Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

Togawa Aie didn't know whether her current symptoms could be classified into this situation.

But she had no idea how to write the third volume... This was something she knew very well now.

"Logically speaking, I don't lack material for this kind of emotional entanglement now..."

She smiled with a hint of self-mockery.

But this is just a joke after all. This series of inexplicable things that happened between me and everyone... It seems that I can't just use it as material for arbitrary adaptation.

After all... I am different from the lamp.

I don’t know why I suddenly thought of Deng at this time, but I still thought of her after all.

What she wrote was the cry of her heart...but I am different.

I just design a suitable and pleasing plot based on the audience's feelings.

After turning off the monitor screen, Qiu Hui stood up.

She looked out the window. As usual, there were no stars in the night sky of Tokyo today.

How about ending today like this? She looked out the window at the dull and boring night sky and sighed helplessly.

I have spent the entire evening since I got home trying in vain to come up with any interesting ideas, but I still haven't been able to come up with anything.

High reviews for editors, in turn, mean high expectations. If you can’t produce a finished product that matches that, then…

Togawa Akee felt a strange sense of dizziness. Oh my god. Now I even envy those authors who were forced to finish one or two volumes due to poor performance, which is actually equivalent to chopping off the middle. If you are asked to finish, it means that you don't need to continue...

...Ahem, wait, what am I thinking about?

Qiu Hui slapped her cheeks hard. The crisp sound and a slight stinging sensation brought her back from her endless delusion.

Idiot! If the work you write is not satisfactory, the sales will drop sharply at best. But if the sales are cut in half, then you will gain nothing!

She shook her head vigorously to clear the distracting thoughts from her mind.

However, looking at the computer desk and keyboard in front of her, and feeling the swelling and pain in her joints and tendons, Qiu Hui felt that perhaps it was time to stop.

Inspiration is not like water in a sponge. Even if you squeeze it hard, it may not come out.

"Why don't we go to bed first... eh?"

Just when I was about to go to bed, I suddenly received a message from someone.

"have you slept?"

...What a good way to use a small fish. Akie almost laughed out loud.

I feel like people who start a conversation with others with this kind of lines generally won’t have any good results…

But after seeing clearly who sent the message, Qiu Hui, who had originally felt a little funny, immediately felt a little frightened.

It’s the plain world.

"She went to bed early during the training camp, why is she still texting me in the middle of the night?"

Qiu Hui muttered to herself and began to reply to the messages.

"I didn't sleep because I was busy at work until late. What can I do for you?"

Anyway, I responded in a very conventional way.

Before Qiu Hui could think about what Su Shi's intention was, she sent several messages in succession.

"Can't sleep."

"I don't know why, but I really want to talk to someone."

"I'm sorry to bother you so late at night."

"Maybe our relationship isn't that good. If you're ready to take a break, you can just leave me alone."

"But, there are still some things I want to talk to you about."

"Besides you, I don't know who else to turn to."

"I'm sorry. It's so late."

"..."

As a result, Qiu Hui had an urge to talk to Su Shi.

If I leave it like this, I feel like something might... uh, go wrong, right?

"I'm fine. I just happen to have insomnia recently, so I'm often busy until late."

Qiu Hui replied. Anyway, it's better to play it down here, so as not to stimulate the other party's guilt or something?

"I'm not feeling sleepy right now. Since Su Shi wants to talk to someone, why don't we just chat?"

Chapter 20: Night Talk with Su Shi

Yes, since Su Shi wanted to chat, Qiu Hui thought that maybe she should talk to her.

If someone needs help, respond as best you can.

What exactly should this mentality be considered, a sense of responsibility?

No, absolutely not.

So, is it some kind of self-satisfying behavior designed to have fun?

Maybe not. At least Qiu Hui didn't think she could get much immediate satisfaction from it.

The motivation is unclear, and the meaning is unclear. But even so, there is still an urge to spend my time "solving problems for others."

I believe that doing so will earn others' favor and trust. So in order to gain everyone's recognition, I have been working hard.

But… I may no longer lack the “recognition” from others. But even so, I still do my best to meet the demands of others in a compulsive way.

I believe in the value of equal exchange. If I am trying to give my all, it means there must be something I want to exchange for.

If “that thing” isn’t something as superficial as liking or approving, then I want to know what it is.

"I also have something I want to discuss with Suyo."

So, Qiu Hui replied like this.

Yes. This is not out of pure, selfless motivation to help others. I never believed that I would be such a person.

Perhaps Su Shi and I have the same idea. We both just want to use conversation as a means to help ourselves understand some things.

Su Shi on the other side quickly replied.

She is probably staring at her phone screen right now.

"Is it really possible?"

"Very good……"

"I don't know how to thank you. I'm bothering you even though it's so late."

Although it was just text, Qiu Hui could almost read Su Shi's surprised, eager and nervous expression from the message sent by the other party.

If it was the previous Su Shi, she would probably try to cover it up while saying these words in an unnatural voice, right?

I always feel that this is not a good idea, so I should try to calm the other person down first.

There's no need to make Su Shi feel that I'm appeasing her. I need to make her realize that we're just having a normal discussion.

This way, it would be easier to ask her "what I want to know", Qiu Hui thought.

So she started typing.

"You don't need to apologize for this. In the dead of night, in a place like the bedroom that is isolated from the outside world, perhaps your thoughts will naturally deviate in a strange direction and produce emotional thoughts. At this time, it is normal to want to communicate with others. It is not a demanding request."

After sending the message, Qiu Hui changed her mind and added another sentence.

"In fact, I often have this thought. So I really want a friend who is willing to listen to my complaints in the middle of the night."

It might be more convincing if I include my own personal experience. And, I have indeed thought about it, so it is also part of honest communication.

"So you think so too, Qiu Hui?" Su Shi replied.

"I think everyone has experienced this to some extent. After all, people actually have a lot in common."

After completing the input, Qiu Hui sat on the bed, stood up the pillow to use as a backrest, then leaned against the head of the bed, pulled up the quilt, and prepared for a long battle.

Although it's late, I'm not sleepy at all.

It is already difficult to fall asleep if you stay up too late, and with the influence of the mobile phone, Qiu Hui has already made a very pessimistic estimate of her sleep quality tonight.

Since I can’t sleep anyway, I might as well just chat as long as I want…

She picked up the phone again and saw Su Shi's reply.

"Then do you think I'm the kind of friend you're talking about, Akihime?"

Such a straightforward statement, totally unlike something that Su Shi would say...

Thinking back to her previous performance in the band, Qiu Hui couldn't help but feel quite worried about her current mental state.

Since she started the band, Akie's ability to perceive other people's mental states has become stronger and stronger. Comforting others and making them feel better has gradually become a hobby for her.

Having said that, she actually knew that she was not good at deliberately comforting people.

So in the end, it is best to tell the truth.

"My criteria for judging friends have actually changed significantly." Akie answered truthfully, "In the past, I don't know if Su Shi could meet that standard."

“But now, I think it definitely counts as such.”

Su Shi on the other side of the screen remained silent for a while, as if digesting the meaning of this sentence.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"Even though you were the absent-minded employer and I was the paid support musician, we still went through so much together in that band."

As Qiu Hui typed, she organized her thoughts in her mind.

Just like what she said when I first met Aine.

The so-called "making friends" is actually a very simple thing.

"I think this is enough for me to consider Su Shi as a friend, at least a potential friend," Akie concluded.

"But I lied to you."

Su Shi replied quickly. This message was sent almost as soon as Qiu Hui sent the previous message.

"You didn't lie to me." Qiu Hui replied calmly, "Although you concealed the real motive for forming a band, it was not something that needed to be revealed to a support staff member."

“But I lied to everyone, and I also lied to Aine!”

"That's true, so you should apologize to them in person. I told you so a long time ago."

The last time I saw Su Shi, she didn't seem to be so frank.

Was this also due to the mood swings at night? Qiu Hui thought as she clicked the screen.

"But this is not the topic of our conversation. The band's affairs are separate and the protagonist now is you, and only you."

Su Shi on the other side of the screen was silent for a long time.

"Aren't you here to persuade me to return to the band for Aine?" she asked.

"Of course not. I think Sushi is probably confused about something right now, so I'm here to help you solve your confusion."

"But, if it's not because of Aine and the band, then why?"

Sushi seemed to not understand at all.

It was as if she had never realized that she had an identity other than "band member".

"Two reasons. First, Su Shi is my friend. Second, I am also confused about something."

Togawa Akie replied calmly.

"I want to hear your thoughts. Maybe this will help solve my confusion."

Yes, this is still part of an equal exchange.

"Akie, are you also confused?"

"yes."