Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 1

Chapter 9: Die Fairy (2)
"Death is certain," I said, "but if you bring them down, the masses will build a monument to you, forever!" (political sensitive)

I originally wanted to tell a joke to ease the atmosphere, but Feng Li burst into tears after hearing this: "Who wants to be immortal!"

The atmosphere became more serious.

Yan Hao suddenly looked forward and said in surprise, "Hu Yating!"

I looked in the direction he pointed, and sure enough, across the road, Hu Yating was wearing a white dress and was looking at us. She raised her hand and pointed here.

And then just in the blink of an eye, it's gone.

Feng Li asked: "She, what does she mean?"

"She wants to kill us! Kill us all!" Zhang Jiayan yelled in horror.

I said, "Calm down."

"How can you be so calm!" Zhang Jiayan pointed at me and shouted, "It's all your fault! It's all your fault! You must be possessed too, all of you! All of you! I can't be with you! I can't be with you! I'll be killed too!" Then he backed up while talking, then turned around suddenly, and ran away screaming.

Will be killed with us?There is no scientific basis for this statement. Anyone who has watched a lot of ghost movies knows that as long as you leave the group, you will definitely be the next victim.

Ghosts, like wolves, like to attack those who are alone.

Zhang Jiayan stopped a taxi and ran away.

I looked around and saw a brother passing by pushing a motorcycle. In desperation, I grabbed the handlebar and was about to step up.

The brother held the handlebar tightly, never letting go, and looked at me cautiously.

I said, "I'm rushing to save people!"

The man looked at me suspiciously.

I was quick to think, and whispered: "We are making a movie."

The brother punched him: "Grandpa! (Uncivilized language) You can't change the wording, I was fooled by this saying and took three motorcycles!"

Feng Li and Yan Hao stopped a taxi next to them, turned their heads and shouted, "Horsepower! Horsepower!"

After getting into the car, Feng Li looked at my face and asked strangely, "Why are your eyes blue?"

I said solemnly: "Ghosts and gods are causing trouble."

When he arrived at Zhang Jiayan's house, Yan Hao rushed up and rang the doorbell frantically.

The doorbell rang for a long time, but still no one opened the door.

"Is something wrong?" Feng Li asked anxiously.

The soul of Ah Huang in the house was still barking wildly, I said loudly: "Zhang Jiayan, open the door and let us in, I am a Taoist priest, I can cast down ghosts and demons, I will definitely not harm you!"

With a "creak", the wooden door behind the anti-theft door opened.

"You...get lost..." Zhang Jiayan's voice was trembling, gloomy, "I know you all want to kill me, but in fact you all want me to die... Go away, you are all possessed, you want to kill me , go away..."

Yan Hao said: "Zhang Jiayan! Calm down!"

"I won't be killed by you!" With Zhang Jiayan's shout, the door was closed with a bang.

The three of us looked at each other.

"How?" I asked.

"You can't ignore her." Yan Hao said, "You keep saying that you are a Taoist priest, so there is no way to protect her?"

A flash of inspiration came to my mind, and I suddenly remembered the big boxes in the room of the bearded Taoist priest on the second floor.

Since the bearded man is a Taoist priest, the box must be his crime, no, it is a tool for practice.

There is definitely something that can exorcise evil spirits!
Thinking of this, I hurried downstairs and decided to go back and open the box to have a look.

As soon as I got downstairs, a girl in a white skirt suddenly flashed by the entrance of the building.

Hu Yating!
I took a few steps down the stairs, but I couldn't see anyone again.

"Hu Yating? Hu Yating?" Is this playing hide and seek?After coming out for a while, I opened my mouth and shouted, "Hu Yating? I saw you, come out, don't play peek-a-boo with me, it's not good to play peek-a-boo, it's easy to die suddenly."

I called out several times, but still no one came out. I was worried and asked Pixiu, "Can you help me protect the two people above?"

Pixiu said: "Yes, but I can only protect them within a certain range." Then Pixiu turned into a white light and rushed up the stairs.I ran up to look, and a fluorescent circle appeared under Feng Li and Yan Hao's feet, just enclosing them.

I pointed to the circle and said, "Don't leave this circle."

"Circle?" Yan Hao looked down strangely, "What circle?"

It turned out that they couldn't see it, so I said, "Anyway, just don't move."

Then I went downstairs and pedaled my bicycle to the small second floor.Along the way, the bicycle was racing like lightning, and there were countless overtakes. When it was over a gallop, the driver poked his head out and scolded: "Damn, (uncivilized term) it's you again!"

Back at the door of the house, I saw two ghosts, Gou Fugui and Wu Xiangwang walking this way. Wu Xiangwang was holding a small notebook in one hand and a pen in the other, not knowing what he was writing down.

Gou Fugui waved to me from a distance: "Comrade Lei Feng, Comrade Lei Feng, I have something to trouble you. I am doing a ghost survey and found that a new ghost has disappeared in the past few days. Do you know the situation?"

I said, "I don't understand!" and rushed into the room.

Gou Fugui said, "It's a high school student named Zhao Yi."

I just rushed through the door, when I heard this name, I stopped abruptly, turned my head and asked, "Who are you talking about?"

Don't forget to open the notebook and read: "Zhao Yi, male, 17 years old, Class 21, Grade [-], City No. [-] Middle School, unmarried and childless, born on November [-], [-], died on [-] Year zero..."

I was too lazy to listen to his long series of reports, so I interrupted and asked, "Did he go to reincarnation?"

"He didn't die a natural death, he wasn't on the soul arrest list, and the ghost guards wouldn't take him back to the underworld." Wu Xiangwang asked, "Comrade Ma, have you seen him?"

I shook my head.

Gou Fugui said: "Then I can only pretend to be a missing ghost." Then with a swipe of a pen, he wrote the word "missing" on the booklet, nodded to me to express his gratitude, and got ready to leave.

"Hey..." I quickly pulled him back, "You don't care about that?"

If Zhao Yi's soul is found, everything will be clear.

Gou Fugui said: "I will report this matter and wait for the higher authorities to set up a task force to investigate."

I said, "How long will that take?"

"Soon," Gou Fugui said, "about ten years."

By then, Zhang Jiayan, Feng Li, and Yan Hao were all gone!

I said: "Now that the person died not long ago, and it is still fresh, I have to investigate it quickly."

Gou Fugui and Wu Xiangwang glanced at each other, and Wu Xiangwang said, "Comrade Ma, we haven't finished the ghost census yet."

I said: "If this matter is found out, it will be your political achievement."

Gou Fugui hesitated and said, "But we don't have any clues now."

I hastened to talk about the things of the last few days.

"Lawless, the ghosts ran to harm people, this situation is very serious!" Gou Fugui was filled with righteous indignation, he raised his hand and wanted to pat the table, but there was no table next to him, so he patted his stomach bitterly and said, "This situation is very serious. Seriously!"

We were talking here when we suddenly heard someone shout: "Ghost messenger, ghost messenger."

I turned my head and saw an old face full of ravines. The owner of the face pointed at Gou Fugui and shouted nervously: "Ghost messenger, ghost messenger."

It was the old lady I met by the river that day.

"Mom, what are you looking at? There's no one there." Her son ran over quickly, gave me a strange look, and pulled me away.

"This old lady has been crazy for decades." Wu Xiangwang flipped through the book and said, "Her son is adopted, and the two are not related by blood."

The old lady seemed to be able to see things that ordinary people couldn't see.

I lost my train of thought, turned back immediately, and asked, "How about it, can you find Zhao Yi's soul?"

"According to the situation you said, Zhao Yi should have been killed by the evil spirit." Gou Fugui said, "So he is likely to be controlled by the evil spirit after his death. His soul... should be imprisoned in the evil spirit. Near the ghost."

I was startled, thinking of the three people in the city again, I hurried into the house and ran to the second floor, Gou Fugui and Wu Xiangwang also ran in.The female ghost with a long tongue was walking on the second floor, and happened to have a face-to-face meeting with the two ghost messengers. Gou Fugui glanced at the hanged ghost, and said to Don't Forget: "Remember, this is a black household."

I was picking at the box in the bearded Taoist priest's room. The box was covered with dust, and it was black with a touch of my hand. Inside the box were some things like mahogany swords and bells.I carried the sword on my back, and saw that there were a few talismans below, and I put them in my pocket.

After putting it away, I ran out again, and saw Gou Fugui with his hands behind his back and his stomach puffed out, staring at me as if inspecting.Don't Forget next to him is also holding his glasses, stretching his neck to watch attentively.

"What are you looking at?"

Gou Fugui said, "Turn around, turn around."

I turned around, and heard Gou Fugui say yes, and turned around again, only to see a white ball in Wuxiangwang's hands, a smoke-like void shape, but it gathered and never dispersed.

"what is this?"

"It's the soul of a person. It's almost dispersed and can't take human form."

"Is this also a black household?" Gou Fugui pointed to the soul and asked, "Comrade Lei Feng, you can't do it, you have raised so many black households, can't you! You still have to apply for a household registration!"

"No." Wu Xiangwang narrowed his eyes to look at the soul, "This should be a living soul, the master is not dead yet."

"It seems to be a woman!" Gou Fugui asked, "Who is it?"

"The soul is scattered too much, and I can't find all the information."

"It's the one who came back with Brother Xiaoma that day. She should be only sixteen or seventeen years old. She's a girl." Sanniang's voice sounded from downstairs, "I thought it was strange when I saw her that day. After hearing what you said, she should It is the main body being possessed and squeezed out."

Possession?I was shocked, could it be Hu Yating's soul!
"The living soul can't survive long without the body, and now it seems that the person's seven souls and six souls have lost three souls and two souls." Sanniang said, "If you don't send it back to the body in time, it will never go back. "

When I heard this, it was fine!After catching the soul, he got on his bicycle and ran back.

With the experience of the previous few times, the wheels of the bicycle were stepped on like Hot Wheels by me.

After getting off the bicycle, I stepped up the stairs in three steps and two steps. Feng Li and Yan Hao stood in place.

Pixiu turned into a white light again, turned into a pendant again and returned to my chest, I asked, "Have you seen Hu Yating again?"

"No." Feng Li asked, "What's wrong?"

I roughly told the story, Yan Hao said: "It turns out that she is really possessed, but where are we going to find her?"

I said, "Since she wants to harm you, she won't go far. I'll look around."

Yan Hao and Feng Li said in unison: "I will go with you."

"No." I shook my head and said, "There must be one person here, in case something happens to Zhang Jiayan."

"Then, then I'll stay." Feng Li said, "She doesn't want to open the door when you are here, but I have a good relationship with her. If I'm alone, talk to Yanyan, she might let me in."

It's obviously not good to let a girl stay here, I was hesitating when I heard Pai Yao ask, "Where's the talisman you're wearing?"

I quickly took out the talisman from my pocket and showed it to Pai Yao, who said, "The two top ones are mother and son talismans, you take the mother talisman and give her the child talisman, and you can see her condition."

I gave the small one to Feng Li, and sure enough, I saw a faint picture appearing on the other talisman in my hand.

That way, if anything happens, we'll be back in time.

After thinking about it, I was still uneasy, so I handed the mahogany sword on my body to Feng Li for protection, and then I went out with Yan Hao in peace.

As soon as he walked out of the building, he heard the doorbell ringing from the spell in his hand.

"You are really good!" Yan Hao said convincingly.

In my heart, I felt that Zhang Laodao's things were really amazing, and on the surface he kept his expression on the ground: "Of course, I am a Taoist priest!"

Feng Li pressed Zhang Jiayan's doorbell: "Yanyan, it's me, they're all gone, I'm alone now, let me in."

Zhang Jiayan's voice sounded from behind the door: "I don't believe it...you are not a good person either!"

"Yanyan, trust me, don't we have a good relationship? I won't harm you."

Zhang Jiayan asked suspiciously: "Really?"

"Really." Feng Li said, "We've been playing together for so long, you have to believe me! The two of us are together, and we have someone to help you, let me in!"

Zhang Jiayan said vigilantly: "What is that in your hand? You want to kill me with it?"

Feng Li looked at the mahogany sword and said, "If you don't let me take it, I won't take it." Then she stood the sword by the door, spread her hands and said, "Look."

After a long silence, the anti-theft door finally opened with a "crack".

Feng Li breathed a long sigh of relief, said with a smile, "That's right!" Then she stepped into the room.

After she stepped into the house, she closed the anti-theft door casually. At this moment, the mahogany sword standing next to her fell down and blocked the door.

Seeing that Zhang Jiayan finally let Feng Li into the house, Yan Hao and I both breathed a sigh of relief.

There were two girls talking in the spell, and Yan Hao and I didn't listen too much. We walked around the building and continued to look for Hu Yating.

As soon as I reached the corner, a faint female voice suddenly came from my ear: "It's not me..."

I was taken aback, and turned to look at Yan Hao, who also looked at me with wide eyes: "Just now, was it Hu Yating's voice?"

Before I finished speaking, I saw a woman in a white skirt running in front of me. Yan Hao and I quickly chased after her. The woman ran into the building of Zhang Jiayan's house and disappeared like air.

Yan Hao shouted: "Oh no, will she go to trouble them!"

Pixiu said: "Master Zhang's mahogany sword is against the door, evil spirits and ghosts cannot enter." I repeated it to Yan Hao, and then the two of us moved cautiously into the building.

Yan Hao suddenly asked: "What do you think is that?"

I looked in the direction he pointed, and there was a mass of newspaper under the shadow in the corner, and there seemed to be living things moving underneath.

I walked over and kicked it with my foot, only to hear a "meow", a big black cat jumped out from under the newspaper and ran away.

"Black cat?" Yan Hao said, "What a bad luck!"

I asked: "It's just a cat, what's bad luck?"

Yan Hao said: "Seeing a black cat is unlucky, and something will happen. The old people in the family say it is a disaster."

"Cats are spirit beasts." Pai Xiu said, "Especially black cats are more sensitive to evil spirits, they can seek good fortune and avoid evil, so the appearance of black cats does not bring disasters, but a sign that the place is not peaceful and something will happen."

After hearing Pixiu's words, I stood still suddenly, and a possibility flashed like lightning in my mind: "It turns out that Hu Yating is a black cat!"

Yan Hao asked strangely: "What did you say?"

"Why did I just find out now!" I explained, "It's really not Hu Yating who was possessed. Hu Yating appeared just to tell us that we are in danger!"

Yan Hao froze for a moment and asked, "What evidence do you have?"

"Hey, what evidence do you need!" I patted my head and said, "Isn't this obvious? Think about it, the person who is suspected the most in detective and horror movies is definitely not the murderer! Put it on Hu Yating, so it must not be her!"

Yan Hao obviously didn't believe my words, his face was distorted: "Nonsense! Who else is it?"

"I don't know." Recalling the words of the male student and Gou Fugui, I said, "I only know it's a woman."

As soon as these words came out, Yan Hao and I were stunned, and our eyes moved to the talisman in my hand.

The conversation between Feng Li and Zhang Jiayan was at an embarrassing stage. The former ignored what the latter said. Feng Li fanned the wind with her hand in embarrassment, and said with a dry smile, "It's so boring, why don't you open the window to get some air?"

After finishing speaking, he walked to the window and drew the curtains, and opened the window.

Zhang Jiayan silently followed behind her, looking at her gloomyly: "Are you really trying to harm me?"

"What did you say?" Feng Li smiled and opened the window again, "What did I do to you?"

She smiled happily, but Yan Hao and I broke out in a cold sweat. Zhang Jiayan slowly raised it, holding a sharp knife in the hand that had been hidden behind her back.

"You lied!" With Zhang Jiayan's roar, the knife stabbed down!
The stabbing was so fast and hard that Yan Hao and I stopped breathing, and almost decided that Feng Li would be stabbed.

Unexpectedly, Feng Li quickly dodged the blow and jumped aside.

"Yanyan, what are you doing?" Feng Li exclaimed.

"You still say you are not possessed?" Zhang Jiayan stared at Feng Li, the tip of the knife in her hand gleamed coldly, "If you are not possessed, how can you avoid my knife?"

Feng Li said: "Glass, you can see it on the glass of the window!"

"You liar!" Zhang Jiayan yelled hysterically, "You sent them away just to come in and kill me!"

"Don't talk nonsense!" Feng Li said, "I didn't!"

"I don't believe it!" Zhang Jiayan yelled, and the knife fell from her hand again.

"Ah!" Feng Li quickly turned around and ran towards the gate. After running two steps, one leg gave way and fell down.

Zhang Jiayan took the knife and walked towards Feng Li step by step.

Yan Hao and I ran upstairs and shouted, "Get out, get out!"

"Help! Help!" Feng Li crawled towards the door using hands and feet.

She was about to reach the door, but the moment her hand touched the mahogany sword, she stopped, and then her body moved in the opposite direction as if being dragged by something.

"You still say you're not possessed!" Zhang Jiayan yelled, "You still say it's not you!"

Seeing this scene, Yan Hao and I suddenly felt hairy.

Yan Hao asked tremblingly: "The two of them, who is possessed?"

Feng Li screamed and struggled, as if someone was dragging her hard.

And that point of application, but nothing!

Who is possessed?

I was sweating a lot.Suddenly, Pixiu's voice was heard: "I can't even see this level of things! Concentrate on seeing!"

I concentrated my energy on looking at it again, and when I brushed it on my back, it was as thin and numb as if an electric current had passed through it, and the fine hairs stood up.

Beside Feng Li, someone grabbed her feet firmly, preventing her from moving towards the door.

It was a man, about seventeen or eighteen years old, and he was very strong.

It was Zhao Yi who had died!
"Ah! Ah!" Feng Li cried while struggling, "Help, help!"

At this time, Zhang Jiayan had already walked to her side, raising her hand to stab her down.

Feng Li covered her face and yelled, "Ah Huang!"

Hearing an "Aww", Ah Huang's soul, who had been imprisoned in the kitchen all this time, rushed out like an arrow, and bit Zhang Jiayan's wrist forcefully.

"Mad dog! What are you doing!" Zhang Jiayan shook her hand in pain, and the knife in her hand fell to the ground.

Yan Hao and I rushed in, I kicked Zhao Yi away and protected Feng Li.Zhao Yi wanted to catch Feng Li, but Pixiu turned into a prototype and jumped on him, restraining him firmly.

Yan Hao still stood at the door and shouted: "Who is it? Who is it? Who is possessed?"

I pointed to Zhang Jiayan and said, "Isn't that obvious?"

Zhang Jiayan waved her hand, Ah Huang bumped into the wall, and disappeared in an instant.

Yan Hao said in surprise: "You are the one who is possessed?"

Zhang Jiayan looked at us fiercely: "What nonsense! It's you who are possessed! It's you!"

Pixiu's voice sounded in my head: "Her mind has been completely controlled by the evil spirit."

I was surprised, so what should I do?
Pixiu continued: "Don't provoke her, get close to her first, and then restrain her with a spell."

It's a great conversation, brainwave messages that only we can hear.

That's right, I thought to myself, this is the best way, so I pretended to be relaxed and smiled: "Zhang Jiayan, don't get excited, if you don't believe them, you have to believe me, I didn't play Die Xian with you, so I'm sure You won't be possessed, you have to trust me, right."

Zhang Jiayan looked at me viciously: "You are not a good person! You are with them! You want to harm me too!"

I said, "You have to trust me, I am a Taoist priest."

Zhang Jiayan said: "You keep saying that you are a Taoist priest, what proof do you have?"

"Of course, I'll show you if you don't believe me." I slowly approached her, and she moved back vigilantly.

I said, "Why are you so nervous? I'll show you the Taoist qualification certificate."

"Qualification certificate?" Zhang Jiayan was stunned.

(End of this chapter)