to my misjudgment of the nature of "going to someone else's house".

"If that doesn't work, then..."

"don't want!"

"what?"

Akie looked at Goto Ichiri who suddenly shouted in confusion.

Don't mean...don't come? Or don't "don't come"?

“Please… please… please come over! It’s okay! Really! But if you’re coming over, please wait in the living room first. My room isn’t cleaned yet and it’s a mess. There might be an indescribable smell that might make you feel terrible, so please wait a little while until I finish cleaning before coming over…”

Now Goto Ichiri is like a video player fast-forwarded three times.

After finishing the long string of words, she looked at Qiu Hui with eyes full of eager expectation while breathing heavily.

"…So, does that mean I can go over?"

"Yes!" Goto closed his eyes and clasped his hands together, "Please!"

...Oh my God! Mom and Dad! Sister! Did you see it?

Just now someone took the initiative to ask to go to my, Goto Ichiri's, house!

Staying over at someone else's house is definitely a sign of being a "good friend", right?

An experience that I have never had in my life so far... Is this moment finally coming to me, Goto Ichiri?

"...Goto-kun, you're laughing so strangely."

Now it was Qiu Hui who looked embarrassed.

"So, Qiu Hui," Liang said slowly, "You don't have to always feel like you've done something weird."

"In our band, this kind of thing is very common," she concluded with a half-smile.

"I understand." Qiu Hui also smiled as if a burden had been lifted off her shoulders.

Although she still couldn't figure out the specific reason, she suddenly felt a sense of relief when she saw Goto who was suddenly getting carried away.

The end of the band is a place where it's okay to behave a little bit out of line.

“…Thank you.”

"Why thank you?" Liang asked.

"I've said this before, right? I'm a person who 'pursues things I don't even believe in'."

Qiu Hui lowered her head somewhat embarrassedly.

"But after coming here, I feel like... everyone seems to be willing to try to believe in something that even I don't believe in. Even if it's just for this, I want to thank everyone."

Liang nodded, still with that half-smile on his face.

"It seems that you are indeed a vulgar and hypocritical person."

She looked thoughtfully at the messy whiteboard.

"Under this hypocritical vulgarity..."

"...You also have a very emotional side."

Chapter 43: I'll be at your doorstep soon

After that, everyone discussed separately for a while, and finally gathered again to discuss the results in the last little time.

"Senior-senpai!" Kita's eyes lit up, "I found a very suitable simplified version of the cover sheet! I think this one should work!"

"I think that's fine. How about we all practice according to this score from now on?" Hong Xia suggested.

"It's good to be able to settle down." Liang nodded, "I don't care."

"Well, how is the lyrics for the original song going for Pochi-chan?"

“Ahaha, how should I put it? We’ve got a rough outline, right? But I feel like there’s still a lot to discuss about the details.” Goto Ichiri scratched his hair sheepishly, a smile that made him forget himself. “So, Akie needs to come to my house and continue discussing this with me…”

"Is that so? That sounds great! But are you going to stay at Pochi's house?" Kita asked, "Is it okay with the parents?"

"Parents?" Qiu Hui was stunned by this question.

"…My family doesn't really care about this kind of thing."

That's the only answer I could give.

"That's great. My family is actually quite strict about this..." Kita seemed a little disappointed, "Otherwise I would actually like to go with you."