Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 1

Chapter 20
Wang Liang looked at me and said very sincerely: "But when you talk, I get even more scared. Are you trying to help me or kill me?"

I figured that if he died and turned into a ghost, the hanged ghost would be very happy.But now I haven't brought him to see the hanged ghost and the ghosts of the Kong family, and I don't know if this Wang Liang is the Wang Liang that Leng Baoyuan reincarnated.Randomly comforting him, he said, "Don't worry. When the Kong family died, the technology wasn't so advanced, and they didn't build this tall building. Even if they were ghosts, they would be tired if they climbed up to the [-]th floor in one go. There wouldn't be any big threat!"

As soon as the voice fell, I suddenly heard a crisp "ding" sound.

The sound is very familiar. When employees take the elevator to and from get off work, the elevator door switch sounds like this.

"What if..." Wang Liang obviously heard this voice, and asked me tremblingly, "What if they take the elevator?"

I underestimated them, it turns out that they will also be high-tech.

The surrounding temperature dropped suddenly, and I could feel a cloud of Yin Qi approaching here.Accompanied by this Yin Qi, came the cry of a woman.

This is a very strange feeling. You are separated from the outside by a wall, but you can clearly feel a "person" walking outside...

You can't see anything, but you can know that "her" raises and lowers her feet, raises and lowers her feet, and walks slowly forward.

I know that Wang Liang feels the same as me, because our eyes are parallel, staring at the wall, moving little by little with the "person" on the other side of the wall.

The office was dark, only the incandescent lights in the corridor illuminated the door of the office.

We all felt that the "woman" had stopped and stood at the door, with the sound of crying close to our ears.

But the light at the door was not blocked by anything, not even a shadow could be seen.

Wang Liang tremblingly picked up the flashlight and pointed it there. The flashlight scanned several times from top to bottom, and suddenly stopped.

I followed the light of the flashlight and saw a pair of women's feet below the door.

A pair of old-fashioned black cloth shoes with pink denim trousers.

Wang Liang shook his hand, the flashlight flickered for a while, and then went to take a photo, but there was nothing there.

"You you you...do you see it?" Wang Liang asked.

I said, "I see."

Wang Liang took random photos with the flashlight: "Where did she go now?"

I held down his flashlight and said, "Listen."

There was silence all around, only the sound of the fax machine repeating mechanically.

Suddenly, the voice of the fax machine was mixed with discordant tones. At first it was a thin cry of a woman, and then the voice became louder and louder, turning into sharp laughter.

"on the wall!"

Wang Liang and I yelled at almost the same time, and looked towards the wall together, only to see a woman with disheveled hair slowly protruding from the wall less than half a meter away from us. , shouting at us: "Why?"

She came out so aggressively, even if I was startled, I stepped back and said, "Be careful!"

There was no reply for a while after speaking, and when I looked back, Wang Liang had already fallen to the ground.

A big man fainted from fright, and I hated him in my heart!Turning to look at the female ghost again, I realized Wang Liang's despicability.

Once he fainted, the female ghost ignored him and focused her fire on me, the standing person. Half of my upper body stretched out to a strange length, and my face covered with red and swollen welts stretched out just in front of me.

She looked straight at me and repeated, "Why?"

I said: "Huh?"

She asked again: "Why?"

I said: "What?"

"Why!" The female ghost became angry, and opened her mouth wide to roar, "I have done everything for you, why are you still doing this to me? Why?"

"Calm down, take a good look at me." I said while rubbing back, "I'm so handsome, I'm definitely not the one you know, I'm just a Taoist priest who joins in the fun."

The female ghost was taken aback when she heard the words, and suddenly stretched out her hand to grab me.

I put my hands on the ground and was about to run, when suddenly I heard Pai Yao say: "Don't move!"

Just in a flash, the female ghost's hand had already reached my eyes and slapped me on the head.

My eyes suddenly went dark, and then my mind was like a color TV. First, the screen was blurred, and suddenly a strange picture popped up.

There was a crying sound in the distance, in front of him was a dark room, a white candle was lit on a mahogany table, a man was sitting by the table, fiddling with a white sand pot with a serious expression.

The 'creaking' wooden door made a slight sound, and a woman stepped in.

She was wearing a pink linen dress and a pair of black cloth shoes on her feet.

The woman walked in lightly, looked outside cautiously, and quickly closed the door.

"Xiaohong." The man stood up and asked, "How is it?"

The woman named Xiaohong threw herself into the man's arms and whispered, "Scared, scared me to death!"

The man held her shoulders and pulled her away, and asked, "Did you get the things?"

"I got it. I got it. When the lady died, the people in the house were in chaos. Everyone was busy with the funeral, so no one was guarding the study." Xiaohong took out a stack of messages from her arms, "This is a private letter from the master. It's all on top."

The man pushed the woman away, opened the letter, and looked at it carefully by the light of the candle, with an expression of ecstasy on his face.

"Uncle..." Xiaohong asked softly, "How is it, right?"

The man glanced at her, put away the letter, picked up the white sand pot from the table, and poured a bowl of water for Xiaohong: "Don't worry, drink some water, and speak slowly."

"The Kong family treated me well, but I did this kind of thing..." Xiaohong was obviously very nervous, took a drink from the water glass, and then grabbed the man's sleeve and said: "Baoyuan, I will do everything for you I've done everything...you...are you serious that you won't blame me in the future?"

As soon as the word Baoyuan came out, I was shocked. Isn't this the name of the hanged ghost's husband?

The man was silent.

Xiaohong said again: "I have no face to stay in Kong's house anymore, shall we go together? I..." She was about to say something, but suddenly her words stopped, and her body limp and fell down.

"You! Did you drug the water?" Xiaohong looked at the man in disbelief.

"After a while, the Kong family will go down to accompany you, so please apologize to them underground." The man sneered.

"What do you want...to do?" Xiaohong lay on the ground, grabbing the man's trousers and said, "No...I, I won't tell others about this...there are so many people outside, you...will definitely be found out .” Her voice became weaker as she got further behind.

The man walked to the bed, moved the bed away, and slowly pulled out the bricks on the wall, revealing the gap inside.

The woman's eyes widened suddenly: "You...you want to..."

"Do you know the medicinal properties of this medicine?" The man picked up the woman and put her into the gap in the wall. "It can make a person unable to speak for ten days."

The woman opened her mouth again, but no sound came out.

"Don't worry." The man said as he piled bricks on it, "As a sad husband who just lost his wife, I won't let anyone enter this room full of memories during this time."

Someone knocked on the door outside: "Grandpa, there is a guest who wants to see you."

"I don't want to see anyone." The man kept moving his hands, the expression on his face remained unchanged, but his voice became sad, "Leave me alone."

The woman inside the wall opened her eyes wide and opened her mouth in vain, but she still couldn't cry out for help.

The people outside walked away.

The woman's eyes became desperate.

The bricks had already reached the woman's head, and seeing that the gap on the wall was about to be filled, the woman suddenly stretched out her hand, grabbed the man's hand, resisted the medicine and forced out a word, asking word by word: "why?"

The man didn't speak, but pushed her hand away, and piled the remaining bricks on top.

Then the screen flashed, and all the scenes disappeared.When I opened my eyes again, the female ghost had crawled up in front of me, looking at me motionless.

I understand, no wonder the force surnamed Kong can be overthrown so much, it turned out that it was Leng Baoyuan's trickster who betrayed the one surnamed Kong, and rebelled in the den.

The female ghost still repeated: "Why... why..."

I said: "You have the consciousness to do bad things, why don't you have the IQ to do bad things? A dead little devil will not kill the King of Hades, this matter is known to everyone, and he is afraid that you will leak it if the matter is not successful. The only way to keep it secret is to kill you, do you understand?"

The female ghost stared at me blankly.

Pixiu said: "It seems that Leng Baoyuan gave her a lot of medicine, her mind is already confused."

The female ghost grabbed my arm and asked with wide eyes, "Why?"

I sighed, and knew in my heart that no matter what I said, this female ghost would not let go. Although she indirectly harmed the Kong family, she was still being used by others, and the way of death was terrible. I had no choice but to comfort her She said: "This truth is too profound. It doesn't matter if you don't understand it. In the next life, you will read the famous works written by Jin Yong, Gu Long, and Liang Yusheng to broaden your horizons, and then read more humanities and social sciences such as "Friends" and "Story Club". When your IQ reaches a level unmatched in the first 300 years and the next 300 years, you will understand the profound meaning of what I said today."

The female ghost still held my arm and did not let go, looked at me, and said intermittently: "...why...kill me..."

Her hand was so tight that I couldn't break free, so I could only break her hand finger by finger, and finally broke off one hand, and the other hand was broken until there was only one thumb left, and I was relieved. As the hope was approaching, the female ghost yelled "Why!" and grabbed her hand again.

I covered my face in pain.

Pixiu couldn't stand it anymore and said, "Can't you just tear off the sleeves?"

"Nonsense!" I scolded, "Brother never does the thing of cutting off the sleeves! Among other things, this "Jordan Girl" brand suit is out of print. Where can I buy it if it is torn?"

Pixiu said, "Don't tell me you want to save her?"

"No!" I said, "I was thinking that when the sun rises and the employee is full of energy at work, she should take the elevator back by herself."

Pixiu was silent again: "..."

Pixiu and I were talking, when suddenly we loosened our arms, and went to look at the female ghost named Xiaohong, who had already let go and curled up into a ball with her head in fear, "Don't hit me! Don't hit me! "

I didn't expect that someone could make her say a second sentence other than "why". The one was wearing a military uniform, with a thick back and a leather whip hanging from his waist.

Relying on the iconic leather whip, military uniform and stomach with hanging intestines, needless to say, I immediately knew that this was General Kong.

But when these ghosts came, they came so quietly that I didn't even notice it. I was shocked and asked, "If I guessed correctly, you are General Kong? How did you get here?"

This gang of ghosts is scary, obviously I haven't seen anyone so calm, with a look of admiration in their eyes, General Kong nodded appreciatively, and said: "We took the elevator up."

"Don't talk about the elevator." Pixiu couldn't bear it anymore, "They came up when you saw the illusion just now, but you didn't notice it!"

General Kong raised his head, two ghosts beside him stepped forward and dragged the female ghost named Xiaohong to the general.

"Ah!" The female ghost let out a scream and struggled hard.

General Kong took down the whip, flicked a whip in the air, and made two pops, and the female ghost stopped struggling immediately, shaking like a sieve.

General Kong pointed at us and asked the female ghost: "You said that you can recognize that person after reincarnation, so are these two reincarnations of Leng Baoyuan?"

I was startled in my heart, turned my head to look at Wang Liang who was still in a coma, and thought to myself for a while, if General Kong found out that he was Leng Baoyuan's descendant, would he come forward and kill him?
Xiao Hong huddled into a ball and said nothing, General Kong whipped her past, and the female ghost looked at me tremblingly, then at Wang Liang who had fainted, then lowered her head, and said softly: "No, it's not him... "

General Kong threw the whip, walked over and grabbed Xiaohong's hair and shouted: "Your grandpa is a bear! You said you were the one who felt him appearing here, but now that you've seen so many people, you can't tell me you're not?"

The female ghost didn't dare to scream, but shrank into a ball and trembled.I felt sorry for her, so I stepped forward and said, "A little girl, forget it."

"Forget it? Don't think she is pitiful now, but ten thousand times is not a pity. Don't say that my surname Kong bullies women!" General Kong waved his hand and pointed to the ghost beside him, "There are dozens of holes in our Kong family. Human lives were all killed by this woman, if she hadn't been spared to seek revenge from Leng Baoyuan, I would have beaten her to death!"

The female ghost didn't make a sound, just shrank aside and continued to tremble.

After General Kong finished speaking, he was about to slap again. I hurriedly stepped forward and said, "General Kong, do you know Kong Ting?"

General Kong paused, looked at me and said, "That's the name of my daughter... who are you?"

"My name is Ma Shu, and I'm a Taoist priest." I asked, "Do you know where Kong Ting is now?"

General Kong put down his whip and sighed: "She died earlier than us, she should have been reincarnated by now."

I said: "Actually, she hasn't been reincarnated yet, you must not know, she is my neighbor now." After finishing speaking, I briefly explained Kong Ting's current situation again.

General Kong heard tears in his eyes, and cursed loudly: "Leng Baoyuan, that bastard, my daughter's suicide has nothing to do with him. He killed my daughter first, and then my whole family. If you find him He, I have to feed Ling Chi to the dogs!"

I said, "Kong Ting can't remember clearly now. I'll bring her to you someday. Maybe when you father and daughter are reunited, she can remember something."

Speaking of this, I suddenly felt someone's gaze. I turned my head and looked at us. Xiaohong raised her head and looked at us. The eyes met. She shivered again and curled up into a ball again.

General Kong nodded, patted my shoulder and said, "Brother, you are doing me a favor by taking care of my daughter. If you have any troubles in the future, just come to me." After finishing speaking, he waved to his subordinates, "Let's go."

Those ghosts carried Xiaohong and walked out.General Kong nodded to me and said, "I will trouble you about meeting my daughter."

I nodded: "Don't worry!"

General Kong looked at me seriously, but did not move his feet.

I thought he was worried, and repeated: "Don't worry!"

He still doesn't move.

Seeing his serious expression, I muttered in my heart, and said softly, "Goodbye."

General Kong pointed to the ground and said, "Horsepower, you stepped on my intestines."

As soon as I lowered my head, I was stepping on something red, so I quickly moved my foot and put my intestines into his stomach: "I think it's better to put a zipper on your stomach, otherwise, where would the intestines go?" Where does it flow, it doesn't look good."

General Kong nodded: "I will consider it."

At this time, there was only a "ding" sound from the elevator, and then the ghosts outside shouted: "General, hurry up, the elevator is here."

General Kong clutched his intestines, nodded to me, said: "Goodbye." Then he walked away.

As soon as the gang of ghosts went out, the electric lights above their heads suddenly turned on, and the fax machine stopped working at some point, and when they looked at the paper on the floor, there was not a single word in vain.

If Wang Liang was not still lying on the ground, I really felt that I had a dream.

I stared at Wang Liang and asked Pixiu, "Do you think he is Leng Baoyuan?"

Pixiu said: "The female ghost said no."

"She herself is also confused, and she can't believe what she said." I said, "I think I should take him back and let Kong Ting recognize him."

This time the office was clean, and I was so sleepy that I ran to Wang Liang's office and lay down on the sofa to sleep. After lying down for a while, the air conditioner made my body feel chilly.

This building is equipped with central air-conditioning without remote control. I took a quick look and saw Wang Liang lying on the ground. He was still fainting.

When I was in school, Er Gouzi had a crush on the Cuihua next door. Later, Cuihua was abducted by the son of the owner who sold mutton skewers next door. We went shirtless and took bricks to seek revenge at noon in the summer. Er Gouzi just yelled We said "kneel down for brother" and we were about to rush, but before we had time to make a move, the buddy fainted from heatstroke.We wanted to beat him up while he was unconscious, but Qiangzi stopped us and said something very meaningful, he said: "A fainted person is unconscious, so now we can't humiliate him with force." For the purpose, we have to change our strategy and draw bastards on his face!"

I still remember the scene where the son of the owner who sells mutton skewers covered his bastard face and ran away in tears while yelling "grass mud horse".

Since the fainted person was unconscious, I looked at Wang Liang, and he would not feel cold or hot, so it would be a waste for him to wear clothes, so I could take off his clothes and cover myself to sleep.

So I slept very comfortably that night.In the morning, I suddenly felt that someone was pulling my quilt. When I opened my eyes, I saw that Wang Liang had woken up at some point and was sitting on the ground and pulling the clothes that were covering me. I grabbed the clothes and asked, "Do you want it?" If you want it, just say it, if you say you want your clothes, I will definitely give it to you."

Before I finished speaking, I heard someone walking this way while talking: "Wang Liang really worked overtime last night?!"

"Do you think he saw it?"

"Hahaha, he won't resign too?"

Following the sound, several employees came in from the corridor, and then all the sounds stopped. Everyone's eyes were focused on the clothes in the hands of me and Wang Liang, and then turned their heads in unison, looking at me and then at me. For Wang Liang, who was shirtless, I could clearly see that those eyes turned from bewilderment to sudden realization, and the expressions on everyone's faces gradually became rich and meaningful.

"Oh, it's not time for work yet, there are still a few minutes, excuse me, excuse me!" Someone said, and all the staff walked out in unison.

The wall is not soundproof, and I could hear their voices clearly: "Oh, that's why I worked overtime!"

"It's understandable. Isn't a horse called an artist? Artists like it!"

"No wonder, yesterday I saw the two turtles on his butt and felt something was wrong."

"Hey, don't talk about it, think about it carefully, this tortoise really has a special meaning, why do you think it is not one tortoise, but two?"

That being said, if there are three holes in my trousers, Yunmei will definitely embroider three turtles for me!

"In my opinion, those two are male tortoises! And you think, why is the tortoise green? Green symbolizes peace, homosexuals and heterosexuals live in peace, this horse must have made a lot of efforts to fight for gay rights... ..."

I think Yunmei will be very excited if she knows that the green cloth she has left has such a great meaning.

Wang Liang was obviously convinced. He grabbed his clothes with one hand and covered his chest with the other, looking at me in horror.

I gave him a friendly smile, and he shivered.

(End of this chapter)