I am an emotional anchor, one sentence can break the defense of the whole network

"Thank you, brother. I understand."

The woman nodded and left.

Lin Feng took a puff of cigarette and said to the live broadcast room: "Sister-in-law, I hope to give you some energy.
Although what I said was rather cruel, I thought it might be better if I could wake you up sooner.

Of course, my advice to you is still that you must heal your own trauma first, otherwise you cannot protect yourself, and you cannot protect your children.

Just like when you are on an airplane, you will be told that if there is a problem with the plane, such as an emergency decompression,

Please put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then on your child. It's the same principle."

why?
Full screen of question marks.

Lin Feng was speechless: "No, are you guys kidding me, or do you really not know?

This is because at an altitude of about 1 meters, a person can maintain effective consciousness for 30 to 60 seconds.

You have to put on your oxygen mask first so that you have the time and ability to protect your children.

Otherwise, if you yourself are unconscious, how can you protect the child?"

. . . . .

On the barrage

"Because you have the ability to put an oxygen mask on your child, your child may not be able to put one on you."

"That's right, so mom must protect herself first."

“I learned something again.”

. . . . . .

Raymond Lam: "This is the same as buying insurance. Some people consider their children first and then themselves when buying family insurance.

Even just buying insurance for children,

This is not nonsense.

As parents, we all love our children dearly. This is understandable and human nature.

But have you ever thought about who is the first line of defense for children against risks?

It’s the parents.

It's you.

If something happens to your child and causes a financial burden on the family, and you really have no money, you can still borrow money.

You can still find a way.

But if the parents fall and the family pillar is gone, will the children survive?
The same is true when driving on the highway.

You ask the whole family to fasten their seat belts, but you are the only one driving without a seat belt, what’s the fun?”

. . . . . .

On the barrage

"Everyone in the car wore seat belts, but the driver didn't. Hahahaha, I'm dying of laughter."

"Don't mention it, don't mention it, my dad does this all the time (laughing and crying)."

Hahahaha absolutely amazing!

"I just planned to buy insurance for my child. What my brother said really warned me."

"That's right, adults must protect themselves first before they can protect their children."

. . . . . .

All right,

Next person.

Ding~
"Hey bro."

It's a female voice.

Raymond Lam: "Hello, what's the problem?"

Woman: "Brother, let me tell you about my situation. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder three times before. I am 30 years old now and my daughter is in the second grade of elementary school.

Then today, I had a very heated argument with the child’s father over a very small matter.”

Raymond Lam: "What's a small thing?"

Woman: "At first, my child was doing homework there, and my husband was putting book covers on her.

I just sighed there because I was looking for a job recently and I also encountered some setbacks.

I felt like I couldn't do anything right, and I didn't take good care of my children.

As a result, she always has to stay up late to do her homework, and it seems that I don't take good care of her.

I don’t seem to be taking good care of myself, because my career at work is not going very well.

I felt like nothing was taken care of, and then I kind of collapsed.

My husband asked what's wrong with the child?
I asked her if she had any independent thinking ability now, and she didn't seem very confident either.

My husband asked her why she lacked confidence.

I said that there were only three of us at home, and the child usually had to whisper to me, and she didn't dare let her father hear it because she was afraid that her father would scold her if he heard it.

My husband was very angry and said he would not talk to me anymore.
From now on, if anything happened to his daughter or she did something wrong, he would not say anything about her.
I am just speechless.

At the end of the argument, he asked how we could live like this? He said the three of us should just die together and not live anymore.

stop stop stop!
Lin Feng raised his hand to interrupt, "Sister-in-law, from what I hear it's all your fault. Why the hell are you still feeling wronged?"

???

The woman had a question mark on her face.

Don’t understand?
Lin Feng knocked and said, "I can tell you clearly, it's your problem.

For example, if I have problems with my mental state and I am very negative, even if I just say that I am not good or useless, I am actually draining the energy of the people around me.

But you are not only wasting your own energy, you are also always pointing out other people's problems, for example, you say your child is not good enough and his father is not good enough either.
You were practically trying to drown your whole family."

The woman opened her mouth to explain.

Lin Feng interrupted forcefully: "Listen to me first, in a family, it's not just about others giving you strength and taking care of your emotions, you also have to take care of other people's emotions and give them energy.

You said that your child finishes his homework very late and procrastinates every day. The fact is, there are 50 people in my live broadcast room. Ask yourself, how many of them can really finish their homework on time every day?

Wasn't it the same when we were little?
I didn't even do the homework assigned by the school during the winter and summer vacations, and would make up for it two days before school started.

Sometimes I can’t finish making up the homework, and my mother will help me, believe it or not.

To put it bluntly, some teachers like to assign meaningless homework. For example, when I was in the second grade, the Chinese teacher would assign 10 new words every day.

Write a new word 10 times.

10 new words means 100 times.

No kidding, it might take a second grader two or three hours to write 100 words.

I have to stay up very late every day and can't get up for class the next day.

Later my mother said, son, I will help you read, you just need to write.

If you write down the word that your mother reads, your mother will write it for you if you need to repeat it later.

As it turns out, I can write some words the first time because I have memorized them during class.

There is no need to rewrite a lot.

But some characters have more complicated strokes, and I may need to write them three times before I can remember them.

My mother said, "Just remember it, and she will help you write the next seven times."

So I only wrote a dozen of the 100-word homework, and my mother helped me write the rest.

At first, my dad was still talking to my mom and said, "What you are doing is wrong."

My mother said that children’s time is also time, and children’s energy is also energy.
Instead of letting him spend all his time on these 100 words, it is better to let him save time to read or even play, so that he can be happy.

Later it turned out that my grades had not declined, but had improved, so my dad stopped saying anything.”

. . . . . .

On the barrage

"Mom is so wise, no wonder my eldest brother is so smart."

"I thought I was the only one who did this (laughing and crying)." "The key is that there are too many homeworks nowadays. Even if the children study hard, they have to study until very late every day."

"Not only are there too many, but there are also many meaningless repetitions. My child's teacher asked him to write new words during lunch, and he repeated each word 50 times. I was impressed (grin)."

"My family is even more exaggerated. We have to copy an ancient poem 20 to 30 times (speechless)."

"I always repair (the sunglasses) for the children."

"Who isn't? The day before yesterday, on the return train, my child and I were catching up on homework, and the conductor passed by and glanced at us several times (laughing and crying)."

Hahahahahaha.

. . . . . .

Raymond Lam: “I saw someone say your mom is teaching you to cheat.

Go to hell!

I tell you, the teacher is just a worker. He just completes the task.

We workers all know how to slack off and give up.

So is it so sacred for teachers to assign homework?
Just like in society, bosses can’t stand their employees having free time. The same goes for teachers, they can’t stand children having free time.

But the facts tell us that the kind of boss who sits in the office all day long thinking about how to find things for employees to do generally does not perform well in their company.

The same is true in school.

of course,

We should not be hard on the teacher, it is just asking for trouble.

What parents can do is to ask their children to write repetitive or overly repetitive homework, or spend some money to find a college student to help write it.

You can use the time saved to encourage your child's reading, or do sports, or do handicrafts, or even sleep. It’s all fine.

If it is not particularly repetitive, but the quantity is large, it is like the homework that requires the sea of ​​questions. There are all kinds of software now, such as photo and search, and everyone understands it.

Let your child save time for previewing and self-study, so that he can develop the ability to study independently.

The third type is writing, which is the kind of writing that can trigger children to think. This is for children to complete independently. If the child does not know how to do it, you can discuss it with the child to trigger his thinking and ideas. "

. . . . .

On the barrage

"Brother, what you said is very good. I have learned a lot."

"I also help my child with his writing, but not randomly. I write for him on the questions he knows how to write, and I try to imitate his notes as much as possible (laughing and crying)."

"My son is in the fourth grade. I help him with math while he does other things. He does it until 10 p.m., on time. If he can't finish his homework, he stops and goes to sleep. My child has to sleep even if the sky falls. If I have nothing else to do, I go to the group to get angry and say that he has too much homework (humph)."

"The main point is to fight if you don't agree (sunglasses)."

Hahahaha.

"I think if you don't have a way out and enough confidence, try not to be that special person, hey..."

“This is the reality of ordinary people.”

too difficult!
. . . . .

Raymond Lam: “Anyway, no matter what the situation is, parents are definitely not belittling their children.

The child just finished his homework late, so what's wrong with that? There is absolutely no problem with what his father said.

But the child is bad in your mouth, and you even use the child to suppress his father.

The reason why the child lacks confidence is because of his father.

Well, in the final analysis, aren't you the root of this family?

If you hadn't said that, there would have been no problem tonight."

Woman: "Maybe I do get anxious easily."

Lin Feng waved his hand: "You are not anxious, if you are anxious I would think it is normal.

Because anxiety causes trouble and pain to yourself.

But your anxiety not only hurts yourself, you also hurt your children, belittle your children, and belittle your husband.

This thing of yours is completely invaded from the outside.

Many people now say they are depressed, some even have severe somatization, and some even have it upgraded to bipolar disorder.
That is all self-harm, self-doubt, and self-anxiety.

But you are different, you are outward-looking, you gain power by hurting others,

That’s wrong.”

Woman: "Then I may be demanding of others while demanding of myself."

Lin Feng: "Why do you like to make excuses for yourself so much? You are not asking others, you are hurting others.

You start to deny others. For example, what should normal requirements be?

When you see your daughter doing her homework very late, a normal person would say it's too late, and tell her to go to bed early, and get up earlier tomorrow morning to do her homework, or say we should finish it earlier next time and not procrastinate any longer.

But you are not like that. You directly say that the child is not good and the husband is not good. You are directly attacking.

As soon as you go up to others, you start to deny them and belittle them.

If you are making normal requests to others, I think it is normal, because everyone has requests at home, just like my mother also makes requests to me.
But making demands and belittling are two different things.”

The woman is silent.

. . . . .

On the barrage

“It’s one thing to demand things from your family and another to belittle them (thumbs-up).”

"It's over, I'm like this too (laughing and crying)."

“Hahaha I also feel like I need to see a psychiatrist (covering my face).”

"Hmm...record the screen for reflection."

"Just forwarded the screen recording to my wife, wait for me for 5 minutes."

“@Upstairs, if you are still here in five minutes, I suggest you connect with Big Brother so that I can treat you (dog head).”

Hahahahaha.

. . . . .

Raymond Lam: "You must realize that any anxiety or pessimism you have has nothing to do with others.
It wasn't your husband who caused it; he was just wrapping the books.

It has nothing to do with your child, she is just catching up on her homework.

You should not transfer anything to the people around you and get energy from them.

You are in pain, you have some mental burdens and some psychological illnesses, I understand that.

But this is not as it should be.

Because any relationship is mutual, he doesn't just say it's about getting, do you understand?

For example, if I want to gain strength from the other person, then we should also care about them.

Just like your husband, he should not only take care of your anxiety and comfort you.

Similarly, you should praise and acknowledge him occasionally.

It's mutual.

And let me be frank, except for your family members who can bear your emotions, people outside may also hate you."

Woman: "Yes, I am harsh to my family, but I am not like that to people outside."

Raymond Lam: "This is called being disrespectful when close to someone and being disrespectful when close to someone.

Some people are like this. The closer you are to them, the more demanding they will be towards you.

The more you distance yourself from him, the more you distance yourself from him, the more this person will respect you.

This is a kind of 'low character'.

This is not what I said, sister-in-law, this is what the teacher said.

If you want to curse, curse Confucius, don't curse me."

Woman: ... (End of this chapter)