The goal of life is to break up all couples

Besides, if even Matsueda Azusa can grow, then others can certainly change as well.

So Matsueda Azusa asked bluntly and candidly, "If that's really the case, then why would you do such a thing as to ignore me and the things that I value—and the things that I thought you valued—and treat them like trash?"

Facing Matsueda Azusa who questioned her, Shiina Riki had a lot to say. She finally seized this rare opportunity, but the words were stuck in her throat and turned into fragmented smoke for a moment.

Looking at Matsueda Azusa, Shiina Riki suddenly felt as if he was back to the time when he had not yet quit Crychic, and tears could not be suppressed from flowing down.

She hurriedly reached out and wiped away her tears. "That's not the case, Zi. I... want to explain from the beginning. It's... a very long story. Are you willing to listen?"

Songzhi Zi was silent for a moment: "You talk, I'm listening."

Shiina Riki took a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself down. After a while, he finally spoke, "Azusa, actually... in the beginning of Crychic, I didn't have a very deep impression of you. I just regarded you as Toyokawa Shoko's boyfriend, an ordinary member of the band."

"But everything changed the day Toyokawa Shoko left the group. When I saw you crying alone in the rehearsal room, you know... it was like I was seeing myself."

Wiping away tears, she slowly spoke, telling the story with sincerity: "Because I seem to see my own reflection in you, I can't help but say that even if it's just us, we can still continue to form a band."

"A talentless mediocre person like me can never get other people's attention no matter how hard I try. No matter what, others will only say - ah, that's Shiina Maki's sister, right? I will always be someone else's accessory, with no place for myself..."

"So, during the time I formed a band with Zi, I was truly happy. I really was... because Zi would always look at me and write songs that belonged to us. It felt like I was no longer a mediocre person with nothing to gain here. It felt like I had truly become myself. I naively thought, if this could continue forever, I would definitely be happy forever, right? I would definitely be happy until I die."

"I'm not sure if this counts as love. If wanting to be with Zi forever, supporting each other, understanding each other's thoughts, and being able to write songs that belong to us all the time can be considered love, then I definitely like Zi. Very, very much."

"But... Azusa, I'm truly sorry. I was too greedy. Having found happiness I'd never known before, I became addicted to it, and without even realizing it, I kept craving more... At first, I just wanted to be by Azusa's side, but then it became wanting her to have only me by her side... In the end, even with Azusa by my side, I still didn't feel satisfied, so I took the initiative to go find Deng."

152

Chapter 152 If the fate is over, it should not come back.

"I'm sorry, Zi... I ignored your thoughts and didn't notice your feelings. Perhaps it's because people who are respected always unconsciously feel confident... I naively thought, how could Zi leave me? Zi will definitely be with me forever, right? No matter what I do... Zi will definitely forgive me and continue to stay by my side, right? I was actually greedy to this extent."

No matter how hard Shiina Riki tried to wipe her tears, she couldn't stop them from flowing from the corners of her eyes. But for some reason, she wore a relieved smile on her face: "But in the end, my fantasy was shattered, and I woke up from the dream. I hurt Azusa so deeply that I don't have the face to say such words. It's only natural for Azusa to want to leave me, right?"

"But even so... I still prayed to be able to stay by Azusa's side again. This hope and guilt tormented me. I began to fear leaving the room, afraid to see the sunlight, as if living in a world of imaginary dreams that could be easily punctured. If we hadn't met today, I'm afraid I would never be able to say these words to you again in my life."

"Although it's just a wishful thinking, and although I know it's really shameless to say so...but..."

Shiina Riki clenched his fists and finally uttered his final prayer: "Azusa, are you still willing to forgive the mistakes I made?"

Is that so?

It turns out that this was the situation from beginning to end.

Songzhi Zi gradually understood everything.

However, even so, the hurt that has been suffered cannot be erased, and the scars that are deeply nailed into the heart will not disappear just because the nails are pulled out.

If I could have felt this feeling before, if Shiina Riki could see his own heart earlier, if they could have understood each other before everything happened... would things have been different?

Unfortunately, there are no ifs in this world. There are only realities that have happened.

Matsueda Azusa glanced at Shiina Tachikawa's hopeful eyes, but just looked up at the sky.

After a moment's silence, he slowly spoke, but didn't offer a definitive answer: "At this point, forgiveness or not is meaningless. Whether we forgive or not, it's just a continuation of pointless torment. The pain we've endured won't go away. All we can do is carry the burden of our mistakes and move on."

"Now that I think about it, it wasn't entirely your fault, Shiina. Although you ultimately caused the band's collapse, perhaps I also treated the band and its members with the wrong attitude from the very beginning. I clearly considered the band my home, and everyone as the most important existence..."

"But I only selfishly wanted everyone to understand my thoughts, feel my feelings, and value what I value... I blindly pursued these illusory things, forgetting that unilateral demands will not produce any results."

"I haven't tried to understand everyone's thoughts—no, perhaps to be more precise, I thought I did, but I didn't. It was all just my own selfish thoughts. Even after being together for so long, I still haven't been able to understand your feelings, Shiina. The thing you want to pursue is right beside you, but you're chasing it aimlessly like a headless fly. It's just that now there's no possibility of starting over again."

"If I could try more to understand everyone, if I could understand others' feelings before forcing them to understand mine, wouldn't I always miss out, always lose, always be confused, always not understand, and always be unable to obtain? But unfortunately, there is no if."

"I used to be a hopeless, selfish, and childish person... Even now, I can't say I'm not."

After saying all this, Matsueda Azusa felt a lot more relaxed, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders. He could finally let go of the pain that had plagued him in the past, face up to the hurt he had suffered and the mistakes he had made, and move towards the future with ease.

"In short, thank you for your support when I was feeling down. During the time you spent with me rebuilding Crychic, I truly felt happy."

Matsueda Azusa extended her hand towards Shiina Riki: "Although we have supported each other and hurt each other before, perhaps the hurt we suffered will never be erased, and the word forgiveness will never be spoken. However... if you are still willing, I am willing to be your friend again."

Shiina Riki's eyes dimmed, as if she had lost all her strength. As expected, Matsueda Azusa was still unwilling to forgive her mistakes, but... at least they could still be friends again. In that case...

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Shiina Riki showed a slightly bitter smile, but also sighed with relief, reaching out and holding the hand extended by Matsueda Azusa, "I do."

But, is this it? Is everything over? Is this really okay? There's so much we want to say, so much we want to do together, so much we want to be together forever. Is all of this, all of it, now impossible?

Just thinking about this kind of thing made Shiina Riki feel so sad, disappointed and painful that he would faint.

Therefore, it absolutely cannot end like this. Holding Matsueda Azusa's hand again, Shiina Riki's confused eyes gradually became firm.

Although, perhaps becoming friends again is the best ending for her, but... Shiina Riki will never give up completely because of this.

In music, she's nothing but an ordinary mediocre talent, and the same is true of love. It's precisely because of this mediocrity that it's difficult to understand, that it leads to mistakes, setbacks, regrets, and failures. But the mediocre have only one path forward: persistence and hard work.

Even if you've fallen into an impossible situation, you must keep pushing forward with the last glimmer of hope. At the very least, you must strive to the point where you won't regret it again.

This is exactly what Tatsuki Shiina realized when he rebuilt Crychic with Azusa Matsueda, and now, he can also apply it to himself.

Just like how even though he lacks talent and sometimes gives up on himself, he never gives up on music, Shiina Riki will never let go of something he has determined, and the same goes for love.

"I'll pull myself together."

Shiina Riki said to Matsueda Azusa seriously.

She will become a better version of herself, correct mistakes when they occur, make amends for any harm done, and if she encounters repeated setbacks, she will start on the road again until one day she can stand by Matsueda Azusa's side again.

She made her feelings clear, and even now, she still liked Songzhi Zi like this.

She wants to take the initiative!

Shiina Riki, never give up!

153

Chapter 153 The opening of the school celebration and the strange Shura field.

The chance encounter with Shiina Riki on the street a few days ago seemed like an insignificant episode and did not cause much disturbance in Matsueda Azusa's life.

However, according to Hachiman Kairin's description, Shiina Riki finally regained his spirits and went back to school as usual. Although it is not known whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, Hachiman Kairin still expressed his gratitude to Matsueda Azusa.

But Matsueda Azusa still couldn't figure out why it was Hachiman Kairin who came to thank her. Did she see herself as Shiina Ritsuki's guardian, or something else entirely? It felt like the situation would become distorted if she thought about it too closely. Hachiman Kairin probably also harbored some strange feelings for Shiina Ritsuki—as expected, band members all enjoyed casual relationships, whether male or female.

At school, free from Yukinoshita Haruno's deliberate interference and under the oppressive rule of President Hotorahara, all the executive committee members worked together to prepare for the activities according to Yukinoshita Yukino's new schedule. Even Miura Yumiko only skipped work once at the beginning, and then she went to work diligently.

With such haste and haste, all preparations were finally completed before the opening ceremony of the school anniversary celebration. It's worth noting that Yukinoshita Haruno didn't seem to reappear during this time to cause trouble for her. This was a bit unlike her character. To be honest, after being punched by him that day, she actually left the scene without even saying a harsh word. This was also very puzzling. Matsueda Azusa was a little suspicious that she was secretly holding back.

But that has nothing to do with Matsueda Azusa anyway, so let Yukinoshita Yukino enjoy that blessing on her own.

With the chairman's speech concluded, the well-organized opening ceremony, under the direction and planning of Yukinoshita Yukino, finally came to a close, and the school anniversary officially began. As for the trivial matter of giving a speech, Yukinoshita Yukino had experienced it countless times since she was a child, and it was not a difficult task for her - although it was limited to reciting the speech word for word, but doing it to this level was completely sufficient.

Because the club performances were concentrated in the afternoon before the closing ceremony of the school anniversary, Songzhi Zi was quite free at the moment. He could stroll around the school and take a look at the performances put on by each class.

Azusa Matsueda looked with interest at Hayato Hayama and Ayaka Totsuka, who were wearing costumes. The two were about to play opposite each other in the gay drama written by Ebina.

Hikigaya Hachiman, on the other hand, was already caught in a tangle of struggles, revealing a half-saint, half-demon Prajna face. While admiring that Totsuka Ayaka's cuteness had reached an all-time high, he was secretly staring at Hayama Hayato, who was Totsuka Ayaka's "other half", with gritted teeth.

Damn it, all the good things are taken by the cash-in! Okay! Now use this fist to knock Hayato Hayama to the ground!

Today, Hikigaya Hachiman will fight his last battle!

However, his blazing gaze had clearly caught the eye of Ebina, the overseeing class event planner and screenwriter. Instantly, she appeared beside Hikigaya Hachiman and whispered in a devilish, alluring voice, "Young Hikigaya, which one did you lose, the gold or the silver? Would you like to experience the thrill of performing on stage? I could have him as your acting partner."

"Him? Could it be!"

Hikigaya swallowed. Could it be Totsuka...?

"That's right! It's Hayato!"

Ebina gave a thumbs up, shattering Hikigaya's beautiful fantasy.

Hikigaya's dead eyes reappeared: "..."

However, Ebina continued to recommend it: "Really? You're really not going to give it a try? It's definitely going to be great... ahem, I mean, it's going to be fun. The costume can be tailored to your figure and modified on the spot very quickly. Our specially hired costume designer has a pair of skillful hands. Don't you agree, Kawasaki-san?"

“…It’s just an average level.”

Saki Kawasaki, who was dragged over by Ebina, turned her head away and answered casually.

Matsueda Azusa watched Ebina continue to pester Hikigaya Hachiman. At this time, Miura Yumiko seemed to be helping Yuigahama Yui. Matsueda Azusa planned to wait until everyone was done and then go out for a walk with the members of the Inspection Department.

Unexpectedly, Kawasaki Saki took the initiative to greet him: "Ah, Matsueda. I heard... there was some trouble with the Executive Committee a while ago. I think I heard a lot of people talking about you behind your back recently."

She didn't look directly at Songzhi Zi, but just leaned casually against the window next to her, with her head tilted, as if asking casually as a greeting.

Although Matsueda Azusa hadn't expected her to initiate a conversation, she simply shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. "Yes, there was some trouble, but the problem was theirs anyway. I just went over and gave them a good scolding. It's not the first time that Sobu High students have been teasing me behind my back. This is nothing."

"Do you need help?"

Saki Kawasaki hesitated for a moment, as if considering whether to ask this question, but in the end she said: "If there is anything I can help you with..."

Matsueda Azusa couldn't help but laugh: "Why are you always thinking about helping me? When you were confronting Miura before... are you so eager to repay the favor?"

"No! Uh, I mean...that's not it."

Saki Kawasaki subconsciously shook her head to deny it, and finally turned her gaze to Matsueda Azusa, but after hesitating for a moment, she did not give any reason why she did this if she did not want to repay the favor.

Matsueda Azusa was about to say something else when a voice came from not far away.

"Hey! Songzhi! Why are you hiding here and lazing around?"

Miura Yumiko suddenly appeared from nowhere, arms folded, and complained, "Also, Ebina! Hurry up and grab your official costume designer! She's also slacking off here."

Saki Kawasaki raised her eyebrows: "What are you talking about? I'm not being lazy. And you said you were the royal costume designer..."

Ebina, who was summoned, grabbed Kawasaki Saki's arm and said, "That's right, Kawasaki, come quickly too, we're the only one missing."

"what?"

Kawasaki Saki was stunned when she heard this: "Whether you want to encourage each other before the performance or reward each other based on merit, it has nothing to do with me..."

As Ebina dragged Saki Kawasaki away, he winked secretly at Yumiko Miura. "You're saying that again. You made the costumes for the musical, so of course you have to take responsibility."

"What responsibility... didn't you say you were responsible? I was just helping out..."

Although Saki Kawasaki complained, she was obediently pulled away by Ebina.

Finally, she turned around and said to Songzhi Zi from a distance: "Anyway, if you need my help, just tell me directly..."

"Tsk..."

Yumiko Miura couldn't help smacking her lips and was about to say something, but unfortunately, she was the one who interrupted someone else just now, and now someone else interrupted her.

The cycle of cause and effect, retribution is unhappy.

A familiar voice came from not far away: "Hey, Songzhi...you are so welcome."

154

Chapter 154: Several equal parts of pine branches and catalpa.

The person who spoke was none other than Yamada Ryo, who had appeared out of nowhere.

Miura Yumiko looked at her in surprise: "Huh? Where did this girl come from? She's not from our school!"

"really……"

Matsueda Azusa looked at Yamada Ryo who had appeared here. Although they had indeed agreed on the phone, it was Yamada Ryo's words after all, and Matsueda Azusa always took them half seriously. So she was a little surprised to see her here: "You really skipped class to come to our school's anniversary?"

"Hey."

Yamada Ryo gave a thumbs-up and said, "I always keep my word. I just skipped class to sprinkle some water."

"You'd better be..."

Matsueda Azusa complained, glancing behind her, but didn't see Nijigasaki and Goto Ichiri, who usually hang out with Yamada Ryo. "You came here alone?"

"Eh? Isn't it enough to have only me?"

Yamada Ryo deliberately showed a pitiful expression and looked at Songzhi Zi eagerly: "Songzhi, you are so fickle."

As soon as these words came out, Matsueda Azusa was speechless. He knew that Yamada Ryoichi must be up to no good when he came here, and he was going to use this trick on him, right?

Miura Yumiko, who was being ignored, was furious. She said with a forced smile, "You blue-haired brat, born evil... No, I mean, Yamada-san, you're not a student at Sobu High School, are you? What are you planning on doing here?"

She had an expression that said, "This stinky outsider has come to our Sobu to beg for food." She tried her best to exude the aura of the queen of Sobu High School and looked down at Yamada Ryo.

Facing Miura Yumiko's questioning, Yamada Ryo finally revealed an expression as if he had just discovered her, and said in surprise: "Ah! It's the yellow-haired guy who kidnapped Songzhi that day!"

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