Alice in the Land of Steam

"I don't like lying."

Bai Ye tried to fool Avra ​​with one sentence, but she obviously didn't believe this explanation and kept staring at her, not wanting her to give a clear answer. Bai Ye was quite helpless about this. She didn't know why Avra ​​was so obsessed with this point. What she said in a dream, whether it was true or false, didn't make any sense, right?

"You'll forget it when you wake up."

She said to Avra, "Including this dream and the conversation between you and me. Dreams are a reflection of reality and never last long. A dream in the morning may be forgotten by noon, and there will be no trace left at night. You will only have new dreams, and then forget them again, and so on. In this process, you get nothing. The only thing you can remember is that you had a dream. So there is no point in pursuing the truth in dreams. Why bother to force who is lying and who is being honest, Miss Avra?"

"You have a point."

Olvera looked around, and the scene in the room made her feel a little nostalgic. She and Lingge had lived here for thirty springs and thirty winters, and everywhere was filled with memories of him. Sometimes it rained, and she was too lazy to move, so she curled up in a rattan chair and watched the raindrops streak across the glass window, leaving winding silver lines on the glass, while Lingge dealt with her accumulated government affairs at the desk; sometimes the weather was clear and the sun was so bright that it seemed like the snow had melted, and she forced the young man to go to the courtyard to water the violets that were about to bloom, and occasionally she would think of the time when she was a child, chatting with her teacher here and drinking afternoon tea.

These years may be just a dream, but they are so real that Olivia does not want to wake up. If she can remember them in her heart, it will be a strange experience. But she will forget everything after waking up, even what she said to him or what she did. Such a thing is too cruel.

Thinking of this, Ovella couldn't help but sigh: "If only there was a way to not forget it."

"There is only one kind of person in the world who will never forget the dream he had, although I don't think you have that kind of talent." Bai Ye glanced at Aoweila, but did not specify what kind of talent it was, and Aoweila did not ask. She knew that in the field of dreams, Bai Ye was the expert, and since she said that she had no talent, then she definitely had no talent, so it would be better not to humiliate herself.

"It's better to forget it." Avella thought of a reason for herself, which could be regarded as psychological comfort: "At least I won't be too embarrassed when I meet you tomorrow."

What a strange idea.

Bai Ye kept looking at the painting on the wall, as if there was some huge secret hidden in it waiting for her to reveal. Suddenly she looked away and turned back to Avella and said, "You haven't answered my question yet."

Ovella was stunned for a moment and couldn't remember what question she had asked herself.

Bai Ye pointed at the painting on the wall. The young man and the girl in the painting were smiling brightly, which made the audience feel happy. The power of emotions is very contagious, just like the grand wedding that is still talked about by the people of Belmang to this day. But this kind of infection is too invasive. For Bai Ye, it is more like a vent.

"Do you really think that this kind of life is a happy one?"

She asked. This was actually the original question, but because Avra ​​kept interrupting, she hadn't gotten an answer until now: "Being with the person you love, living an ordinary life, without any thrilling adventures or missions that you can't avoid, for thirty years, or even until you both die of old age, close your eyes peacefully in the company of your children, and your soul returns to the Goddess's lightless sea... Is a life like this considered happy for you, Avra?"

"Is not it?"

Avella asked curiously, but did not refute the fact that Lingge was the person she liked. The main reason was that her dream had already progressed to the stage of marriage. If she insisted on denying it arrogantly, no one with normal intelligence would believe it, right?
"And I think I'm not the only one who feels this way." She added, "Isn't it the same for everyone? As long as you're with the person you love, you'll be happy no matter how ordinary your life is. It doesn't have to be like what you said, with adventures, missions, choices, and fate. These are too complicated and not suitable as a reference standard."

This is also what Olvera realized after going through many things, but in fact the young man understood this truth earlier than her. Although the peaceful life he pursued at the beginning actually had a bit of self-escape, if there were no witch associations, no girl kingship, and even no extraordinary and mysterious existence in the world, then you can't say that his idea is definitely wrong, and it is even the life that many people dream of.

After listening to Avella's sincere words and staring at the paintings on the wall for a while, Bai Ye suddenly sighed softly, and the meaning of that sigh was particularly complicated: "That's true, after all, all idiots look the same."

Isn't it the same with the scenes I saw in other people's dreams? The proprietress of the Fairy Deep Sleep Inn returned to Rostin in her dream and continued to run the small inn at No. 13 Sherrel Street. It was crowded every day. Although she was extremely busy, she enjoyed it. The ancestor of the Bloodfang Clan Valenhild was an elderly man who cultivated his body and mind in her dream. His greatest pleasure was to read books leisurely at the daily afternoon tea party and worry about the life events of his good granddaughter. The current nun of the Tianxin Church was still a nun in her dream, but she also served as the director of the welfare home. She adopted many homeless street children and let them feel the warmth of home again. This may be related to her blurred childhood memories...

Regardless of their identities, personalities, or experiences, they all made the same choice in this dream that best reflects their inner world. Of course, they occasionally have other dreams, bizarre dreams, nightmares that reflect fear, or old dreams that miss the past, but these dreams are very short and extremely unstable, often collapsing before they wake up. Even Bai Ye cannot stay in such a dream, let alone the dreamer's own memory.

This may illustrate a truth, that beautiful dreams are always shared with others, while strange dreams, nightmares and old dreams all strongly resist the invasion of a non-self-consciousness. Bai Ye's statement to Ovilla is actually not quite accurate. Dreams are indeed the echo of the heart, but being able to see dreams does not mean that you can see through a person's heart, because the heart is more complicated than that.

"Who are you calling an idiot?"

Olvera was sulking like a squirrel stuffed with acorns. She asked unconvincedly, "Since you think this is a fool's idea, then what is happiness in the eyes of smart people? Is there any difference between the happiness you want and the happiness of all of us?"

She asked the key question.

It would be absolutely false to say that Bai Ye had never thought about such a question; but if it were said that her thinking had produced some useful answers, it would be an overestimation of her abilities - or an underestimation of the difficulty of the problem.

Miss Angel, who has been writing in her diary, has recorded countless definitions of happiness, but can she be said to be correct? Bai Ye, who has seen countless familiar dreams, mocks them as stupid ideas, but can she give a more sophisticated explanation? In the final analysis, the happy life that everyone wants is only meaningful in reality, but there is a huge, insurmountable gap between dreams and reality. Bai Ye, who can only stand on this side of the gap and look at the unknown continent, how can he cross this obstacle built on essence?
After thinking for a long time, she finally gave a seemingly plausible answer: "It's not about making yourself happy, but about making everyone happy. That's the way of a smart person, right?" Ovella suddenly felt embarrassed: "You, you have a point, but it would be great if it were really that simple. Does everyone include those who shouldn't be happy?"

Her Royal Highness the Princess of the ancient country of Beman has always been a person who has a clear distinction between love and hate. Who she likes and who she hates is always shown on her face, and she will not hide her intentions. So Bai Ye knows very well that the people she said should not be happy are most likely the culprits who make everyone unhappy. For example, the person who forced the Fairy Deep Sleep Hotel to relocate; the person who forced the Countess to flee her homeland with her granddaughter; the person who made the nun accept the teachings of faith but made her go against her beliefs; the person who hurts others for ridiculous reasons; the person who sacrifices others for the so-called righteousness; the person who abandons others because of different ideas; the person who betrays the past and also betrays emotions... There are many people like this in the world, and they should not be happy, because that will only make people feel that fate is really ironic, the person who deserves the least gets what he wants the most.

but.

"Who should and who shouldn't, and who gets to define it?" Bai Ye murmured. Avra ​​thought she was asking herself a question, but in fact the gray-haired girl was just talking to herself: "Some people shouldn't exist in this world, but in fact she did nothing wrong. Can't such a person be happy?"

"How can it be--"

How could there be such a person?
Since you exist, you have received the blessing of the goddess, and you are a life that is promised and recognized by her. Who can ignore the will of the goddess and insist that you are a person who should not exist?
Olvera wanted to say this, but the words suddenly stopped at her lips, because at this moment she realized that perhaps there was a person standing in front of her who should not exist, an inner personality born of a curse, a young woman with two sides.

This is really... irrefutable.

The birth of the cursed personality is something that no one can predict, including the person who created this phenomenon, the witch who cast the curse and the girl who bore the curse. The dark inner personality guarding the bottom floor of the castle and responsible for monitoring Olvera is confused about the meaning of her existence and has chosen the opposite path from the main personality; as the inner personality of the kingship of the mind, Bai Ye may also face the same problem, or even more serious. After all, her main personality is a time bomb that changes its identity and personality every once in a while. Sometimes, the main personality relies more on the inner personality. In this case, even if Bai Ye wants to discuss with her, I am afraid that he will not get any results.

Given her cold and aloof personality, it is even more difficult to imagine who she would discuss such matters with. If so, that person must be someone she trusts very much.

In fact, it's not that there is no way to solve the problem. For example, before going to the Holy Temple of Heaven, Saint Shallia had imagined whether she could ask the goddess to separate Bai Ye's inner personality and give her a new life so that she could live as an independent person. She didn't mind having an extra sister. This might be the best choice for Bai Ye. Unfortunately, it was just a concept and could not be realized. After all, the prerequisites were no longer valid. Besides the goddess, there was probably no other person in the universe who dared to say that he had the power to create life.

Thinking of this, Ovilla suddenly felt that Bai Ye was so pitiful. Her behavior of casually breaking into other people's dreams was also seen as a psychological therapy for loneliness, to alleviate the girl's growing doubts and denials about her own existence. Perhaps only in dreams did she feel that she was truly alive.

Olvera felt guilty. She felt that she shouldn't have mentioned this topic, but she couldn't think of anything to say to comfort Bai Ye. She hesitated for a long time, and finally whispered: "Well, actually I don't mean that. I still think that some people in the world don't deserve happiness, but those people definitely don't include you, Bai Ye! We all like you very much, and Gloria depends on you, too, doesn't she? So, you have to have more confidence in yourself!"

After that, she even waved her fist to encourage him, causing Bai Ye to look at her twice more. After being speechless for a long while, he slowly shook his head and said, "So I say, you are really an idiot."

What does this mean!?

I was trying to comfort you with good intentions, but I was actually scolded?
Aoweila was struck by lightning, but she didn't dare to say anything. She felt that Bai Ye's mental state was very unstable, so she changed the "thank you" that she should have said to "idiot". Well, that was not her intention. She'd better be cautious and not stimulate her too much. What if she messes up in my dream? This is the first time I'm dreaming in my life. A good dream must not turn into a nightmare!
What a fool.

Where no one could see, Bai Ye curled her lips and turned around to take one last look at the painting on the wall. Ivory-white light and lemon-yellow oil paint were reflected in her gray eyes. It was as if the painting was repainted in her eyes. The girl's pupils were strangely mixed with the base color of the paint to form a complex look. Even a master painter who was best at copying characters could not see any emotion in these eyes at this moment.

It seems like everyone thinks you deserve happiness, Gloria.

As a fool, shouldn't you think about your future once in a while?

Don't always think about relying on me.

After all, I'm just a guy who likes to escape.

Bai Ye suddenly sighed: "Goodbye, Avella."

"Hey, you're leaving?"

"Can't you?"

"That's not what I meant, it's just... where are you going?" Ovella probed cautiously.

"Go to Ling'er's dream and tell him what you dreamed about tonight." Bai Ye replied expressionlessly.

"!?!" (End of this chapter)