leave this sad place

Chapter 131 Disgust
"It's late at night." A voice like the sigh of the evening wind scattered.In this silent night, such a voice is an indescribable loneliness.

Ouyang felt a slight prick in his heart. He knew that the "poisonous snake" had started to bite his blood again, but he didn't know how to get rid of it. This feeling appeared again and again inexplicably, Always made him very uncomfortable.

He looked up again, and the starry sky was still shining brightly, like a pretty face with a charming smile, which made his eyes dyed with a hint of obsession unconsciously.

His footsteps paused, his somewhat blurred eyes regained their black and bright color, and he knew that he was imagining again.

He gently opened the door, and the roommates had already fallen asleep.

He turned on the desk lamp, opened the textbook, and closed it again.He stood there quietly, motionless, and the snoring sounded like thunder again.His heart, which was already a little disturbed, became even more disturbed now, scattered all over his heart like velvet caught by a cat.

Exhausted, this villain who fell into trouble and sneaked in came up like a tide, making his head even more dizzy.He knew it was time for him to rest.

"Just take it as a day off for yourself." He put the textbooks back where they were, and now he has no energy to read them.He glanced at the lamp again, but did not turn it off.

As soon as he turned around, he looked at the starry sky outside the window with tender eyes, said "good night" softly, and turned off the desk lamp behind him.

He slowly closed his eyes, but he didn't feel a trace of sleepiness, but there was still a very painful feeling in his head.The heart became even more messy, as if it had been torn into strands of silk thread, then mixed together indiscriminately, and stuffed into the chest.

"Why is this so?" He stroked his chest lightly, and the familiar tingling sensation came back again.

Disgust, a new emotion for no reason jumped out!
He lay quietly on the bed, thinking quietly again.

Suddenly, I found that there seemed to be too many, too many things I hated.

He hates teachers and classmates, feeling that they isolate himself and make him feel extremely lonely; he also hates these so-called studies, which make him repeat the same thing every day, which is so monotonous and boring that he panics, and he I had to force myself to continue like this.How could such a feeling make him not disgusted?
"What else?" In the quiet night, his heart asked quietly again.Because he knew that if there were really only these things, he would never feel this way, after all, he was used to entertaining himself and comforting himself.

What else?He thought again.There is also the snoring in this bedroom. Although snoring is a natural reaction of some human beings, he has told himself more than once to forgive them.But for Ouyang who can be awakened by a gust of wind, how can he sleep peacefully in such an environment?Moreover, patience still seemed to have a limit. It had been almost two years, and his patience was about to reach its limit.How does this make him not disgusted?

"What else?" Xin asked calmly again, he felt that his head seemed to be guided by another extremely clear thought.

What else?His eyes dimmed, as if caught in memories.Maybe there is also Chen Cheng, who has endured for a long time when sitting next to each other.Always loves to tempt him with games from time to time, and often interrupts his thinking when he is thinking in class, and he forgives Chen Cheng again and again.But what about Chen Cheng?Chen Cheng seemed to have taken his forgiveness for granted.How could he not feel disgusted by such a tablemate?

"What else?" The heart still asked calmly, or to be more precise, another kind of thought asked himself calmly.

Will there be more?His brows were wrinkled, and the door of memory was quietly pushed open.He stood helplessly in the hall of memory like a dwarf the size of an ant, and was shocked to find that there was a trace of disgust in every inch of his memory.

"What else?" He felt that the voice that sounded in his mind seemed to have a kind of magic power, which made him want to revisit his memory involuntarily.

"What else?" It was the same voice again!It actually made him feel the slightest bit of fear, and his heart trembled suddenly.With his trembling hands, he opened the gate of memory bit by bit.

"What else?" This time he clearly felt that the voice came from a devil living in his mind. This devil was about to control him and was causing him endless pain.

What else do you hate?His brows frowned even deeper, as if he was enduring incomparably great pain.

What else do you hate?What could there be to hate?Is there any more?
Have!
Why not?

His father, doesn't he hate it?Doesn't he hate that guy who wasted money when he was very young and spent his money on other women?Doesn't he hate the guy who beat him wantonly when he was very young?Doesn't he hate that guy who hasn't fulfilled the duty of "father" since he was a child?How can he not be disgusted!
But, he is his father!No matter how disgusted, disgusted, or even hated, he is still his father!

"What else?" The devil's voice sounded again, and he felt as if he had returned to the time when he was locked up in a dark room as a child.Surrounded by darkness, you can't see your fingers, and the silence that drowns everything is trying to create monsters in this darkness?How many monsters like this are hiding in the darkness?Or is it enough to create an invisible monster called "Dread"?
What else?Will there be more?What else?Ouyang frowned tightly showing a painful expression.How could there be more?how could be?

But what about his parents?

What about the parents who brought him into this world but couldn't give him a real warm home?What about the parents who brought him into this world without giving him a little parental love?What about the parents who brought him into this world, but only gave him endless pain?Doesn't he hate it?Does he really not feel disgusted?But can he hate it?How could he be disgusted?What could he hate?What reason can he come up with to hate the person who gave him life?
But why does it hurt?Why does the heart hurt? ..
Wouldn't it be great if I didn't have my heart, never feel sad again, never feel such pain again?

"What else?" The devil's voice was colder than a piece of ice!Ouyang, whose heart was full of contradictions, sadness, and pain, was almost driven crazy by this voice.

and also?What else?What, what!

"anything else?"

"anything else?"

"anything else?"

A tight sentence sounded in Ouyang's mind, like thunder after another exploding in Ouyang's mind.The last sentence rang out all over the place, as if tens of thousands of people were surrounding Ouyang saying the same words, and it seemed as if a pile of thunder exploded, bringing the world back to chaos again!

and also?

and also?

And myself!

Ouyang seemed to let out an angry cry!

"And myself!" The world miraculously returned to calm, and the magic sound no longer sounded.

"And myself." Ouyang's voice became low, the most hated person, how could he really forget himself?
The person who is so stupid that he has a crush on a girl for five or six years and never confesses; the person who is so stupid that he is misunderstood by his friends and never explains; the person who is so stupid that he lost his first love without knowing the reason ;The person who was so stupid to wake up after missing the person he should really love.How could he not be disgusted?
What kind of sorrow is there for a person who loathes himself?
Ouyang's frowning brows gradually relaxed, and at this moment he was miraculously relieved.

"What about God? Don't I hate its injustice?" He turned over, and this was the last thought he had when he fell asleep tonight.

(End of this chapter)