leave this sad place

Chapter 133 Confession
"Relief?" He raised the corner of his mouth with a hint of sarcasm.He knew that what he lacked was not courage, but a reason.

"Why did you die? Because of your own pain? Because you don't want to bear this pain anymore?" The sarcasm at the corner of his mouth became more and more obvious.

"Is it because of my own cowardice?" His heart trembled slightly, and he closed his eyes sadly, feeling a little sad for himself. He even had the courage to face death, but he lost the faith to face life.

"But why is my heart still heavy and in pain?" Such a real question lay before his eyes, which made him wonder.How can all this be explained by cowardice?How can someone who doesn't even care about death be cowardly?

He wanted to laugh, and moved the corners of his mouth, but couldn't make a sound.Such questions still linger in his heart, oppressing him, and making him feel a little difficult to breathe.

"What is the reason that makes me so heavy?" He thought about it and still couldn't find the answer.If it could be solved so easily, how could it cause him such pain?
The days still passed day by day, but Ouyang's heart became heavier and heavier.

His head was in a mess, he couldn't manage his thoughts, and he didn't have any mood to study; he had no appetite, no matter what he ate, it was like chewing wax; he didn't want to speak, and he didn't have the strength to speak.He didn't know what he was doing and what to do at all!

Reason receded bit by bit like a tide, and sensibility slowly gained the upper hand, and he seemed to be different again.

"Why is that so?" He asked feebly.He couldn't remember how many times he had asked himself such a question, but he still couldn't get the slightest answer. He closed his eyes helplessly, feeling a little deeply tired.

"Only I know when I'm tired, and I can only bear the pain by myself." He wanted to cry, but even more wanted to laugh——to laugh.

"How sad! When I was in grief, I couldn't find anyone to talk to!" He seemed to be sobbing madly, but he didn't make that choking sound, but his eyes were slightly red.

At this moment, he clearly felt that he had returned to the previous emotional state, but he did not try to stop it.

"Hahaha——" He laughed unscrupulously, but he didn't know the reason, and he didn't want to know anything.Maybe this is just to release my emotions.

"Hahaha——" He smiled, but there were tears in his eyes, falling drop by drop, but he didn't wipe it with his hands.

"Hahaha——" He laughed, but his voice became lower and lower, and slowly seemed to be crying.

"Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuto "Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

"Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" no matter how tightly he hugged his arms.

"Why?" He raised his head and stared at the sky above, staring at it with eyes full of hatred.But the face was covered with tears, like a series of hideous wounds.

"Why are you stingy and refusing to give me a little warmth?" His words were so ridiculous, even so childish, but his voice was so pure that it made people feel heavy.

"Why!" He felt that he was about to collapse on the ground, but he straightened his spine.

"Hehe, hehe." He twitched the corners of his mouth, mocking nervously, but he didn't even know who the target of the ridicule was.Is it himself, or God, or something else?But what does it matter?

"If I really went crazy, how wonderful it would be! I don't have to think about it anymore, I don't have to worry about it anymore, I don't get hurt anymore." With a sudden sigh, he seemed to be in this moment Has he returned to normal; or has he always been normal at all, but the behavior just now was completely faked?But who is he pretending to be?Is it the wind that blows, or the clouds that pass by, or is it the sky or yourself?
But the tear stains were still clearly hanging on his face.

"So I really still have so many tears to shed." He touched his face with his hands, brushing away the tears.His voice was more like a sigh, a sad, desolate sigh.

"Why is my heart still heavy?" He murmured, the light in his eyes dimmed again.He thought it would be better in the future, but he still had extravagant hopes.

"Did I make a mistake again?" He knew it, but he didn't want to admit it.What he had just done did not relieve himself much pain.

There was a hint of sarcasm at the corner of his mouth again, laughing at himself like a clown jumping on the beam, so ridiculous, so funny!

His heart was still as heavy as an iron stone, and he was as silent as an iron stone.

The answer he was looking for, the answer to why his heart became so heavy and depressed, still didn't have a trace.

"The final exam is less than a month away. In addition to working hard to review, what I want to tell you is not to have too much pressure. If you really have any troubles in your heart, you can come to the office to find Me, tell me, and let me analyze it for you." The head teacher was mobilizing on the podium, and he didn't want his class to fail in this very important exam.

Ouyang was slightly taken aback, he didn't like to hear such words.But another sentence inside attracted him deeply. "If you have any troubles, you can come to the office to find me and tell me." Ouyang softly read what the head teacher said just now. Such a sentence is undoubtedly very tempting to Ouyang now .

"Can I really talk to him?" He murmured, his eyes lost in confusion.

"Do you really want to go to his office to find him and tell him?" He murmured again, still full of doubts in his heart.He didn't know what was bothering him at all, so how could he tell him?Besides, even if you know it, is it useful to say it?He hesitated, not knowing whether he should go to him or not.

He raised his head, looked at the head teacher on the podium, and found that this head teacher, who had always disgusted him, suddenly miraculously no longer had that disgusting feeling.

Ouyang buried his head in doubt again, he couldn't figure it out, "Could it be that just because of his words like that changed my previous view of him? If this is the case, then my position is too unstable It's gone." He analyzed, but he knew that he had always been an obstinate and even stubborn old man, how could he change his view of a person so easily?

"What's the reason?" The confusion in his eyes deepened, and he felt that his brain was not enough recently, and such and such problems bothered him, tormented him, and made him puzzled!
"Still—" His heart skipped a beat, as if he had finally discovered something.

He sighed heavily, looked up at the class teacher on the podium again, and buried his head again. "I still take it too seriously." He murmured softly.

He already knew the answer to this.If you don't take the cause of the inexplicable boredom too seriously and want to find out the answer urgently, then how can you ignore everything in the outside world, have no appetite to eat, and have no mood to do anything?
But how could he ignore it?This heavy iron-like mood has been suppressing him, making him feel that he can hardly breathe, and even thought of dying to escape.Such heaviness, such depression!How could he ignore it?

"In this case—" He raised his head again, and looked at the class teacher on the podium again.

At this moment, he had already made a decision in his heart, and there was no hesitation on his face.

"But, will it really work?" He felt that his heart was as fragile as a piece of porcelain, and could no longer withstand a little bump.

"Maybe I'm just here to talk." A sigh-like voice rose from the bottom of his heart. At this moment, he realized that he was really lonely.

I'm so lonely that I hide everything in my heart, I'm so lonely that I can't find anyone to talk to when I'm sad!

(End of this chapter)