Engraved crush time

Chapter 18 Love is a burning lamp, we are all moths (4)

I walked back to the store to handle the day's accounts, which is my daily homework.Because there were no customers, I asked the staff to leave work early and go back to rest.The empty milk tea shop became quiet and deserted. I didn't like this desertedness, so I turned on the stereo to play Liu Ruoying's song.Her songs always make me feel at peace, and I can't say why.I tapped on the keyboard to check the business status, and it was still a miserable record of "losing soldiers and generals".I sighed, thinking about how to send an email to Sister Liu to explain to her.Just then, a shadow fell, blocking the light in front of me.I was startled, raised my head suddenly, and saw a grimace, which made my heart jump with fear.

"You are sick!" I opened my mouth and cursed.

Tang Qiming just smiled, "I'm just joking with you, who knew you were so timid."

"Do you think everyone is as shameless as you?" When I thought of the coffee that Miss Wang spilled on my face, all my peace was gone.

"Didn't I just make a face with you, how could I be shameless?" He argued.

"You know it in your heart." I ignored him, I was afraid that if this continued, I would be furious.

"I don't know, I don't know at all." He compared the truth with me.

"Now you are not only shameless, but also brazen."

"You are really..." He frowned and looked at me. "It's really biting Lu Dongbin. I can't get through to you, so I came out to look for you out of kindness. It's good for you to scold me when you see me. How did I offend you?"

"Tang Qiming, you don't have to be hypocritical to me. You don't have to be like this, I'm not a three-year-old child, just give me a piece of candy to coax me." My tone was very calm, even when I said these words, my There is still a smile on the corner of the mouth, the sky before the storm is like this, very calm.

"Jiang Hui!"

"Okay, since you're so forgetful, I'll tell you. Anyway, I've had enough of this game, and it's time for us to end it."

"What did you say?" He interrupted me, "What is a game, what is it that we should end?"

"Our so-called marriage certificate, our so-called marriage, should be over, you should go back to your world, and I should live my own life, as if we didn't know each other at all, living on our own."

"Jiang Hui, are you crazy?"

I laughed, "Isn't this the result you want? Why bother, it's already this time, you don't need to pretend in front of me anymore."

He looked at me dejectedly, eyes that I couldn't figure out.In fact, I am too lazy to think about it. I am tired of always thinking about other people's thoughts, and I am also tired. This is really meaningless.So, I simply don't think about anything, just face it calmly.

"Jiang Hui, I didn't expect you to say that to me, I really didn't expect that." He smiled wryly and shook his head.

"I didn't expect you to treat me like this. Obviously enough of me, you still don't want to say it in person, but let your old friend come forward to solve it. Tang Qiming, I misunderstood you, you are so hypocritical."

"Whatever you say, I have a clear conscience."

"Of course you will have a clear conscience, because this is the result you want. How can you have a clear conscience? Your starting point and your position are all based on yourself. If you determine a certain result, you will naturally ignore it. Everything will be spared. So there is nothing to be ashamed of in itself.”

"Jiang Hui..." He slapped the table furiously, then glared at me and said, "If you really think so, then please tell me your reasons, I don't want to be wronged by you in a muddle."

His face was flushed, I was intimidated by his appearance, he had never been like this in front of me, he was always the quiet boy.I even began to doubt my own judgment, but if it wasn't him, who else could it be?Who else knows my "marriage certificate" with him?There is no one left, and this person can only be him.

"Do you know Miss Wang?"

"Miss Wang? Who are you talking about? Wang Xinrui?" He frowned and looked at me.

It seems that my judgment is not bad, otherwise how could he react so quickly?I suddenly felt a pressure in my heart, making me breathless, so I turned around and poured a glass of water, and drank it in big gulps.Tang Qiming stopped talking, he lowered his face, I couldn't see his eyes, but when I finished drinking the water, I heard his low voice: "Go, let's go home."

I put down my glass and didn't want to talk anymore. The facts were in front of me, and no amount of arguing would be futile.So, I slowly convinced myself to accept this fact in my heart.Originally, it was a humble fate, incomparable to other people's delicacy and arrogance.Life has taught me the most about bowing my head, bowing my head in front of Jiang Caiwen, bowing my head when being insulted, bowing my head when bearing the weight of life... I am weak on Weibo, unable to resist, so I can only learn to bow my head.Such sorrow I can swallow alone.

We returned to our rented "home" from the milk tea shop, and none of us spoke again.After I changed my shoes, I went into the bedroom and locked the door. I didn't want to face him or argue with him.It's always like this, I'm used to silently hiding in the dark when I bear a certain weight.In this way, no one will see my misery and tears. Those are the evidence of my lingering breath. I don't want to publish them in the eyes of others, and I don't ask for their sympathy.No one will empathize with you, they will only express emotion and compassion from their own perspective, but in fact, it is because they do not understand what real suffering is.What kind of suffering is pain that can be described?
The whole house was very quiet, only the sound of running water came from the bathroom, intermittently.I knew without thinking that it was Tang Qiming taking a bath.People who live under the same roof have delicate feelings.The biggest transmission link of this subtlety is sound.It was the same when I lived with Jiang Caiwen. I could hear the trivial sounds she made every day. Later, I gradually got used to the company of these sounds, and I no longer felt lonely in the lonely night.

The sound of running water rang for a long time.In my memory, this should be the longest time he spent in the shower.I even began to wonder if he had fallen asleep and forgot to turn off the shower.If it was before, I would definitely knock on the door to remind him not to waste water resources, but tonight, I don't have the energy and mood, I just lie on the bed motionless panting.After a while, the sound of running water finally stopped, and the sound of walking came from the living room. A few seconds later, there was a heavy closing sound of the door. After that, I couldn't hear anything.Because of this, I suddenly felt a little lost.

I started trying to remember something.People are always like this, they are used to filling certain gaps with memories, no matter how long or short the memories are, they can always find a short-term home.Destination is very vague. It is not a specific house or a destination, but a certain kind of dependence.At least that was the purpose of my "marriage certificate" with Tang Qiming at the beginning. I was too insecure and had no sense of belonging, so I couldn't wait to find a destination that would free me from the sea of ​​suffering and allow me to live again.However, now I realize that I was wrong. The mistake is that I entrusted the "home" to others. In the end, I still have no home and no sense of security.

The next morning, it was Yang Shanshan's call that woke me up.I was drowsy, my thoughts were still unfinished, and even my voice was extremely tired.But Yang Shanshan was different, her voice was cheerful.

"Jiang Hui, you are so lazy, you are still asleep after ten o'clock!"

I hugged the phone and said deliriously, "Yeah."

"Are you coming to school this morning?"

"Ah."

"You 'um' what 'um', are you coming or not?" She was obviously aware of my drowsiness.

"Yang Shanshan, let's talk about it later, I just want to sleep now." My voice was hoarse.

"There will be no chance any later." She said, "A bank is coming to our hospital to recruit two interns. You know, this is a good opportunity. So, you'd better come here quickly, and let's try it out together. luck."

"Yeah." I said holding the phone.

"Did you understand?"

"I see. You go, I don't want to go, I just want to sleep."

"It's hopeless. Sleep to death." Yang Shanshan hung up the phone after finishing speaking.

I turned over, but the sleepiness was gone in an instant.So, I got up from the bed, and when I opened the door, I realized that the room was empty and Tang Qiming was not at home.

This is the first time I opened my eyes without seeing Tang Qiming and a steaming breakfast. I think I have to get used to such days, just like I am used to loneliness.

(End of this chapter)