I am an emotional anchor, one sentence can break the defense of the whole network

Man: "Brother, let me tell you something, because I saw someone in the live broadcast room saying that our family is doing PUA.
In fact, during that period, my parents were very good to my wife, often buying her gifts, including gold.”

Woman: "I only bought gold once."

Man: "Okay, okay, I only bought the gold once, but I didn't say that anyone wants to get something for nothing, like a wife.

Why do we owe 200? It’s because we bought two houses in Shanghai.
Now the house loan has been fully repaid, and the loan is not owed to us, but to my parents.
We will not be the only ones to bear the burden of this loan in the future.

I've seen this being discussed in the comments section, so I'll explain it first."

Lin Feng nodded.

The woman continued, "This is the first problem. The second problem is that my baby's health was later diagnosed with problems.
I had an induced labor at 24 weeks.

After the baby was diagnosed with a problem, my husband came back from vacation.
After he came back, he chatted with his mother. My husband said that he dreamed that his grandmother passed away. His mother also said that she dreamed that her husband's grandmother passed away.
Then one day my husband was watching TikTok and someone commented like this. He said that if someone lives, someone dies.
Later, my baby was induced for labor, and my husband felt that my baby saved his grandmother's life.
Then on the first day after I was discharged from the hospital, his relatives came to visit me and told me that the baby had come into this world and had completed his mission. The baby saved my husband's grandmother's life.

I was devastated.

Because I think the baby existed, and there is no saying that it came for anyone. It didn’t come for anyone.”

As she spoke, the woman started crying out of grievance.

Her husband rushed to comfort her.

Lin Feng was speechless and said: "Big sister, I'm not saying anything bad about you, but your emotional intelligence is actually quite low.

When relatives and friends say this, they may just be trying to comfort you relatively speaking.

Can you understand?
Maybe you are a person who likes to be picky, and others don’t know how to comfort you, so they can only say this.

Oh, the child has health problems. He said that at least his grandmother was saved, and the child’s presence made sense.

I just said that, just for show.

Maybe they are just here to comfort you, saying that the child's mission has been accomplished since he came into this world. Maybe they are just saying that.

Can you understand?
After all, the child was aborted because of health problems. It has nothing to do with your relatives and friends, your husband, or your mother-in-law.

Because he has health problems.

Now that the child has been aborted, people can only comfort you on the spot. Although the child has died, he may have saved his grandmother. They may say that the child has come into this world and his mission has been fulfilled.

Just to comfort you.

I think a friend of mine had a miscarriage.

Then when we went to the hospital, they said the same thing, saying that life and death are unpredictable and that the child might not be destined to happen.

Well, with your picky personality, what's the basis for you to say that it's not my destiny to have a child? If it's not my destiny, why would I get pregnant with him?

I have lost my child and I am so sad. You said that I am not destined to have a child.

I was just saying that for show,

I will just comfort you."

. . . . . .

On the barrage

"Ah? So it's words of comfort (laughing and crying)."

"Indeed, it's mainly for comfort."

"Although you may not feel comfortable listening to it, your logic is correct."

"But this kind of comforting is of low EQ (grin)."

"I can't accept this kind of comfort either (covering my face)."

"It's good enough that someone comforted you, but you still insisted (laughing to death)."

. . . . . .

The woman was silent for a while and then said, "But a week after I was discharged from the hospital, I was still recovering. One day, his mother came to chat with me.
She told me about someone's pregnancy, someone's friend who had twins, and she kept talking to me for almost an hour.

There is no other topic.

Because I was too weak, I felt sad and wanted her to stop, but I didn’t open my mouth, and then... "

No, no, no,

Lin Feng waved his hand and interrupted: "Sister, why are you like this?

Elders, it’s all like this.

When you get married, not only your mother-in-law, but also some aunts, uncles, and other relatives who have more relatives in your family will surround you and say,

Oh, it’s better to have a baby sooner. My cousin has already had one, or so and so has a second baby.

Can you understand?
The elders will just talk to you about family matters, because they don’t know what to talk to you about, it’s nothing more than someone’s family has a new baby or something.

It’s not like she’d say these things inappropriately just because you’ve just induced labor.

People may be afraid that you are worried and think that you will not be able to have children in the future, so they want to reassure you. Look, your cousin is almost 40 and she can still have children.

It's not a big deal, actually.

Just like you said, if you had said at that time that you didn't want to listen anymore and you didn't want to talk about it anymore, people might not talk about it either.

Because everyone has never gotten along before, and everyone doesn't know what the other person is thinking, so at this time, you need to communicate more.

You can express your own wishes. You can tell others clearly that you don’t want to listen anymore, and then it’s OK.

But if you don’t say it, and you want others to guess what you are thinking, they really can’t guess it.”

. . . . . .

On the barrage

"The elders' gossip is nothing more than who has a new baby (thumbs-up)."

"Brother really understands life."

"Oh my god, it turns out I am the one who is sensitive (laughing and crying)."

"No, who on earth is so comforting (grin)."

"Brother told me that if you feel uncomfortable you can speak up. You are such a coward and hypocrite."

"The weaker you are, the more likely you are to get angry without a name. The more inferior you are, the more you feel that others' rejections are ironic. Being young is not scary, but being young mentally is scary."

Agree!

. . . . . .

Raymond Lam: “Including just now when you interrupted your husband and said that her mother only bought you gold once.

You keep emphasizing it, so I bought it for you once.

what,

Is it no longer a favor if you buy it once?
Can't you just remember the good things others have done for you?" Man: "That's right, brother. My parents only bought gold for my wife once, but they really treated her very well.
For example, when I first brought her to my home, my parents gave her a red envelope of 10,000 yuan.
During the time she lived in our home, we didn't let her do anything.
Then I cook and wash clothes for her every day. I might buy her gold once, but for other things or when my dad goes on a business trip, he will bring her gifts. "

Lin Feng nodded: "It's about the same for most families to do this, but what is the one thing?

Man, listen to me, it may be because parents are too involved.

These are originally favors, but because you have done so much, others have become accustomed to it and think it is their due.

Since we live together, your wife would think of me as a guest, so isn't it normal for your parents to cook for me?
Aren't you going to get married? Then isn't it normal for your father to bring me a gift?
On the contrary, it is easy to have a weak sense of boundaries.

So, as a parent, I would also like to remind the livestreamers that I personally think parents must be more open-minded. "

The woman is silent.

. . . . . .

On the barrage

“Parents are too involved, and their affection has become a matter of course (thumbs-up).”

"Brother is really clear-headed."

"We should really move out, so that the division of responsibilities is clearer."

"My wife is choking now, and my husband needs to calm her down first. At this time, my brother can still speak for the girl."

"Brother is handsome again (heart)"

. . . . . .

Raymond Lam: "I don't mean to criticize anyone, we are just analyzing."

Man: "Brother, my wife wants us to move out or get a divorce."

Raymond Lam: "Do you want a divorce?"

Man: “No.”

Lin Feng: "Then just move out."

Man: "But it costs a lot to go out, and my wife's health hasn't recovered yet."

Lin Feng waved his hand and said, "Don't talk about that, buddy, listen to me, you still have to follow your wife's wishes.

Because she didn't really want a divorce, she was just stuck here.

But believe me, after you really move out, she will find that she has to cook for herself and do her own laundry.

There are also many housework to do every day.

She may have gradually figured it out and wanted to come back, because living with her parents, she doesn't have to cook for herself.
Parents can also help with housework, and when they have children in the future, they can also help take care of them.
She can understand a little bit.

But it's no use just telling her this truth, she has to experience it herself.

Don't exaggerate the problem, everything has to be a process.

Because she may not have fully integrated into your family yet, and everyone may still be in a period of adjustment.

There will also be conflicts in personality.

After all, you haven't lived together for decades, so your wife may still have some resistance to your mother and father's personalities.

Similarly, your family may have some misunderstandings about your daughter-in-law.

For example, if she asks your parents about a relative or friend who gave birth to twins, your mother might think, "I am talkative and cheerful. If I talk to you but you don't say anything, you still have a sour face."
It seems like I'm trying to please someone but they don't like me. This is my mother's perspective.

What about your wife? She doesn't understand your mother's character either. She feels that by saying so much, you are hinting that I should have another child as soon as possible.

You are pua me, your wife feels this way,
Then the misunderstanding between the two people deepened.

But if you two separate first and get to know each other better, maybe your wife will understand.
It turns out that my mother-in-law has this kind of personality. She is a little talkative and likes to talk about everything, but she is not a bad person.

Your mother has also gotten to know my daughter-in-law, and she may be a little sensitive, so I will say less about her, as she may not like these topics.

Gradually, the two people got to know each other better and there were fewer conflicts.

There is a running-in period at the beginning.
You have it with your wife, and she has it with your mother.

This is how people get along with each other.”

. . . . . .

On the barrage

"It's hard for a judge to settle family disputes. It's so hard, brother."

"Live broadcast of the court session (laughing and crying)."

"My brother is sometimes a judge and sometimes the director of the neighborhood committee (laughing to death)."

"You should move out. No matter how good your parents are, you can't rely on them."

"Yes, and if a couple lives by themselves, they will be in a good mood and it will be more conducive to the warmth of their relationship."

. . . . . .

Man: "Okay, I think what you said makes sense, I'll listen to you."

Lin Feng: "Is it not stressful to rent a house outside?"

Man: "Not bad, I make 15,000 a month and my wife makes 5,000."

Raymond Lam: "A couple with a combined monthly income of 20,000 yuan is good enough, and they are a well-off family.
If I want to eat at Haidilao or KFC, I can just close my eyes and masturbate, which is pretty good.”

Man: "Actually, my wife used to earn more than 5000 yuan, but now she is earning yuan after she got pregnant and got a new job. When she recovers, she can earn more than yuan."

Raymond Lam: "That's even better. You two make 25,000 a month combined. You'll have to go crazy on Thursdays. You'll both eat like crazy at KFC."

Well. . .

. . . . . .

On the barrage

"Oh my god, KFC, hahahaha."

“KFC will eat you two to death, hahahahahaha.”

"25,000 a month, Thursdays have to be crazy (laughing and crying)."

"I just want to ask you if you are crazy (raised eyebrows)."

"Without 9.9 original chicken, I have no interest (sunglasses)."

Hahahahaha

"Who among the rich would be crazy about Thursdays? If I were you, I would order it any day except Thursday (dog head)."

Hahahaha that's amazing. (End of this chapter)