Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 1

Chapter 24: Reason (4)
Nonsense, can you not doubt it, you have made me believe in science, you are not convincing at all!
"Horsepower, you have to understand that we have spent a lot of effort this time." Don Xiangwang said: "The things written in the book of life and death did not match what actually happened. This matter has attracted the attention of Gou Fugui's leader. Set up a task force, went down to the grassroots, and led all the policemen in the jurisdiction to conduct an in-depth investigation and careful research on this matter, and according to the document issued by Yan Luodian, "Deeply Implement the Thought of the King of Yama, Work Seriously", I have issued instructions to my subordinates, and I must quickly and accurately find out the truth and solve the case as soon as possible..."
It's just the two of you, and you are leading all the policemen in the jurisdiction. The more I listened, the sleepier I became, and I waved my hand and said, "I understand, I understand, you have worked hard! But according to your work efficiency, you have held so many meetings. After so much effort, haven’t found anything yet?”

"Comrade Lei Feng, why don't you say that, we have already found a very important clue... Eh? Comrade Lei Feng, why are you looking at me suspiciously again?"

I said, "The last time I asked you to do me a favor, didn't you say it would take decades? Why is it so fast?"

"This matter has to go up step by step according to the rules and regulations. It will definitely not work, and it will definitely be slow." After Gou Fugui finished speaking, he looked at Wuxiang.

Don't forget to say: "We didn't find out until the end of the investigation, the data administrator of the advanced database is my grandfather..."

No wonder, it turned out that there were people above.I said, "Then what did you find?"

Gou Fugui said: "Comrade Lei Feng, have you heard the saying 'life and death are fate, wealth and honor are in the sky'?"

I nodded and said, "It means that a person's life has a definite number."

"That's right, a person's fate is already determined when he is born." Don Xiangwang said, "It's all predestined, as big as birth, old age, sickness and death, as small as losing a hair, so human beings often see it at the first time. In a certain scene, I felt that such a picture appeared in my mind. It was because the destiny is fixed, and human beings are creatures with strong spirituality, and they will see the future at certain times. And fate is not sloppy at all. A slight difference can lead to huge changes - this kind of change is similar to what you call the 'butterfly effect', so fate cannot be changed."

I said: "But people who study those numerology always talk about changing people's fate. So I heard that there are also legends about changing fate in those fairy tales!"

"How do you know that changing his life is not a step in his planned life?" Wu Xiangwang asked, "How do you know whether the changed life is his real destiny?"

I asked: "Are you saying that the gods deliberately let those charlatans change their lives?"

Gou Fugui nodded: "In fact, those so-called 'fate changes' are also part of the destiny destined by the heavens, and they are not really life changes."

"This God is too naughty!" I said angrily, "Isn't this just playing with people! I thought it was changed, but it hasn't been changed."

"People can't see this when they're alive. As long as they firmly believe that their destiny has changed, it doesn't matter whether the destiny itself changes or not."

"That's true, but it's unreasonable for you to say that. Maybe it's changed, but you don't admit it!" I said, "No one knows what happened that didn't happen. You insist that it was his fate." Li is doomed to be changed by someone, and we are human beings, unlike you who can flip through the book of life and death without any problems, and there is no way to refute it."

"It's not that we don't admit it. We must admit that we have made mistakes. But this kind of thing has never happened before, so now this matter has become very serious." Gou Fugui looked at me seriously and said, "The fate of Leng Baoyuan , was changed!"

"Reformed?" I said, "Don't tell me that he murdered and committed crimes because he changed his life. I don't believe such words."

"Comrade Lei Feng, do you still remember that I told you last time that this matter is serious, is it convenient for me to tell you?" Gou Fugui said, "At that time we discovered that Leng Baoyuan's fate had changed, no, we should say The fate of all the people involved in this is different from my own."

"The relationship between Leng Baoyuan and Kong Ting recorded in the book of life and death is very good. It should be a lifetime of harmony and beauty, and they will stay together until they die." Don Xiangwang said: "No one in the Kong family died by caesarean section. And General Kong Should live to be 70 too."

"But aren't they all dead? You said that fate will not change, life and death are definitely right, and now this is outrageously wrong!" I said, "And Fu Qingcheng has admitted that he is Leng Baoyuan, you just said It's Wang Liang."

"Why these people's fate suddenly changed, we can't figure it out." Wu Xiangwang said, "So we plan to ask that Fu Qingcheng in person."

I said, "Then you are late, he has already been taken away."

"It doesn't matter, we can go to the underworld to ask."

I said anxiously: "Then hurry up and go! Come here and tell me what? Maybe if he doesn't pay attention, he will be poured Mengpo soup, and everything will be forgotten."

"Of course we have to go, but, Comrade Lei Feng, we only knew you were a Taoist priest, but today we know that you are Zhang Tianshi's apprentice. This is different!" Gou Fugui said with a smile: "If this case is settled, We definitely need your help, so today we came to look for you, in fact, we hope you can go to the underworld with us."

I thought back on my life, and when I thought about going to hell, I immediately felt guilty and said, "Who told you that I was Zhang Tianshi's apprentice? That's a rumor! Rumor! Whoever said such irresponsible words! I will beat you up." he!"

Just after finishing speaking, a charming female voice sounded: "I said so."

Sanniang waved her fan and walked over from the corner with a smile on her face, "Brother Ma, I'll go with you."

I said: "Sanniang, you are being unkind. You know that I am busy with advertising business every day, and I don't have time to spare."

Sanniang said sadly: "But I have already promised them, don't you have the heart to let me, a weak girl, go to such a dangerous place?"

Sanniang's words are very modest. I think her kind of weak woman takes a pure man like me to the underworld like a Tyrannosaurus rex with a male mosquito as a helper. The attack power is absolutely zero.

But for a beautiful and charming female tyrannosaurus rex who has strong attack power and has mastered special skills such as acting like a baby, any opposition from male mosquitoes is invalid.

I am different from fox spirits and ghosts. I am a living person. To go to the underworld, I have to separate my soul from my body, so I went back to the small second floor and waited until dark before starting to leave my soul.

Because the two civil servants of the underworld, the process of leaving the soul is very simple. I only saw that Wu Xiangwang took a hook and hooked it, and then his eyes went dark.

I stood at the head of the bed and saw a very handsome man lying on the bed, his eyes closed as if he was asleep.

Gou Fugui said: "Comrade Lei Feng, don't worry, you are still alive."

I felt that my body was very light. I was afraid that some important parts were missing, so I quickly looked down. Although it looked like it was still there, it felt empty to the touch. ?”

Sanniang heard this, covered her mouth with her fan and laughed.

Don't forget to be a secretary, seeing my embarrassed face, he immediately came to smooth things over and said, "It's getting late, let's go."

I immediately took the call and asked, "How do I get there?"

Gou Fugui said: "For the convenience of the public, our government has specially set up stations in various places, just follow us."

I walked with them for more than ten minutes, and Gou Fugui said, "Here we are."

I saw, isn't this the bus stop at the entrance of the village?

As soon as we stood still, a bus drove up at the end of the road. At first glance, it looked no different from an ordinary bus. When we looked closely, we found that the scattered passengers on the bus were all pale, and there were a few missing arms. Legs, head full of blood.

When the bus stopped, the driver turned his head and asked, "It's just right, there are four more seats, can we get on the bus?" As soon as he turned his head, his neck broke, his head fell off, and rolled to my feet, mouth still Keep asking: "Do you take a car? Do you take a car?"

I looked at the car in the ghost world, and suspected that it had no substance, so I stepped on it with one foot, stretched out one foot and stepped on it tentatively.A blind ghost sitting in the front row suddenly tilted his head and sniffed, then pointed at me and San Niang and said, "Wait, I smell the smell of living souls and monsters."

"Souls and monsters?" The driver sitting in the driver's seat shook his hand, and the head under my feet said, "I don't have souls and monsters in this car."

I looked at the two ghost messengers with questioning eyes, and Wu Xiangwang turned his head and said softly to me: "Unlucky, I met a man who repaired the aisle during his lifetime in the car."

Gou Fugui smiled with his belly out: "Comrade driver, please be accommodating, we are on business."

I also lowered my voice and asked Don't Forget: "Can't Sanniang and I go?"

"It is reasonable to say that this car runs through the Nine Realms, and it can pull anything. It turns out that there are still living people who got on the wrong car and couldn't return to the underworld and died directly." Wu Xiangwang said, "But living souls and monsters are different from ordinary people. , monsters and living souls that escape from their shells and go to the underworld have two brushes. The underworld is full of yin, and frequent visits are harmful to your health. But you don’t have to worry, you will be fine if you have the protection of Pixiu. Even if it is normal, no one I have nothing to do to go to the underworld to travel. If I really want to go, it’s nothing more than a petition to make trouble and sue. It’s a big deal, and the leaders are also very annoying. In the end, I must check who brought them here, and those who brought them will also be scolded .” (Petition? Interception?)
"This is such a pity! Hahaha." I was very happy to hear that I could not go, and said repeatedly, "Since we can't go, then Sanniang and I won't dawdle here, and you don't bother to convince them, I will The two went straight back to sleep."

Sanniang glanced at me with anger and shame, picked up the driver's head from the ground with a smile, and said coquettishly, "Master driver, your head fell off." Then she got into the car and handed the driver's head to the driver's body. Eyes bent like crescent moons, flashing a murderous sweet smile: "The head is an important part, master, you have to pay close attention to it, it would be bad if you lose it."

This vixen was already beautiful, with a whining voice and a smile that was alluring, the ghost driver was stunned immediately, his soul had already floated away from his seat, and he stammered, "No, no, no... I won't lose it." It’s right.” Then he pretended to be calm and put his head on his neck, but it was reversed.

Sanniang said again: "Master driver, is it an old problem on your end?"

The ghost driver said: "Well, this problem has been there since he died, how many years!"

Sanniang groaned and frowned slightly: "It's been hard work, and it's too inconvenient!"

The ghost driver sighed, "No way!"

San Niang said: "Master, I know a painted skin girl who is very good at making handwork. I will bring her to sew for you some other day?"

As soon as I heard her say this, I knew she was talking about Yunmei.I thought to myself, isn’t this harmful? She embroidered turtles on my pants, and I can at least change into another pair of pants. If she embroidered two bastards on his neck, wouldn’t the driver be so angry?

But the driver was bewildered by Sanniang's beauty, so he didn't see the huge conspiracy behind this sentence, so he was very happy: "Really? That's great!"

Sanniang said again: "Master driver, we will never cause trouble when we go to the underworld, don't you think there is a ghost escort here? And do you think I look like a troublemaker?"

The ghost driver said straightforwardly: "What else can I say? Get in the car, get in the car."

Sanniang turned her head, blinked at us triumphantly, then got into the car and sat down.

Gou Fugui patted me on the back and said, "Let's go." Then he and Wu Xiangwang stepped up, took out four coins from his pocket and dropped them into the coin box.

The driver said: "Just vote for three tickets, and I will treat the lady."

I was dumbfounded, and after only a few words, the driver gave in!I despise such a man who has no principles and forgets everything when he sees sex!

Sanniang leaned against the window and shouted, "Brother Ma, get in the car."

I secretly spurned the driver again, stepped into the car and sat next to Sanniang.

The car started immediately, and I stared out the window trying to remember this road, thinking that I must take less of it in the future.

As a result, the trees on both sides of the road could still be seen at the beginning, but later it was like driving into a tunnel without lights. It was all dark outside the window, and I couldn't tell the direction.

I couldn't see any difference, so I turned my head and chatted with San Niang, and the bus stopped when the conversation was getting lively.Gou Fugui said to me: "Comrade Lei Feng, we're here."

(End of this chapter)