I am an emotional anchor, one sentence can break the defense of the whole network

Raymond Lam continued: "Why do we care so much about our children's academic performance?

Because we, the parents of the 1980s and 1970s, actually enjoyed the educational level of the times,
Just like someone of your age, if his academic performance was not as good as yours and he did not get into a good university, his life would be very different.

But the future is not like that.

Judging from the employment in recent years, HL with academic qualifications is no longer available.

Unless you can get into Peking University, Tsinghua University, Fudan University or Jiaotong University, other ordinary universities will not change your life.

You see, nowadays, there are many college graduates working as food delivery boys and couriers.

Just like me, after graduating from university, I became a host.

Sister-in-law, remember this

He just made the wrong question, not the wrong person.

He is just a poor student, not a scumbag.

He just isn't on the list, but he's not without a way out.

Those with extraordinary talents will be rewarded to the country, while those with mediocre talents will be treated as children.

It's not an unforgivable crime, being healthy is enough.

No one wins everything because of exams, and no one loses his life because of exams. "

The woman was silent again.

. . . . .

On the barrage

"Oh my god, he just made a mistake in asking the wrong question, not in dealing with the wrong person. I am crying my ass off."

"He's just not on the list, but he's not without a way out (thumbs-up)."

"I'm getting scolded for studying at a junior college this year. I just got the questions wrong on the college entrance exam, I didn't commit murder or arson (crying)."

"I am also a college student, why should our lives be judged by those test papers (angry)."

"What a wonderful person! I am a fan of this anchor."

"That's right! I wish I had seen this educational perspective earlier."

. . . . . .

The woman was silent for a while and then said, "But he was disobedient, which led to a bad relationship between him and his father and grandmother."

Lin Feng exhaled a puff of smoke and asked, "What does it mean to be obedient?"

Woman: "They are the only ones who might find fault with him."

Lin Feng: “For example?”

Woman: "For example, he has a poor focus and procrastinates."

Lin Feng smiled: "Aren't they all related to study? Aren't procrastination and dawdling all related to study?"

Woman: "No, he procrastinates in his life, too."

Lin Feng: "So did he influence you?"

The woman was stunned for a moment and said, "Well...it doesn't have any special impact."

Lin Feng spread his hands: "So, what does it matter?"

Woman: “But…”

Lin Feng raised his hand to interrupt, "Don't say buts, listen to me first, you are a widower and a second marriage, he is the child you brought over, he needs more love.

Do you know how much more love is?

you do not know.

Because as long as you think it is normal love, in fact, it is much less in his case.

Only if you are partial to him can it be said that your love is relatively normal.

I don’t know if you can understand what I’m saying, because he is different from other children, he was brought here by you.”

Woman: “I understand.”

Raymond Lam: "So your child's life is already very difficult."

Woman: “Yes.”

Lin Feng: "So what do you want from him?"

The woman is silent.

Lin Feng took a puff of cigarette and said, "Sister-in-law, do you know why I didn't scold you? I have been communicating with you patiently since we started chatting.
That's because I know you are different from other sisters-in-law.
You have trauma in your heart.

I'm sorry to say this.
But I know very well that being a widow is actually more serious than being divorced, because you will suffer psychological trauma! ! ” The woman seemed to have been touched on and suddenly burst into tears.

Lin Feng sighed and said, "But I have to remind you that your child also has this psychological trauma, did you know that?"

After Lin Feng finished speaking, the woman suddenly stopped crying and trembled, "Brother, my son..."

. . . . .

On the barrage

"The trauma of being widowed is greater than being divorced. I understood it in an instant (crying to death)."

"Because divorce is mostly a personal choice, while widowhood is something you are forced to accept (sigh)."

"Your child has also suffered psychological trauma. Oh my god, big brother really made me cry."

"A divorced person still has a father, but a widowed person doesn't."

woo woo woo woo.

. . . . .

Raymond Lam: "You live under someone else's roof, so you want him to be perfect, right?"

Woman: “Yes.”

Raymond Lam: "Because you are particularly worried that your child will be disliked by his grandmother and your current husband because of poor performance, so you need to help him behave very well to gain their love, right?"

Woman: “Yes.”

Lin Feng sighed and said, “I understand your feelings very well, but I want to tell you a very cruel reality.

They will never, ever love your eldest as much as they love your second, never.

So don't have this expectation. If you have this expectation, you will be very hurt. And once you influence your children, your children will also hope to get the love of this father and that grandmother, and in the end they will be very hurt.

It's cruel, right? There's nothing we can do about it, this is reality.

A previous study abroad found that many stepfathers are good fathers and are particularly good to their children. Then the children will also say that this stepfather is particularly good.
Even they have been together for many, many years.

But when it comes to dividing property, no matter whether it is Longguo or the West, the stepfather will give the property directly to the blood-related children.

Even if his ex-wife's children grew up with his ex-wife, had little affection for him, and had never been with him, he would still give his property to his ex-wife's children in the end.

It's a harsh statistic, but it's the reality.

Now that you know the reality, there is no need to get the same love from the other party, and there is no need to worry that any small behavior of your son will cause the other party to have some thoughts about him. In fact, they are not important.

Sorry, sister-in-law, it's too cruel, but the statistics are indeed like this,
Sociology really doesn’t talk about ideals, it only talks about statistical data.

Of course, I don't mean to say that your husband is bad, nor that your mother-in-law is bad. I mean that they may be very good and their relationship is very harmonious.
But the reality is that you can't make this request to them, so you can only love him more biasedly.

You have to give him more emotional support. You are his rock. Do you understand?"

. . . . .

On the barrage

"Put yourself in this situation for a moment. Dad is gone, mom found a new family, and has a new child. I have to please this new family in order to survive. It's so suffocating. (Tears)"

"My friend got married for the second time. I think she is very wise. She did not ask her eldest child to integrate into her second marriage family. She rented a house next to her second marriage family. Her mother came to help take care of the eldest child and never went to her new family.

I asked her if she had ever mentioned that her child called her current husband "Dad"? She said no, she had her own father, and she mostly used her own money to support her in her old age.

"Your friend is awesome!!!"

"Intelligent and capable (thumbs-up)."

. . . . . . .

Woman: “I understand.”

Raymond Lam: “So you have to let go of your requirements for his studies and give him more support, and he will take a different path.

If you miss your ex-husband, you must let your children know.
Otherwise he will feel that no one remembers his father now that he is gone, and no one remembers his mother either, because you have a new family.

So sometimes we have to let the eldest brother know that we will miss your dad occasionally.

You can also point out the similarities between him and his father, the good points, and don’t always say that he is bad.”

. . . . . .

On the barrage

"Mom must let the child know when she misses dad, otherwise the child will feel that dad is gone and no one remembers him. Oh my god, this live broadcast made me cry so hard."

“Let the kids know that we miss dad sometimes (thumbs-up).”

"Big brother really has a huge power of compassion, just like the enlightenment of Guanyin, and he used the thundering methods of Vajra to ask for the love and tolerance that belonged to this child. Big brother has immeasurable merits."

"This mother really needs to face reality and give her eldest son more love and preference." (End of this chapter)